Sunday, August 28, 2016

Clearing Our Throat

PYB was asked yesterday if we planned to do a season preview. Not likely, we replied. Even less likely this morning.

  • Less likely, because how would one ever compete with this gem by Tom Shatel?
  • To back up that masterpiece, the Omaha World-Herald sports staff wasted its down time between NFL mock drafts to make these predictions about Nebraska's 2016 football season.
  • PYB is not going to stand for national anthems in games involving Colin Kaepernick. Everyone's favorite Blaine Gabbert backup has been oppressing gamblers and football fans since he was a bad quarterback at Nevada. We believe the furor is not as much about the stance that he took, but more about the fact that he's so fucking stupid he has no idea what he's protesting. We're sure Kaepernick has done all he can as a social activist up to this point, including donating millions to black communities nationwide, and this was a last resort to bring attention to his cause.....right? Right?
  • Tony Romo injured again - Is any commentary necessary? 
  • Got 20 more minutes to waste? Read this surface piece by Sam McKewon. It includes the same cliche characterizations of NU Head Coach Mike Riley, thankfully fewer 50-cent words than normal from McKewon but enough Macromedia Flash to make your computer shit all over itself. (Random request from PYB to websites across the country: Spend less time making fancy presentations, since they don't work worth a damn on laptops or mobile devices and more time on developing compelling content.
  • NU has received a commitment from the 19th tight end in the last two years. Maybe the coaching staff will use this one before the sixth loss of his junior season.
  • DJ Kool came to Nebraska's Bonedance Bash yesterday. Were the Baha Men booked already? 
  • Freshman receiver Derrion Grim quit. PYB translation: smallish receiver already losing reps to another freshman = not as good as advertised, scared to compete, likely more scared to block and/or play physically enough to survive in the rugged Big 14 = quit and run home before resurfacing at Sacramento State in 2017. #perseverance
  • If you've had enough of meaningless content, dive in to real facts and figures with this hard-hitting piece
If none of the links above are enough to impress you, the OWH has rolled about 77 other links into its less-than-stunning college football preview. PYB's preview: Vegas has set NU's season win total at 8.5. Knowing the Cornhuskers' penchant to block poorly against good teams and to play bad defense and to rely too much on a quarterback with reliability issues, we're taking the unders at +105.

For the 2016 season, we'll try to be more reliable about posting than non-captain Tommy Armstrong is on a fourth-quarter drive. No guarantees. For now, we've got to go. ESPN Sportscenter is on, and so far we've learned that some guy won his UFC fight last night by using a Guillotine Choke and that the World Wide Leader has never seen a PGA professional use the toe of a putter from greenside rough. Apparently, the same producers that included such a feat in today's Top 10 plays are the same that are mesmerized by every one of Queen James' one-hand slam dunks. Anyone having trouble visualizing the aforementioned putting technique can refer to the GIF that came up during an actual Google images search.

For now, we're gone.


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