Saturday, September 17, 2011

Pig Farm

Here are our weekly prognostications, after pulling some lucky, late winners both Saturday and Sunday last week to break even:

-Michigan State +5.5 at Notre Dame: What are we missing here? The Spartans have rolled in their first two games, and the Irish have lost to two bad teams. The money line of +170 is tremendous fodder for parlays. Cash for everyone.

-Washington +17 at Nebraska: How many years will NU receive too much credit from the Las Vegas oddsmakers? It's possible the Cornhuskers could break loose and cover, but we're betting that T-Wat will lay it on the turf a few times and keep the Huskies close. If Alfonzo Dennard sits another game, UW should be able to pick on NU's poor safeties and linebackers enough to put up some points.

-Illinois -2 over Arizona State: The Scum Devils lucked out at home last week thanks to Gary Pinkel being Gary Pinkel. They are historically awful on the road. Ron Zook will piss intensity all game and lead the Illini to a big win over a soft ASU defense. (500 yards given up to Mizzou last week).

-Oklahoma -3 at Florida State: We think Landry Jones sucks, but we're not sold on Free Shoes U yet.

Who the Hell Knows

-Auburn at Clemson (-4): No clue on the result, but we know the players will be undisciplined and the coaching will be bad.

-Pitt at Iowa (-3): The Hawkeyes looked bad last week. Iowa State dominated them all game and would have run away with the game if not for multiple turnovers. This game could feature more than 18 starters who couldn't run a sub-4.9-second 40-yard dash.

-Texas -3.5 at UCLA: A pillow fight of epic proportions. We'd rather take a handjob from Brad Faxon than have money on this game.

-Syracuse at USC (-15): Can USC cover 15 against anybody right now? Can anyone safely wager on the Trojans after the most crooked gambling fix in years last week? TD gone...oh wait, we'll add it again the next morning when Vegas calls us.

-Ohio State (-2) at Miami: Marquee matchup by name. Boring game in reality. Players on these teams are better at accepting cash from boosters and getting their dicks sucked by whores than they are at playing football. Bet at your own risk. Having money on Jacory Harris is a miserable fucking experience.

-Utah at BYU (-6.5): Both schools had near misses against big-name teams last week. The only thing certain is that these schools hate each other.

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