Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Gross Pointe Mismanagement

PYB awakes on this fine Election Day 2012, not sure if we're more excited about the fact that our great nation has two tremendous presidential candidates to choose from or that the Nebraska football team FINALLY has a CLUTCH quarterback after many years without one. We'll decide by day's end on that one, as the nation's voters decides our course for the next for years -- a Muslim who has dazed supporters with a good personality and free shit or a Mormon with the personality of a cardboard box.

--Taylor Martinez is clutch. We'll put him right up there with Michael Jordan as far as delivering in crunch time. Seriously, what about 160 yards passing and three back-breaking interceptions doesn't scream All-American? What's more -- his heroics have come against completely mediocre teams that have dropped game-clinching interceptions and nullified game winning interceptions returns with stupid penalties. PYB must admit, however, that he is fucking lucky. Lucky to beat both Northwestern and Michigan State on the road after awful three-quarter performances.

Perhaps he looks like a leprechaun for a reason. Anyone that can throw three picks and get away with a backhanded shovel pass across traffic and then not lose a fumble after fumbling and then trying to later scoop the ball up and run with it instead of just jumping on the fucking thing must have a horseshoe up his ass -- and stuff. In fact, that play alone says it all about Taylorina -- he's amazingly lucky and amazingly stupid.

--PYB loves the nuggets Tom Shatel gave us today:

1. Ron Brown is incredulous that fans expected him to use Braylon Heard or Imani Cross against the Spartans Saturday. Cross is no good, so we're not concerned as much about that. But Heard has shown great potential this season and got zero plays. We're not buying the shit about him being an "inside runner." He's adept at bouncing it outside too. Either way, what's wrong with the Diamond formation that utilized three backs at once? Was averaging 12 yards a play too successful for Tim Beck to use over the long term?

2. Exciting news: NU gets to get bottle blasted by Oklahoma nine years from now. Can't wait.

3. Great joke about 'Bama vs. Kansas City. We don't hear that one every season.

4. "My wife won't let me gamble." Grow some balls, Tom.

--We tried reading this feel-good story, but the author's butchering of the high school's name (Queens Creek instead of Queen Creek) made it impossible. Is it that hard to fact check?

--Spin City: More on how Cameron Meredith got so fat that they have to move him to defensive tackle. Defensive line coach allegedly had to teach him how to battle "600 pounds of double teams." We already know he's well-versed at battling five pounds of baby back ribs.

Well, we're off to travel for work.....not much else to say....our time is crunched and criticisms abbreviated, because ESPN2 sucks and didn't record the NU vs. MSU game on the proper channel. It's easier to see just how back Nebraska's coaching and game management is on DVR.

Anyway, enjoy four more years of Socialism. If you're lazy and shortsighted, or rich and trying to help 'change' the world, then this Bud's for you.... FYI, the Democrats are -360 in Vegas right now.

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