Saturday, March 3, 2012

Frosting on the Beater

--LeQueen James and the Miami Heat cost PYB money last night in Utah. Her Highness is taking some heat for passing up a potential game-winning shot and passing to a wide-open Udonis Haslem. We have no problem with the play. Those who don't know basketball are raving about this one, however. Rather than forcing a bad shot, he did what MJ did when he finally learned that he had to rely on teammates to win rings. That said, his pass in the All-Star game's waning moments was a bitch move---no doubt about it. Eddie Johnson agrees.

--Former Denver Bronco and Okie State Cowboy Perrish Cox was acquitted on sexual assault charges. No biggie. But while scanning this story, as we do with most sports-turned-police-blotter items, we did double and triple-takes and are pretty sure they said the alleged victim (a woman) was said to have sex with Cox's girlfriend (also a woman). Now THIS is the part of the story that needs further investigation and reporting! Another sexual assault allegation...ho hum. Girl-on-girl action, baby mamas, DNA testing....let's hear it.

--The Omaha World-Herald's Dork Chatelain published the results of his very scientific, 128-person poll. Three times as many loser Nebraska fans would rather win a Big 10 football title than have its basketball team go to the Sweet 16. If that doesn't tell you how far the football program has fallen, nothing will. Aspiring to win a horrible football conference over being a Top 25 basketball team? Wow. Oh well, at least NU can still recruit cement-footed Ohio stiffs over speed demons from Texas and Florida, while also trying to secede from the rest of the college baseball union and any hopes of another College World Series appearance...ever. The Big 10 is turning out to be beneficial only in the accounting ledger. On the field, complete fucking nightmare.

--On an aside, if NU does go to play Southern Miss in New Orleans in 2013, we might violate our policy of not traveling to road games and our other policy of not attending another game in person until Taylorina Martinez is no longer the starting QB. At least in the Big Urinal, we could ease the pain of having to watch NU's tired lounge act for three hours and embarrassing fan base in person for 48 hours by keeping our BAC over .15 for the entire time. Any town that doesn't flinch when being swamped with both 'Bama and LSU fans in January and fat chicks flopping their tits everywhere for a week in February can certainly handle a few Husker Dorks in non-authentic Richman Gordman football jerseys for two days.

The policy violation is possible for a few reasons: cheap flights, excess hotel award points, never having been to NO and the fact that NU MAY have a chance to win this game since it's at a neutral site. We're sure Jeff Jamrog will fuck this up, however. He's already hedging by making excuses here.

--Some rough and tumble action in Houston last night, featuring a player twisting his ankle by stepping on a cameraman and Patrick Patterson taking a frightening spill at the 2:06 mark of this video. Fuck that.

--MLB adds a one-game knockout round? What a waste of time and money. Six months of regular season monotony can ride on three hours and nine more innings? If you're going to do it, make it at least a three-game series. Even the best baseball teams lose 40 percent of the time. Dominant teams lose 33 percent of the time. But this is Bud Selig, and it's a good idea for him. Remember, this is the dolt that pushed and passed the change giving World Series home-field advantage to the league that wins the MLB All Star Game. So, in theory, a team that went 162-0 could lose out on home field advantage to a shitty wild-card team that went 81-81. Worst fucking idea ever. Joke.

--Speaking of bad baseball teams, Nebraska lost to mighty West Virginia in Minneapolis Friday and fell to 4-4 on the season.

--Finally, speaking of Minneapolis, PYB would like extend its best wishes to Ken Sadler, as he coaches what is likely to be his last game as Nebraska basketball coach today at Minnesota. Doc's always done it the right way, and couldn't make icing out of the pile of shit Barry Collier gave him. We've always said NU would never get a better coach to come to Lincoln. We'll see if that holds true. With Tom Osborne in charge of the hire, we're not expecting much.

Either way, we're most concerned with whether we should bet the Golden Gophers -9.5. NU is beat up physically and mentally and can't score, especially with its only good player (Bo Spencer) hobbled. Minnesota is riding a six-game losing streak of its own and has lost seven of eight games. They beat NU 69-61 in the last game they didn't lose--a month ago. Will the Huskers provide Doc one last-gasp of joy, or will they take their bottle blasting like good road 'dogs while the Gophers make a final push to the NIT? We'll find out at 11:30 am CST, while we're on the golf course. Should we even DVR this nightmare?

All for now, enjoy the weekend....

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