Wednesday, January 26, 2011

How Bout Them Hawkeyes?


--Is it safe to say that Iowa is the most fucked up football program in the nation? Players living in drug houses, DUIs, marijuana arrests, players passed out sleeping in parking lots.....now this.

Kidney conditions for 12 PLAYERS don't seem to match up to a 'strenuous workout.' It seems more like gross mismanagement by some soon-to-be-fired strength & conditioning coach.

--PYB makes its initial and hopefully last foray into current events today, as it provides some commentary on the Food and Drug Administrations's latest attempt to save the world. God forbid consumers have to turn the box or can of food sideway to read the information. God forbid that parents actually parent and monitor what their fatass kids eat. And god forbid that those parents go to the gym or take a walk around the block.

--PYB also is proud to be an Arizona resident and contribute to this program. Once again, these leeches are too proud to send their kids to public school but aren't too proud to take the public's tax money. Can't we request our tax dollars be sent to more traditional outlets, like funding health care for illegal aliens?

--We also hope our readers don't quit tuning into PYB, as President Obama gave a 'rousing' State of the Union address last night and urged everyone to cheer for the winner of the science fair as much as they do for the winner of the Super Bowl. One problem: you can't gamble on the science fair---at least not online.

And doesn't he know that jocks rule and nerds lose? It's evolution...survival of the fittest. And doesn't he know we outsourced education and science achievement to China & India a long time ago, giving them control of the United States' future?

To contribute to the country's bottom line, Americans must monitor every step made by D-List celebrities, glue themselves to the TV to watch the latest half-talent on American Idol and strive to be the next Kardashian whore. That boring stuff like knowledge is left to foreigners.

--Now back to the important shit...sports. And Queen James providing us another exhibition of his separation from reality when he states that Blake Griffin's game reminds him of Shawn Kemp and Karl Malone. Actually, he's like neither but we'll let QBJ alone in his own, clouded world. Malone's game thrived off the pick and roll and making his 18-foot jumper (one-trick pony) while throwing elbows whenever he got tested by a defender. And Kemp was perhaps the game's most exciting dunker ever, as this hammer job over Alton Lister makes very clear. Reign Man.

--We're also glad to see ESPN anchors know sports and are concerned with reporting the facts more than the hyperbole. One anchor this morning repeatedly called Dallas point guard JJ Barea, Barrera....this right before they ran the "Is 2011 the Year of the Tiger" segment. The Year of the Tiger? Based on the fact he didn't win a tournament in 2010? Sounds about right.

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