Kickstart My Bowl Week

Somebody blow up Bristol. PYB forgot how god damn annoying this song was last year, and somehow ESPN is using it again this year. I Am the Champion, Play Like a Champion. B.o.B--what a clown. Nice glasses. Fag.

Why not torture us all some more with this gem? We're sure you never got sick of that during the NBA Playoffs several seasons back.

Or how about this one? Surely we are all eager to hear this one a few more times...To the East Coast, to the West Coast...

Thanks for doing your best, ESPN, to ruin Bowl Week. As if forcing the UConn women's 89-game win streak down the viewers' throats wasn't enough. This just in: nobody cares and the streak doesn't mean shit. Not because they're women, but because the depth of competition in women's basketball is woeful.

While we're talking about shitty songs, let's talk about annoying stadium songs. You know, the ones where they use the witty strategy of playing a song that goes along with what is about to happen or just happened in the game? So GENIUS!! We'll take reader submissions for these, as there are too many to count or remember in one sitting.

We'll obviously reserve Sell Out for ESPN.

Traveling in basketball:
-Walking on Sunshine
-Walking on the Sun
-Traveling Man

Ready for Kickoff?:
-Start Me Up
-Let's Get it Started
-Kickstart My Heart

Instant Replay by the officials?:
-Jeopardy theme
-The Waiting by Tom Petty (good joke!)

Give up a goal in the NHL?:
-We're Not Gonna Take It!
-Get Over It! Get Over It!
-Elton John I'm Still Standing!!

Jump ball in basketball?:
-Obviously some time for Kris Kross Jump! Jump! or House of Pain Jump Around, duh!
-Or even Van Halen, Jump!

This is what you get as sports gets whored out and all the teams let the nerds in charge of the marketing and the music.

The only cool one PYB has witnessed to date--Drowning Pool as we watched a five-on-five hockey fight at the Phoenix Roadrunners game followed by the PHX goalie beating the shit out of the Idaho Steelheads goalie to the soothing sounds of Bodies. Fight video one and fight video two. So money.

Readers don't be shy, we need your help on this one. As a parting shot, we'd like to suggest this one every time Tiger Woods tees off. Ten dolla, two hour.....