Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Caught Slippin'

PYB welcomes in a guest columnist from the Arizona desert. Keeping in mind that this here blog was started as a collaborative effort, we welcome the input. Unfortunately for all our readers, it doesn't seem you're getting a glass-half-full viewpoint this time either. But let's all give a warm welcome to the Ghost of Todd Peat, as he takes center stage and tests his mettle. (FYI, forgive formatting errors below. BlogSpot sucks cock.) And yes, we let him fucking post here despite what may be construed as a sentence of support for Frank Solich. He also uses too many curse words for our taste.
Let's go:

Bo Pelini called Nebraska fans fair-weather. Get over it. This is not a reason to fire your coach. It isn’t icing on the cake. It isn’t the straw that broke the camel’s back. It is the truth.

As Nebraska fans we are spoiled. We’ve had 2 of the 5 most dominant teams of all time (95 and 83*) The media constantly brands us the classiest and most loyal fans in the country. Yet week after week and season after season we behave in such a way that embarasses the program. Yes, I would argue even more embarrassing than Pelini’s fuck-laced tirade.

Reasons why Nebraska fans embarrass the program worse than Pelini:

Evidence #1: Unreasonable expectations

2 years removed from a National Title berth, Frank ‘the rat’ Solich is fired with a 10-3 team. (Yes I am aware he didn’t coach the bowl game. We were so much better than Michigan State that win was a lock). We set a bad precedent firing a 10 win coach. The fans were discontent though, arguing that Solich was letting the program slip. Slip from what though?

Let’s remember that Nebraska’s run from 93-97 was one of, if not the single most, dominant run in college football history. We lost just 3 games in 5 seasons. This includes the missed FG in the 1994 Orange Bowl that prevented us from our 4th championship of the decade. (Alabama has lost 5 in their stretch of 5 year dominance). We went to 7 straight ‘BCS-caliber’ bowls from 91-97.

Yes, the program slipped. Of course it slipped. It was never going to remain that good. So frank was out the door… and Houston Nutt was here to save the day. Oh wait!? Our savior turned down the job. Could it be that nobody wants a job where you get fired with a 10 win season?

Evidence #2: Understanding the game: Yards don’t matter

Stop talking about giving up 600 yards. It makes us look stupid. Does anyone know how many yards Alabama gave up to Texas A&M? 628. It goes without saying Wyoming isn’t Texas A&M. The point remains. We are in a new era in football. The days of 3 yards and a cloud of dust are behind us. 28 teams are averaging over 500 yards a game right now, 70 over 400.

Baylor is leading the nation, currently averaging 735 yards per game. Last year they averaged 587 yards per game for the entire season. Teams gain more yards now. Teams run more plays now* Stop bitching about the yards. It’s about being competitive. It’s about wins.

Evidence #3: Oblivious to quality of talent required to win

Stop talking about the fucking walk on program. They are glorified practice players. Just stop. They fill gaps at punter or full back. We aren’t going to return to glory because we added 20 extra Nebraska corn-fed boys that run 5 second 40’s. The game is speed. Nebraskans’ don’t have it. (Editor's note: NU doesn't use 40-yard times. They don't "believe" in it. Fucking A."

Evidence #4: Don’t grasp basics of recruiting

Like it or not the game is recruiting and recruits like new uniforms. Nebraska fans suddenly act like Oregon is Nebraska-West because of Scott Frost. They have hundreds of options for game day if you include shoes, socks, face masks, pants, and jerseys. We have one black alternate uniform and the nebraska geezers think it is the apocalypse. 98% of Nebraska fans have never heard of twitter, but when the uniforms were released recruits were talking about them on twitter. That is a good thing.   

You can’t find one fucking black shirt in your closet for the game? Not one? Oh that’s right- Tom Osborne and Bob Devaney never had blackouts.The sea of red can be black for one game. Life will go on. (editor's note: their only black shirts are now gray from the hundreds of washings their 1994 National Champions tee shirts have endured)

Recruits thought process on memorial stadium last saturday: All black stadium:impressive Stadium half red/half black:not impressive.

Evidence #5: Wanting to fire Pelini this week because he insulted fans

The reason you want him gone is because he insulted you? This isn’t about you. This is about the team, this is about winning. The Nebraska fan that brings up Pelini insulting them are welcome to jump ship, go root for creighton (half of you do it during basketball season anyways). The reason Pelini’s job should be in question is his inability to win big games.  And for the record, fuck Nebraska fans that leave the game early. (Editor's note: NU would have lost by 30 points had Braxton Miller not been injured in this fucking game.)

Evidence #6: Its the 3rd game of the year

It is the 3rd game of the year. Nebraska fans and former players alike have made national news with their rumblings. Imagine how stupid we are going to look in 6 weeks. We play SDSU, Illinois, Purdue, and Minnesota. Barring any unforeseen disaster we will be 6-1. Nobody wants to coach for a school that throws a fit everytime they lose. In the weak Big 10 its not out of the question that we could win 10 games. How fucking stupid do we look complaining about/ firing another coach with a 10 win season? (Editor's note: NU made the national news again? Yay!)


I’m not a Pelini fan. Infact, I think it’s time for him to go. But the reasons people are giving make Nebraska look worse than our play on the field. Let’s pump the brakes. It is week 3. Let the season finish out and if he continues to put an inferior product on the field firing him makes sense. He is regularly out coached (Wyoming, UCLAx2, Wisconsnx3, OSU, Michigan, Northwestern). He regularly loses big games. He regularly gets blown out of big games. The reason Pelini should be gone is because he hasn’t won a single big game since he has been here. Not because he insulted you, not because he has alternate uniforms, not because his defense gave up 600 yards, and most importantly not because he isn’t TO or BD.

Nebraska fans need to grow up. This isn’t the 90’s. There is one coach in all of college football that is as good as TO and it is Nick Saban. He isn’t coming to Nebraska anytime soon. So get more realistic expectations.

But getting a new coach won’t fix all these problems. There is a systemic problem at Nebraska; the fans are cutting off the nose to spite the face. Our behavior as fans is needlessly self destructive. We have a backwards view of the way things work. We are spoiled. We have no concept of what it actually takes to recruit, compete, and win in the 21st century. Nebraska fans need to realize things have changed.

And just a side note: The names flying around the husker illustrated message board to replace Bo is a perfect depiction of just how out of touch we are (Editor's note: You have fucking problems if you read the HI Message Board. We got booted off all of those 15 years ago for telling the truth! And we have not heard of three of the coaches listed below):

  • James Franklin (Great institutional control- 4 players arrested on rape charges)

  • Gary Patterson (Fell apart after joining BCS conference)

  • Paul Rhoads (Is this a fucking joke?)

  • Craig Bohl (we really do think its the 90’s)

  • Troy Calhoun (does anyone still run the triple option?)

  • Bobby Hauck (7-34 in 4 years at UNLV)

  • Bobby Wilder (Old Dominion coach)
*For all those Nebraska fans that LOOOOVE Oregon. Their offense is perfect evidence: In 2003 they averaged 384 yards per game on 70.47 plays per game. In 2012 they averaged 540 yards per game on 80.61 plays. We see that not only are there more plays per game, there are more big plays.

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