Holy Shit...

Anyone with doubts about whether Shawn Watson should be fired, take a look at the tidbit below, from the OWH's Dirk Chatelain...

Since 2000, Watson has been an offensive coordinator nine seasons in the Big 12. At Colorado (2000 to ’05), and at Nebraska (2007 to ’09). His standing in the Big 12 offensive rankings:

• ’00: 8th in total offense, 10th in scoring offense

• ’01: 2nd, 4th

• ’02: 9th, 9th

• ’03: 9th, 8th

• ’04: 9th, 9th

• ’05: 8th, 9th

• ’07: 5th, 8th

• ’08: 6th, 6th

• ’09: 11th, 8th

Longhorn Magic...

If you thought Sooner Magic had Nebraska riddled in the 1980s, then Longhorn Magic has the Cornhuskers completely mystified. Somehow, this perennially soft, underachieving Texas team keeps finding ways to beat a game Nebraska team. Almost every time, it's been a self-inflicted wound. This time, it was Adi Kunalic's inexplicable kick out of bounds. He's never done that before, probably never will again. The main question is, was he told to kick at the corner or did he just pull a Byron Bennett?

Amazing is the word to describe this game. Amazing describes all of the following:

-Ndamukong Suh
-Nebraska's defense
-Zac Lee's ineptitude
-NU's offensive line ineptitude
-Shawn Watson's ineptitude
-NU's overall offensive ineptitude
-The fact that Nebraska almost won without a functioning offense
-Texas' arrogant gameplan
-The fact that the 'horse collar' penalty is in the rule book at all
-Adi Kunalic's final kickoff

So as we go down the list:

1. Suh--12 tackles, 4.5 sacks, seven tackles for loss, 2 QB hurries. A purely dominating performance. One of the best PYB has seen. Tossing around a supposed Heisman candidate like it was nothing. All to be lost due to one piss-poor kick. Suh didn't even receive a mention on ESPN Sunday, as the network's four 'experts' put in their Heisman choices. Two even picked McCoy and his three INTs to win. Money talks.

2. The Blackshirts--Dominated a supposed top-five team all night on defense. The front four sacked McCoy nine times, Phillip Dillard was all over the place and the DBs were for the most part flawless. Gomes, Amukamara and Dennard showed they could play against any offense in the country. This team almost beat a third-ranked Longhorn team on its own, with NO help from its offense. NONE.

3. Lee--Simply horrible. What has he done the last four games that Cody Green couldn't be doing by now? Handing off? Running options for no gain? Throwing INTs? Granted, he didn't have many open receivers, but his complete lack of touch ruins most the chances NU does have on passing plays. His rocket ball at Roy Helu Saturday almost cost NU another pick. The bad part, he's only a junior and there's no evidence he'll be unseated.

4. Offensive Line--Horrible too. Blown assignments. No drive off the ball. No fire. Barney Cotton must go.

5. Watson--Horrible, part III. Obviously, he doesn't have that many tools to work with, but his inopportune play calls continually haunt the Cornhuskers. Twice in the first quarter, on third & short, he goes deep rather than try to move the chains with a run or short pass. No rhythm, no insight, nary a trick play, never the sense that he could outfox the opposing coach...just once! Is it time for Mark Mangino in Lincoln?

6. Offense--Sure, this isn't the 1999 St. Louis Rams, or even the 2008 Cornhuskers. But there is enough ability on offense to be at least a bad offense. This one is purely nonexistent. With Burkhead, Helu, McNeill, and Paul, the offense should at least be able to put up 17 points. So who's responsible? The line or the OC? Or both? You decide.

7. Texas--Stupid or arrogant? Arrogant or stupid? Texas came out and tried to do what they always do.....which is usually beat up creampuffs and struggle versus real teams. But why, outside of complete arrogance, would the Longhorns not target the weakness that Colorado exposed last week. NU was clearly an average defense when CU had their base package in and were forced to play Sean Fisher and Will Compton. But not once did UT force NU to play them, they allowed the Blackshirts to sit in their dime & nickel packages all game, where they are virtually impenetrable.

Mack Brown....can recruit with the use of all that Texas money and amenities, but as a game coach, well below average. Probably closer to bad. And, despite his 'say all the right things about respecting the opponent' act, he's a wolf in sheeps clothing. Just buttering up the other side as he racks up another undeserved win. Just like Bobby Bowden in the 1990s. And, the smug prick had the nerve to tell ESPN Sunday morning that he thought they should have gotten two seconds put back on the clock instead of one. How about none, Mack? Tell us how Nick Saban's dick tastes the first week of January...

8. According to the rule, Larry Asante's 15-yard horse collar penalty was the right call. But why the fuck is this even a rule? It was put in two years ago because Terrell Owens broke his ankle on a similar play. PYB has never seen a player seriously hurt on that type of play before or after. This is a man's game, not soccer. Players get injured. If the softened up public can't take it, there's always figure skating to watch.

9. What the hell happened on the final kickoff? Was Kunalic told to target the corner? Did he just choke? If a coach had him going for the corner, he should be fired on the spot. Even the most casual fan has seen 50 games pissed away by getting cute with a kickoff. It would have been better to lose on a 99-yard kickoff return than the Mickey Mouse drive UT had, with ONE 19-yard completion being all they needed to get into FG range. Texas hadn't gotten past the 25-yard line all night on a return.

And so, the magic continues. Or, should we say, NU continues to step on its own collective dick. The Holiday Bowl is a nice finish to the season, which had NU four points away from a 12-1 record. But the Fiesta was there, within reach. The wait for a return to relevance continues...

Championship Saturday Notes...

Starting with a definite non-championship outfit--Notre Dame. Their arrogance has hit an amazing high for at least the second time PYB can recall, as the Irish decline a bowl bid due to "unique circumstances." Let's go over what those unique circumstances might be, since the Domers didn't bless us with an explanation:

1. Your team is no good, and would suffer the likely indignity of losing in the Humanitarian Bowl. In this case, just act like that bowl game is beneath you.

2. A 1-9 record in your last 10 bowl games (with the one win being the lollipop they got tossed vs. Hawaii last season)

3. The ludicrous TV contract with NBC (is there any wonder why NBC is #4 in network standings?) pays you so much that the few hundred grand you might get for the game isn't worth the time? Well, ND would likely lose a bit of money, but lord knows the program needs the exposure and extra practice time. This extra time might allow the Irish the fine-tuning it needs to take out the likes of Navy and UConn. And the exposure might sway a recruit or two away from a real football program (choose from 50) or a real academic institution (Stanford) that isn't stuck in the Rust Belt with no good looking snatch.

4. An overblown sense of self-worth. Notre Dame has not been good since 1991. Notre Dame has not mattered since at least 1993. Somehow this is listed still as a marquee program and a marquee coaching job. Spare me, just let us all know when you find your next puppet. And please save us the moaning about financial concerns.....NBC can bail you out and, if that fails, you can always ask that the good folks at mass pony up 15% of their incomes instead of 10.

Nebraska vs. Texas
Don't think it, Nebraska fans. Don't believe it. Don't talk yourselves into thinking that NU can beat the Longhorns. The offense is bad....brutally bad. Unless the defense and special teams can account for 17 or more points, there is no chance. Hell, Nebraska couldn't even beat UT when they were three notches above them in talent and fortitude. So, NU fans, just accept that you blew $1000 to go to Dallas to see the Cowboys' new stadium...when you could have see it on a YouTube video for free. Texas has everything that has owned Nebraska this season:

-Scrambling QB
-Accurate QB, who can find spaces between zone defenses AND hit big plays
-Good receivers
-Smart coaching (not great, but smart enough to make sure Sean Fisher and Will Compton are on the field for the Blackshirts. Which, by the way, has there been a worse LB performance than Fisher supplied us last week in Boulder?)
-Stout defense
-Speed

Even worse for NU, their QB stinks and is even shakier against real competition. Their only receiver gets fat against weak competition, but is nowhere to be found against teams of any magnitude. We could delve into the numbers, but is it really necessary?

NU's strength is in the Blackshirts. PYB was mortified to watch last week, as Colorado totally exposed the unit's main weakness. When Fisher & Compton have to be on the field depending against power sets.......they're screwed. Pelini & Pelini would be better off staying in the nickel or dime and letting undersized DBs play than they would letting two scrubs plod four steps behind Texas' RBs all game.

Anyway, PYB hopes for a win. But it's not coming. Too bad, because Texas is overrated. Texas is soft. Always has been--it's the tradition that pussies like Chris Simms instilled in Austin. They prey on creampuffs in non-conference. They use their excess talent to win games they should lose. In tough times, they fold. Too bad NU doesn't quite have enough firepower to make the times tough enough Saturday. Maybe soon.

AND, just a postscript for those of you who need numbers to quantify your thoughts. A reader submission is posted below:

From: Donger, Lincoln, NE
OK, so how good a season was this, really? Does NOT include Texas.
Played (and lost to) one team in the last BCS Top 25 (VT - #11). Did
play (and beat) the following teams in the bottom 35 of the FBS -
Arkansas State (#106), Florida Atlantic (#103) and Colorado
(#84)....with Baylor at #75...technically beat 4 teams in the bottom 40%
of the Sagarin rankings....

9 Wins - FAU, ULL, ASU, MU, BU, OU, KSU, KU, CU
Combined Record - 46-60, .433%
Combined Score - 275 - 77
Average Margin of Victory - 22.0 Points
Non-Con Combined Score - 142 - 12
Non-Con Average Margin of Victory - 43.33 Points
Conference Combined Score - 133 - 65
Conference Average Margin of Victory - 11.33 Points


3 Losses - VT, TT, ISU
Combined Record - 23-13, .638%
Combined Score - 32 - 56
Average Margin of Loss - 8.0 Points

Sorry, ridiculously bored today...and I think we're gonna get blasted
Saturday. Now, more than ever, I think it's been smoke and mirrors all
year...

Trouble in "Paradise"

That is, if your version of 'paradise' is under the I-480 bridge with the bums and a couple empty sports bars.
Seems selling beer at a college game can only please the faux-riche in Omaha for so long. If this isn't typical, Omahans have gotten a completely overblown image of who they are and what their city is. Except for you myopic Jaybackers, the rest of us knew all along that Creighton was a nothing school, in the middle of the worst part of its city (if you think PYB is exaggerating, click here), with a huge inferiority complex (as Doc Sadler makes very evident here).

We especially loved all the Creighton grads who railed on about its great academics, which is code for "I have to pump it up because daddy droped $25,000 a year for me to go here because I couldn't get in to a real school that charges the same tuition and I was too scared to go to a bigger school that didn't have teachers to hold my hand the whole way." Even funnier are the alums who puff out their chests and go on record in the OWH about their expectations for Creighton, acting like they're Bill Gates when they never had the balls to leave Omaha.

This just in: Dana Altman will never take you to the next level. He flopped at Kansas State!! Duh. He pissed his pants after one day at Arkansas. So realize who you are, Jays.....a mid-level MVC team that beats Nebraska 50% of the time because it's your version of the Final Four. Congrats!

NU Blasts UTPA in Last Tuneup Before Bluegays

Not a victory worthy of an analysis, but some notes of interest from the box score:

1. Brian Diaz 11 points in 19 minutes

2. Sek Henry 5 & 8 playing half the game

3. Ryan Anderson continued production with 21 points & four steals.

4. Ray Gallegos gets his most playing time of the year, due in part to Brandon Richardson's aggravated back injury, and gets 13 points and three assists as he continues to impress.

5. Bear Jones gets 11 points playing 21 minutes.

So this game tells us little, except that Doc is working to find the rotation that works best against legitimate teams, who can play, who can not and what type of team he really has. We'll find out a little more on Sunday against the Bluegays, as this is their Super Bowl. Dana, should you have stayed in Fayetteville and cashed that big check? Something here at PYB tells us yes, as your program slides further into the middle of the pack in the Mo Valley...

Pounding Whores from Coast to Coast...

A good recap of the whole fraud that is Tiger Woods....

Inside the Nebraska Football Experience Room...

Done by Daake Design, an ardent supporter of PYB...We see only one error..."Eric Crouch, greatest running QB in school history."

Most yards, maybe. Most attempts, likely. Greatest runner, no chance.

Check the link.