The Jabba Rules...

Reason number 500 why kids today are soft....Mark Mangino is in hot water because he "poked a player in the chest"? Parents are getting involved in college sports? In college, there are two choices: suck it up or leave. This is Division I football... PYB thinks he scared his players by eating too many live frogs out of his fish bowl, like he did in Return of the Jedi.

And then we're blessed with this gem, from Jason Whitlock, who creates stupid viewpoints just to show you how ahead of the curve he is. He wore out the race card years ago, so now he's going to the fat card.

NCAA Hoops Notes...

1. As if ESPN's Bracketology wasn't an utterly pointless exercise in January, February or March (worse than anything this side of NFL mock drafts), it has gotten worse. The Network is currently running the predicted top four seeds in each NCAA region on its ticker--one game into the season. As if guessing the 64 entrants wasn't irrelevant enough, they're going to also tell us which region these teams will play in?

Thanks....I can sleep better tonite. ESPN = The Devil.

2. Iowa is terrible. After losing by 12 at home to Texas-San Antonio last weekend, they proved their 5/27 effort from downtown wasn't a fluke. Every three-point shot is a brick. Not just a miss...but thud, then fall off the side of the rim as they lose to Duquesne (pronounced Duke-a-neez if you're an expert) at Carver tonite. No offense, Mr. Stemm.

3. Who the hell designed the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup/Bud Light court for the Kansas-Memphis game? It's so bad we like it. Kansas up early 18-17. No way they cover 10.5 if you bet it. If you don't, KU wins 101-70.

Tuesday Thoughts...

---Why are we subjected to another story about Patrick Witt's arrogance? Thoughts on this pansy:

1. PYB says his reason for transferring has more to do with him getting crushed against Clemson (the picture above is right before he got smoked) and nearly blowing the Gator Bowl than it did with his newfound love of academic rigor at Yale. We think Patrick got a true taste of Division I football and realized he wasn't up to the task. PYB, Patrick.

2. Why is there no mention of him losing his starting job at Yale? Maybe that's why he's 'gained anonymity', even as a football player. Because he sucks.

3. If he didn't want the attention of being an NU football player, why would he transfer between several high schools, like an egomaniacal baby without parents to smack some sense into him, until he found a place to play?

4. PYB feels sorry for anyone who thinks the college they attend makes them. College is what you make of it...on your own...no title or bullshit status will give you the golden ticket. We think that Warren Buffett did just fine after attending UNL. Maybe not as well as Eric Crouch, swingset salesman, but he did OK.

5. His assertion that some of his Yale teammates could play at Nebraska is just sour grapes. Maybe they could have played during the Santino Panico era, but no longer. Hell, he couldn't even make the field, that's why he left.

6. Maybe he did need more of a challenge academically, we do know that people who have airline pilots as parents are generally geniuses.

7. Finally, we were blessed with all the bullshit about him applying for an honors major in "Ethics, Politics and Economics" and that he is taking classes on the Political Philosophy of Abraham Lincoln, Readings in American Literature, and History of the French Revolution. Do you mean classes they offer at UNL, only with fancier titles?

This all reminds me of the scene in Good Will Hunting, where the fag from Harvard rambles on about the Keynesian economy. Well, hopefully, Witt pays attention in economics--because paying $47,000 a year for something you can get for free at the public library doesn't seem real economical here at PYB. How 'bout them apples?

---NU is supposedly discussing at least one football game with Boise State. Good. The games against teams like FAU are worthless.

---Last night's MNF game may have been the worst I've ever seen. No scoring in the first half. One offensive TD all game. Brady Quinn at QB, missing four-yard passes like he was Zac Lee. I was the one begging my wife to put in a movie, to no avail.

Rock, Chalk, Enjoy Basketball Season Jayhawks...

PYB apologizes for the lateness of this recap, but we were out of town last weekend and too hungover to this point to comment on the Cornhuskers' come-from-behind win at Kansas Saturday. We would like to dedicate this column to Andy in Ohio for whining enough to motivate us to put it on paper. Let's go back to the A-F grading scale...

Quarterback--B+
This is not your father's B+. This is a B+ when considering how shitty Zac Lee had been before this game. He actually completed a few passes....or should I say jump balls to Niles Paul? Actually, it is amazing how running the ball and using play action passes can even help the shittiest/slowest receivers get open. The option pass was nice. The option, where he fired the ball at Roy Helu like Nolan Ryan for the second straight game, was not. Maybe this spark of confidence will help NU open up the offense. Or maybe they will start Cody Green, since there has been no rhyme or reason to the QB rotation to this point.

Running back--A-
Roy Helu closed another game, somehow turning the corner on the go-ahead touchdown. Then he added another for good measure. He looked a bit tentative when finishing runs in the first 3.5 quarters, but when it mattered, he went hard and got to the end zone. The only reason this is an A-, is because he seemingly missed a few cutback holes early in the game. But given how many assignments his line blows and the fact that his shoulder clearly still hurts, we'll cut him a break.

Offensive line--B-
Two nice drives at the end. But still too many missed assignments. Drive killers. They gave Lee enough time to pass for the most part. It was great to see Bo Pelini tearing into Barney Cotton's ass. Hopefully, they fire him. But likely, they'll sign his daughter to a full-ride scholarship to play a position to be named later.

Wide Receiver--B+
Since only Niles Paul really impacted the game, we'll give him a decent grade for winning the jump balls he got. Four for 154 is a nice number. Brandon Kinnie had a great one-handed catch. Next mission: get open consistently followed by catch a ball in stride.

Defensive Line--C+
This C+ is relative to the line's performance prior to this game. Not a lot of game-breaking plays, but this unit can't do it every day. And Ndamukong Suh was double-teamed constantly. If NU had at least one true impact defensive end, it would open up the DTs tremendously. This could be a concern in a bowl game against a top-15 team. Reesing showed that with his 54 rushing yards, most coming from scrambles when receivers weren't open.

Linebacker--B
Phillip Dillard wasn't as omnipresent as he was the past two weeks, but a solid effort. Nothing great here, but nothing terrible. In fact, Dillard is the only one rated here, since NU rarely plays another backer. Matthew May was the only other LB to record 0.5 tackle, and that was on special teams.

Defensive Backs--B
The vivid memory will be the fact that Dejon Gomes and Eric Hagg gave up a lot of completions on crossing routes and slants. But the bottom line is, with an experienced QB (not great, but experienced) and above-average receivers, these are hard to stop. Surprisingly, Reesing was only 19/41 for 236 yards. The longest completion was 28 yards. So hardly a great day, but once again, the defense was in control of the game. The offense took its usual nap, but this time it was shorter than usual---2.5 quarters.

Gomes, Alfonzo Dennard, Prince Amukamara and Hagg were NU's top four tacklers. Larry Asante won't be missed next year. Either will Matt O'Hanlon, unless you're a 70-year-old farmer who still believes Frank Solich got screwed when he got axed. It is nice to see DBs that can cover and also can come up and hit someone.

Special Teams--B
Pluses: Niles Paul's kickoff return, Tim Marlowe's kickoff return (how easily would Deion Sanders have scored that ball?), and Alex Henery's three field goals. PYB is just thankful he didn't have to try that 52-yarder to take the lead.

Minuses: As usual, punting sucked. Averaging 38.8 yards will eventually bite you in the ass. With another subpar effort, NU fell to 100th in the nation in net punting. Let's hope someone can take over for Henery next season.

In this day & age, any road win in conference is a good one. The positive is that we walk away thinking the defense played poorly, but NU surrendered only 349 yards and won by 14 points on the road. The offense will get a lot of credit for waking up, but the fact they didn't get a TD, just FGs, in the 2nd and 3rd quarters is concerning. But, the Cornhuskers have a chance to give a big F YOU to Rabbit Teeth Snyder on Saturday and punch their ticket to Dallas. The game is extremely winnable. But as we learned against ISU, this team can't just show up and win. But with two more weeks to go, the mantra is: Just win, baby......somehow.

NFL Notes

1. Enough of the Bill Belichick conversation. It was a brutal call, bottom line. One made by someone so weird, that who knows what the hell he was thinking. Anyone giving the "I agree with the call. In the NFL you have to take games by the balls and win them! FUCK YEAH!", is an idiot. Maybe on the 40 yard line....maybe. On the 28, hell no. People saying this was a good call are just contrarians trying to show how smart they are with their eternally alternate viewpoint. However, do I want to hear any more about this game? No. Maybe Belichick was temporarily insane thinking about the rackasaurus in this picture.

2. How is Maurice Jones-Drew getting props for his kneel-down against the Jets yesterday? You simply must take the points if you are behind. Too many variables exist. Cincinnati missed an extra point yesterday--nothing is a given. With NYJ out of timeouts and their rookie QB sucking....put it in the end zone, go for two, and give it to your defense to close.

This is not the same as Brian Westbrook a few years back. The Eagles had the lead when he did it, so sports radio hacks, please stop extolling MJD as some sort of visionary for his play. Anyway, with the Jags at 5-4 and trailing both Pittsburgh and San Diego for the wild cart slot, the whole issue is irrelevant.

3. The fact that Donovan McNabb threw the ball 55 times in a loss to San Diego is ludicrous. The dink and dunk offense has got to go, but without a legitimate stud WR, it never will. And with Westbrook out with a concussion, again, the run game will surely suck for weeks to come. Desean Jackson is a speed receiver. Jeremy Maclin is a rookie, and just a speed guy. Jason Avant has two good games a year. The Eagles have had ONE true number-one wideout in the last 15 years for ONE season....and they made the Super Bowl. PYB loves Andy Reid, but something has to change here.

4. Tonite's MNF matchup is so bad, I'm giving it up to collect points by having movie night with my wife.

5. Larry Johnson to visit Cincy. What the hell for? The Bengals got lucky with one castoff RB in Cedric Benson, why push your luck with a malcontent (translation: douchebag) who has fucked up KC's team chemistry for years?

Pic of the Day

1995 It Is...Herbstreit It's PYB...

Are the 2009 Blackshirts a great defense? In today's age of watered-down competition--absolutely. But anyone who says it compares to NU defenses of the past, as this OWH article examines, it's PYB.

Most amazing, is some detail that is in the print edition only. First, the stats...then, the really telling info to follow:

2009
Total yardage--274
Rush--94.4
Pass--179.6
Scoring--10.3 ppg

2003
Listed in OWH but a complete fucking joke. Got blasted by every decent team played.

1999 (Brown, Brown, Craver, et al...Solich still fucked this up vs. Texas)
Total--252.3
Rush--77.1
Pass--175.2
Scoring--12.5

1995 (Wistrom, Minter, Peter, Farley, Booker, Williams, Williams, Peter, Rucker)
Total--294.1 (every game was over by the 2Q and backups played regularly)
Rush--78.4
Pass--215.7
Scoring--13.6

So there are the numbers, we should remember that the starters for the 1995 squad probably played 2 quarters max in 75% of their games. All but one victory that year was by more than three touchdowns. Amazingly, 15 players from that defense played a combing 88 seasons in the NFL. FIFTEEN! A player from every slot on the preseason depth chart played at least three seasons in the NFL. Mike Minter had 10, Wistrom and Rucker had nine. Every starter but one played in the league.

This team had that next gear. When they took the field, you had a sense they would make something happen. They were a threat to score points at any time. This montage of Terrell Farley (the only starter to not play in the NFL, ironically) is proof. The 2009 Blackshirts can't say that.

So, Kirk Herbstreit, go ahead and tell me now that 2001 Miami would beat 1995 Nebraska because the 'Canes offense would exploit the NU defense. PYB, you ESPN puppet. Ken Dorsey was a stiff at QB....we saw what he did against NFL-level talent. He was the broke man's Matt Leinart!! Jeremy Shockey....all mouth, no substance. Andre Johnson, best receiver in the NFL, but one man doesn't beat 15. And sure, the 'Canes had great RBs, but with two NFL CBs on the outside and Minter at safety...that leaves eight more to shut down the run game. PYB!