Back Before Another Hiatus

Checking in with a final entry before we head to Oxford, Miss. for the weekend to watch the flailing Ole Miss Rebels take on the Mildcats from Kentucky. We'll be back with a pictorial for sure.

--PYB refuses to write a recap from NU's game against South Dakota State. It was one of the most pathetic performances in memory. From Steve Pederson scheduling this piece of shit, to the effort of the players, to the effort of the coaching staff (notably Shawn Watson and Barney Cotton). When your players don't have it, you need to light a fire under the linemen and play power football, value each possession and get that 31-10 win.

This is the shit that Big 10 teams do, eking out 17-3 wins over shitty teams. And after posting its best performance in some time, Cotton's boys were getting pushed back four yards consistently by the Jackrabbit D-Line. Better be ready in Manhattan, as the Wildcats will be ready with their JV program and stadium. Roaaaar!! First down! Kiss my dick.

--We didn't even know Ichiro talked, much less came up with gems like this one.

--Dang Dez, karma is a bitch. Should carried those shoulder pads. How about sending a kid to four years of college instead, though???

--Creighton is such a great university.

--Glad the NCAA's all-time leading rusher wasn't good enough for Frank Solich, but he's good enough for Bill Belichik....Congrats to Danny Woodhead for sticking it out through a knee injury last year and getting cut by the Jets this season.

--Shaud Williams stint as an Omaha Nighthawk will never live up to his first brush with fame....Link here.

--Michael Vick as the Eagles' savior, PYB says he'll still peter out like he did in Atlanta once he plays a good defense that shows the blueprint for stopping him. Then again, he has talent like nobody before him and if he's actually working instead of partying, getting herpes and killing dogs maybe he's just begun his growth to an elite NFL QB.

Queen James Still Taking It

Seems like the whole world knows the Queen of Miami is weak. Talk about losing all credibility in the flip of a switch. Fans are one thing, but when every athlete across the sports world says the same about Lebron James....ouch.

The Matrix

Interesting picture from a charity poker event.....PYB felt obligated to post a picture while posing the question (after looking at the Barry jersey picture from Seattle once again): Is there anything gayer than college football fields with tracks surrounding them? Washington, Texas, and every shit team with a capacity of 35,000.

Props also to Ichiro for making it 10 straight seasons with 200 or more hits. Thus, we post a picture courtesy of 3:10 to Beatrice from Seattle last weekend. Seems the Japanese fans are still quite enamored with Suzuki on EVERY at bat.

I'll Get You My Pretty.....

Thanks to our loyal reader GD for this photo, which proves that Brent Musburger was either:

--Wearing a mask for the upcoming release of Point Break 2
--Dusting off his Wicked Witch of the East costume for Halloween
--Dressing up for the premier of The Town last week

Just to mix it up, let's do a little weekend gambling preview...now that the first two weeks are over and the easy winners are gone. Also, we would be remiss if we didn't thank Lane Fucking Kiffin screwing thousands of bettors out of big cash by going for two, TWICE, FOR NO REASON, against Minnesota in the second half last week. The Trojans must really suck if they can only muster 400 yard against Coz's Gopher defense. Hell, South Dakota put up 444 yards.

Miami -3.5 over Pitt: We like the Hurricanes to outclass the Panthers in speed and skill. If you don't bet, bank on a 45-3 UM win. If you do bet it, the 'Canes will sprint to a 21-0 lead before hanging on for a 24-21 win.

Kansas State -5.5 over UCF: Sure the Mildcats are lame. But Bitter Bill knows how to ride a stud RB and will get it done. Too bad it won't be enough two weeks later against Nebraska.

Oklahoma at Cincinnati. OU -17. Who knows. Will the good OU or bad OU show up and will Cincy be able to stave off its third loss this early in the season? Season unders!

Oregon -10.5 at Arizona St.: PYB says the Sun Devils put a lot of heart into their one-point loss to Wisconsin in Madison. If the Ducks get rolling early, this could be a bottle blasting. Oregon's still not that good though.

South Dakota State at Nebraska: Anyone got a line yet? Not sure who is more annoying this week: dork Husker fans who think NU has wrapped up its sixth national title or haters from OU and Texas who don't realize their teams are on the decline and are clinging to their last few years' dominance over NU. Well, until the Sooners had to face NU with their shitty new QB of the future and Texas will do the same in three weeks.

Other games of note:

VaTech at BC: Are the Hokies that bad or will they clip the Eagles' wings?

Fresno State at Ole Miss: Are the Rebels that bad or will they be able to de-fang the Bulldogs?

Bama -7 at Arkansas: Great defense, great coach vs. overrated team with slow 6'8" QB. Hammer the Tide and get rich.

Stanford -3.5 at ND: Will the Cardinal blast ND like they should or play down to ND's mediocre level like most other teams?

Cal at Arizona -6.5: Will the Mildcats be able to bring the energy again this week after their near come-from-ahead loss last week? But they must be legit, they beat IOWA!!!!

UCLA at Texas: Has their ever been a less enticing matchup of big-named teams? Unwatchable.

Surely Utah Jazz management would love watching this video...

Apparently Woody Paige's constant barbs at the state of Nebraska over the last 15 years+ were all a cover up for his shitty fucking life. So a few mountains and a ski pass don't make your life a bowl of cherries? Fuck you Woody. Nobody cares about you, you got enough limelight with your shitty ESPN show. Nobody needs you stealing it now as the Denver Broncos have lost another player to a tragic death.

Huskies Beaten....With a Club...

PYB promises to chime in with a recap from the past weekend and a look ahead soon, but in the meantime enjoy the link here, courtesy of Deadspin.

Thanks also to Juice for the picture of the Sonics fashions in Seattle Saturday--must be the UW version of jean shorts & high tops.

PYB thinks Sarah in Omaha is the dumbest cunt on the planet.

Well let's get to Nebraska's bottle blasting of Washington before we forget. Another Pac-10 bitch is on the canvas after a first-round knockout. Funny how Arizona has conveniently forgotten the 33-0 dismantling it got in the Holiday Bowl, as it clamors that it should be among the nation's elite after a win over Iowa in Lebanon (aka Tucson). A win where the Mildcats blew a huge lead, then won in the end and likely wouldn't have been victorious if the Hawkeyes hadn't spotted them three TDs with special teams gaffes and turnovers....

Anyway, the game in Seattle couldn't have started more perfectly for NU, as Eric Hagg picked off Jake Locker's first knuckleball of the day. Two plays later, NU was in the end zone. A few minutes later, it was 14-0. Sure, UW kept it close, kind of, for the first half and Bo Pelini did his best ro keep Steve Sarkisian's boys close by inserting Cody Green at the worst time possible. PYB is all for getting the backup QB reps, but when you're on the road in a tough environment, save those reps for later. Like when you're up 35, or playing South Dakota Fucking State. Has anyone ever been less excited during a Husker game week than this one? We haven't.

Luckily for Nebraska, its esteemed offensive coordinator remembered in the second quarter that he had two great running backs on his side and started pounding the ball. And after it looked like Barney Cotton's boys would pull their typical big-game choke job by moving the offense backward with an array of penalties, they finally got their heads out of their asses and played power football. Plowed the pussies on Washington's defensive line backward several yards, every play. Plowed them until they didn't want any more. PYB saw Mike Caputo show the first sign of attitude that this unit has shown for more than 10 years. Showed a nasty streak we haven't seen since the mid-1990s. And, NO, Dominic Raiola's fake intensity doesn't count. Can Cotton keep them playing this way? We're doubtful, but perhaps this was the light at the end of the long tunnel.

Brandon Kinnie looked like a great possession option and even broke a long gain when the UW defensive back fell for the oldest move in the book--the one every WR does on every practice rep every day. Mike McNeill reappeared as a threat. Niles Paul didn't fumble. What else can you ask from NU's wide receivers? Roy Helu is averaging more than 10 yards per carry and is still underused. Rex Burkhead is an explosive and sure-handed option.

Defensively, it was another great effort and Bo Pelini didn't have to break a sweat or dig too deeply into his schemes to shut down alleged first-round pick Jake Locker. The Huskies had early success on the ground and scored. NU adjusted, and the running stopped. When UW had some critical third-down plays, Bo called the perfect blitz from the perfect spot in the defense and forced them to punt. Alfonzo Dennard put the icing on the cake, so to speak, most definitely, at the end of the day, with his INT for a TD and showed why he is definitely NU's most high-level CB. Dejon Gomes (or if you're Kirk Herbstreit, DeJuan Gomes) is the groups best playmaker, but Dennard is the top cover man and why people don't see that he's head & shoulders above Prince Amukamara is beyond us. And why NU coaches don't remember how good he was at returning punts is another fucking mystery. But it is what it is.

Anyway, NU fans can relax and sleep through the game Saturday against the Jackoffrabbits from South Dakota State. At least the game is an evening start, so fans can watch the early games then go out and get drunk while watching the Nebraska game. We'll find out more from NU as it goes on the road against a Kansas State team that doesn't have much, but has a tough running game. Hopefully, Nebraska's linebackers and defensive line will be even stronger by then and they can crush Bitter Bill Snyder in Manhattan, making them realize once again why KSU is the most second-rate school in the Big 12. Then, nine days later, comes the matchup against Texas. NU has asked for this for months, and hopefully they don't piss the bed against a perenially overrated but lucky Longhorn team. PYB says NU should be able to pressure Garrett Gilbert and make him submit, but in going 1-7 against Texas, Nebraska finds ways to lose games it should win.

Have we ever learned so little about an NU team after dominating a supposedly good team on the road? PYB says not. The coaches' lack of excitement after the game says not. Maybe they're just doing a good job of hammering the Osborne approach--all business, each week a separate task. We'll find out more in the next few weeks, as Taylor Martinez shows the country whether or not he has the balls to play in a real spotlight or if his magic is just another Crouch-like smokescreen.

My Posse's on Broadway...

Simple Simon says......This is earth-shattering stuff.

PYB hears it's loud in Seattle. Metal roof. Fans have boats. Blah blah. Don't fumble and play defense.

In addition to Nebraska fans invading Seattle with their 1980s gear, there could be a whole lotta munchin' going on as the home folk celebrate the Storm's second WNBA title.

By the way, do the Husker dorks who wear their Nebraska shit on the airplane on Thursday and Sunday have four red outfits for a long weekend roadie? Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday? Maybe Costco has buy one, get three free sales on their jerseys? How many pair of Silver Tabs does a Husker dork bring for a weekend like this? With the rainy clime in the Pacific NW, how many pair of red-laced hightops suffice? PYB wouldn't know, we haven't been to Costco since scouring Lincoln for Five-Star notebooks in college. Please advise if you know.

OK, we are admittedly not in the know about WNBA happenings. But in our research while crafting a crude follow-up joke about the WNBA's largely dykish fan base, we read that Sheryl Swoopes is a lesbian. Then we thought, don't we remember the WNBA's biggest star taking a break some years back to have a child? Turns out you can have your kids and eat pussy too. Who knew? So this gay thing is genetic, huh? Oh, and there is a cruise line for lesbians? Who the hell knew that? Is the ship called the S.S. Lickalottapuss? Do they have dildos you can rent for the trips duration? Need more details. OK, we're done.

Let's cut to the chase. NU vs. Washington. PYB says take NU minus the three and go big on it. Can Nebraska lose this game? Absolutely. A freshman QB's first road game is always a dicey proposition, but if Shawn Watson can keep from stepping on his own dick and outsmarting himself, the Cornhuskers have all the ingredients that are necessary in helping a freshman QB succeed: great running backs, great defense, good kick coverage and a great head coach. Nebraska will need all these factors to contribute and will need Taylor Martinez to play smart football while breaking some big plays. A few others factors to watch for are below, but giving Jake Locker and the Huskies and their faux-riche fans reason to cheer can spell instant doom. Otherwise, Nebraska will be the JR Ewing of Seattle come Saturday afternoon.

--Downfield passing attack (at least a couple big gains)
--Consistent pass rush from the front four
--Timely blitzing by the defensive backs
--Three takeaways or more
--Limited offensive lines gaffes (false starts/holdings)
--Good distance and hang time on downfield punts
--The Paul Factor. Will he stay out of the way or trash NU's hopes?

Enjoy the game. If you're headed to Seattle, we hear there is awesome seafood (Red Lobster) and great music (Nirvana) and lots of rain (36 inches/year) and great coffee (Starbucks and Seattle's Best, too close to call) and awesome football coaching (Pete Carroll) and awesome basketball (Seattle Storm...sorry the Sonics moved to OKC). And if you go to Pike's Place Market or whatever the fuck it's called, wait until closing time and then make the flavored-almond vendor dig through 50 boxes to find the cinnamon-flavored ones like Bomber did in 2003. They're worth it.

Posse up...

Mr. Ed

Shannon Sharpe in trouble. Not surprising considering he has multiple bastards running around with different mothers. And the contained link is a modest estimate compared to the number PYB has previously heard. At least we won't have to hear him lisping and slobbering on the microphone for a while....

Now we have seen it all. How can one player continually suck so badly and keep getting more responsiLIBity??? Last week, the Mildcat offense that he botched. This week, in a HUGE road game, let's let him return kicks!! Great idea!! Can we please end the Niles Paul 'era' immediately? Respect.

Clinton Portis is getting a lot of shit for his view on the NY Jets report flap. Sad thing is, he's right. This was not some professional reporter 'just trying to do her job.' This was a woman who dresses like a skank in many cases, covering Mark Sanchez for some novelty piece on Mexican television. Big difference. Still, Dan Wetzel at Yahoo! Sports is offering his nerd's viewpoint. Sounds like a guy who never got any snatch in college and worshiped every girl who would stoop low enough to talk to him.

Hendry Pens Memoirs....

Good stuff below, courtesy of Yahoo! Sports. Only question is why it took somebody so long?

Was it Ryan Braun or Prince Fielder(notes)?

Doug Melvin or Bob Uecker?

Bernie Brewer or the Polish racing sausage?

Everyone in the Milwaukee Brewers organization remains a suspect after a mysterious prankster tried to distribute a fake press release touting a fake book "authored" by Chicago Cubs GM Jim Hendry in the Miller Park press box over the weekend.

The book in the press release was entitled "How to Finish Near Last Place with the Highest Payroll in the League" and was briefly available to media members near other statistic and quote packets.

Brewers officials confiscated the releases when they were brought to the team's attention, but say they have no clue who might be responsible for the practical joke (which, let's be honest, is absolutely hilarious as long as you're not named Jim Hendry).

Paul Sullivan of the Chicago Tribune has a picture of the press release and shares a few of the proposed chapter titles contained within:

• "Why I signed Milton Bradley(notes)!"

• "Why I released Casey McGehee(notes) only to see him hit 20 home runs and drive in nearly 100 runs for a division rival!"

• "Why I hired former Pittsburgh general manager Dave Littlefield, the man who helped make the Pirates what they are today, as my special assistant!"

• "How I botched the recall of Micah Hoffpauir(notes) from our minor league team in Iow by losing track of the number of days that he was in the minors!"

• "Why I signed players to long-term contracts with limited trade options!"

The Brewers aren't ruling out the possibility of a fan slipping into the press box to complete his or her mission. We can't dismiss that it might have come from a fed-up Cubs fan, either.

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some Cubs blogger steps up and takes responsibility even if they didn't write the thing. You know, kind of like when every terrorist organization raises its hands after a bombing.

So do you want to cop to this, Desipio? How 'bout you, Hire Jim Essian? Anyone want to fess up? Hit me up at bigleaguestew@yahoo.com with your story.

Week 2 Recap

-PYB would be remiss if it didn't start by commending Minnesota Defensive Coordinator Kevin Cosgrove on holding the Coyotes of South Dakota to just 444 yards and 41 points in a narrow loss Saturday. In all fairness, the Golden Gophers had to be physically and emotionally drained after leaving it all on the field by limiting Middle Tennessee State to 318 yards the week before. Cosgrove's defensive philosophy is obviously taking hold in Minneapolis, as he has his unit positioned at 82nd nationally.

A few more games, and Coz should have them in the 110s as normal. The natives are restless, and apparently it's not just the good folks in Lincoln who hate your tired act. If Minnesota wants him gone after barely more than one season, how'd he last four in Lincoln? And more restless, read here. Fight on, coach, as USC comes to town. Good thing the Trojans' offense sucks and will likely only ring up 450 yards or so.

-Is Nebraska's win over Idaho worth reviewing? No, but we'll give a Cliff's Notes version. Hopefully, the turnover problem is an isolated incident, but we all saw this last season at times and there is no rhyme or reason. Shawn Watson continued to show his 'balanced system' against shitty teams, without ever establishing an identity that can win games against good teams. Just like his days in Boulder. Roy Helu cracked 100 yards but got only nine carries and moved to 18th on NU's all-time rushing list. It's so sad to see this talent constantly underutilized. The cut he made before turning the corner to the end zone was next-level material.

The offensive line play seemed uninspired and mediocre, just like every game during the Barney Cotton regime. How NU can finally create some depth but never seem to dominate the line of scrimmage is beyond us. Barney was blabbing something about chasing execution.....whatever the fuck that means. Sounds like just another mantra that losers use for failing once again.

Even more concerning is the fact that NU has no downfield receiving threat. Watson continues to run hitch routes, lulling Taylor Martinez into a false sense of security. Those routes are open continually against bad teams, but they're just recipes for INTs for TDs against real competition. The Wildcat snap to Niles Paul was absolutely brutal.....why not snap to Helu, or even better, Rex Burkhead, the RB who ran it extensively in the Holiday Bowl last season? Wonders never cease with Twatson, however, and his arrogance seems to grow as he lauds the number of weapons he has to choose from. PYB finds his cocksure attitude mystifying, considering he can't find a way to truly integrate Mike McNeill into the gameplan and has yet to find any use for Kyler Reed.

Let's move to defense, where the superb coaching staff can make us forget about the turds running the offense for at least a moment. DBs looked awesome, as expected. They could challenge the 47 interceptions that Pelini's unit got in his first one-season stint at NU. The only liability will be Rickey Thenarse, who despite taking an INT in for a TD, is an accident waiting to happen. He damn near killed Alfonzo Dennard in Week One and got a bad 15-yard penalty against Idaho.

The pass rush was much improved, but the front four will have to prove this week that they can produce the same results against good competition. If they can, it could be a long day for Jake Locker as he tries to decipher Pelini's patented zone coverages. It will be key for linebackers Eric Martin and Lavonte David to keep improving on their leadership while calling the defensive sets. Just a few mistakes in Seattle could lead to early points for the Huskies and big trouble for the Cornhuskers.

As for special teams, NU has been solid but not spectacular. Niles Paul is terrible as usual as punt returner, despite being in the top 10 nationally in yards/return. Tim Marlowe may not look pretty, but has been surprisingly effective. Can he make a difference against D-I coverages? Alex Henery continues to be great at pinning teams deep but is subpar in distance and hangtime. Kick coverage has been pretty good, though Pelini's perfectionist nature has him pissed about some aspect of it.

NU is currently a 4.5-point favorite Saturday. PYB says barring turnovers and a vast number of defensive gaffes, NU covers this rather easily. Come in scared, however, and sprinkle in a few freshman mistakes at QB mixed with Watson's clueless play calls, and trouble is just a second away. Our gut feeling is that Pelini will have his defensive A-Game in tow, limiting Locker and pounding him physically. Will his pupils be up to the task? Stay tuned for more.

-Glad to see Matt Slauson is still a stiff, despite somehow starting for Bill Callahan's offensive line in New York. Haloti Ngata threw him down like a rag doll tonight on MNF. PYB can't believe the face paint didn't intimidate Ray Lewis and the Ravens.

-How the hell can they have a 9:15 pm kickoff in KC for game two of Monday Night Football? At least we've got 14 first-quarter points, though, and more action in two series than we got during the entire Baltimore-New York game. Matt Cassel threw for 68 yards, the Chiefs racked up fewer than 200 total, and KC still beat pussy Phillip Rivers and the Chargers 21-14. Rivers showed his playoff colors last night, as the rain all but paralyzed San Diego's offense.

Saturday Morning Wisdom....

From your local genius Shawn Twatson. Last Saturday, scoffing at a theory from the great John Madden. This Saturday, making excuses for not getting Roy Helu more than five carries.

"Let’s assume Shawn Watson’s neighbor was speaking only for himself. Last week, this could have been your neighbor.
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“After the game last week my neighbor said, ‘You need to get those I-backs some more touches,’’’ said Watson, Nebraska’s offensive coordinator. “I told him they had as many chances to get it as the quarterback. But the defense gave us the quarterback.’’

And to top it off, he offers more excuses for 2009. But PYB will agree that his offensive line did indeed suck. Can they ship both Watson and Barney Cotton out in a package deal?

CFB--Week 2 Preview

Week Two looks to be a great one on the college football landscape, at least with the matchups that are set up for an all-day watching marathon. It starts off early and continues through prime time. If you've got an extra television, you could even put on the USA vs. Lithuania game and watch the Americans flounder in the FIBA World Championships as they try to unravel the mysteries of team basketball. Coach K has got to be shitting himself.

Week Two would be even greater if Roy Helu could get more than five carries. Sure, Shawn Twatson has already been bragging about how many weapons this offense has. But, let us remember, that these are the same weapons (outside of newbie QB Taylor Martinez) that were garbage in 2009. Let's also keep in mind that Helu was the only offensive player that produced big numbers against good teams in tough situations.

Anyway, let's roll down the slate of games and add some more tremendous PYB insight. All times below are AZ time:

9am
UGA at South Carolina: This game looks great on paper but will likely be another 6-3 SEC shootout. You'll be bored 15 minutes in, but at least it gets you to the 9:30 Cornhusker kickoff.

GA Tech at Kansas: It's like watching the scene of a car accident wondering how bad Turner Gill's team will be this year--grisly yet mesmerizing. Wonder how many NU fans still think Gill got screwed when TO picked Bo? Likely as many as think Rat Solich got unfairly oustered by Steve Pederson.

9:30am
Idaho at Nebraska: Terrible game, but fuck, we're all shelling out $39.95 for the PPV or $60 on a bar tab for flat beer and shitty fucking food. Three things to watch: QB development, defensive line play, and whether Coach Twatson figures out how to get Mike McNeill the ball at least twice and Helu more than five times? And a new game: everyone take a shot every time Niles Paul fucks up.

12:30pm
Florida State at Oklahoma: Is FSU on the way back up sans Bobby Bowden? And was the OU near disaster against Utah State just a fluke or the start of the Landry Jones era?

Colorado at Cal: The perfect pre-Pac 10-joining matchup. Meaningless game with no substance, but it could be a great one to watch---especially if CU gets blasted. Also, PYB will be watching to see how big Jeff Tedford's play sheet is this year. We're guessing roughly the size of a windshield.

Miami (FL) at Ohio State: PYB says the Hurricanes just don't have enough to beat the plodding Buckeyes. They still seem too weak and soft with spindly Jacory Harris at the helm. Terrelle Pryor will make enough plays to win, racking up 167 total yards, one TD and two INTs and cementing his Heisman status in a 19-11 win that Kirk Herbstreit calls "brilliant and dominant."

Michigan at Notre Dame: The Wolverines looked as if they Rich Rodriguez's system may finally be taking hold last week. Notre Dame looked just as mediocre as they have been the last 20 years. Will UM find a way to keep improving or a way to screw up another should-be win?

4pm
Oregon at Tennessee: Sure Tennessee is down, but the colors of the uniforms will be awesome, and we'll see if Oregon will try to run up the score like they did vs. UNM last week as they try to prove they belong in CFB's elit. Sidenote: PYB wondered after last week when Nike adorned the Ducks, Boise State and Virginia Tech in cool-looking uniforms....Do they fit as badly as Nike's shoes and golf shirts that we buy off the rack, or does the Swoosh 'step they game up' for the college/pro teams they supply?

Penn State at Alabama: How the fuck did this game get scheduled? Is JoePa's eyesight so bad that he thought Alabama actually said Akron? PYB looks for the Nittany Lions to get blasted. Sure, 2009 Heisman winner Mark Ingram is questionable. But this is more about PSU not being that good and Bama's defense feasting on a true freshman at QB. Of course, ESPN is running taglines asking if Penn State is ready to pull the upset? Anyone with a brain is debating how much they should bet on 'Bama -11.5.

7:30pm
Virginia at USC
Stanford at UCLA--Nobody outside CA or VA truly cares about these games but bettors and degenerate CFB fans will cling to them, as they're the last ones of the evening. We thought Hawaii, UTEP and UNLV played a triangular every Saturday...guess not. Anyway, once 'Bama blows that 28-3 lead and wins by 10, gamblers may need a late winner here....especially considering the largest spread in the NFL games Sunday is seven points. That should be a blood bath. Enjoy.

Lesser games worth noting:
South Dakota at Minnesota: Can Kevin Cosgrove contain the Coyotes? Doubtful.
Iowa State at Iowa: Does anyone outside Iowa care about this heated rivalry? Fuck no.
UNLV at Utah: Sin City vs. Mormon City. Go Rebels.
Wyoming at Texas: Cupcake city, as usual. Never get an ounce of shit, just like Penn State.


Finally, let's move to MLB to give credit to Brian Duensing for another great outing in his breakout season. It seems he's hardly getting any attention, especially compared to MLB-flop Alex Gordon. Not sure if this is due more to the fact that Mike Anderson has successfully made baseball an afterthought in Lincoln, again, or if all the bandwagon "Nebraska baseball fans" have given up their ardent support after a couple rough years.

Respectfully submitted.....PYB

CFB Recap--Week 1

--Is there a worse logo than the one Western Kentucky sported on its helmets Saturday? In all seriousness, an eight-grader could do this. Poker savant Tad Jurgens showed more pride of being 'Born & Raised a Hilltopper' than WKU did with this logo.

--Nebraska clocked in Saturday with an impressive overall performance Saturday, complete with enough highlight plays to excite fans but enough questions marks to keep them paranoid as well. Taylor Martinez showed running ability that NU has not seen since Tommie Frazier---natural ability with the knack for making the last defender miss to either get a first down, make it to the end zone, or break a big play. He also showed a good ability at reading the defense while deciding whether to hand off or run--something NU has not seen since Scott Frost.

Having at least one home run threat, where NU won't have to be perfect for 12 plays, would be a huge plus. We'll see how Martinez performs against real competition, as we should remember how Joe Dailey was anointed the second coming after throwing four TDs against Western Illinois to begin the 2004 season.

--Speaking of home-run threats, it appears Shawn Watson is prepared to let one go to waste this season. Roy Helu got five carries Saturday. Five. What a joke. We're all for preserving your best running back for more meaningful games, but an RB needs more than five touches to knock the rust off and get in tune with his offensive lineman. His benching should keep Nebraska's racist fans happy, however, as Rex Burkhead got seven touches to Helu's five.

--PYB says Michigan looked pretty good Saturday while dominating UConn. QB Denard Robinson was impressive. The Huskies' defense never had a chance. This week we'll find out if Rich Rodriguez's system is taking hold, as the Wolverines get a chance to smack yet-again overhyped and mediocre Notre Dame.

--Niles Paul's preseason proclamation that 2010 will be his breakout season was another crock of shit. Should anyone be surprised? After losing two games with fumbles for the Cornhuskers in 2009, he put another ball on the ground Saturday. To top it off, he dropped an easy pass the next series. And, as always, he looked slow and pedestrian on punt returns. Brandon Kinnie, despite not having any wheels, looked much more reliable as a receiver.

Paul has even saddled his new QB with a stupid nickname, T-Magic, which nerd Nebraska fans have run with already. It is stupid, and so is the 15-year-old trend of taking one's first initial and adding it to the first half of one's last name. A-Rod, K-Rod, T-Mart, fucking gay. No surprise, however, that Levi's-clad NU fans are latching on to this trend.

--Potentially more alarming than Paul's butterfingers was the defensive line's performance. They looked to be getting pushed backward quite consistently during the last 40 minutes of Saturday's game. Most concerning was the defensive-tackle play. Terrence Moore was pushed three yards back with regularity, and looking at NU's roster is frightening. Jared Crick is the only experienced DT. While it's possible for one to emerge like Crick did last season, the lack of established players here could be a sore spot against physical teams. Hopefully, Chase Rome and Thad Randle are on the verge of contributing, as advertised.

--Nice debut by Kansas coach Turner Gill, as the Jayhawks fell to North Dakota State 6-3. Apparently, not cursing and overusing the 'We Love God' angle doesn't win games. Maybe karma will be nicer once you starting tipping the pizza guy.

--Hopefully, the coaches will limit Rickey Thenarse's playing time to special teams only. He almost hurt NU's best defender, Alfonzo Dennard, with a late-hit on a WKU player with Dennard as collateral damage. The guy hasn't grasped the system in four seasons, and he never will. He's dangerous to the team defense concept and his teammates.

--Young linebackers Alonzo Whaley and Lavonte David showed impressive playmaking abilities, but looked to blow some assignments. The defensive line will have to improve to support their development, or things could get ugly against better competition.

--Nice to see Navy's coach pulling a Dave Wannstedt to lose the game vs. Maryland at the goal line. Feel free to call one play in four that is not an option.

--Finally, congratulations to the zebras for ruining what had been a great Boise State vs. Virginia Tech game through 58 minutes Monday night. Picking up the illegal block flag on Boise gave the Broncos at least 40 undeserved yards, and the personal foul on Virginia Tech that moved Boise to the 10-yard line was horrendous. The Chokies aren't without blame, however, as the playcalling and clock management on their second-to-last series were horrendous. Running out of bounds, sideline passes that fell incomplete and stopped the clock....was Frank Solich running this team? The final straw came on the Hokies' last-gasp drive, as Tyrod Taylor decided to throw hail marys every play, rather than stick to the passing game that hard worked all second half. VT had 1:20 remaining and two timeout. Just awful.

--Big week in Week 2. Stay tuned.

Cards Cut Leinart...Fitzgerald Can Breathe Easier

--After nearly killing Larry Fitzgerald in the first preseason game, the Cardinals cut Matt Leinart Saturday after tiring of his diva act. Making the choice easier was that his diva act came with a high-school arm. A good read here, and PYB suspects we'll hear more of the detail as his career fizzles out completely the next 12 months. The inevitable choice became clearer as nary a Cardinal teammate would back Leinart up, in any shape or form, in local radio and television interviews this fall camp.

--Speaking of an NFL fish out of water, who still thinks he's at USC, Pete Carroll and the Seahawks cut TJ Houshmandzadeh Saturday. With the roster move, Carroll made room for former Trojan Mike Williams. The same Mike Williams who couldn't get on the field for the league-doormat Detroit Lions in recent seasons. We've already seen how the USC favoritism has gone, as Lendale White washed out in Seattle in a matter of weeks. The over/under on Carroll being fired is January 15, 2011.

Are You Ready for Some....More of the Same?

Shawn Watson. Who has accomplished zilch in college football....who ran one of the nation's worst offenses last season, who ruined Cody Green's confidence with his shitty play calling, comes up with this gem. He's now smarter than John Madden. Be ready for more arrogant, horrible 'strategy' in 2010. Huge red flag:

Former NFL coach and legendary broadcaster John Madden popularized the adage “If you have two quarterbacks, you've actually got none.” The same would seem to apply to three quarterbacks, but Watson isn't buying it.

“That's narrow thinking in today's world,” Watson said. “What we're doing, we're going to need all three of them this year. We know that. They know that. You can ask them — I'm very straightforward, very honest — and all three of them are going to be needed.”

Football Friday...

If you don't curse and believe in God, you will start winning games. No word on what happens if you start tipping poorly like your head coach.

Quit crying about the Big 11 schedule already. Nebraska got what it wanted. The 2012 slate that is supposedly 'murderer's row' has one above-average team on it--Ohio State. Plus NU hasn't won a title in 13 years so what's the difference? The Cornhuskers got out of that business when they gave Rat Solich the keys to the program.

The Blackshirts lost another non-conference linebacker for 'some time'. Their LB depth in the WKU, Idaho and SDSU games will suffer. Oh well, Will Compton would have been back on the bench against any decent team...just like he and Sean Fisher were last season.

Reason #1000 why the NBA is soft and getting softer. An 'open-door policy' for players to work out at opposing teams' arenas. PYB read about this in the Arizona Republic yesterday. How the hell is this accepted? Would MJ have been welcome at a pickup game at The Palace? Bird at the Forum? Please. Even funnier is the fact that Amare Stoudemire is preaching defense. Good joke.

Why is it common knowledge that Ben Rapelisberger's suspension will be reduced? He raped a girl. "But he wasn't charged or convicted!!" Whatever.

Finally, thanks to 3:10 to Beatrice for sharing his opening-day t-shirt with PYB. Something tells us this will be paired with many a Nike hightop and Levi 501 jorts at Memorial Stadium tomorrow. Not really sure what the hell the shirt means, given the fact that OU and Texas are both rated above Nebraska, but I guess it's the thought that counts when you're a blue collar.

College Football Over/Under, v.2010

PYB follows up its admittedly lackluster 2009 performance (near .500) with some fearless win total over/under predictions for 2010. For the most part, we're rolling with the under, as there isn't one team that stands above the rest this year and most are saddled with a lot of questions marks. Here we go....

Over
Texas A&M--7... The Aggies have supposed superstar Jerrod Johnson at QB, along with three complete pushovers to begin the season. If they can take two out of the next three games at Oklahoma State, home vs. overrated Arkansas, and home vs. shaky Mizzou, aTm is in good shape. Call it a hunch, but this is Mike Sherman's year to continue his college career or limp back to the NFL as a position coach like Bill Callahan.

Virginia Tech--9.5 ... Bettors here are effectively putting their eggs in one basket if they pull the trigger here. If the Hokies beat Boise State Monday, this means Tyrod Taylor showed up for his senior season and they have a great shot for 2010. Lose, and it's curtains. Have fun.

Auburn--8.5 ... Is Auburn that good? No. But most of their opponents are either outright shitty, or shaky at the best....and all the Tigers' tough games are at home except the Nov. 26 Iron Bowl against Alabama.

BYU--8 ... If the Cougars can take down Jake Locker and Washington this weekend, then a Sept. 18 matchup at Florida State looms large. Either way, the schedule eases up quite nicely (save a matchup at TCU) for a team that won 11 games last season. However, the planned two-quarterback system could prove dangerous to bettors' health.

Under
Nebraska--10...Ten is a huge number for a team that failed to field an offense in most games last season. The bad news--that unit returns 10 starters and still hasn't picked a favorite turd at QB. With only one playmaker in Roy Helu, it's hard to see things changing much. Add that to potential pitfalls at Washington, at Kansas State, vs. Texas, at Oklahoma State and at Texas A&M and this is a recipe for disaster. Either way, 10 is just too many.

Texas--10...Bet the under on both the Longhorns and the Cornhuskers, and you're bound to get at least one loss in your favor on October 16. Despite the fact that the media is salivating over Garrett Gilbert's Rose Bowl mop-up duty, he will be a first year starter who has to go to both Norman and Lincoln. Couple that with the other glaring weaknesses that NU and 'Bama exposed late last season, and the under is the play.

Iowa--9... What do you get when you combine a team that isn't that good, is overrated, lost one of its top running backs because he doesn't want to play after supposedly knocking a chick up, and has six losable games on its schedule? The unders!

Arkansas--8.5 ... Paint the 'Hogs as this year's Ole Miss/Oklahoma State. Ridiculous talk about Heismans and national titles abound for a team that went 8-5 last season will only add to the burden. Games at Georgia, vs. Alabama, at Texas A&M, at Auburn, at South Carolina, and vs. LSU only make this bet easier. Load up.

Penn State--8.5 ... Despite the requisite slate of non-conference creampuffs in Youngstown State, Kent State, and Temple, take the unders here. The Nittany Lions have to travel to Alabama, Iowa and Ohio State and will surely drop another game somewhere...especially since they're continually overrated and have decided to go with true freshman Robert Bolden at quarterback. Will we see JoePa sprinting to the shitters again this year, or has he reached the point where he just wallows in his own mess until halftime?

South Carolina--7.5 ... Will South Carolina ever go anything better than 7-5 under Steve Spurrier? No.

Wisconsin--9.5 ... No reason here. Just a hunch. Will lose to Ohio State just because the whole country wants them to win. Game at Iowa is a coin flip, then the Badgers will tank two game just because they're Wisconsin. Book it.

Washington--6... Jake Locker, yes. Schedule--tough as fuck. At BYU, vs. Syracuse, vs. Nebraska, at USC, Arizona State, Oregon State, at Arizona, at Oregon, at Cal, at Washington State. UNDERS!

Cincinnati--8... The Bearcats could realistically be 1-3 after their first four games, considering they start at Fresno, then travel to NC State two weeks later before hosting Oklahoma. Add in the fact that Brian Kelly abandoned them to become Notre Dame's next ex-coach, and Cincy will wander around aimlessly in 2010. Games at UConn and West Virginia don't help, nor does the season finale against 15th-rated Pitt.

Nevada--9.5 ...Yeah yeah yeah, the Wolfpack has the K-Gun or whatever it is and has the best offense ever until you watch them on TV and they can't move the ball and get blasted whenever they play a decent team. They play Colorado State, Cal, BYU, Fresno, and Boise State. They'll lose at least three games.

UNLV--4... This must be bet just so bettors can have late-night action as Saturdays wind down. Couple that with the fact that any team with a win total of four must be really shitty, and you have a great recipe on how to pound those last two Coors Lights and Parliaments that you have no business smoking week after week after week....

Ohio St--10.5 ... This absolutely must be bet for a myriad of reasons. The media's constant overrating of the Suckeyes---the only team who can beat Akron 21-10 in 'dominating fashion' while other teams get lambasted for 'slipping by' conference foes 42-20. Let's list the other reasons while ignoring their weak schedule (a schedule where they'll still likely need multiple last-second FGs to fend off stiffs like Marshall, Frank Solich-led Ohio, Eastern Michigan, et. al.): Terrelle Pryor's scatter arm, general lack of offensive firepower, lack of any offensive identity, and the mounting pressure that shitty teams feel when trying to run the table. Bet this out of spite, bet it all day. Bet it as a big "FUCK YOU" to Kirk Herbstreit, who went from CFB's best analyst to complete ESPN puppet quicker than you could say "Herbstreit you sucked dick when you played and barely started for a .500 OSU team."

Florida--10... Hunch bet. The schedule is not that treacherous. But Urban Meyer's wavering to retirement, leave of absence to prick who confronts reports and threatens them at practice, along with the fact that the Gators are selling the nation on the fact that they have a 'pure passer' again at QB who will lead them to divine deeds better than that of Saint Tebow and you have the type of denial that spells letdown and UNDER ten. Chomp.

Oklahoma--10.5...Schedule doesn't seem to loom to heavily here, but PYB saw Landry Jones several times last year. Saw him suck. And when OU's offense isn't firing on all cylinders, it isn't firing at all. Consider the Sooners have the Red River shootout, at Mizzou, at aTm, and at Okie State and we smell two losses.

USC--9.5 ... We aren't counting the Trojans as dead. There's a shitload of talent there. But there was a shitload of talent in LA for the 25 years that USC sucked before Rah-Rah Carroll came in. Well, he has left for Seattle, though he should be fired soon. The looming NCAA sanctions could serve as a motivator for the Men of Troy, with a proper leader. Alas, their new coach is a complete train wreck who can't follow protocol in any league and can't keep his foot out of his mouth. Hell, even USC-alum Jeff Fisher wanted a piece of him after Lane Kiffin stole a Titans assistant this summer without Fisher's blessing. Let's call it three losses, as the lack of focus catches up to them in games they used to grind out....at Wazzu, at Stanford, Oregon, at Arizona, at Oregon State, Notre Lame and at UCLA.

Well there you have it. PYB will surely miss early and often here, and will be hedging the shit out of its bets from Week 2 until Thanksgiving. Enjoy the season!

Boise State--Man or Mouse?

Thanks to The Donger for the following....


Washington, DC (AP) – After seven long months, the college football season finally kicks off this Thursday. Officially, it begins with the Blue Hose of Presbyterian College traveling to Winston-Salem to take on the Wake Forest Demon Deacons. For you truly die-hards and degenerate gamblers, the game can be seen live on ESPN3.com at 6:30 PM, EDT. Despite there being over 50 games on opening weekend, the season truly gets going on Monday night at FedEx Field in Washington, DC, as third-ranked Boise State takes on 10th-ranked Virginia Tech. The game can be seen at 8:00 PM, EDT, on ESPN and the early line has Boise State as a 2 ½ point favorite, with the over/under at 50.

The game should definitely be a contrast in styles. Boise State returns all 11 offensive starters from the unit that ranked 1st in 2009 (FBS) in points scored at 42.2 points per game. The offense will be led by QB Kellen Moore who threw for 3,536 yards, 39 TDs and an efficiency rating of 161.7. Moore’s favorite target is Titus Young, but he will spread the wealth, as the Broncos have six players returning that caught at least 21 passes in 2009. Young hauled in 79 passes for 1,041 yards and 14 TDs in leading the team in both categories. The running game is led by Jeremy Avery and Doug Martin, with Avery getting a bulk of the work, carrying 209 times for 1,151 yards last season. Avery also had 23 receptions for 257 yards and 1 TD. Needless to say, the Bronco offense is high-powered.

Don’t let those numbers fool you, though. In 2009, the Defense was on the field nearly 30 minutes per game, despite the Broncos quick strike offense. The defense was 14th in FBS in scoring defense, giving up only 17.1 points per game. That number would have been lower, sans three poor defensive efforts in 2009, giving up 34, 35 and 33 points at Fresno State, at Louisiana Tech and vs. Nevada, respectively. The defense returns 10 of 11 starters, led by Ryan Winterswyk and Jeron Johnson. Winterswyk led the team with 9 sacks and 17 tackles for loss, while Johnson had 91 total tackles and 4 INTs. The defense will be stout again.

There could not be more contrasting styles on the offensive side of the ball. The Hokies will grind it out, leaning on Darren Evans and Ryan Williams to carry a majority of the load. Evans missed all of 2009 after tearing his ACL in fall camp last season. In stepped Williams, who set all kinds of freshman records at VT. Williams rushed for 1,655 yards last season, leading the 14th best rushing attack in CFB. The issue for the Hokies is when they throw the ball. Tyrod Taylor, despite being a senior, has never fully grasped the passing game and it showed, as the Hokies were 95th in the country last season in passing offense. When Taylor does connect with someone, it’s typically Jarrett Boykin. Boykin is coming off a 40 reception season, with five touchdowns and 835 yards.

The Hokie defense was its usual stout self in 2009. The team ended up ranked ninth in the nation in scoring defense, allowing only 15.6 points per game. The Hokies gave up 20 points or more four times in 2009. Three of those times were all three of their losses – 34 vs. Alabama, 28 @ Georgia Tech and 20 at North Carolina. The lone win was a 34-26 win at Duke. Other than that, the Hokies gave up 10, 15, 7,14, 3, 9, 10, 13 and 14 points. In those 9 wins, that is an average of 10.5 points per game. Only four starters return this season, so it is paramount that Bud Foster reloads and reloads quickly. John Graves will head the defensive line, with Barquell Rivers heading the backers and 4 year starter Rashard Carmichael leading the DB’s.

The final analysis says that the tempo of the game will go a long way to determining the outcome. If the Hokies can get their ground game going, keep their young defense off the field for long stretches and keep the highly partisan crowd in the game, then they should come out on top. However, if Moore & Company is successful early, and often, throwing the ball, the game could become one-sided. Given the Hokies’ historic success on ESPN, Tyrod Taylor’s feet, the long travel for Boise, the National Championship hype/pressure on Boise and the home Maroon & Orange crowd, the feeling here is a Hokie victory, albeit by a narrow margin….

….call it 21-17, Hokies.

~The Dong