Saturday, August 9, 2014

Urge Overkill

PYB will be all over the board this morning, trying to get warmed up and shake the rust off following our extended layoff(s). It's that time of year -- where overkill reigns. When everyone thinks that this is their year. When nerds act like they like football a little too much for it to be believable.

The same guys who act giddy about a fucking NFL preseason game or getting to see tape of drills from Minnesota Vikings camp will be too pussywhipped to watch regular-season action by week three and will miss their favorite college team's Saturday game to watch his kid play soccer. Losers.

On with it:

--Starting with a random thought, we say that once your casino brand comes to Sioux City, your casino brand is dead. Or -- maybe driving two hours to see a fucking guitar that somebody signed after touching one time is still cool and we're missing the boat and sucking in stale cigarette smoke and paying $15.99 for a cheese quesadilla that sat out too long is good entertainment?

--Speaking of things that have lived, died and moved on. Add college football to that list. Can Nike stick to trying to ruin golf instead? Anyone seen their golf shirts this year during PGA coverage? Anyone remember this?

--Speaking of overkill, Nebraska has lost three starters in less than a week of spring training. We'll call it four by including Avery Moss, whose infamous dong shot has cost Nebraska the chance to play 2014 with probably the best pair of defensive ends in the country. It may be for the best, though, as we don't have to watch NU coaches find a way to not pressure opposing quarterbacks while opting to not blitz and keeping extra defensive backs in no-man's land doing nothing. We're fine.

Back to the lecture at hand -- one of those lost starters couldn't learn the playbook enough to play but was supposed to be the Blackshirts' savior. Another showed up late last season and looked good just because he wasn't fucking up every other down. Michael Rose's loss is the most damaging, mostly in the fact that NU needs about 15 linebackers to fill the rotation since that said rotation is changed every game for the first eight games as Private Bo Pinelli searches for his new, permanent, temporary starters on a weekly basis.

That said, we're calling all the man love on Twitter, Instagram and "Social Media" (a top five bullshit fucking catch-all term currently) overkill. We're also calling media outlets simply quoting "social media" and calling it journalism overkill, or more accurately laziness. It's almost as bad as calling a television reporter a "journalist." I love you bro! No I love you more! No wonder these guys are so mentally weak they lose four games a year. Oh well, at least Nebraska fans will have an excuse after the team loses at Fresno, despite gaining 485 yards and turning the ball over in the red zone four times.

--Alright, maybe we're being too negative already. Let's be positive. The Huskers just got a commitment from a wide receiver who's already been slated as a 'possession receiver' and, if we're reading this link correctly, is going to battle for playing time on his high school team this season. Fuck. Yes.

--We've seen this movie before. Bread-and-butter looks great vs. bad teams early. Hit panic button vs. good teams and attempt to turn run-first QB into a dropback passer who is required to make five reads on every attempt. Rotten Tomatoes rates this: Bad times and an 8-4 star rating after 12 games. Can NU trade Tim Beck to Azusa Pacific for Drake Martinez and defensive back to be named later? By the way, we got a kick out of this link -- where the possibility of Martinez heading to San Diego State did little to inspire its fan base.

--Switching gears to golf. Dustin Johnson is a cokehead. Par for the course for guys who are engaged to sluts. Can we talk about him being an accessory to murder yet, or do we still have to talk about how far he hits the golf ball? Can we talk about his DUI in 2009? Or just his bowed left wrist during his backswing and how he can dunk a basketball off two feet?

--Sticking to golf. Valhalla looks good on television this week. Golf 'purists' are probably pissed since the course isn't brown. Rory McIlroy is looking dominant again. Phil Mickelson eagled 18 on Friday to pull within three of McIlroy's lead and nine-under. Young guns Jason Day and Rickie Fowler are also in the hunt.

And, of course, the story is all about Tiger's Wood missing the cut. Or, shall we quote ESPN and say -- "the game's biggest draw." The Worldwide Leader is pissed it has nothing to talk about and has now started hammering the "will Tom Watson still pick Woods for the Ryder Cup team" angle.

--Speaking of overkill, which television spot will be driven into the ground more over the weekend? The Omega advertisement with McIlroy where the song says "you be in da hall of fame and everyone gonna know yo' name." Making golf cool, see, if a nerdy Irish kid with an unfortunate afro wears an expensive watch, hits golf shots over Dubai and does it to hip hoppish music -- he cool.

Or the Matt Lionhart, Brian Bosworth, Heath Shuler going back to college spot for Dish Network? (Side note: Dish Network is worse than any of these guys were in the NFL). That said, it's a tight race at this point.....

--Kevin Durant was mentally exhausted from losing in the Western Conference finals more than two months ago and quit the national squad. We'd like it more if he just told us he quit because they're prepping for a meaningless tournament and he wants some couch time. And if he thinks playing hoops and being rich is taxing, he should try pounding 250 e-mails a day during the week, trying to mix in a blog post once in a while and then trying to play 18 holes once a week while using less than 25% of your vacation days because your co-workers are too fucking lame to cover while you're gone. A fucking grind. The team replaced him with Rudy Gay.

--Speaking of gays, Michael Sam played for the Rams last night. ESPN is already getting all the mileage that it can out of the story -- time is precious before Sam gets cut or becomes a non-factor. Make sure to use your show pony while you can! Apparently, recording a "QB Hit" is now worthy of reporting.

That's all we have. The golf course beckons. Happy birthday to AMG -- one of our most strident supporters. We know our recent absence has let you down.

PYB still owes its readers our yearly college football over/under post -- but we can't guarantee anything this year -- as work has us on the move again. After finishing a three-year stretch in Dallas, we're now on to Norph Carolina and hope that we re-enter present day life after being stuck in 1991 with Cowboy fans who still think Larry Bird is walking through that door. Wish us luck.

Thanks for reading.....PYB.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Cargo Beep! Beep!

PYB checks in, with our weekend already made yesterday, when we woke up to this exchange between Phil Mickelson and his caddie. Certainly, we enjoyed it. Certainly, we're looking forward to a two-tee start in bad weather Saturday and Dustin Johnson's inevitable 77. The only question is, at what point during his meltdown do the announcers herald his success despite coming back from supplying someone with a gun that was used in a murder without spelling it out directly? Should be good fun!

videoWe've been gone a long time, and our previous claim of being 'back and here to stay' was as empty as Bo Pinelli's proclamation at the Holiday Bowl a few years ago. Lots to cover, so here goes:

-How many pair of cargo shorts does $3 million a year buy? A lot, apparently. If a Division I head football coach must insist on wearing cargo shorts in this day and age, is using an iron or at least some wrinkle releaser too much to ask?

-PYB enjoys the television spot for this product, endorsed by elite athletes -- a retired women's soccer player, a bass fisherman and a generic construction worker. Couldn't Mia get Noarm Garciapopup to join in the fun?

-For all you fellow golf nerds out there, we enjoyed this read. See, we're not all doom and gloom.

-It's that ESPY time of year, reminding us why this is the worst time of year for sports and why ESPN is a fraud. Evidence of such (if a network creating its own awards show and presenting awards for non-achievements wasn't enough proof for us all):

  • Running Linda Cohn out in an evening dress with her fake jugs flopping out of her dress.
  • Presenting the USMNT (yes, the nation's soccer team has an abbreviation, apparently) and award for Best Moment for its win over Ghana. Subsequent meltdowns and lackluster 1-1-1 World Cup record ignored, of course. Not sure why this was a great moment, other than the fact it made ESPN a lot of money when it convinced a lot of people to sit in half-empty sports bars at odd hours and pretend they like soccer.
  • Giving Michael Sam an award for being gay. Whatever -- if he's OK being their show pony, then I guess we have to be. Just answer one question for us: Is it courageous to be gay, or are people born that way, or does it depend which point one is trying to make at a particular time?
  • Queen James - Ah, Queen James.....we'll get there shortly.


-Even though the doldrums of June and July are the worst time of the sports year, we do have four days of The Open Championship to bridge a few days of the gap between the NBA and college football seasons. That's not the British Open, mind you, we had to change that a while ago as Americans assimilate to whatever the Euros do and apparently the US Open, Malaysian Open, Canadian Open and French Open don't count. Either way, a few of our favorite moments this year:

  • The Tiger Woods featured group live feed. If anyone can win a major without a golf game, it's Tiger Woods!
  • Woods' "Jesus Christ" moment on the 18th hole on Thursday was just more proof of how he's still a fucking asshole. Still the only golfer on tour who has to fight camera clicks, wind, bugs, sand and shirts that are too tight. Poor guy.
  • ESPN reminding us that Tiger is "Chasing Jack" and gracing us all with a Woods countdown clock before his Friday tee time. Regarding that 'chase', Woods has been running in place for 6+ years.
  • American announcers overusing British golf terms in part of that whole assimilation bit. Remember, it's a game, not a match. Player A is at level par, he's not even. Also, don't forget wagering on a 'game' is legal in the UK and they all threw a few pounds on their favorite for the week. Whatever, with the proliferation of online gambling sites, so did the rest of us.
  • Scott Van Pelt trying too hard to sound like an insider by using terms he hears from the players. Flags that are whipping in the wind are 'starched.' Yada yada....we get it nerd. You're at all the cool events, and we aren't.
  • Ryan Moore is wearing golf shoes. We can't wait for his fat ass to blow his chance to win.
  • Sergio Garcia's pants are too tight, as always. How painful will it be to watch him putt away another chance at a major?
  • Peter Alliss called out Rickie Fowler's poor hat selections yesterday. Time to man up, Rickie. Or should that be Rick now, as he blossoms from boy to man like one Rick Schroder did in the 1990s?

-Queen James. PYB has no venom this time. It's sad, actually, running home for no good reason after getting waxed by the San Antonio Spurs last month in the NBA Finals. Random thoughts, however:

  • Cleveland wasn't good enough for Her Highness three summers ago, but is now?
  • She's stacking her team team again like an insecure little girl at the YMCA. This year's target - Kevin Love. Two questions: so people will flock to play with the Queen in Cleveland this year but James couldn't convince anyone to do so in 2011? That, and people were initially recoiling in horror when the Cavaliers were considering including Andrew Wiggins in a deal for Love. Let's see, a player who averaged 17 points a game for a Kansas team that flamed out in the second round of the NCAAs or an NBA All-Star who averaged 26 points and 12 rebounds a game last year, knows how to play the professional game and is willing to come in and play the good soldier to get out of Minnesota and gravy train a title. Hmm.....
  • James couldn't win with Wade and Bosh and Allen. No biggie, hit the reset button. WITNESS or COWARD? Welcome to 2014, where the NBA is now the equivalent of an AAU summer league.
  • PYB has been told that it's a money thing? Lebron wanted a max deal. Because a few million a year really matters given his endorsements are estimated to be $53 million a year by Forbes.
  • ESPN: Like my journalism professors always said: When there's no news -- create a story.
  • In a related side note: Carmelo Anthony's potential free agency and subsequent resigning with NYK was highly anticipated for no good reason. Alas, 10 more years of hearing how he's the game's best pure scorer because he can't win a thing because he's a shitty teammate.
  • Second related side note: Chris Bosh to the Rockets. One would think toiling in anonymity in Houston would be perfect for a non-Alpha male like bosh. Question: Is there room for two Tin Men in the Rockets' front court and is it a bad thing that Dwight Howard may have to learn toughness from Bosh? Possibly the first big-man duo to average 40 points and 20 rebounds a game and go 37-45.

That's all we have for now. Enjoy your Open Championship -- we'll try to chime in with more thoughts yet this weekend. Right now, Andy North is telling us how the wet rough at Hoylake is tougher than "US Open rough" even though the US Open doesn't have rough anymore. That said, just remember, if anyone can come back from 12 shots back despite being years outside his prime and saddled with a failing, steroid-battered body -- it's Tiger Woods.

Jesus Fucking Christ guys, haven't you learned anything?!!

--PYB

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Pussy Control

PYB is back.....and we're here to stay. So many of our favorite targets teed us up with easy opportunities this fine Sunday. Let's go:

-In addition to being a shitty basketball coach, Roy Williams is now exposed as a crook yet feigned surprise when Rashad McCants sang like a canary. Academic fraud -- no biggie.

-Drake Martinez quit before he got started in Lincoln because he needed a fresh start. Too bad his older brother didn't have the same gene. Anyway, everyone wins in this one and Chico State likely gets the backup third-down back it covets.

-Queen James. Cramps. Do we need to elaborate?

-And Horace Grant went on record with this before the Queen's Midol Moment. 72-10.

-PYB watched SportsCenter a couple weeks ago. One of the anchors had no idea who Ernest Givins was -- and admitted it on air. Tells you all you need to know about ESPN being a valid entity. A Google search also reveals rumors that Givins is/was gay -- can't believe the Worldwide Leader hasn't run that topic into the ground already.

-Watched the Bad Boys '30 For 30' last week. Watching the cheap shots and hard fouls that was mildly entertaining, especially when some that didn't even warrant an ejection would be grounds for a multi-game suspension and Congressional hearing today. However, acting like the Bad Boy craze swept the nation, when it was merely David Stern's bridge between the Bird/Magic era and the Jordan era, was a bit much. The two-hour episode should have been cut to 60 minutes, and Isiah Thomas is still a joke. (as if his walking off the court before the game against Chicago was over and running the CBA into the ground weren't proof enough)

-Finally, part of our recent backlog has been failure to watch the replay of the Nebraska football spring game. We finally got to it last week. Those of you who haven't seen it will be glad to know little has changed. Outside of a stray cat and a few grabass games/drills, the game was boring as always
and NU still has the same warts as always. Those of you who appreciate our glass-half-empty analysis, read on:


  • Tim Beck soldiered on with his Square Peg, Round Hole Offense -- dropping Tommy Armstrong back into the pocket time after time and forcing the young quarterback to make quick reads and force passes into tight spots over the middle of the field. Solid plan -- well, until Armstrong's first attempt was one of three interceptions thrown by NU QBs on the day. All over the middle. Hmmm.....
  • Ryker Fyfe is Nebraska's best passer. If NU insists on turning Armstrong into the next Ron Powlus, Bo Pinelli may as well sit  him now in favor of Fyfe, who will throw for 400 yards a game against bad teams before being entirely overwhelmed by any decent defense.
  • Byerson Cockrell looked good in coverage a few times. Hopefully, he doesn't go the way of Ciante Evans and get worse by the season.
  • The second-team defense ran on to the field late and gave up an easy touchdown. The process is definitely in place...
  • Will Shields made a cameo as a sideline reporter, and it was uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable of the turn-the-head and talk to somebody as loud as possible variety.
  • Pinelli ran the team through punt coverage drills, and the performance was awful. There were no live punts, however. Make sense for a team that has been absolutely pathetic in the return game for years. We're fine.
  • Imani Cross missed an easy block in pass protection. Great attribute for a 260-pound running back. He fooled many into thinking he's a Division I talent by making some big runs in garbage time.
  • Johnny Stanton debuted. He throws like shit, just like he did in high school. He engineered a false start on 3rd & 1 on his first series. Sounds like four-year starting QB material to Coach Pinelli....
  • The DJ blared the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Hello, 1991. But fear not, Husker fans, there will be a new guy running the tunes in the fall. Can't wait.
  • In one of the grabass moments, cheerleaders called plays for the offense. How cute. Unsurprisingly, they were less predictable than Beck's regular-season play calls. Either way, PYB says a team with so many executional flaws needs every repetition it can get in lieu of family-friendly novelty acts. The Lincoln Saltdogs play across the highway.
  • Zack Darlington was overwhelmed. He'll never play a down in Lincoln, green jersey or not.
  • NU finished the game by failing to score on a possession starting inside the ten yard line. The drive culminated with a 21-yard field goal, which accented a missed extra point earlier in the day. The kicking game is fine.

All we got. On to enjoy our Sunday. Enjoy yours. PYB

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Let Them Eat Cock

As promised, PYB follows up this weekend's post by covering some of the latest news concerning our favorite topics and/or targets. Here we go:

Queen James -- Suggested that Kevin Durant should leave Oklahoma City after the OKC newspaper wrote one disparaging headline about this season's MVP. James, of course, is selling Durant short by assuming that KD has the same run-for-the-hills mentality he does. Judging by Durant's MVP acceptance speech alone, it's quite apparent that there's much more heart inside that body than the Queen's shell.

Superwoman -- Dwight Howard made a playoff exit in just five games, losing to the underdog Portland Trailblazers. Anyone surprised? Howard is still a liability to his team late in the fourth quarter.

Chris Paul -- The league's alleged pre-eminent point guard showed his true playoff mettle last night, throwing the ball away with an inexplicable cross-court back-court pass, and then fouling Russell Westbrook on a three-point attempt, and then losing the ball on the game's final possession when he balked at an open 14-foot pull-up jumper to help his team seal a come-from-ahead loss after leading by 13 points with four minutes remaining. Stellar series of plays.

Charles Barkley called both Paul and Westbrook "dum-dums" and said coaches are taking an unfair amount of heat for players who are consistently blowing games in crunch time with poor decision making. Translation: no fundamentals or basketball IQ due to lack of coaching/proper training in their developmental years.

Unlike some players (Howard), Paul at least was accountable in a post-game press conference. Doc Rivers melted down in his press conference, saying his team was robbed. Perhaps Doc should spend $350,000 on Luke Ridnour to run his team in the last two minutes next season instead of whining about his superstar pissing the game away. Perhaps the Clippers can raise that extra dough by asking for $350k more when selling the team away from Donald Sterling.

Sterling, by the way, had a classic, demented rant during his interview with Anderson Cooper. Despite all the nonsensical thoughts, his thoughts on Magic Johnson's credibility being questioned due to him banging every slut across the country and getting "the AIDS" were partially funny and largely accurate. Magic did his best to dismiss Sterling's painful barb and did a poor job of it. Moving on....

NBA Officials -- Blew the foul/possession call at the end of last night's game when Matt Barnes fouled Reggie Jackson, the officials didn't call it but then awarded the ball to Oklahoma City when it clearly should have gone to Los Angeles. Two thoughts: Paul should have earned his millions and avoided this situation entirely and since when does a player have to be touched to garner a foul call?

In fact, the NBA knows its official are so fucking bad, that it created a rule stating that if a defender hits an opponent's hand and makes the ball go out of bounds, that the ball goes back to the offensive team. Never mind the foul call. Inside the NBA on TNT showed the excerpt from the rulebook this morning. Christ....

The NFL Draft -- It happened. Losers rejoiced and dressed up in full gameday mode. The NFL pushed the event into May (while blaming it on the Rockettes) to grab more cash and added player introductions as if it was Game 7 of the NBA finals. Experts heralded Cleveland's selection of Jenny Football, conveniently forgetting that much faster (Michael Vick), bigger (Vince Young), and smarter/mature (Robert Griffin - ) mobile quarterbacks have been quickly pounded into submission by the league's defenders. Nobody runs from the NFL -- especially on the painted concrete come late September in Ohio. Just ask Colt McCoy, another Texas-bred midget.

T-Ragic -- Taylor Martinez signed a free-agent contract with the Philadelphia Eagles, likely just to torment us for a few more months. If all goes as expected, he'll be cut by August 10. Tom Shatel offered his analysis in the Omaha World Herald, forgetting three things:

  • NFL return specialists must have moves to avoid tacklers to be successful
  • NFL players who fumble twice a season are considered fumble-prone. Martinez fumbles 3-5 times a game.
  • NFL players must actually earn their playing time

The Big Ten -- Extended its streak of not having a player selected in the Top 10 of the NFL draft to seven. None since 2008. Maybe Maryland and Rutgers have some good players in their pipelines. Bo Pinelli says the conference is fine.

Bo Pinelli -- Nebraska had just three players drafted last week. All three are borderline NFL talents. We're fine. (Our analysis: Stanley Jean-Baptiste doesn't have the fluidity to succeed at corner in the NFL. Hopefully, we're wrong. Spencer Long will wash out quickly. Quincy Enunwa will last several years due to his physicality -- perhaps on special teams. His lack of top-end speed will be his biggest detractor.)

ESPN -- The World Wide Leader invaded Michael Sam's privacy, putting him on camera for the nation to watch him shed tears of joy after being drafted in the final round, shove cake down his boyfriend's throat, then trade kisses with said boyfriend. Unfair to Sam, turning him into a sad sideshow -- aka The Amazing Gay Football player -- step right up, folks. Unfair to viewers to have to absorb such pathetic television. Nobody wants to see this tired act at a wedding, much less the NFL Draft. Those wanting that treatment can flip the television to the Soap Opera network and watch Melrose Place reruns.

Draft Analysts -- Unbeknownst to PYB, AJ McCarron, Logan Thomas and Aaron Murray are "big-name" quarterbacks. You read it here. McCarron Tweeted that he now will play with a chip on his shoulder....if you think his 220 yards a game in college were a big deal, just wait until he racks up 190 yards a game and three interceptions during the NFL preseason now that he's pissed off!

Nebraska Football -- In a harsh reminder of how far the program has fallen, Husker Nation is overreacting to the potential loss of knuckleheaded Josh Banderas due to bike theft. Now, we see just how stupid he is and why he was too dumb to stay on the field last season. Dismiss him and move on.

What happened to the good times, when true talents came to Lincoln and committed real crimes like attempted murder, discharge of a firearm, and sexual assault? So $1699 of bikes split two ways is about $800 a man when split equally throughout this complex crime ring. Didn't need the money, it's just a hobby.

No more questions....

PYB

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Giddy Up

PYB promises a triumphant return in the near future, as there is plenty to cover. A first-round NBA-playoff flameout by our favorite pansy, Dwight Howard. The NFL draft, complete with wedding cake. And more.

In the meantime, we'll settle for a photo that we snapped while on vacation. ESPN made this rather unfortunate pairing of anchor Sara Walsh and a Kentucky Derby hopeful last Saturday. Let's just say that both creatures share six beautiful legs and leave it at that...

Monday, April 21, 2014

Rocket Woman

PYB apologizes for a long layoff. Crazy times. Not much news. A trip to the Masters in between. That said, let's go:


--This story got printed? We're just glad Scott Gutschewski had the foresight to call out that the only thing preventing Nebraska from hosting a major PGA golf tournament is the fact that the state does not have a course capable of handling such an event. Minor detail.

--Just when we thought the Nebraska baseball team was on the right track moving toward a Big 10 championship, Darin Erstad's squad nearly got swept by 8-24 Northwestern in Lincoln. They'll have to sweep a series or two on the way in to overtake powerhouses like Indiana and Illinois -- a murderer's row.

--As mentioned, PYB attended last week's Masters. Great course, great food, great talent (in more than one way, which was an unexpected surprise). A Friday night stay in Madison, GA, produced a great meal, a cool impromptu tour of some beautiful homes and reminders of the Civil War.

Saturday included a walk of the whole course, sampling of every sandwich and drink of the menu and literally thousands of men incapable of dressing themselves. (See pic above of douchebag at the Atlanta airport in Masters shirt, plaid pants and golf shoes.....on a Friday! And, just for the record, he'll never fucking lose his keys OR sunglasses.)

The tournament itself lacked the weekend drama of many preceding years, which we considered a blessing as we prefer to be posted up on the couch for Saturday and Sunday.

--Superwoman losing playoff games she should win and a liability in the fourth quarter. Anyone heard that before?

--Speaking of NBA tank jobs, the teams we expected to fizzle early, despite their marketing prowess, all lost in their first games:

1. LA Clippers and Chris Paul: high flying and dunking in the regular season. No legitimate halfcourt game in playoffs. It's his DNA.

2. Indiana Pacers: Simply awful during the last 25 games of the season. Their star Paul George shot 37% the last month. An early exit will be an indication of what the team is, not a fluke.

3. Houston Rockets: See above. James Harden 8/28 in the opening game, forcing shot after shot. Superwoman a complete hindrance in the clutch, with no balls to elevate his team to a higher level. LaMarcus Aldridge taking out the Rockets' defensive spark plug with a cheap-as-hell illegal screen. Recipe for disaster.

That said, playoff mainstays San Antonio and Miami had trouble shaking lesser opponents in Dallas and Charlotte. It will be interesting to see what develops and what gets rigged the next two months.

--Before we forget, PYB offers best wishes to Craig Sager.

--Nebraska spring football happened. Every position is stockpiled better than any year in the last 20. Bo Pinelli is nice now. Every player transformed his body and is twice as strong as he was in January after the bowl game. Trending up in Lincoln! Wow.

Given all that good news, we've still got the game/scrimmage/grabass session on the DVR to watch and plan to be back with our takeaways at a later date.

We're gonna run for now. Duty calls. We'll be back soon.

PYB

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Moon Patrol

PYB jumps in after watching Florida's "star" point guard miss two late free throws and piss away an easy cover for the Gators. It's our third push in the last 24 hours after buying the half point. After a good first week of wagers, this week has been a wash. After 10 days of March Madness, we've accumulated some material:


--We visited San Antonio for Nebraska's first-round debacle against Baylor. The officiating was fucking atrocious. It didn't change the outcome, but it ruined the experience for players, coaches and fans alike. The referees made sure they were the story, which is a damn shame. More of a damn shame than us dropping $800 to watch NU rack up another tournament loss. And we'd do it again tomorrow. Tim Miles knew the game was over once Terran Pettaway got his fourth foul on a bullshit call and was smart not to stick around for the pending carnage.

There was an Erick Strickland sighting, so that was a positive. PYB saw him outside the arena and also five rows from the floor inside, clapping to the Husker fight song, while his mannequin girlfriend sat on her ass and texted the entire time.

We also saw Hank from Breaking Bad. We thought he died last season, but apparently he's alive and well and is a Creighton fan. (See our undercover photo from our shitty $180 seat in the corner.)

--The AT&T Center is a badly outdated facility. The seating configuration of the arena is solid, but the concourses are old, shitty and quite frankly embarrassing for a four-time NBA Champion*. If it weren't for the trophy cases that were missing the four trophies, adorned in faded carpet, the place would be an outright shithole.

The only thing worse than the interior of the arena is the outside. Stuck in no-man's land and bordering the San Antonio 'hood, it is horribly unfriendly to fans. No amenities. No bars. No restaurants. No cabs. When, after begging for a Bloody Mary for 20 minutes at our hotel the morning of the game, we asked if there was anywhere to get a beer before tip, our waitress confidently answered: "Oh yeah, honey, there's a golf course right across the street."

There was no golf course. There was, however, plenty of construction on site to make visitors feel like they were somewhere on the moon -- the shitty part. (See photos courtesy of Juice Diggler.) And, if yo' girl is in need of some stretch pants with the American flag or some Rasta shit on them, you can pick up a pair after the game.

The arena can be plenty loud, especially when filled with 17,000 whining Spurs fans who are cheering at the top of their lungs because they have nothing better to do and know a stray bullet may find them on the trip home after the game. Hence, not all was lost -- we did admittedly enjoy the Riverwalk. We even met the Omaha World Herald's Tom Shatel and shook his hand. We were under the influence of multiple margaritas, and with our untrammeled vision, he appeared to be as well.

--Speaking of home-court advantages and the OWH, Dirk Chatelain has uncovered a secret: home crowds provide an edge to the home team in college basketball! Who knew??!?

--The recent movement for the NCAA to have identical playing floors at every tournament site sucks cock. Idea: let's drain every last fucking ounce of personality out of the tournament and homogenize it into an amorphous piece of shit that cranks out dollars. Yep, let's do it. Kiss my ass. No gaudy paint in Boise? No Knicks logo at MSG? Squint to see the dark blue lettering in the black baseline so you can see where the game is being played. Fuck off.

--PYB channels its inner Chatelain and uncovers previously unknown secrets by telling its readers: Nebraska's women's teams choke every year.

--We can only hope the furor over Philadelphia cutting DeSean Jackson subsides quickly. There's a lot of furor over a one-trick pony receiver, who's scared to go over the middle and whose attitude changes with the wind. Looking at his 2013 stats, they're better than we expected (1300 yards and nine TDs), but the Eagles have always been team over individual and compromising chemistry to keep a baby whose speed will only diminish in upcoming years wouldn't be advisable. Remember, even though Jackson throws Crip signs, he's scared to go over the middle.

--Phil Mickelson has learned to quit -- just like Tiger Woods -- unless one thinks it is coincidence that his withdrawal Saturday at the Valero Texas Open came with Hefty sitting at multiple shots over par, 15 shots off the lead and pondering the joy of playing 27 more holes on a half-brown golf course. Viewers who kept the tournament on (us, because there was not shit else to watch) were instead treated to Andrew Loupe making five to eight practice swings per shot and Matt Kuchar fake smiling and looking 25 years older than his age. Good times.

--Private Pinelli is conducting one-on-one drills for his punt return team? Do we need to comment on this, or is the futility apparent without us doing so?

--FYI: The officials in the Wisconsin vs. Arizona game were horrible. So were the officials at the end of Michigan vs. Tennessee. PYB has seen at least three calls blow this tournament AFTER the referees consulted the video replay -- truly amazing feats.

--Reminder for all you deadbeats: Make sure to sign up for Obamacare if you don't have a fucking job. The deadline is quickly approaching. Or, should we call it Zo-bamacare after the television commercial where Alonzo Mourning goes the playground to tell 10 idiots who are playing pickup basketball that they should probably have insurance if they're going to be playing full-court basketball at the playground?

Of course, the Alpha male tells Zo at the start that he's young and doesn't need that shit, before coming correct when Zo drops a few tidbits of knowledge on his uninformed ass. We couldn't make this stuff up. And, if Zo isn't enough to intimidate you into getting your free shit, Magic Johnson has a spot too -- claiming it's "Magic" to get your health coverage for little to nothing. Is AZT covered for average Joes?

That's all for now. We're going to prematurely eject, as we've got a solo parenting gig going this weekend and need to finish some things prior to a child waking. We just felt the need to publish something for our loyal readers. Hell, if we keep that up, we may turn into John Grisham.

Enjoy your Sunday and the pictorial below. Quick recap....Riverwalk, fan in Satin Husker jacket that we almost gave credit to until seeing a Creighton shirt underneath the jacket (see blue strip protruding from bottom of jacket), the statue of some old-and-likely racist dude at Dallas Love Field appears to have a boner when you look at it from the escalator and the Spurs' trophy-less trophy case with faded carpet. Sorry for the awful formatting -- blogger is not too friendly in this regard....  PYB