Saturday, September 10, 2011

Two in the Pinkel

PYB is here to offer you all with some third-rate college football prognostications, in honor of the third-rate amenities at Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe. In case you can't make it out, that is a 16-inch Zenith TV in one of their 'luxury boxes.' Eyewitness reports have the Arizona State bandwagon celebrating the win over a middle-of-the-pack Big 12 team like it was 1996 and they were on the verge of blowing another national title chance. We offer you the recap of the momentous win from the Arizona Republic here--in a game that would be complete without some coaching gaffes by Missouri coach Gary Pinkel.

Anyway, let's get on with the show:

Fresno State at Nebraska (-28): After a week of taking heat about its lackluster performance against Chattanooga, NU will hold form with its up-and-down pattern and roll to a cover here. Cornhusker fans will be convinced that a 49-10 romp over a not-as-good-as-usual Bulldog squad puts Bo's boys back in the national title hunt. They'll also conveniently look past persistent poor play from the QB, OL and WRs. Either way, a revenge game against the 'Mighty UW Huskies' looms next week.

Notre Dame (-3) at Michigan: We are on the Wolverines. PYB has no clue how the Irish are favored in this road contest. The loss to South Florida was not a fluke, to be certain, as ND has consistently proven its ineptitude the last 15 years. If UM can provide at least some resistance on defense, they should be able to post enough points for a win. Take Michigan +130 on the money line.

Oregon State at Wisconsin (-20.5): Don't bet this, and the Badgers win 57-17. Bet it, UW cruises 37-17 and misses a crucial extra point for the second straight week.

Iowa (-6.5) at Iowa State: Despite not looking good at home last week vs. Tennessee Tech, the Hawkeyes are the pick here. Iowa State barely got by UNI's Panthers, which is better than they've done in the past against the outfit from Cedar Falls. That said, the 'Clones will always be the Clowns and should take their yearly bottle blasting today in Ames. It's the only thing they ever done......

Mississippi State (-6) at Auburn: Is War Eagle as bad as it looked last week against Utah State? Who knows, but bettors should avoid this game at all costs. MSU is feeling the weight of expectations and money will be heavy on them after Auburn's near-loss last week. Coin flip.

Northern Illinois (-4) at Kansas: Kansas is a home 'dog to a MAC (we think) team. Anyone else glad that NU took Bo Pelini over Turner Gill?

UTEP at SMU (-19.5): The only reason to make a wager on this game is if you've had 15 Coors Lights and are down $800 for Saturday or just need a reason to watch the late action. Feel free to bet either team and watch them fall down by 14 points within five minutes of kickoff. Fun times.

Cincinnati (+4.5) at Tennessee: Kirk Herbstreit has this as his upset special. Since the game doesn't involve Ohio State or ESPN telling him who to pick, we say roll with it.

Alabama (-10) at Penn State: PYB can't decide which way to side on this game. PSU's two-headed QB situation has to be on the verge of a meltdown. Bama's defense could be in store for a big effort and a vintage Tide blowout game of 23-10 that features two defensive TDs and a third set up by an interception at the one-yard line. UA puts up 136 total yards enroute to a 'dominant' victory and a top three ranking. There could be some money-line parlay value in the Nittany Lions at +290, however.

BYU at Texas (-7): Desmond Howard called BYU his upset alert against the so-so Longhorns. The only problem is that they didn't play that well last week at Ole Miss and won due to gifts from the Rebels. Texas explodes offensively and takes it 24-6.

If these pigs aren't enough for you today, we'll be back tomorrow morning with some Week One NFL boars.

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