Simple Simon says......This is earth-shattering stuff.
PYB hears it's loud in Seattle. Metal roof. Fans have boats. Blah blah. Don't fumble and play defense.
In addition to Nebraska fans invading Seattle with their 1980s gear, there could be a whole lotta munchin' going on as the home folk celebrate the Storm's second WNBA title.
By the way, do the Husker dorks who wear their Nebraska shit on the airplane on Thursday and Sunday have four red outfits for a long weekend roadie? Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday? Maybe Costco has buy one, get three free sales on their jerseys? How many pair of Silver Tabs does a Husker dork bring for a weekend like this? With the rainy clime in the Pacific NW, how many pair of red-laced hightops suffice? PYB wouldn't know, we haven't been to Costco since scouring Lincoln for Five-Star notebooks in college. Please advise if you know.
OK, we are admittedly not in the know about WNBA happenings. But in our research while crafting a crude follow-up joke about the WNBA's largely dykish fan base, we read that Sheryl Swoopes is a lesbian. Then we thought, don't we remember the WNBA's biggest star taking a break some years back to have a child? Turns out you can have your kids and eat pussy too. Who knew? So this gay thing is genetic, huh? Oh, and there is a cruise line for lesbians? Who the hell knew that? Is the ship called the S.S. Lickalottapuss? Do they have dildos you can rent for the trips duration? Need more details. OK, we're done.
Let's cut to the chase. NU vs. Washington. PYB says take NU minus the three and go big on it. Can Nebraska lose this game? Absolutely. A freshman QB's first road game is always a dicey proposition, but if Shawn Watson can keep from stepping on his own dick and outsmarting himself, the Cornhuskers have all the ingredients that are necessary in helping a freshman QB succeed: great running backs, great defense, good kick coverage and a great head coach. Nebraska will need all these factors to contribute and will need Taylor Martinez to play smart football while breaking some big plays. A few others factors to watch for are below, but giving Jake Locker and the Huskies and their faux-riche fans reason to cheer can spell instant doom. Otherwise, Nebraska will be the JR Ewing of Seattle come Saturday afternoon.
--Downfield passing attack (at least a couple big gains)
--Consistent pass rush from the front four
--Timely blitzing by the defensive backs
--Three takeaways or more
--Limited offensive lines gaffes (false starts/holdings)
--Good distance and hang time on downfield punts
--The Paul Factor. Will he stay out of the way or trash NU's hopes?
Enjoy the game. If you're headed to Seattle, we hear there is awesome seafood (Red Lobster) and great music (Nirvana) and lots of rain (36 inches/year) and great coffee (Starbucks and Seattle's Best, too close to call) and awesome football coaching (Pete Carroll) and awesome basketball (Seattle Storm...sorry the Sonics moved to OKC). And if you go to Pike's Place Market or whatever the fuck it's called, wait until closing time and then make the flavored-almond vendor dig through 50 boxes to find the cinnamon-flavored ones like Bomber did in 2003. They're worth it.
Posse up...
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