Monday, April 2, 2012

Season on the Brink

PYB has been a bit absent since its return, mostly because nothing has triggered our bitterness and partly because it's a semi-slow news time. But, in hopes of starting this week off on a more productive foot we give you the following (we're working on adding a picture for this entry, but is being a piece of shit right now):

--The NCAA semifinal basketball game between Ohio State and Kansas was rigged. Was David Stern in building? Are we supposed to believe the the Buckeyes dominate the Jayhawks, as expected, in the first half and then can't do anything correctly in the second half? Are we supposed to believe those BS whistles on Deshaun Thomas were legitimate? Are we supposed to believe that Thad Matta went to the Roy Williams School of NCAA Tournament coaching during the 20-minute halftime break? No. No. No.

--The Nebraska baseball team dropped its weekend series at Northwestern. Ouch. How long until some dildo sports writer refreshes his "Northwestern has Nebraska's number in every sport" angle? It was already done after NU's basketball loss, we'd expect it to have happened already, if all the local beat writers weren't stroking it to the tape of Taylorina's "new" throwing motion...

Either way, this is not a good thing for Darin Erstad's team. An NCAA bid was improbable due to the fact that Mike Anderson ruined the program, didn't recruit well and scheduled like shit. Losses like this cement that fate.

--Sure, Donovan McFlabb was washed up when he was in Washington. But hopefully that doesn't camouflage the fact that he's right on all accounts: Mike Shanahan thinks it's still 1999 and Robert Griffin should be playing his home games on turf, indoors, if not both. (See Michael Vick in games after October 15). Herschel Walker thinks the Redskins overtraded for Griffin.

--Speaking of Griffin, and his Heisman Trophy from last December. We have two questions that we never posed concerning the award ceremony: 1. Why was a woman handling the podium announcement? 2. Why did she shout with glee "Robert Griffin....R G 3!" when she read his name? Like she was so happy that he beat all the other finalists? Like it was...uh...rigged???! Like the Heisman shares a home city with David Stern's office? The Heisman hasn't been legitimate in 25 years, but any last shred of dignity it had went out the window at that moment.

--Bonus question: if you guess correctly and tell us whether Taylorina is throwing a real pass route or a pass for a game of 500 here, you'll win a special prize (a copy of "Bounce: Behind the Velvet Rope") But according to his new 'coach,' as long as his feet are set properly he's good to go! That, and he drops back farther! And doesn't panic! Jesus.

--Lastly, Dirk Chatelain tries too hard in his expose column about Tim Miles, but there's some great background information about the new NU basketball coach. Read it, just try not to throw up after reading the overly syrupy delivery. Dirk, you're not Robert Frost....just get the nuts and bolts out there and save us about 500 unecessary words....

All for now, as PYB decides who to wager on tonite. Is the public right to jerk off the Kentucky squad, that nevers seems focused, skilled or particulary good outside of shotblocking? Or will the NCAA rig another game to keep Kansas close? Decisions, decisions....

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