Saturday, January 30, 2016

A Children's Story

So little time, so little time. PYB pens just a few random thoughts after a month-long hiatus. Our real mission, of course, to soon pen some coherent thoughts about the Lawrence Phillips debacle. But little time, so many questions and, until then, just a few items that will hopefully put us back into a rhythm for 2016:

-Nebraska, one of the most perennially meaningless NCAA Division I basketball programs over the last 30 years, has a former player as an NBA head coach. A program that usually has between zero and two of the 400+ players in the league, now owns one of the 30 head-coaching slots. Amazing, we say.

Random as it is, it's true. However, as PYB roots for Tyronn Lue to succeed in Cleveland, we will always root for Queen Lebron James to fail. That is because James is the poster child for everything wrong with sports.

Couldn't win on his own in round one in Cleveland. Ran to Miami, and like another petulant prick at the YMCA on Saturday, stacked his team and doctored up two titles. Became an "icon" by "winning" two titles, ran back home so he could focus on building an empire and bullying his way around Cleveland. A town desperate enough to draft Johnny Manziel and then not cut him after two years of beer-bonging and bottle-servicing his way around the country, would surely bow down to the Queen with little effort, right?

Once in Cleveland, James didn't want to listen to his coach, who apparently expected to do more than Erik Spoelstra did in Miami while deferring to Her Highness. Got coach fired in favor of Lue, his friend, and then seethed at the nerve of the media to even insinuate he's a coach killer. Fuck, Jason Kidd might even accuse Queen James of being a coach killer this time around.

As much as James tried to spin it to the contrary, it's quite apparent he's no on-court killer, no winner. PYB loves that James lauds his own 'high basketball IQ' when he can't even make two consecutive free throws in the clutch. Depending on your perspective, blatantly ignoring one's manager is either a sign of high IQ or insubordination.

So, Lue's future sits in the hands of a spoiled brat, concerned more about his image than he is about leading a winning franchise and empowering teammates to be their best. Being their best and taking the Cavaliers to a level where they could compete with Golden State. Ain't gonna happen.

Lue knows the cards are stacked against him, and has said as much. PYB knows that second chances to be an NBA head coach don't always come around, especially if the coach is black. If you're a scrub white coach, like George Karl, they come one after the other.

We wish you the best, Mr. Lue. But we won't expect it. Go Big Red.

--Speaking of the NBA and another of the league's little bitches..... Blake Griffin took a break from rehabbing his injury and spermanating Matt Leinart's baby momma, and beat up an equipment manager. A guy who's been known, since college, to bully and intimidate only those players much smaller and much less talented than he, while on the court has pushed his game to the next level by going studio gangster off the court and breaking his hand after consuming too many Midori Sours and pummeling a Los Angeles Clipper staffer in a restaurant brawl.

PYB longs for the good old days, when NBA tough guys threw hecklers through plate-glass windows. All we want for Christmas this year is to turn back the clock and see Griffin play one game in the paint against Charles Oakley and Xavier McDaniel.

--So much for Hefty being ready to charge back on to the PGA Tour scene after one top-five finish last week at the annual birdiefest in Palm Springs. PYB just hopes for one more run, reminiscent of Jack Nicklaus in 1986 in Augusta. Show us your tits, just one more time, Phil!

--PYB hopes that Cam Newton's team never makes the Super Bowl again. We're not even to game week yet, but we're already seven days into the "people call him a thug because he's black" saga. 24/7 on sports radio and at least one link per sports website page.

People actually don't like him because he stole a laptop at Florida, took money at Auburn while smiling smugly the whole time, took a pay cut to go to the NFL where he now acts like a jackoff on the field and has a nerdy celebration that he tries to pass off as cool. Raise the roof, anyone? And fuck off, sCam. Take a lesson from Vince Young and act like you've been there before!

--Wait! Speaking of Vince Young. Do you mean that the Longhorn Network hiring someone who blew all  the money he got from the University of Texas and the NFL and got into a strip club brawl a few years ago was a bad idea? The only worse idea -- keeping Young on staff after his DWI this week.

But let's keep in mind, the statement as to why UT kept Young came from one of its diversity officers and his trangressions are diverse. Lack of financial discipline. Engaging in the sex trade. Substance abuse. Endangering the citizens of Austin. Good job, Texas. You've become a turd on the field and are now one off the field.

That's all we've got. We hope to return soon.