Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Give a Dawg a Bone

Old Bo Pinelli,
Went to Orlando,
To bring the Cap One trophy home,
When Taylor moved over,
Ameer turned the ball over,
And the Dawgs gave the Huskers a bone of their own!

Six lines. Succint recap of another fucking Nebraska meltdown. Another potential win over an SEC team pissed away into a multiple-score loss. We're fine.

PYB chimes in with a quick foray into all that is wrong with the NU football program. We'd settle on telling you that the Blackskirts gave up 589 yards and lost the turnover margin battle yet again, but as Barney Cotton told us yesterday....stats are for losers. We'll rifle down the list of observations until the coup de gras, when all was lost yet again:

--We predicted the first turnover would occur before the 11:30 mark. We were right, as Justin Blatchford forgot the cardinal rule of blocking on punts and kicks, stepped outside, and gave up a blocked punt that gave UGA a 2-0 lead at the 11:39 point of the first quarter.

--Charles Jackson made a great hit on the ensuing Brett Maher punt. He's from the Houston area. We are glad NU cut its recruiting in Texas to concentrate on the Rust Belt's Catholic pipeline.

--NU racked up 30 yards in penalties in the first six minutes.

--In short order, the Blackskirts blew a coverage and allowed the Georgia tight end to waltz into the endzone untouched for a 9-0 lead. By this point, NU had blown several opportunities, should have led in the game, but was behind by nine points. Another case of Cocklash.....

--Rex Burkhead followed that up with a a couple big gains....only to be promptly benched.

--NU had amassed 55 yards in penalties int he first 17 minutes.

--Burkhead was back in the game, rolling down the field...when Taylor Martinez remembered he was Taylor Martinez and threw an interception. Death. Taxes. T Vag.

--On yet another drive, Burkhead (the only NU player with big game balls) was running right through the Bulldog defense. Then he got benched, and Tim Beck called three consecutive Martinez passes. Drive over.

--By halftime, somehow, the Cornhuskers we ahead 24-23 and collecting nuggets of Fool's Gold along the way. Martinez was getting away with passes into traffic and back across the field. Disaster was imminent.

--After blowing a 31-23 lead in just seconds, NU had the ball back near midfield. On 3rd & 1, Beck decided that Burkhead was more valuable as a pitcher and lead blocker than a running back who averaged 5.5 yards per carry against the 'vaunted' Dawgs defensive line. Ameer Abdullah reverted to earlier season form, fumbled the ball away and gifted another undeserved win to a mediocre SEC team. 31-31 became 38-31, Dawgs, in no time. Fucking tremendous.

--Still a one possession game, NU had gotten Georiga (yes, Georiga) to a 3rd and 12 in its own territory before deciding to blitz both its linebackers directly into blockers, blowing a coverage and relinquishing an 87-yard touchdown that made it 45-31. Game over. Another national embarrassment. But hey, you are what you bust....

--With the result no longer in doubt, PYB quit nitpicking. We did notice, though, that T Vagic tweaked his ankle in the fourth quarter. That should give him an excuse for 12 more games of mistake-laden football.

--After talking shit to Georgia's DBs, Taylorina got rocked three times. Perhaps if you suck and are stupid, the best course of action is to keep your mouth shut. More concerning was that not one teammate came to his defense after a couple borderline cheap shots from Bulldog defenders. So much for honor, code, loyalty. Nebraska is a national punch line.

--When Josh Mitchell was beaten for a long pass on a jump ball (which marked about the 15th time an NU CB got burned in the game), Bo Pinelli threw his hands up -- apparently exasperated that the 155-pound cornerback he recruited couldn't beat the bigger/faster/strong player for the football. Amazing concept.

--Most disturbing, we think, was the slew of "you can't put this one on Taylor" comments we saw from the Martinez apologists on Twitter. Obviously, PYB has a strong disdain for this gutless loser....BUT, if fans are continually making excuses for a quarterback for why he can't win games that matter after three full years as a starter, there's a problem. Winning quarterbacks are leaders. They win. They don't give a fuck about numbers. Losers point out that they scored 31 points, despite losing by more than 30 points. Tommie Frazier had to compete for his starting job every year....but somehow T Vagic gets four years of immunity. Not sure if that says more about Pinelli's stubborness or poor recruiting, but if there's not at least a competition next August, there should be mutiny on the SS Youngstown.

So, 365 more days have elapsed. Is NU any better off than it was after blowing a chance to win against South Carolina in last year's Capital One bowl? We know the answer, and so do you.

So, 13-14 more games of the awful era that is the Taylor Martinez Era -- complete with inflated statistics for losers and exactly zero meaningful wins.

So, where does the Pinelli Era stand? The best win of his NU tenure was against Clemson in his first season.....a season where NU beat a Tiger team with loads more talent by being smart, efficient and driven. That, in stark contrast to a team that steps on its dick more times than one can count. A team that is inefficient, sloppy and stupid. A team that inevitably rolls over when times get tough. A team with zero playmakers on defense. A team that, with a 'defensive guru' as head coach, gave up 80% of it's third-down conversions today and more than 1100 yards in its last two games.

So, who wants answers? We want answers. We want the truth. We can't handle the truth.

You're god damn right we can't......

Happy Fucking New Year.....


  1. I cared so little about this game and season that I took a nap when it was tied in the 3rd. I have no hope left in this team's direction with Bo and Taylor running things. Nice waking up to an extra $50 in the bank account though.

  2. NU did whatever they wanted....just didn't finish. Just like I used to fuck hot chicks in college, except I didn't put my dick in them.