MIZ-CHOKE

Well, Mizzou pulled off another patented choke job, as the Tigers fell 27-24 to the lowly Iowa Hawkeyes in the 2010 Insight Bowl in Tempe, Ariz. This one was capped by Blaine Gabbert's horrid interception that came right as it looked like Missouri was going in for the game-clinching TD with just more than five minutes remaining. Instead, a guy name Micah was running the other way for a defensive touchdown while sealing the Tigers' reputation as perennial pretender in the process.

Gabbert may as well pull his name from NFL Advisory Board consideration. We saw that he's not NFL material and may never be. He shies away from contact, turtles, and throws off his back foot any time a pass rusher gets within five yards of him. Of course, we'll have to hear how he IS a future NFL star because he had 434 yards passing and has a BIG arm (Joe Flacco, part II). But those of us who have watched Gabbert know that when the lights are bright, Mizzou's hopes for a win were dim.

Coach Gary Pinkel doesn't do Gabbert any favors, NEVER throwing downfield and clinching his QB the title of King of the Four-Yard Pass. His Tiger defense was also gashed for 219 yards by mediocre running back Marcus Coker, who was filling in for the transferring wimps, drunks and potheads that made up the Hawkeye depth chart before him.

PYB saw one pass thrown downfield over 15 yards, as Gabbert's 57 passes for 7.6 yards/attempt would indicate. Mizzou has the same problem as Nebraska under blockhead offensive coordinator (and hopefully soon-to-be head coach at Miami Ohio) Shawn Watson--they have to be perfect for 15 plays to score a TD and the playcalling is so gimmicky and inconsistent that mistakes are bound to occur during a long drive.

Even though Gabbert ultimately ("I got greedy" is apparently the new excuse for throwing it right to an opposing player) cost the Tigers another chance at a win while in the national spotlight, the replay officials decided to screw Missouri as well. After his inexplicable INT for a TD the drive prior, Gabbert was leading the Tigers down the field for the game-tying/winning score and converted a fourth-down pass on a great catch by receiver T.J. Moe. However, the play was reversed and subsequently made INCORRECT by replay officials who were obviously eager to get to the Hooters on nearby Mill Avenue for some post-game beers with out-of-shape, ugly waitresses. There was NO evidence that confirmed that Moe juggled the pass and the fact that officials could screw this up is horrifying.

The most humorous part of the meltdown is this claim by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, pronouncing Mizzou as a great traveling school because it brought 7,100 fans. The 53,000 attendance number is an out-and-out lie, as the capacity of Sun Devil stadium is 73,379 and there were empty corners on both sides of the lower level and the ENTIRE upper level on one end zone was covered with Insight Bowl logos to make it less embarrassing. The Insight committee's decision to take the hapless Tigers over Nebraska cost the economy millions of dollars in a down economy. Luckily for Iowa, it saved the Hawkeyes a bottle blasting at the hands of the Cornhuskers.

So go ahead Tiger fans, keep acting like you're among the nation's elite while the rest of the country just laughs. There's another Gabbert waiting in the wings to maintain the pretender status while Blaine ponders a jump to the UFL.