Just the Facts, Man...

Wasn't Tim Tebow injured on a sack, not a rushing attempt? Better do some research before writing something as outlandish as this article.

Also, what would he be saving himself, the NFL?

Just like today's generation....preaching him to avoid contact to cash a check..forget the fact that injuries are part of the game and sometimes happen on the road to the ultimate goal, a national title.

http://www.cbssports.com/collegefootball/story/12284410

PYB on Vacation.....

See ya next week....

PYB top 10....

In lieu of Big 12 rankings (suspended this week by the fact that nobody played anyone good so you can look at last week's rankings and that my real job got in the way....fuck), PYB is putting out a top 10 today...or at least how I'd do it if I was an AP voter. Obviously, we qualify more than most of the current voters, since we actually watch more than the two big games in our region (ie, NY Times voter watching Penn State and Boston College and Notre Dame). If it were up to us, we'd start the polls after Week 4, and until later in the season I'm ranking all of the undefeated teams ahead of the teams with one loss.

1. Alabama--Dominated Virginia Tech (supposed #6 in voters' rankings) and has a lot of athleticism on defense. Edges out the Gators, who haven't played anyone. To quote former Crimson Tide coach Mike Price, "Oh, it's rollin' baby!!"

2. Florida--Gators get an off-week at the right time, so Tebow can heal and regain his powers of walking on water.

3. Texas--Longhorns doing what they do best thus far: beating up on no-name competion, not taking an ounce of flack for it from the media before struggling against any team with talent. Overrated, but nobody good enough to put ahead of them.

4. LSU--No this is not a sign that the SEC is great. Just watch one of their games for proof of that. Just the fact that the Tigers are 4-0, with at least a decent win. They beat Washington in Seattle, more than can be said for USC. The Tigers are catching shit for being an unimpressive 4-0, but at least they've played ONE respectable game unlike Florida.

5. Houston--I guess I've gotta do it. Sure they'll lose soon, but they have just as many quality wins (if not more) as anyone in the top four. A road win at Okie St. and vs. Texas Tech thanks to Mike Leach's arrogance/idiocy.

6. TCU--Road win at Clemson has to prove something, or two things: TCU is pretty decent and the Tigers are the most unfundamental underachievers ever.

7. Missouri--Somehow not in the AP top 25 but the Tigers are UNDEFEATED. They blasted Illinois at a neutral site and beat Nevada on the road. Not a killer schedule, but better than anyone in the top four has done. Lack of respect is obviously due to the loss of Chase Daniel and the lack of a big name in football circles. If Iowa is rated 13th after beating a terrible Penn State team, anything is possible.

8. Boise St.--Getting a lot of mileage from a home win over an average Oregon team.

9. Kansas--Sportswriters give constant props to Todd Reesing's guts and leadership. This is code for "throws shitty balls and isn't that good but grinds his overrated team to wins over bad to mediocre competition." Jayhawks aren't great, but could beat half the teams rated above them here on a given day.

10. Cincinnati--Bearcats are undefeated. Road win at Oregon State and home win over Fresno. Whatever that means.

11. Iowa--The fact that they're rated is laughable...unless we're talking I-AA, as the Northern Iowa Panthers took them to the limit. But we're rating all the 4-0 teams, so here you are. Should have at least two losses in the next four weeks: vs. Arkansas State, vs. Michigan, at Wisconsin, at Michigan State.

12. Michigan--Arguably should be higher with that AMAZING win over Notre Dame! After getting a lucky win gift-wrapped to them vs. Indiana, look for the Wolverines to lose in East Lansing Saturday vs. perennially bipolar Michigan State.

Back for More...

3:10 to Beatrice's favorite Husker fan was back for more this weekend at his favorite NU bar in STL....at least he lost the Magnum PIs for some full-length jeans...Obviously has some sort of sixth sense of when pricks across the bar are snapping pictures of him to post on the web.....

0 for '09

MIA in all the majors...oh yeah, he was RIGHT THERE in the PGA, but then was horse-collared from behind by some no name. Again, he can't come from behind NOR hold a lead now. The Tour Championship just chalked up another final pairing choke job...maybe he should've cringed after every tee shot and then all of the media would've sprouted quarter-horses and spewed what a hero he is for playing with a leg with no cartilage, no tendons, shredded ligaments, a severed nerve and several compuond fractures!

And explain to me how Woods is praised for weeks for shooting a 3rd round 62 at a mild Cog Hill...(Mike Tirico & company simultaneously going from 6:00 to Midnight), but there's barely any talk about Mickelson's bogey-free FINAL ROUND 65 @ a very difficult track in windy conditions, coming from 4 back, beating Tiger by 5 and winning The Tour Championship...? Bueller??? Bueller??

Crickets...

Top 25 Football Ratings...Bigger Joke than Ever...

Random thoughts on the farce that is the Top 25:

1. Boise State #5....Ha ha ha ha ha.

2. Virginia Tech #6--Nothing against the Hokies, but how can you be in the top 6 by getting blasted in your first game by Alabama, then BARELY beating the #23 team at home on a hail mary?

3. USC #7--WTF? They lost to an UNRATED Washington team and are magically #7 again? Oh yeah, they looked like shit against Ohio State too. That's because they're not that good.

4. Ohio State #9--Moral of the story here: beat any Armed Forces team at home, blow a game vs. the only good team on your schedule, and then DESTROY all your fellow shitty Big 10 brethren at home by 20 points and you will keep ticking up the rankings...PURE domination.

5. Cincinnati #10--Boy, Bob Huggins really has Nick van Exel and company playing well. Possible Final Four material.

6. TCU #11--Ha ha ha. A few less Has than Boise, because at least they beat Clemson on the road. After watching them three times since January, Clemson has to be the most athletic defensive team that can't stop people because of how poor their fundamentals are.

7. Houston #12--Thanks to Mike Leach and Mike Gundy...otherwise the Cougars would be 2-2.

8. Iowa #13--Ha ha ha ha ha!! Are these the I-AA ratings? Because they barely held off the juggernaut from Northern Iowa in week 1. However, they beat a WORTHLESS Penn State team who had played nobody prior to Saturday and go from unrated to top 15? Please.

9. Penn State #15--Plays nobody then finally plays a mediocre team at home and gets thoroughly dominated? Scored 3 points after the game's first play. Blame it on the rain....yeah yeah.

10. Oregon #16--String together wins over shitty opponents after losing to a mediocre one and you're good to go....

11. Michigan #22--Should have lost to one of the nation's worst teams at home and moves up. Sounds good....it is the rugged Big 10, after all. They were just lucky to survive this death match.

12. Nebraska #23--Three wins over weak teams, but only loss is to #6 team on the road by one point but is somehow ranked behind five teams who have one loss to teams who are rated below VT (or not at all, ie BYU getting bottle blasted by FSU).

Hefty Takes the Tour Championship

The fact that Phil Mickelson stole the spotlight from Tiger Woods by winning the Tour Championship yesterday was priceless. Had all the usual suspects not choked away their spots up top, Mickelson even had a chance to win the FedEx Cup. By the way, has there ever been a more meaningless, contrived championships in sports than the FedEx Cup? These guys are so rich, really, what is $10 million...or $5 million after taxes??

Woods acted like he'd just won $300 in merchandise at his local pro shop. And Johnny Miller's post-round interview was the perfect combination of creepy, annoying and humorous to be worthwhile. He even got a fake laugh out of Woods when bringing up the fact that Mickelson won the tournament. If you want to make this thing truly exciting, have a year-end championship where these guys have to pony up $1 million of their own money and then the winner takes all! Most exciting to PYB was the fact that Woods couldn't even beat a watered-down field of 30 and got boatraced by his arch-rival in the process.

No word on whether Phil had to collect his prize one dollar at a time between his man boobs....

Sylvester Croom Award Nominees: Texas Tech, Purdue & Indiana

It's always comical (or amazing, or both) to watch the major coaching blunders that cost teams games on Saturdays. The more you see, the more PYB realizes how unfair it is for coaches to ask players to devote their lives 12 months a year to training, practicing, studying etc. when they piss away all that hard work with decisions that a 13-year-old wouldn't make while playing PlayStation. Let's get to today's honorees:

1. Mike Leach, Texas Tech--Up 28-23 with a 4th-and-goal from the 1, he skips the field goal that would have guaranteed OT at the worst. Taylor Potts gets stoned at the one, and Houston promptly goes down the field for the winning TD. At least Leach admitted the botch, but if you kick the FG and even if UH goes right down the field for a TD, the two-point conversion is a 50% success rate at best. Duh.

2. Bill Lynch, Indiana--Entirely beside the point is that Lynch completely embarrassed himself by being the most bitter, out-of-control A-hole ever on the sideline Saturday. Worse was the fact that after the Hoosiers took the lead over Michigan AND got the ball back, he called three straight mail-it-in plays and had to punt. UM got the ball at the 50, scored, game over. Got the lead and pissed the bed, bottom line. Coaches should know that hoping will never get it done on the road against a team you haven't beaten since 1987.

3. Danny Hope, Purdue--Must be an Indiana thing. But the Boilermakers fight back to take the lead on Notre Dame, then go into Turtle Mode and hide in their shell (aka prevent zones) and hope to win. Worst of all was the 3rd & 14 from around the 30-yard-line, where the CBs gave a 10-yard+ cushion on the line and dropped back further at the snap, allowing an easy completion for a first down. This is not even to mention that Hope called a timeout after a Notre Dame running play got to the five yard line and had NO timeouts remaining and the clock ticking down from :36 seconds. Hope, feeling charitable, called a timeout and allowed the Irish to get calmed down and devise their game-winning play. Congrats......

What We Learned About NU Saturday.....or Confirmed...

1. How bad the Solich/Callahan Era was (mostly Solich's fault)....Larry Asante's INT return for a TD was the first by a NU DB since Fabian Washington's in 2002. SEVEN YEARS! Thinking about it during the game, that was the last one I could remember but there is no way I thought I was right.

2. Husker fans are idiots. The crowd, according to the OWH, gave Rat Solich a warm reception when he came up on the video screen to address the crowd. Apparently, part of his address said "keep winning championships." No, Frank, NU hasn't been able to do that since you ruined the program. I digress, why would the crowd give a warm reception to a man who ruined the program that took 35 years to build??? It's like becoming best friends with the guy who nailed your wife of 20 years.

And anyone who thinks it was not Frank's fault, please refer to www.ourdecay.com for proof. Why do most Husker fans blame it on Callahan? A....They don't know much about college football and B....They're scared of anything new and so they blame it on the outsider because it's easier. Sure Callahan sucked, but the Rat got the party started.

3. Niles Paul sucks. The coaches didn't even bother giving him gratuitous touches for stats. One catch for nine yards and two punt returns for 8 yards. It's quite apparent that Rex Burkhead (or Alfonzo Dennard) should take this job. Burkhead averaged 29.5 per return Saturday. Currenski Gilleylen and Chris Brooks are NU's top two WRs to this point.

3a. Chris Brooks needs more playing time. Something seems to have clicked, as he is getting open. To this point, every catch has been sure handed. A big-bodied WR would be huge in helping convert third-and-short situations in pressure situations.

4. Bo Pinelli is going to mix in our young players on defense. Big playing time for Dennard....and then also PJ Smith and Courtney Osborne after Larry Asante and Rickey Thenarse went out with injuries. Anthony Blue even got some time.

5. Pinelli is going to rest Roy Helu Jr. in any game he can. A pedestrian day of 15 for 83.

6. NU needs a big back for short-yardage situations, because the line can't push the pile against anyone.

7. Phillip Dillard is in as good a physical condition as he's ever been and looks quick to the ball. Thankfully, Blake Lawrence was limited to mop up duty when his poor tackling, lack of speed and blown assignments didn't matter.

SWIM MOVE...from the fairway???

Player of the year, Comeback Player of the year...why doesn't the media just get it over and go full blown batshit crazy and hype him for Rookie of the year, too. They could spin it somehow...in fact, I'm suprised that they aren't demanding that Kenny Perry give back the Payne Stewart award so it can be bestowed upon dear Eldrick.

But wait...why stop there...maybe he should win European Player of the year for entering in The British Open. He should win an Emmy because he's so funny in his interviews, with his sharp, clever sayings and his hilarious nicknames he has for everybody! He's a shoe-in for the Nobel prize for that tremendous tax shelter be built for himself, er I mean all that he's done for golf. He should be named Mr. Universe cuz he's so ripped, the Pulitzer for his keen insight in his gripping Golf Digest articles, and if the Colts win the Super Bowl, he should win the MVP for being on the sidelines and cheering Peyton on last Sunday. Didn't he already win the Butkus Award for his technically perfect tackle in that commercial a few years back???

This just in...

Tiger is now the #1 golf instructor in the world for the selfless yet arduous work he's put in turning Sean O'hair into the best putter ever! According to Eldrick's minions, aka the media, this is unprecedented...no other golfer has EVER given a tip to another player/competitor...(even though this author has seen it happen all day on the range and putting green at the Phoenix Open every year!). Yeah, that's right...I refuse to call it the FBR...

By the way...Eldrick will be getting Canonized in the Vatican later this year...after being knighted by Her Majesty...

Telling Stats...Click...

Click the link and look at the Special Teams Stats report.....NU is subpar in huge departments: Turnover margin, punt returns, kick returns, punt coverage, kick coverage and net punting. These are what win tight games...like the one that got away last weekend. Hopefully, they can improve greatly as the season progresses. In reality, the Cornhuskers have been bad since early in the Solich Era.

For a Good Laugh Click Here....

Of the DECADE!!???? Ha ha ha ha. This guy wasn't even the best player on his own team and wouldn't have sniffed a national title if it weren't for Reggie Bush saving the day on numerous occasions. Pure proof that CFB is a marketing machine only, and the games are entirely and overtly secondary these days.....

Missouri Embarrassing the Big 12

Blaine Gabbert doesn't like pressure. His throws are inconsistent even when not pressured. Gary Pinkel shows why his coaching skills are the constant fodder for jokes as he goes for a two-point conversion in the FIRST HALF after Mizzou scored to go up 12-7. Apparently, no mind that two FGs then beats you. Maybe it won't matter, as Nevada just scored (after the Tigers botched the 2H kickoff coverage) a TD to take a 13-12 lead. A pretender once, and always....

Oh wait, Mizzou just scored on a long TD pass and went for two...AGAIN!!! And missed. It's now 18-13. The extra point makes it 19-13 and two Wolfpack FGs would only tie you....not win! How exactly do these guys make multiple millions a year? Can we mention his halfback pass that got an intentional grounding penalty and the double reverse that got stoned for a loss?

Where's Chairman Mao?

PYB thought Mao Tse Tung was dead. However, in watching this week's version of "The Bo Pelini Show" his tenets are alive and well. The show conveniently cut out the opening 76-yard kickoff return by Virginia Tech, their touchdown to make it 7-0 AND also the winning touchdown that made it 16-15. Truly laughable!

We (and the rest of the sports nation) watched what happened and didn't forget over the last four days. Why bother cutting this out? It only erodes any credibility the show had left.....as it has become nothing but a highlight package with music set to it. Are we supposed to pretend that nothing bad ever happens to the team you're rooting for? Does it make NU less of a program to show it giving up a TD? No and no.

True fans remember the weekly NET show that covered the entire game tape, good or bad, as coaches and players analyzed the Xs and Os and taught us about the game itself and also our favorite team. Just chalk this one up to another over-marketed, low quality, sell-out-for-the-dollar production for the dumbed-down fan base.

Also, would someone tell Bo Pelini that he is making more than a million dollars a year and owes the public more than his mumbled, four-word answers when he's mad about a bad practice or game? He's a good coach, but his spoiled brat routine is tiresome. Coaches are supposed to be the rock around which a program rallies in bad times.

Friday Thoughts....

Random thoughts of the day:

1. Why isn't the national media raving about Tim Tebow's tremendous performance against Tennessee? 14/19 for 115 yards. Five yards an attempt. Fucking pathetic, but somehow this is not mentioned at all as a Heisman-losing performance. Three games into 2009, he has 648 yards of total offense. So much for the Jaguars' and Skip Bayless' great idea of him as an NFL quarterback. A future as an MLB knuckleball pitcher is much more likely. But what a leader! To quote Thom Brennaman, "To spend even five minutes with Tebow is to become a better person for it."

2. Another hated sports term.....'slide piece' when referring to a slider in baseball. The guys in the dugout can get away with this, but when baseball roto-geeks mix it into their lingo (Karl Ravech) it is simply disgusting.

Rebels Bite the Dust

Stars & Bars takes a dive last night, joining Oklahoma State as overhyped preseason darlings who pissed the bed in a big way early. The Rebels were thoroughly dominated by a South Carolina team produced its usual offensive ouput of 16 points. PYB predicted this meltdown, as well as Okie State's. Ole Miss certainly has to be the worst top-five team in NCAA Division I history. Second place goes to current number five, excuse me while I laugh my fucking head off....Penn State.

Fueled by that impressive win against Oregon, Boise State holds down number eight. Coming off a win over an overrated and injury-marred USC squad, Washington jumped into the top 25 despite being one of the worst teams in CFB's recent memory last year. Oh wait, they have a former USC coach as their new coach, so they must be good. Michigan gets rated after beating a shitty Notre Dame squad....who the next week almost lost ot a shitty Michigan State Spartan crew. But Nebraska loses by one point to the supposed #13 team, and drops from 18 to 24. Go figure.

Developments at Memorial

Pending approval from at PYB source, we should have some inside info on this "Football Experience" room soon....Click on title for story....Here's hoping Crouch's portion takes up 90 percent of the room, as he deserves....

Some Things Never Change...

Sucked at NU, sucks in NO. It's great how these stories say "Fans might think he sucks, but teammates SWEAR he's great". Just like fellow B12 coaches said Frank Solich was a great coach to try to keep him in his job for as long as they could, so they could keep trouncing his overmatched squads.

Pic of the Day....

Prototype Husker geek......Correspondent 3:10 to Beatrice almost came to blows with this guy at a St. Louis-area Husker watch party during the Virginia Tech game. Allegedly, the guy's sole mission was to start the "Husker Power" chant......which was en vogue in the 1980s, along with his Magnum PI-length denim shorts....

Mr. Mangino Goes Off...Click title for video....

Props to Mr. Keiper.....

for getting his second picture in a week posted to Deadspin.com with his 'Hellraiser' pic.....in the meantime, expect PYB posts to be slow today as I try to let the ringing in my ears subside following last night's Better than Ezra show in Tempe....

PYB Week 3 Big 12 Rankings....

1. Texas (3-0)--Still overrated, and OU is closing fast. Gave up 414 yards to the Red Raiders. So do a lot of people--just not top five teams.

2. Oklahoma (2-1)--Loss to BYU looks worse after the Cougars got bottle blasted at home by FSU. Sam Bradford is throwing in practice. Could contend for the B12.

3. Missouri (3-0)--Mizzou's 40-point-rout of Furman gets keeps them just ahead of KU, who routed Duke by 28. Game vs. NU on 10/8 will tell us more--unless they piss the bed at Nevada this weekend.

4. Kansas (3-0)--Jayhawks keep this by default and probably shouldn't be rated at all given their laughable non-conference schedule to this point. They do stiffen it up a bit with Southern Miss this weekend, who is undefeated with wins over Alcorn State, UCF and Virginia.

5. Nebraska (2-1)--Add QB play under pressure and playcalling to potential weaknesses, along with 'no playmaker at WR'. OC Shawn Watson has the Huskers in danger of becoming the next Colorado, moving the ball well vs. bad teams and in early-game situations....but having no identity to fall back on to move the ball and score when the game is tight.

6. Texas Tech (2-1)--Gave UT a scare in Austin, but will have to show us more to move higher. Wins over North Dakota & Rice won't do that yet.

7. Oklahoma State (2-1)--Racked up an unimpressive win over Rice. Expect unrealistic preseason expecations to hamper the Cowboys all season.

8-12. Is it worth the time to type recap the merits/shortcomings of Colorado, Iowa State, Kansas State and Texas A&M? Not this week. Buffs get their first win, and don't forget your Power Towel!

OWH Big 12 Rankings...Week 3

The wackness that Lee Barfknecht shows each year has begun with his most recent installment of Big 12 ratings. Dropping Nebraska to number seven after a one-point road loss is wack...but if that's your prerogative, so be it. However, he moves Texas Tech up from eighth to fourth with a 10-point loss at overrated Texas. Please, Lee, your arrogance has now got to offend even you! He must have some insights that nobody else is keen enough to pick up on....insights that only someone covering the Wyoming v. Colorado game could fathom.

PYB will be out with some objective ratings later.

http://www.omaha.com/article/20090914/SPORTS/709149824

Straight from DFW...

In case you needed it, one more validation of why NFL fans are just half a step (maybe) above pro wrestling fans.....Credit goes to Keiper for snapping this at DFW airport...If the jersey didn't prove his badassness, the calf tattoo does....

NFL Picks....

Kansas City -2 over Oakland
KC and Oakland OVER 40
Chicago +3 over Pittsburgh
Indy -3 over Miami
New England -3 over New York Jets

Blunder in Blacksburg....

PYB always says coaches are paid to put players in the position to win games, regardless of the sport. Nebraska's coaches did that yesterday, until the Cornhuskers moved inside the 20-yard line. Shawn Watson's lack of imagination/diversity inside the 20 cost NU the game yesterday, as the offense came away with five short field goals. A sixth trip (this time inside the 10) came up totally fruitless, as penalties eventually pushed NU outside of even FG range.

Sure, it was players committing those penalties, but the false start/illegal formation type infractions are reflections of discipline (or lack thereof) instilled by Cotton & Co. Some say this is the biggest gut punch they've ever taken during their Cornhusker fanhood, but PYB says this was outdone by the two most recent losses to Texas Tech and also in Lincoln against Texas when Playboy Terrence Nunn fumbled the game away after Bill Callahan's butchered play call. Let's get on to the unit grades, because if we don't we may ramble on like John Doe did in the movie 7even.

Quarterback -- C-
Zac Lee started out just fine early in the game, making some decent throws and not many mistakes. Then during a 2nd & 3rd quarter span he went from 6/11 to 6/19 and couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Lee ended up going 9/30, with several key misses. Most importantly, he blew a TD opportunity on a completion to Currenski Gilleylen. Had he thrown the ball to the inside, or anywhere close for that matter, Gilleylen was off to the races for a game-clinching TD. As the second half wore on, more of his passes came from his back foot...not a promising sign.

The weirdest thing (and thing I hate to do) is that I started questioning in the middle of the third quarter if Lee was giving us anything physically that Cody Green could not do? All the positive plays were either handoffs or QB keeps--plays where Green is as good or better. Stay tuned as Green learns the offense, but Lee did nothing to stake his claim to the job yesterday.

I-Back -- A+
Roy Helu Jr. was the real deal. How do you have a back run for 176 yards and 6.0 yards per carry on the road and lose? This was a new one to me. Helu can get the inside yards, turn the corner outside, catch, make guys miss, and make the breakaway play with regularity. Anyone who can run like this, despite the questionable run blocking, is OK in my book--to quote Johnny Lawrence from the Karate Kid.

Offensive Line -- B-
Helu got big yards, so kudos there. Too many holding penalties and false starts to win big games. Barney Cotton needs to prove his worth, because so far he's failed to do so in either stint as a coach in Lincoln.

Wide Receiver -- D
The playmaker that NU dearly needs has not materialized. No, it's not Niles Paul, even though coaches wanted us to believe that after handing him BS stats on a silver platter vs. Arkansas St. Other than an occasional breakout, the WRs go MIA for large chunks of the game. This has to be just because they're not explosive enough to get open consistently. And all BS aside, is it just me or does Chris Brooks Sr. deserve more playing time? The guy presents a big, physical target over the middle and always catches the ball without a bobble. Menelik Holt looks like a solid #2 WR, but needs a true #1 to open up opportunities for him. Without someone stepping forward, big game woes will continue.

Tight End -- C
Nothing good to say and nothing bad. Seems like the Hokies took away this security blanket for Zac Lee, knowing that NU lacked a threat at WR. The game-clinching TD to Mike McNeill got called back on one of Barney's Boys many penalties.

Defensive Line -- A+
Controlled the VT offense the entire game. Ndamukong Suh had FOUR deflected passes, an amazing stat. He also chipped in eight tackles. Jared Crick showed some great development and had seven tackles himself. Barry Turner had six tackles and Pierre Allen five. The DL also had four sacks on an ultra-slippery QB. Other than the first few possessions, the Hokies couldn't move the ball and the Cornhusker front four was the reason. A shame to waste a truly dominating performance--one we haven't seen since Peter & Wistrom.

Linebackers -- B
Benching Blake Lawrence (oh wait, sprained ankle) did wonders. The LBs didn't make a ton of impact plays but cleaned up anything that got past the front four and did a solid job tackling....all you can ask of this group. It was nice to see Phillip Dillard contributing, as his mysterious two-game benching ended.

Defensive Backs -- B-
This grade would be higher if not for the blown zone, which we surmise was an error by Matt O'Hanlon. So much for that feel good story about him walking on and then saving the Clemson game last season. A PYB correspondent watched the game at an Arizona sports bar and sat near former NU DC Charlie McBride, who believed it was O'Hanlon's gaffe also. This is a mistake that should NEVER happen, much less when you're trying to prevent the game-losing touchdown. Credit does goes out to Pelini, who didn't go with a total prevent defense and stuck to his guns. Better to get burned this way than to die a slow, painful death. Cornerbacks had good coverage most the game, and struggled only on the crossing routes the first few drives. Prince Amukamara did a good job on the game-losing play, covering his man for multiple cuts back & forth until he finally broke open due to the lack of pass rush.

Special Teams --B-
This would be lower, except the fact that there were no misplays after the opening kickoff. The punt game was solid, as far as major errors go. We're still not sold on Alex Henery as the punter...unless he goes full time to the rugby kick, which he does much better than conventional punts. As a kicker, this guy is exceptional. On all of his field goals, he had complete control of the ball--drawing them in with precision. Adi Kunalic was great on kickoffs, most times pinning VT too far deep or left for a return. Niles Paul had a 55-yard punt return, but he is not the answer here. He can make a play when all he has to do is run straight, but this position requires someone with good moves (spins, jukes, hesitations..). Where is Mr. Dennard???

Coaching -- C
This is really the toughest grade to hand out. The defense completely shut down Virginia Tech, 80 of their 287 yards came on a blown play. It was in complete control and kep the game in front of them for 59 minutes. The lack of imagination by VT's staff did contribute, but this performance on the road was impressive. So was the running game and ball movement outside the 20 yard line.

However, the lack of time management was reminiscent of Frank Solich's ineptitude. NU blew two of its three timeouts early in both halves. Watson's red-zone playcalling was bad, as he seemed content with FGs instead of taking the game by the balls. NU was the better team, but the coaches lack of guts eventually spilled over to the players as they went into a shell when they had the chance to twist and snap the Hokies' neck.

Watson's final third-down play call was also bad, as gaining that first down would have clinched the win. Sure, running the ball forced VT to burn its last time out...but with nearly two minutes to go, if the Hokies were going to score, they were going to do it regardless of how many timeouts they had remaining. Blitzing VT on the game-losing play would have been a good thing, especially given the scatterarmed nature of Tyrod Taylor. However, it was not Ndamukong Suh's fault--in what the Omaha World Herald's Dirk Chatelain idiotically calls a 'maddening lapse in judgment'. This is obviously from someone who never played football and who was obviously not a 300-pount defensive lineman worried about containing an elusive runner with the game in the balance. True idiot, Dirk.

NU was almost scared to win. The nine penalties is also somewhat indicative of leadership. I've heard several people put a positive spin on this by saying "We weren't going to win the national championship anyway." How do you know? When you see Florida struggle at home vs. Tennessee and USC lose at Washington, the gap separating all the mediocrity in college football is thinner than ever and your chance may be closer than you ever thought possible. Coaches need to teach their players to be winners....and NOW, not in 2-3 years like it used to be. Another close loss, but another road loss to a ranked team (despite being the better team...outgaining VT 343 to 287)....and so the Streak That Frank Built continues.....21 and counting....

Come Get Some.....

Correspondent Keiper decides to send a pic he snaps to PYB first, instead of Deadspin....doing good work on his weekend getaway to Chicago. Too bad he'll be heartbroken when the NFL finds a way to rig the game for the Steelers over the Bears. Anyway, the great Vince Vaughn....

Husker vs. Hokie Pregame Pictures of the Day...

If this doesn't get you pumped for a big game nothing will. The ride of the one and ONLY Chris Brooks Senior. parked at Memorial Stadium Friday. Our favorite feature....obviously the dice on top of the locks inside the door. When you're rich you don't write checks...straight cash homey....

This could sway the win toward the Cornhuskers.....

Pictures are courtesy of PYB mobile correspondent Ham Wallet.

Rick Reilly Sucks....

Reilly owes us an apology for having to read his unoriginal, unfunny sports writing for the last two decades and now especially for having to watch him butcher major golf coverage and Sportscenter (if you can ruin that any further). Those who don't like 'killers' like MJ must really like today's pussified, watered down version of sports. The present-day reality where the NFL is rigged, you can't hit the QB at all, the NBA is rigged and guys don't even have to earn their stripes to get calls...Hell, you can't even touch them like the Bad Boys and Knicks assaulted Jordan in the early years. And college football only gives us four above-mediocre teams, 20 or so mediocre ones and 90+ lame ones. Spare me, Reilly. Your columns about man caves, ICE COLD BEER and HOT CHICKS are tiresome. You couldn't even make the cut to get published at PYB! Your only contribution to sports the last 20 years has been telling Tiger Woods what a jackass he is and was at the 2009 British Open.

Click on title for full story.....

September 18, 2009

1. Today, we have a clear winner of the Dildo of the Day Award....This question was posed to Tom Shatel on omaha.com.

From: Phil, OmahaPublished Wednesday, Sept. 16

Q: Tom, obviously, this is not a real important issue but a noticeable one nonetheless. I have always loved the Nebraska jerseys (home and away) and the cream colored helmets. But what's with the black socks? Black socks with a red and white jersey looks as bad as white socks with a nice suit... there is no connection. Has anyone discussed this with Coach Pelini? It really looks bad on national TV.

A: I have to be honest, I have not noticed the socks. But I'll try to be more observant. I can ask about the socks, but not in front of a group or at a press conference. I hope it's like when my four-year-old gets dressed in the morning. Sometimes the only clean socks in the drawer don't match her outfit, so we go with it anyway.

2. Anyone who says that Zack Greinke doesn't deserve the American League Cy Young award knows nothing about baseball. Any starter that has a 2.14 ERA and has amassed the requisite number of innings pitched deserves it. I don't care if his record is 0-25. Some argue he doesn't have enough wins: so that would make the award qualification "The best pitcher that has a good bunch of hitters on his team"? PYB! A couple more good starts and Greinke's ERA could be lower than Alex Gordon's batting average...

3. Jason Peter says he wants Ndamukong Suh to show a meaner side, and gave the example of knocking the arm of the guy next to you off the armrest at the movie theater. Whatever happened to rape, assault or use of a firearm? Worked well in the 90s.....today's athlete is DEFINITELY soft!

4. Collins Okafor is back on the team. The scholarship at Yale must have fallen through--or maybe his SAT wasn't high enough.

Notes....9/17/2009

--It's definitely good to see that the coaches realized Blake Lawrence is no good. They're using the guise of 'ankle injury' to bench him for Phillip Dillard. Somehow, he hasn't gotten a snap in the first two games, but he's good enough to instantly jump ahead of Lawrence and fellow charity case Matt May. The coaches aren't saying it, but we can all read between the lines...

Nebraska defensive coordinator Carl Pelini called senior Philip Dillard’s sudden move from MIKE to WILL linebacker on Tuesday “just creating competition.”

“Fresh legs, healthy guy, give him a shot,” Pelini said after Wednesday’s nearly three-hour workout inside Memorial Stadium. “See what he can do.”

--The fact that Collins Okafor left the Cornhusker team won't affect them. He obviously wasn't the real deal, as he couldn't get any higher than the scout team in his second season. What it does show, though, is how pampered today's athletes are. Okafor was high maintenance during his recruiting process, flip-flopping between Nebraska and other schools, showing no gratitude at all that his home-state school had offered him a free education and chance to play football.

Definitely gone are the days when Nebraska's Omaha products stayed home and contributed by the time they were seniors. They didn't need to be stars, they were multisport high-school studs who swallowed their pride for the betterment of a team and contributed their athleticism in any way they could: Clinton Childs, Damon Benning, Reggie Baul, Tony Veland, Clester Johnson (not to mention the stars: Andre Woolridge, Erick Strickland and Ahman Green and others I'm sure I've forgotten--please help if you think of any!). Omaha talent, in football or basketball, is pretty much nonexistent these days.

Bottom line, Okafor realized he wasn't as good as he thought, didn't want to outwork his competition, and ran for the hills. I'm sure there's someone promising him a starting position....maybe Yale has offered him the #1 RB spot behind Patrick Witt. And Maybe Ron Kellogg Jr. can re-establish this tradition?

--Finally, the Donger uncovered this tidbit today. The below mentioned streak begun just five games in to the Rat's pathetic tenure at NU. He contributed 11 of those losses. But, I guess the program wasn't slipping...

Since the opening of the 1998 season, NU is 2-17 in TRUE road games
against Top 20 opponents, with wins being the 27-24 OT squeeker against
the Domers and the last second win at A&M.

A&M 28 NU 21
KSU 41 NU 31
UT 24 NU 20
OU 31 NU 14
KSU 29 NU 28
CU 62 NU 36
PSU 41 NU 7
ISU 36 NU 14
KSU 49 NU 13
UT 31 NU 7
OU 30 NU 3
USC 28 NU 13
MU 41 NU 7
UT 28 NU 25
KU 76 NU 39
TT 37 NU 31
OU 62 NU 38
Ave - 39.6 Ave - 20.41

Virginia Tech is 31-0 in it's last 31 non-conference games at home.

Pic of the Day....

Jacksonville Has Lost Its Mind....

And it will only get worse (click title for full article). Drafting a QB who can't throw won't cut it in the NFL....it may sell a few tickets over the summer. But the only way to get them to come back AND stay...."Just Win Baby."

Hare lip like big jugs!!! Hare lip like football!!!

Wednesday Thoughts....

1. Bo Pelini says he won't use a 'spy' to track Virginia Tech's Tyrod Taylor Saturday, as he's never understood that defensive philosophy. Even if he wanted to, he doesn't have a LB good enough or fast enough for the job. Where are you when we need you, Bo Ruud!!??

2. From the 'Can't Buy a Fucking Break Department': NU hoops' Toney McCray detaches an elbow ligament and is out 4-6 weeks. Something tells me an injury (which I've never heard of in basketball) like that lingers on. Maybe it will improve his shots from 6 feet this year so they go in.

3. Cubs get hot....just in time for nothing meaningful. I'd still like to see them get to 10 games over for 2009.

4. Could the new layout on Big Red page at omaha.com be worse? Will the dumbing down of society ever stop in favor of people who just want information in one logical, organized format? It's almost enough to make me read the Lincoln Urinal-Star once a year.

5. The Dildo of the Day Award goes to John from Lexington, who asked the question below. No mention of the fact that there are still media timeouts in games that aren't televised, because of radio. Also, if you don't like paying $29.95 drive the game or you can scratch a check for a few million every week so nobody has to pay for the broadcast or the advertising. Also, he can drop a few million for all the other sports teams, which are funded directly from the football revenue. Or he can go to his local congressman and propose levying a new tax that will pay for the athletic department, which gets no public funding at this point. That would go over well with Nebraskans, who are notoriously generous with their money.

Other then the almighty dollar, it seems like a big slap in the face to pay the $29.95 or whatever to see a Husker game on Pay-Per-View and then have the game stopped repeatedly for commercials as well. What's the story here?

Lame Sports Terms Part IV

More reader additions:

Clock it....Referring to spiking the football to stop the clock. Total bullshit.

Redshirt Sophomore/Junior/Senior

The Show Must Go Off......

Check out my friend RunLike September 26 at the Big Fish Pub in Tempe, AZ. Performing tracks from his new full-length CD, Retroactively Speaking. Luckily for him, he has better taste in music than in sports teams.

OWH Big 12 Rankings & Recap....

Not as official as PYB's, but interesting nonetheless....

http://www.omaha.com/article/20090914/SPORTS/709149824

http://www.omaha.com/article/20090914/SPORTS/709149814

Pic of the Day....

Week 2 Big 12 Rankings...

1. Texas (2-0)--Another cupcake win at Wyoming. Why don't the Horns ever get grief for their atrocious non-conference schedule? JoePa must have taught them how to stay off the radar.

2. OU (1-1)--Landry Jones puts up better numbers in 64-0 romp, but a horrible Arizona St. team beat Idaho State 50-3.

3. Nebraska (2-0)--Ho-hum win showed some glaring weaknesses in run blocking and at linebacker, but a win is a win....as we saw once again on Saturday. NU gets its chance to show its cards Saturday in Blacksburg.

4. Missouri (2-0)--The Tigers drop for a near-loss at home vs. Bowling Green. I guess it's easier to rack up numbers against a Big 10 team than a MAC team. Blaine Gabbert threw for 172 yards, almost all of it in the last 20 minutes of the game.

5. Kansas (2-0)--Could easily jump ahead of its border rival, but another meaningless win (over UTEP this time) will delay that for a while.

6. Baylor (1-0)--Off week keeps the Bears in the same spot. Hopefully, they can handle UConn more easily than North Carolina did.

7. Oklahoma State (1-1)--Pathetic game management and apparently pathetic game-week coaching by Gundy & staff. They HAD to be aware of a letdown possibility. Maybe they wouldn't have flopped if T Boone had dropped another billion down for the 'Pokes.

8. Texas Tech (2-0)--Pounded Rice 55-10. We'll see what they've got this weekend when they travel to Austin.

9. Texas A&M (1-0)--Idle. Aggies get to prove to the nation how they're back, as they host Utah State.

10. Iowa State (1-1)--How do you get pounded by your bumbling in-state rival and still move up two spots.....well see below. 'Clones looked terrible, and Austen Arnaud couldn't throw the ball in the ocean Saturday.

11. Kansas State (1-1)--Outgained LA-Lafayette by 90 yards and won the turnover battle, but still found a way to lose. Looks like a long season in Manhattan. Don't forget your Power Towel!

12. Colorado (0-2)--Got absolutely bottle blasted at Toledo. The team's lack of motivation, intensity, tackling and decision making (or anything else it takes to win football games) was very reminiscent of Nebraska's under Callahan and in particular Cosgrove. Something tells me this team will improve, as it always does, and be dangerous by November.

Two More Terrible Sports Terms....

Vanilla
Put it on Tape

CFB Recap...

1. Mike Gundy should be fired. Not necessarily for the fact that he allowed his team to flop vs. Houston after the team's 'biggest win in school history' against a mediocre Georgia team. But, down 10 points with around two minutes to go, he decided to go for it on fourth down, rather than taking the chip-shot field goal and cut the lead to seven points---or one possession. How coaches can keep jobs after continually butchering game and clock-management situations like this is a mystery.....it seems the rest of us (who are not hauling in millions in salary) learned these elementary lessons playing Bill Walsh and John Madden video games. Truly pathetic.

2. We were blessed in watching the GREATEAST CFB GAME OF ALL TIME.....as USC stumbles past Ohio State 18-15. The unbelievable drive that true freshman Matt Barkley led for the Trojans eclipses that of John Elway vs. Cleveland, just ask Brent Musburger. What a joke! Brent gushed about the momentous occasion, when in reality it was a pillow fight between two teams with BAD offenses and mediocre defenses. Somebody had to win, and Jim Tressel made sure it was USC by not running Terrelle Pryor more. Leading 15-10, Pryor had a couple designed runs that made good yardage and controlled the clock. Tressel inexplicably ignored that success after that point, and essentially all game. A few more yards gets OSU into FG range, at least guaranteeing overtime. He helped the Suckeyes snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. And video games taught is this too: when something works just keep doing it until the other guy stops it.

3. Kansas State loses to Lousiana-Lafayette 17-15. Good thing they signed Bucktooth Bill to a five-year contract. Not even KSU's perennial lineup of creampuffs can be relied on to roll over and play dead. Don't forget your Power Towel! We can make Manhattan the toughest place in the nation to play!

4. The Coz, Kevin Cosgrove, injects his coaching wizardry at Minnesota and helps the Golden Gophers hold Air Force to just 386 yards! How he got another job, ever, is beyond me....except for the fact it's in the Big 10 where offense hasn't been played in __ years. At least he's not in Lincoln anymore, and we don't have to hear him cry about how his kid gets shit at school because his dad sucks at coaching. Cry me a river, you TORCHED the Blackshirt tradition and don't want any repercussions?

5. Did anyone else see UGA's 100-yard kickoff return TD? On that play, Brandon Boykin was the fastest player I've seen in years, maybe ever, college or pro. The teams scored 78 points combined, more than double the over/under number, and eclipsed their quota for the next three weeks.

6. I guess Charlie Weiss isn't a genius. The Irish should move up to the top five, though. What other team could have battled a Michigan team that was 3-9 in 2008 that closely at the BIG HOUSE??

7. FSU almost loses to Jacksonville State. Two late scores saves the 'Noles and saves their season...until they lose four more games. Hasn't Bobby Bowden done enough damage to get fired yet?

8. Lane Kiffin outcoached in Knoxville by Rick Neuheisel. Ouch.

9. The Lil' General Frank Solich ekes out a 31-30 OT win at North Texas. NU shoulda kept him! He had a 58-19 record at NU with TO's players!!!

10. PYB's CFB picks go 4-2 ATS....too bad this author didn't take any and instead went 0-3 with his other 'sneak picks'.....NU over 53, Okie St. -16, and Ohio State money line +240. I'm a man! I'm 35!

Game 2--Arkansas State

Nebraska is getting a lot of great press for a ho-hum win over Arkansas State. Decent enough win, but I've read several articles raving about individual play when the overall unit has a LONG way to go in several departments. Either way, after watching its Big 12 brethren lose (and almost lost) to horrible teams, I'm sure they'll take it. PYB's observations are as follows:

Offense--Nice passing game by Zac Lee--big numbers, efficient numbers. Can he do it against a good team now? Roy Helu was obviously rested Saturday, but the lack of a power running game was concerning. As usual, with Barney Cotton making excuses early in the week, the offensive line failed to establish drive-blocking dominance. Shawn Watson force fed the ball to Niles Paul, getting him a few numbers and pumping up his ego...good I guess...but that Mickey Mouse shit won't work against Virginia Tech. In my opinion, if you're good enough to make plays it will happen without forcing it. But read the hacks in the OWH and LJS, and they'll have you believe this was a breakout game for Paul. Hopefully PYB is wrong, but we still surmise he's still a nonfactor against real competition.

Defense--Decent effort by the defensive line. Another bad performance by Blake Lawrence, though he blew fewer plays. The fact he got steamrolled on a routine play was concerning. Will Compton definitely took a step back, and was a nonfactor...so was Sean Fisher. The DBs were not really tested, so no analysis needed here. The LBs are the main point of discussion, as there was no hint of the swarming defense that will need to be there next week and in the Big 12. What killed NU last year against VT was the lack of containment against Tyrod Taylor, who is a shaky passer at best--especially on the run. Quotes by Arkansas State players indicate NU's DL was tough, but once they got past that level, running against the LBs was easy. Bad news for NU fans.

Unless there's a vast improvement to next week (which there could be as NU players will certainly be more intense and focused...cliche alert!), PYB sticks to its prediction of a Hokie win.

Pic of the Day....

Caught by PYB author Keiper last nite during the bottle blasting CU took from the Rockets. Let's all thank him for forgetting about his roots and sending this to deadspin.com first......Thanks Mike!

http://deadspin.com/

Saturday Morning Thoughts....

1. MJ's HOF induction showed again why he is the greatest of all time and will always be the greatest. His speech was actually something you wanted to listen to, not just 20 minutes of corporate cliches, etc. Too bad he had to share the limelight with on of the game's dirtiest players ever, John Stockton, and the awkwardly dorky Little Mermaid/David Robinson.

2. Colorado is a disgrace. The Buffs' defense looked like Nebraska's did under Kevin Cosgrove. Gaping holes everywhere, no tackling, little effort. Giving up 57 points to a MAC foe may be worse than any performance the Coz managed, however. Cody Hawkins sucks, and it's time for him to hit the bench. Sure he threw for 356 yards, on 64 attempts!! That a paltry five+ yards
per pass.

3. Why am I getting the feeling that as even the national media (who have big love for the Suckeyes) write off Ohio State's chances completely today, that they are going to win? FYI, you can still get them at +240.

4. Steve Stricker is pissing away his FedEx cup chances. No sooner did he take the lead did he start the BMW Championship with a 72-73 to fall 10 shots back. One ounce of pressure and he melts down completely. Win or lose, we know he's crying somewhere.

5. Cubs win four straight, go five over .500. Too bad it's way too late. Having a good closer would have them in the playoffs, easily.

Gym Dorks...

When did it become acceptable to wear your queer triathlete/cyclist gear in public? I mean I can MAYBE accept it if your out doing your thing in a race or training, but to wear it to the gym (or even worse, like I saw last week, the grocery store) is completely unacceptable. The only grapes I need to see are in the produce section, please. We certainly do not need to see your skin-tight, neon-yellow outfit and your $800 cycling shoes as you stroll around Safeway to pick up a few items. Get a t-shirt or warmups to put over them.

And when is it cool to wear the outfits adorned with the logos of professional riders. Do you see golfers walking around with Phil Mickelson golf shirts and hats with Barclay's or Bearing Point or Playtex on them? Wannabe golfers adorned head to toe in nike, wearing black & red on Sundays....oh wait, bad example. Isn't there some plain gear that these dorks can wear, instead of Lance-Armstrong USPS-replicas?

All in all, seeing these circus freaks around makes going to the gym in the real early morning hours unbearable...makes me sick to watch them prance around and act like they're the second coming because they run in races that nobody cares about....to quote the Great Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down....."Hell no I don't do triathlons. I play real sports, not try to be the best at exercising."

Today, I saw the following freak shows:

1. Cyclist in neon yellow outfit, with specialty shoes, walking through the grocery store with his nuts protruding for all to see.

2. 60-year-old man in skin tight biker shorts, with sleeveless skin tight shirt (more like a wetsuit), doing situps 18" from me. That outfit would be acceptable only in the Pacific Ocean with board in hand.

3. Runner going hogwild on treadmill......skin tight bike shorts whose length would make John Stockton blush. This was only the start, as his sleeveless silver shimmery Under Armour shirt was tucked up to his nipples, showing his belly off. Hit the road, prancer, you're due back in Tent City to play boytoy for 'Toine....

Where's the self respect gone? I guess lunchtime hoops is out, and being a pansy is in.

Cornhusker Thoughts...9/11/2009

No preview this week, as the game doesn't deserve an in-depth look, but:

1. OWH article talking about how Niles Paul getting more touches is inevitable. Is this because he's been so explosive his first two seasons and it's just a matter of time? The guy is a possession receiver at best, and all this lip service about how great he's been in PRACTICE, WE TALKIN' BOUT PRACTICE is comical....

2. Barney Cotton tells the OWH how Arkansas State has a Big-12-caliber D-Line. Expect a bad game from NU's OL, as Cotton is already making excuses.

3. Isn't it sad that you don't even have to read stories about Bo Pelini, because he always gives the same, five-word, stock answers? At least give a little insight to those of us pouring countless dollars and hours into this team and university. Oh, I forgot, he's a hardass, don't cross him.

4. ASU has an 'upset plan.' Just like the last 100 shitty teams that have come to Lincoln.

BlueGays...

An excerpt from Tom Shatel's chat session yesterday.....as Tom goes corporate with his answer, the real answer is "Yes, you are a fucking loser. You, and the KU/NU combo fans. As elite as you all act (apart from hoarding the $1 beer stand at the QWEST...best arena in the nation, just ahead of MSG), I'm surprised you aren't more concerned with polo or fox hunting."

[Comment From Darren] Tom, is there something wrong with being, as some have termed it, a "Jaysker"? I love Husker football, but support the Jays more in basketball as I live in Omaha and attended Creighton. Is it wrong to want the best of both worlds?

1:13

Tom Shatel: I used to make fun of it. I mean, you don't see Auburn football fans rooting for Bama basketball. Go down the list of rivalries and they don't criss-cross. However, the lack of a football option at CU (sorry, Bob Warming-- that's futbol!) means folks in blue have to take a side for their fall passion. Plus, one thing I've realized after 18 years in this community is that folks tend to root for everyone. It's like rooting for the community, for the state. That's a rare thing, not a bad thing, and another reason why "there is no place like Nebraska.''

PYB's Picks of the Week....I'm Rich, Bitch!

If you want to get rich, take my picks. Since I won't be betting them, they will roll home:

Cincinnati -4 over Denver
Of course the Bengals are dysfunctional and the ultimate underachiever. Chad Johnson is a psycho (PYB refuses to use his new surname) and more concerned with showing us his technical savvy than putting the ball in the endzone. However, maybe new DC Mike Zimmer can instill some defense in the Queen City. This is more of a bet against Kyle Orton and his baby WR Brandon Marshall than anything. Take the Bengals at home. Final score: Bears 16 Bengals 3.

New England -11 over Buffalo
No Marshawn Lynch. Trent Edwards coming back after a long layoff. TO grinding another offense to a halt. Tom Brady avenging his missed 2008 season. Joey Galloway gravy training Brady for a few 80-yard TDs between pulled hamstrings. Cha-ching.

Pittsburgh vs. Tennessee Under 35
Oh wait, they already played? Has somebody scored yet? Oh, silly me.....the Steel Curtain just wore out another opponent in a CLASSIC 13-10 OT win. How could I have forgotten?

Eastern Michigan +19 over Northwestern
Should any team from the Big 11 be favored over any other team by 19 points? Especially one of the perennially worst teams in one of the worst "Power" conferences? Take the Hurons plus the points.

Missouri -18.5 over Bowling Green
This line seems low. Blaine Gabbert should continue his Heisman run by rolling up big numbers vs. a MAC squad--which is more meaningful than doing it against Illinois. Pinkel will roll up the points here to prove to the nation that the Tigers aren't going away. Too bad he blew his chance(s), and they ain't coming back.....

Southern Cal -7 at Ohio State
A gambler must keep riding this horse until it dies. Sure everything is setting up for OSU to exorcise its demons (translation: win a game vs. a team with an ounce of speed): at home, USC has a true freshman QB in his first road game, USC is not that good, the Suckeyes' pathetic game vs. Navy has even its most ardent homers doubting them, etc. What a perfect time for Suckeye Nation to show the world they aren't dead! Well, to quote Lendale White, they still suck....and I'm taking USC. Last year, it was a TKO in the first round and I was kicking myself for not betting more 7 minutes into the game.

Nebraska -23.5 over Arkansas State
NU easily covered the 22 last week against Florida Atlantic. The Indians supposedly have a more potent offense than the Owls, but with any kind of decent performance the Cornhuskers should get it done. The over/under at 56.5 is dicey. Last week was 60, as oddsmakers expected FAU to score at least 14.

Florida International +34 over Alabama
The Tide should easily handle FIU, but there should be some letdown after a big win over VT--making 34 a big number to cover. Bama's offense will never be mistaken for a juggernaut like Ohio State....so take the points and hope FIU makes it through the first quarter without giving up two TDs on turnovers.

North Texas +3 over Ohio
Hey, any time you can bet against Frank Solich on the road you're looking pretty good. The lovefest in Athens is over, and Frank the Tank is running his second program in a row into the shitter. Just too much fun to bet against him, and watch him stare cluelessly onto the field as he gets outdueled once again! North Texas beat Ball State on the road last week and is now getting points at home.....bonus!

Sports Guy Nails It.....

I couldn't have said it better myself......courtesy of the great Bill Simmons.

Prediction VI: Blackouts of home games will become the signature media story of the 2009 season. You'll hear way too much about it. Here's my take: This isn't about the economy. It's about the fact that it's more fun to stay home and watch football than it is to sit in crappy seats to watch any team ranging from "lousy" to "mediocre." It just is. For many fan bases, here are the two choices every Sunday:

Door No. 1 (more expensive): Traffic, parking, long walk to stadium, lousy seats, lifeless state-of-the-art arena, TV timeouts, dead crowds, drunk/bitter fans, more TV timeouts, hiked-up concession prices, PDAs with jammed signals as you're searching for scores, even more TV timeouts, long walk to car, even more traffic.

Door No. 2 (less expensive): Sofa, NFL package, HD, fantasy scores online, remote control toggling, gambling, access to scores, seven straight hours of football, cell phone calls, beer and food in fridge, no traffic.

I can see going through Door No. 1 once a year just to remind yourself that going to an NFL game sucks. But eight times a year? Unless you had good seats, or unless this was your only excuse to get out of your house and get plastered, why would you? It's a blue-collar sport with white-collar ticket prices. This blackout trend would have happened whether the economy was suffering or not.

Are You Ready for Some Football?

Football, yes. This snooze of a game, hell no. Sure the contest features the "defending Super Bowl champions" and another top AFC team. But the over/under says it all......35 points. The number is due to offensive ineptitude, not stellar defenses. The Steelers are just not that good, and with the help of the zebras, racked up their second Lombardi Trophy in four years. That said, they also locked down the top two slots in the Worst Super Bowl Champions of All Time list. The win over Seattle was downright rigged, and the win over Arizona was heavily suspect. If you don't believe me, let's go to the tapes......

I'm sure Big Ben Rapelisberger will have another night that the announcers describe as HUGE. Only a gamer of his magnitude could to 18/29 for 185 yards, 1 TD and 2 INT. Enormous performances like this are the norm for him.....I seriously heard his name mentioned along with Joe Montana's today on sports radio. Puke. The most entertaining part of the night will be watching Vince Young sulk on the sidelines, as he realizes he can't beat out a 37-year-old balding drunk with a gray beard. You'd have to say Jeff Fisher is the NFL's best coach, but that's still not enough to make me watch.

You could wager on the game, but since neither team can score, how can you make a confident prediction? I'll settle for GT vs. Clemson, or maybe something in my pile of Netflix.....wake me when it's Saturday.....

Editor's Note: PYB apologizes for the egregious oversight. We forgot to mention what a great pump-faker Rapelisberger is. Due to the fact that the Steeler scouldn't score, Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth belabored this point for 2.5 quarters last nite. Then, the World-Wide Leaders at ESPN pick up on it for Sportscenter. God forbid they show the public some baseball game highlights instead of a 10-minute pump-fake montage. Our apologies.