Friday, August 5, 2011
In case you missed ESPN's ridiculous ticker last night, declaring that Tiger Woods was just seven shots off the lead and in 36th place: Woods has dropped to T-39 and is JUST NINE STROKES off the pace! If anyone can make a comeback like this, it's WOODS! Let's ignore the fact that his steroid-laced body is breaking down at a brisk pace and that he is 10 years past his prime.
Nevertheless, the Devil in Bristol ran three full minutes of Sportscenter highlights showing Woods' mediocrity before getting to the leaders' highlights. More proof that it's all about money and nothing about covering sports for the "Worldwide Leader." The highlights, of course, included Woods being a prick to media members who know he's delusional enough to think he can win the event and had the balls to ask him about it.
Further proof of ESPN's overblown sense of self-worht comes in this great article, courtesy of The Diggler. Real sports fans go elsewhere, why the casual fan stand in line for his serving of LeQueen, Tiger, Yankees/Sox, Tebow and the Patriots. BACK BACK BACK...GONE!
Speaking of Tim Tebow, PYB wishes him nothing but the best. But the fact that the Merril Hoge story became such a story is more proof of an ESPN-fueled media grab. Bottom line is that Tebow has no chance to become a long-term, successful NFL starter and should make his move to tight end now instead of later. Anyone who says he should start in Denver over Kyle Orton either knows nothing about football, is kidding himself, has the last name Tebow, or works for ESPN. We are just surpried Hoge is still employed by The Devil, since he told the truth.
Stay tuned for increasing PYB coverage as football nears. Sure, we could cover the Cubs' six-game win streak but don't have the energy. We'll offer our take on the Coaches' Top 25 poll and the Vegas season win total lines for college football. For now, we'll leave you with one of the Omaha World Herald links from Nebraska's fan day, where losers stretched 120 yards hoping to get autographs from overhyped Bubba Starling and daddy's boy Taylor Martinez.
The link we leave you with shows you the interviews of all this years pre-anointed 'leaders.' You can get a glimpse of their personalities, and that's about it, since every question is the same fluff you've heard 1000 times if you're over the age of 10.
The question we most wanted asked was of Austin Cassidy: "Austin, do you feel worse about the fact that you are wasting a scholarship that a deserving Division I player should actually have or that you lost your team the Big 12 Championship and a BCS berth with your Division-III level of safety play last December against Oklahoma?"
Finally, if you live in the Omaha area and are bored you can go to the Cox Classic and witness firsthand the Phoenix Open of the Nationwide Tour! There is now a TWIN PEAKS TENT! This is for people who think the overweight, white trash slut waitresses at Hooters are hot instead of what they truly are: single moms who spawned a couple illegitimate kids by age 20 and now are tapping the last half-ounce of their sex appeal for a few bucks of tips from blue-collar scums and fat, short-sleeve-dress-shirt-clad office workers who haven't seen pussy in 15 years who still find them desirable. After that, you can go to Costco, then PF Chang's then go see Boston at the Qwest Center!
And the answer to Tom Shatel's question is: if John Hurley can't make the cut at the Cox Classic, he ain't making the PGA Tour anytime soon. Hitting the ball 345 yards is commonplace on Tour and he's not destined for greatness because he's from Nebraska---shockingly enough. Shooting 70 on a pitch-and-putt course where 63 and 64 are routine won't get him there. But of course we wish him well.
All for now, have a nice weekend. PYB