Thursday, May 2, 2013

Hit 'Em Up

Coolin' on the corner with the cellular phone....PYB jumps in for some rapid fire shots while seeing that even Jeremy Lin succumbed to the nerd-glasses phenomenon last night in Oklahoma City -- and proving that all of sports is in bigger trouble than we have suspected:

--The picture included in today's post shook our confidence while on vacation. After landing in Hawaii we could not decide: was high tops the new style on the islands or did a tour from Nebraska arrive just before us?

--Speaking of the NBA playoffs, Chris Webber is taking a ton of shots on Twitter for his poor game-analyst skills. He may not be Hubie Brown, but is he really that bad? Seems solid to us, but ever since his timeout game at Bitchigan, he's been an easy target for critics -- in a Phil Mickelson kind of way.

--Chris Paul is strutting around and leading another come-frome-ahead playoff meltdown for his team. After leading Memphis 2-0, the Clippers have dropped three in a row and have to travel across the country for game six against the Grizzlies. Let's call Chicken Little and her pretty eyelashes what she is, the Atlanta Braves of the NBA. Los Angeles can rack up hundreds of dunks during regular-season play and brag about its depth because Grant Hill sits on the end of its bench, but they have no go-to scorer in a half-court set and Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan can make television commercials and highlights but can't make free throws. Sounds just like the New Orleans team that Paul led in 2008 that pissed away a 2-0 lead versus another more fundamentally sound team -- the San Antonio Spurs.

--Two interesting points came to us from this version of Dirk Chatelain's Mad Chatter:
  1. 1. Michigan players are saying they would have beaten Nebraska last year had Devin Gardner started instead of Denard Robinson. Wrong. Michigan had Nebraska on the ropes until Robinson was injured, then the tide turned. Nobody forced supercoach Brady Hoke and his bacon-neck undershirt to put in the wrong scrub backup quarterback. Of course, NU is an easy target these days for hyperbole like this -- in a Chris Webber kind of way.
  2. A discussion of how good LeQueen James would have been in the NFL. Likely from the same folks who told us Tiger Woods could have been a Navy SEAL or played cornerback in the league. So, you're telling me that one of the mentally weakest stars in NBA history was going to dominate the most ferocious and unforgiving professional league in the world? OK. Would he get to play with 21 hand-picked teammates?
--The 'new' Cubs owner is threatening to move the team out of Wrigley Stadium if he doesn't get his way during an upcoming renovation. Dear Mr. Ricketts, we have been Cub fans for almost 30 years and the only remaining draw to this team is Wrigley itself. The Cubs are irrelevant. The fact that they're never on WGN anymore makes this so. The fact that the on-field product has been deplorable for five years (or 100 years) makes this so. The fact the the team was four games out of FOURTH place before April 2013 was over makes this so. This just in: the stands have been packed for decades. Attendance isn't the problem, and either is the lack of a huge video board. Just ask Nebraska. The bigger NU's video presence get, the more the team sucks. Maybe building a Runza and a Valentino's inside Wrigley will cure all that ills the North Siders.

--Last night's Knicks-Celtics games ended with a verbal altercation, and Deadspin saying that Jordan Crawford may have mentioned Kevin Garnett fucking Carmelo Anthony's wife. That, of course, reminds us of this classic line from 2Pac. Anyhow, what doesn't say professional about dressing in all black before the game to signify 'Boston's funeral' (days after the deadly bombings) and then getting in a war of words after tanking a chance to close out the Celtics at home? Topping off the festivities was Kenyon Martin playing tough guy when asked about the dress-in-black act by a reporter after the game. Guess we are supposed to cower in fear when an aging role player with a tattoo of lips gives the stare down. Stop Snitchin, Melo....

--The Nebraska football team had two players drafted. One in the sixth round, and one in the seventh. The prospects for next year are worse. We're fine. Seriously, though, good luck to Rex Burkhead in Cincinnati. The Bengals may have worse management than the Huskers.

--Fear not, though, the team recently ran through a second-session of military-style training. What doesn't say 'increased mental toughness' like using gimmicks to improve and then giving up 63 and 70 points to Ohio State and Wisconsin? The good news is that this year's session was land-based, so perhaps the instructors taught a player or two how to run.

--Oh yeah, NU didn't get a prime time ABC game for the 2013 season. Should help recruiting. Notre Dame vs. Purdue did make the cut, though.

--The Big Ten changed its divisions, and everyone is blowing their collective load about the new division of 'power'. Hello, the whole conference fucking sucks so it doesn't matter how the powers-that-be split the 14 teams. Hopefully, NU has stockpiled enough B1G linebackers so that it can compete in the conference's rugged week-to-week battles.

That's all we have for now.....we just finished Hank Haney's book, 'The Big Miss,' and have some thoughts on that. When we have time to collect those thoughts, we'll be back to laugh about what a pussy Haney is.

Enjoy your Thursday, we have to go fight with fuckers at work and request that they do their fucking jobs, before they act incredulous that we are holding them to a standard of success.....
our company is fine....

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