New Year's Resolution

After a horrifying, mystifying and embarrassing Nebraska performance Thursday night in San Diego, PYB is making a resolution for 2011. After this column, there will be no mention of Cornhusker football as long as offensive coordinator Shawn Watson is still a part of the program. We've banged our head against the wall for too long while watching the same mistakes and limitations hound the Huskers. Nothing will get better until he's jettisoned, and the OWH's Dirk Chatelain says it best.

Let's go down the list of the contributors to last night's debacle, and we apologize ahead of time if there is no rhyme or reason to our rant. But then again, if NU's coaches don't have to be organized and NU's players don't have to try, why the hell should we?

Quarterback
Taylor Martinez is absolutely terrible. He has been for the last two-thirds of the season. Unless he has a 10-yard wide hole to run through with a straight path to daylight, you can count on one of the following:

--Going into a turtle shell and taking a sack whenever a defender gets within five yards
--Missing a cutback lane that would get him five to 20 more yards
--Trying to force a pass to a covered receiver (or even do a Favre flip pass)
--Fumbling
--Gaining three yards less than he should because he shies away from contact

It is now apparent that Martinez is a one-trick pony, with that trick being running straight ahead as fast as he can. PYB would have never thought it possible, but he has fewer moves than Eric Crouch. Throw any situation at him that requires toughness, decision making, lateral movement or leadership, and he's shot. You can expect shaky times out of young QBs, but when Martinez continually folds under pressure, it's time to go to senior Zac Lee and hope ball security and sound decisions will pull you through a tough situation.

Martinez should not have a future as a quarterback at Nebraska. Offer him another position, or let him transfer to a mediocre team where his daddy can meddle in daily operations and where he can play the Big Man on Campus.

Mistakes
As much as PYB loves the upside that Bo Pelini can bring to Nebraska, his act has begun to wear thin on us. Is he too stubborn? Too loyal to his subpar assistant coaches? Whatever it is, 100 yards of penalties and multiple turnovers in every big game will simply not cut it. Last night, it was 12 penalties for 102 yards, three fumbles and an interception. Of the three fumbles, NU lost one. But the other two were lost plays in an offense that is so bad that it can't afford to give away downs.

Pelini keeps saying the turnovers and penalties are unacceptable, but nothing ever changes. It cost NU losses against Texas Tech, Iowa State, Texas A&M and Oklahoma the past two seasons. It embarrasses the school and the state on national televison--over and over again.

Last night's no-show was an addition to alarming pattern. Does Pelini's fiery style leave the team prone to peaks and valleys? In 2010 alone, NU lost or nearly lost to four awful teams: Texas, Washington, South Dakota State and Kansas. Throw in the near-loss to a not awful, but subpar Iowa State team this season and the 9-7 loss at home to the Cyclones in 2009, and something doesn't add up. Regardless of talent, championship teams rely on consistency. Can Pelini get his team's attention every week? That remains to be proven.

Finally, the coach's future at NU will rely on making the tough calls about his questionable (being very kind here) assistant coaches. First, you have Watson, who we'll address later. Then you have Barney Cotton, who's flown under the PYB radar for the majority of this year. His line showed flashes of dominance, but has been mostly bad the last four games. Is that more of a product of a flawed offensive game plan, where the linemen can't get a rhythm of run or pass blocking (Todd Blackledge intimated this last night on the ESPN broadcast)? Or is it a lack of good coaching and player development. That's for Bo to decide, and quickly.

The same goes for Ted Gilmore and the receiving corps. Nebraska hasn't had a deep threat in ages. Is Gilmore the problem, or is it the talent level? Or the poor pass routes that require NU QBs to throw the ball 35 yards across the field to gain five yards? PYB suspects it's the latter two elements, but Pelini will again be the judge and jury on this one.

Personnel
Admittedly, PYB bought into the propaganda--that NU came to San Diego with victory on its mind. The DUI arrests of Baker Steinkuhler and Rickey Thenarse should have told us different. Nebraska's defense was good this year, not great. The Blackshirts didn't make many plays in 2010. Didn't cause turnovers. Didn't score touchdowns. They will have to be better, whether or not NU improves its offensive ineptitude. Too many games were marred by missed tackles, and Thursday night was another. So much for Pelini's claim that the unit could be better without Ndamukong Suh.

That being said, NU held ESPN's dear friend Jake Locker (who, according to Chris Fowler and Blackledge could be the second QB in history to be drafted because he's a nice guy and stayed for his senior year) to 5-for-16 passing for 56 yards. They did give up 268 yards rushing but got ZERO support from the offense.

We are not sure how players can be starters for half a season, then not play a down the last six games even though their replacement is clearly overmatched by Division I competition. Safety Austin Cassidy was a big reason why NU surrendered its big lead over Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship game, and he was equally bad against Washington. He looks scared of contact, is two steps slow and finishes plays by playing patty cake instead of lowering the shoulder, bringing back horrifying visions of Philip Bland and Dion Booker. Guys like PJ Smith better find their way out of Pelini's doghouse, and quickly, or the defense will be playing its first season in the Big 10 with some glaring holes.

There's no question that Pelini has improved the team's talent immensely in his three years. The main question is where is the fire? Where is the leadership? Where is the badass that makes sure the team is fired up to play a meaningless game? PYB sees none. Are there too many young players? Too many soft players from the West Coast? Roy Helu, Eric Hagg, Prince Amukamara, Cameron Meredith, Rickey Thenarse, Dejon Gomes. All are nice guys and above-average players. But do they have the internal fire to get nasty, overcome the fear of failure in pressure situations and do whatever it takes to win? The results say no. When NU needed a big play, nobody made one.

Shawn Watson
Can PYB beat this dead horse any more? It's possible, but not productive. The bottom line is that Watson needs to be gone. And for lack of any more words to describe his ineptitude, we'll defer to former 49er Head Coach Mike Singletary: "Can't run with him, can't pass with him, can't win with him......can't do it."

Rather than string us along for four quarters last night, Watson showed the world in one drive why he no longer belongs at Nebraska. The team had engineered a nice first drive to cross the 50-yard line for one of the few times, and he went back to the Wildcat with Rex Burhkead. Instead of hammering the run at the Husky defense that had surrendered 56 points to NU in the first game and was reeling from injuries, Watson called for a trick pass play. Ben Cotton was wide open, but Burkhead fumbled. Washington recovered and scored to make it 7-0. Game over.

That drive should have been about imposing the offensive line's will on UW, convincing them that they were again going to be dominated and be forced to like it. Instead, Twats got fancy and screwed the pooch. Just like the Oklahoma game.

NU fans can only hope that he gets the Miami Ohio job. Pelini says he expects all his assistants to be back. Hopefully, he's lying. If he's not, we say: "You cannot be serious!"

By the time Nebraska went out with a whimper on its final drive, Blackledge was again making fun of Watson's playcalling...asking why the OC would dial up a play-action pass on 3rd and 11 when the run game had been unsuccessful all night. PYB made fun of Watson, because Mike McNeill was running wide open all drive and then on 4th and 16, Watson felt it was absolutely necessary to throw a 50-yard bomb instead of trying to convert the first down. Proof positive that something has to give.

The evidence is too strong and too consistent. The offensive line can't open holes against above-average teams. The quarterback play is embarrassing. The playcalling is atrocious, and the game planning is nonexistent. Even the defensive effort and tackling were wildly inconsistent. Turnovers remain a burden that become too heavy to bear in close games.

Does Pelini care enough to change? Does he want to face the fire in the cauldron of NU football. Lord knows it has to be annoying. Will he forge the Cornhuskers into championship steel? Will he be content to let them flounder as also-rans? Or will he himself run for the hills for more money at another school or the bright lights of the NFL? So many questions, and no answers.

After each uninspired effort, we're sick of asking them. Can't ask 'em, can't answer 'em, can't do it......

Double Duty

Maybe we know why Bo Pelini is always pissed. Must be tiring coaching the Nebraska football team AND starring in Harry Twatter movies....Check the 1:45 mark here....

MIZ-CHOKE

Well, Mizzou pulled off another patented choke job, as the Tigers fell 27-24 to the lowly Iowa Hawkeyes in the 2010 Insight Bowl in Tempe, Ariz. This one was capped by Blaine Gabbert's horrid interception that came right as it looked like Missouri was going in for the game-clinching TD with just more than five minutes remaining. Instead, a guy name Micah was running the other way for a defensive touchdown while sealing the Tigers' reputation as perennial pretender in the process.

Gabbert may as well pull his name from NFL Advisory Board consideration. We saw that he's not NFL material and may never be. He shies away from contact, turtles, and throws off his back foot any time a pass rusher gets within five yards of him. Of course, we'll have to hear how he IS a future NFL star because he had 434 yards passing and has a BIG arm (Joe Flacco, part II). But those of us who have watched Gabbert know that when the lights are bright, Mizzou's hopes for a win were dim.

Coach Gary Pinkel doesn't do Gabbert any favors, NEVER throwing downfield and clinching his QB the title of King of the Four-Yard Pass. His Tiger defense was also gashed for 219 yards by mediocre running back Marcus Coker, who was filling in for the transferring wimps, drunks and potheads that made up the Hawkeye depth chart before him.

PYB saw one pass thrown downfield over 15 yards, as Gabbert's 57 passes for 7.6 yards/attempt would indicate. Mizzou has the same problem as Nebraska under blockhead offensive coordinator (and hopefully soon-to-be head coach at Miami Ohio) Shawn Watson--they have to be perfect for 15 plays to score a TD and the playcalling is so gimmicky and inconsistent that mistakes are bound to occur during a long drive.

Even though Gabbert ultimately ("I got greedy" is apparently the new excuse for throwing it right to an opposing player) cost the Tigers another chance at a win while in the national spotlight, the replay officials decided to screw Missouri as well. After his inexplicable INT for a TD the drive prior, Gabbert was leading the Tigers down the field for the game-tying/winning score and converted a fourth-down pass on a great catch by receiver T.J. Moe. However, the play was reversed and subsequently made INCORRECT by replay officials who were obviously eager to get to the Hooters on nearby Mill Avenue for some post-game beers with out-of-shape, ugly waitresses. There was NO evidence that confirmed that Moe juggled the pass and the fact that officials could screw this up is horrifying.

The most humorous part of the meltdown is this claim by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, pronouncing Mizzou as a great traveling school because it brought 7,100 fans. The 53,000 attendance number is an out-and-out lie, as the capacity of Sun Devil stadium is 73,379 and there were empty corners on both sides of the lower level and the ENTIRE upper level on one end zone was covered with Insight Bowl logos to make it less embarrassing. The Insight committee's decision to take the hapless Tigers over Nebraska cost the economy millions of dollars in a down economy. Luckily for Iowa, it saved the Hawkeyes a bottle blasting at the hands of the Cornhuskers.

So go ahead Tiger fans, keep acting like you're among the nation's elite while the rest of the country just laughs. There's another Gabbert waiting in the wings to maintain the pretender status while Blaine ponders a jump to the UFL.

Meet Me in Midtown...

Wow, if Omaha wasn't big time before it certainly is a major metro area now. First, a PF Chang's, then a Cheesecake Factory, then a Costco, then a new area of town called Midtown is contrived to make it feel just like Sex & the City......now an ugly slut Top-40 music 'star' comes to town to drink in a dumpy area of town at some dumpy bar! What's next? Bob Seger at the Qwest? College World Series? Oh wait, DONE and DONE. No biggie.

Speaking of shitty things that think they're awesome...Niles Paul tweeted that he's back! Great. Husker fans hated having Rex Burkhead handle punt duties with sure handedness...it was too relaxing. Paul was also compelled to tell everyone how much shit Washington talked in the first game in Seattle. This, from the biggest talk-and-do-nothing player in Nebraska history. Husky players were probably making fun of Paul, asking how the hell he got a Division I scholarship.

NBA Power Rankings....12/27/10

Thanks to AZ Buckeye for his final NBA power rankings to 2010. The Pretty Ponies return to the top of the heap, for now. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!!!!!

The final Top 10 of the year!

1. Mavericks – Big wins on the Florida trip, giving Miami its last two losses, and matching the Spurs' hot start. Dirk is my MVP so far this year.

2. Spurs – Best record in the NBA at 26-4. San Antonio’s strength of schedule picks up steam starting this week, Lakers and Dallas to finish their year.

3. Celtics – Beasts of the East so far this year. Ran into a buzzsaw on Christmas Day, losing to the Magic.

4. Heat – Have been unbeatable except to the Mavericks the last month. LeBron with huge games on the road against the Knicks and Lakers.

5. Jazz – Jerry Sloan is leading his charges once again to the top of their division. The schedule is very favorable to start the year for Utah.

6. Lakers – The Lakers has been going through the motions, and they have struggled mightily. Kobe seems like the only one with anything in left in the tank.

7. Thunder – Durant is scoring at will. Thunder, next to the Suns, have played as tough as schedule as anyone in the league so far this year.

8. Magic – Talk about a team you don’t know what is coming next. Struggled in December but seemed to have righted the ship with big wins over the Spurs and Celtics. Will be interesting to see how the trades pan out for this club.

9. Hornets – The NBA-owned franchise keeps rolling into the New Year. Monty Williams is my coach of the year so far for putting this team into the playoffs if the season ended today.

10. Knicks – The reunion of Mike D’Antoni and Amare Stoudemire has come up roses so far this season as the excitement in MSG is back. Would be great to see this make the playoffs once again just for the organ player (DE-FENSE!!!) and their great crowds. (Editor's note: Stoudemire will fade in the playoffs due to his lack of offensive post game and his terrible team D. Weak side blocks don't count as playing tough defense.)

Songs that Suck II, Reader Submissions

Thanks to PYB readers for helping with more terrible songs. By basically doing this entry for us, you're definitely making our holiday laziness easier to overcome. I AM THE CHAMPION....

Game in question with just a few seconds to go?
--Pressure, David Bowie
--Pressure, Billy Joel
--Final Countdown, Europe

Player just traveled?
--Walk this Way (Thanks, Brent)
--Walk of Life (Thanks, Swift)

First-down measurement upcoming in football?
--Walk the Line (Witnessed during the horrid FIU vs. Toledo bowl game Sunday)

Instant replay review
--Sabotage, Beastie Boys (Thanks, Swift, but no idea how they think Sabotage fits)

Baseball
--Another One Bites the Dust (still used by the Chicago Bulls after wins)

Songs that are just plain tired, still being driven into the ground:
--Cotton Eye Joe (Thanks Greg....was it ever not tired?)
--Anything coming from ESPN's Jock Jams CD. Volume 1 or Volume 2.
--Crazy Train (only scums whose glory days were 1981 think this is intimidating)
--Paradise City
--Welcome to the Jungle, for that matter
--Back in Black (When Nebraska's Blackshirts come on the field...get it? Black/Black)
--Anything by AC/DC, for that matter (with one exception)
--Sirius (though still deemed fresh by NU fans despite the Chicago Bulls using it 20+ years ago--when crowds were still raucous.)
--Hip Hop Hooray (also overheard during Sunday NFL action after a good play for the home team)
--Rock & Roll Part 2 (why? it's only 38 years old...almost 39.)
--Any thing by KC & the Sunshine Band

Any we missed? Keep 'em coming....

Merry Christmas, Punk Ass Bitch

As PYB recoils in disgust about the Iowa Hawkeye semi being parked at the high school three blocks from its house, we ponder what's most entertaining about this video of Mississippi State basketball players Renardo Sidney and Elgin Bailey trying to beat the shit out of each other but ultimately failing because they were too slow, too fat and too stupid.

Check the Worldwide Leader for further footage, as they're pasting it everywhere on SportsCenter. They must be hogging the goods, as attempts to find what we saw on ESPN were unsuccessful.

1. The looks of horror on some of the Hawaiian fans nearby
2. The looks of amusement on the other Hawaiian fans nearby
3. Wondering what thoughts are behind those smug smirks on the amused fans
4. The fact that all the MSU players are dressed like scum bags. No dress code enforced by the coaching staff? PYB says it's not too hard to at least make them wear sweatsuits.
5. The complete lack of regard for the numerous tiny, elderly fans that they almost flatten while flailing their fat asses around the arena.

Kickstart My Bowl Week

Somebody blow up Bristol. PYB forgot how god damn annoying this song was last year, and somehow ESPN is using it again this year. I Am the Champion, Play Like a Champion. B.o.B--what a clown. Nice glasses. Fag.

Why not torture us all some more with this gem? We're sure you never got sick of that during the NBA Playoffs several seasons back.

Or how about this one? Surely we are all eager to hear this one a few more times...To the East Coast, to the West Coast...

Thanks for doing your best, ESPN, to ruin Bowl Week. As if forcing the UConn women's 89-game win streak down the viewers' throats wasn't enough. This just in: nobody cares and the streak doesn't mean shit. Not because they're women, but because the depth of competition in women's basketball is woeful.

While we're talking about shitty songs, let's talk about annoying stadium songs. You know, the ones where they use the witty strategy of playing a song that goes along with what is about to happen or just happened in the game? So GENIUS!! We'll take reader submissions for these, as there are too many to count or remember in one sitting.

We'll obviously reserve Sell Out for ESPN.

Traveling in basketball:
-Walking on Sunshine
-Walking on the Sun
-Traveling Man

Ready for Kickoff?:
-Start Me Up
-Let's Get it Started
-Kickstart My Heart

Instant Replay by the officials?:
-Jeopardy theme
-The Waiting by Tom Petty (good joke!)

Give up a goal in the NHL?:
-We're Not Gonna Take It!
-Get Over It! Get Over It!
-Elton John I'm Still Standing!!

Jump ball in basketball?:
-Obviously some time for Kris Kross Jump! Jump! or House of Pain Jump Around, duh!
-Or even Van Halen, Jump!

This is what you get as sports gets whored out and all the teams let the nerds in charge of the marketing and the music.

The only cool one PYB has witnessed to date--Drowning Pool as we watched a five-on-five hockey fight at the Phoenix Roadrunners game followed by the PHX goalie beating the shit out of the Idaho Steelheads goalie to the soothing sounds of Bodies. Fight video one and fight video two. So money.

Readers don't be shy, we need your help on this one. As a parting shot, we'd like to suggest this one every time Tiger Woods tees off. Ten dolla, two hour.....

NBA Power Poll 12/21/2010

1. Spurs – Keep rolling along and showing no signs of slowing down. Manu has been outstanding at clutch time.

2. Celtics – Right on the heels of the Spurs as they have now won 13 in a row. Shaq is back and the Celtics just keep getting stronger.

3. Mavericks – Recovered fully from the hiccup against the Bucks and back to winning with Dirk stroking it as well as he ever has.

4. Lakers – The Lakers once looked beatable losing 4 in a row earlier in the season are now winners of 5 in a row and looking like they are ready for a big run.

5. Heat – Took longer than expected but this is the type of basketball I thought we would see from Miami this year. Mike Miller is healthy and ready to debut.

6. Jazz – After the Hornets ripped the Jazz to shreds on Friday, Utah fully recovered to win on Saturday night. Tell me again why Gordon Heyward went early?

7. Thunder – Tough loss at home against the short handed Suns team at home was a surprise. Thunder shooting over 84% FTs as team this year, NBA record pace.

8. Bulls – Noah out 8-10 weeks is going to be a thorn in the side for this club who had just gotten Carlos Boozer healthy.

9. Nuggets – As long as they don’t trade Carmelo to the Knicks they should keep their perch in the Top 10.

10. Magic – Anxious to see how all this wheeling and dealing pans out for Orlando. I liked the trade with Phoenix, except for losing the pick. Getting Arenas is like rolling the dice. Both he and Rashard Lewis have terrible contracts.

Hoops Jones

This is rich. Allegedly Dwight Howard is requiring the Orlando Magic to win the NBA championship for him to return in 2011-12. That's funny, as PYB seems to remember him riding the bench in numerous critical playoff situations due to his career free throw percentage being 59 percent. Throw in the fact that his pool of low-post moves is shallower than a California coke slut, and he's not much for helping the Magic meet his ridiculous demands.

Now Orlando has brought in the mercurial Agent Zero to save the day. It couldn't be Howard's problem to solve, must be the role players' problem. So jettison Rashard Lewis and bring in Gilbert Arenas. Howard is not even in the top 30 on most fantasy basketball draft boards and he's dropping win or walk decrees? We all know today's pampered pussy athlete just 'deserves' a ring. To quote George McFly, it is his density.

Look at poor Larry Fitzgerald in Arizona. He racked up huge numbers thanks to Kurt Warner's accuracy and the Cardinals' lack of a running game, despite the fact that he doesn't have blazing speed. Warner knew how to get it to Fitzgerald short over the middle and on deep jump balls. Now, with the Cards struggling to find Warner's replacement, it's "they better find a QB quick or Larry is gone. He wants that ring."

Why don't we just get it over with, and if a player is really good, just give him a a certain number of rings based on how good he is and then we wouldn't have to waste time playing the games. And we wouldn't have to hear these pussy-assed millionaires whine like school girls. Everybody wins.

--In its first game without Christian Standhardinger, the Nebraska basketball team racked up its seventh straight win by blasting Eastern Washington 72-42 (attendance 5276). PYB won't be able to offer much analysis, since the game wasn't televised. But as we're certainly disappointed (but not surprised) to see Standhardinger go, it could be for the best.

Not because NU couldn't use his talents, but because it may force Doc Sadler to pare down his rotation to a reasonable, effective number. Last night, there were 10 in that rotation before a few more players got garbage time. If NU could somehow find a way to expel Brandon Ubel from that group, we'd have something. Statistics for this romp aren't even important, except for Nebraska's four for 18 shooting from three-point land.

What is important is the fact that Huskers held its overmatched opponent to 21 percent from the field and 42 points. Lance Jeter and Brian Diaz had good games, and Toney McCray and Caleb Walker chipped in as well. The main question is whether they'll be able to translate this production to the Big 12 slate. We won't know that until January, and won't get any more clues as the Huskers' final three non-conference games are a joke. A bad joke.....read Grambling, North Dakota and Savannah State.

Speaking of jokes, if NU executive associate athletic director (huh?) Marc Boehm believes this propaganda he is selling he is not a smart man. Supposedly, NU officials are "mystified" about why the students don't come to games. He thinks that winning will solve the horrible attendance. Actually, what would solve it is creating a fun game day environment. Fun does not mean using the awful HuskerVision to have Runza Rex the dinosaur sing to all the little kids in the audience. It does not mean having three fat, pasty nerds wearing wacky outfits jumping up and down like they're Cameron Crazies before tiring out because they're 25 pounds overweight and the score is 3-2 with 13:42 remaining.

Fun means scheduling some real competition. Fun means going up against the best teams in the country, cheering your ass off for two hours, and seeing how your team stacks up against the Top 25. PYB says NU fans would rather be blown out by 20 points by a great team than beat Savannah State by 35. That way, you know where the program stands, how far it is from being where it needs to be and what it is going to take to get there.

Nebraska volleyball does this very thing. So does Gonzaga. Look at the Zags' non-conference slate so far this season: at Kansas State, at Marquette, Illinois, at Washington State, at Notre Dame and at Baylor. Gonzaga suffered some early blowouts, then a near miss at Notre Dame....and low and behold, they won at Baylor (in Dallas) yesterday. It's better to have tried and lost than to not have tried at all. If it is all about making budget, then cancel the whole fucking program and you're guaranteed not to lose money.

So let's take stock. Despite all the naysayers (most notably the OWH's Dirk Chatelain on a late evening Twitter rant), Nebraska is 9-2. The Big 12 schedule will tell us all we need to know. A 6-10 record would probably be called a success, and 8-8 would be a miracle. We can wait to see those results, before mailing in another season and calling for Doc's head.

But for NU athletic department officials to claim they have no understanding as to why the crowds are sparse and uninspired is disingenuous. To blame it on the economy and NU not winning is pathetic, and to not do anything about it is despicable. They can't control recruiting or the coaching, but they can impact the game environment. They can influence the schedule.

But, just like at most companies, finger-pointing outmatches taking action. Media, fans, coaches, ADs and marketing staff all have been eager to attribute the blame to those nasty outside forces. Nobody has has the gall to reach inside, make the tough decisions and make the changes that are needed. It could get worse before it gets better, but how much worse could it really get? Maybe quite a bit if NU's administration is as clueless as it sounds.

This is a job for someone willing to take a risk (not in most Nebraskans' makeup), someone willing to tell the truth even if it will piss people off, someone willing to make a difference. Sounds like a job for PYB.

--Co-defensive coordinator at Indiana. Huh? They need two buffoons for this job? Two coaches to absorb the latest round of 42-17 beatings? Good luck, Mr. Ekeler. Do you still have that Gold Medal??

Early rumor has Doug Colman as a possible replacement. A personal PYB favorite since Colman saved our hide from a severe beating once during a pickup basketball game at the campus recreation center. Seems former Husker Darren Williams was pissed that the scrub team full of white guys was pounding his team and not afraid to talk right back at him. Somehow, this pissed him off to the point of near-violence, so thanks to Colman for the assistance.

--Finally, how has PJ Smith been the mouthpiece for the Blackshirts this week in talking about dominating Jake Locker & Washington? The guy hasn't played in two months after getting benched for missing tackles and assigments but is talking like he's Ronnie Lott. Amazing.

Monsters of the Midway????

--This would have to be enough to make Dick Butkus puke. A Chicago Bear whining about a frozen fucking field....and making about 1000 times more than Butkus and the real tough guys did in their heydays.

--Mike Shanahan just hit the panic button. Benching Donovan McNabb....maybe. It's still a bullshit move considering the Redskins' best weapon is of third-receiver caliber in Santana Moss and The Rat Shanahan's backfield has been a less-than-stellar running back-by-committee. Either way, going with Rex Grossman is the NFL equivalent to signing your death certificate.

Guess what, Mike, this ain't Denver and the Mile High Salute is 13 years past its prime. Not hard to see he's trying to deflect blame for Washington's disappointing season onto McNabb and off of himself, as he grovels for another year wearing the headset for Daniel Snyder.

--Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Guess who's back? We are so relieved....

--Bo Pelini didn't go to Miami, but why is he always the story? Is it because Nebraska media don't have shit else to cover, or because he's a dick, or because he's a drama queen?

--"Six feet tall but I feel like Yao Ming, standing in the lane surveying everything." The Chinese big man's career takes another crushing blow. He'll have to go the way of Mutombo and Bol and raise money from now on...

--Is there a better cheer in sports than the New York Knicks' organ & DE-FENSE chant? Ifyes, send them in to PYB....

--Awesome. Was the a windshield in front of his face?

--Cool band gig...

--Wow. Sheesh. Wow. This would be like Eric Crouch getting called away from his swingset business to play for the Omaha Nighthawks!

--Tony Romo is a dicksucker. We are not hating on him for banging another hot chick. It's the fagotty hat that he insists on wearing and his Peter Perfect enunciation at press conferences while explaining his team's latest flop. Fuck you.

--Finally, we were thining poor Lamar Odom...until it's shown he was Photoshopped into this embarrassing, skank-laden bit. Couldn't he bang another slut that was better looking with less baggage and camera time?

Another Season on the Brink...

PYB gives crucial thanks to The Donger, who chimes in with his State of Cornhusker Hoops entry, as we tend to other personal commitments. An insightful op-ed here, as we wait to see if Doc & Crew will make progress in the Big 12 this year or go down in flames once again....

We are one third of the way through the 2010-11 Nebraska basketball season, and we do not believe that we have the answers to too many of the questions that loomed over this program in the preseason. One of the major preseason subjects was the lack of strength of NU’s schedule, and to date, it has proven to be weaker than anticipated. With the exception of Vanderbilt (RPI, 19), NU has played a schedule that even Chadron State would be ashamed of. NU’s 10 opponents have an average RPI of 159. If you remove Vanderbilt, that number balloons to 175. It’s no wonder that the average attendance for the seven home games is less than 5,500 (although NU lists it as nearly 8,500 – year, right).

With a murderous Big XII schedule looming, will the Huskers be able to even compete night in and night out? The Big XII currently has half of its teams in the Top 60 of the RPI – Kansas (3), Kansas State (18), Missouri (27), Baylor (32), Texas (47) and Texas A&M (51). Oklahoma State is just outside the Top 60, at 69. This observer says that 4-12 would be a successful conference season. If NU can finish off the non-conference season at 12-2, they should see their current RPI of 109 rise and continue to rise during the conference season. With a 4-12 conference record, a 16-14 overall (prior to the Big XII tourney) could be enough to gain NU a berth in the College Insider.com tournament. In other words, the picture for the final year in the Big XII is NOT a good one.

Doc Sadler has touted this bunch as his most athletic team and one that can play in the highly competitive Big XII, regardless of the opponent. The sudden emergence of Caleb Walker & Tony McCray have pushed that statement closer to being true, rather than false, but in totality, the jury is still out. The emergence of those two, however, has been offset by the suspensions of Kamyron Brown and Christian Standhardinger. While Brown’s value to the team was, at best, a guess, Standhardinger is a proven scorer that could play 12 to 15 minutes per game and create matchup problems on the offensive end of the floor, without being a complete liability on defense (Editor's note: this last point on the Kraut's D is debatable). If he is to leave school at semester to go back to Germany and play for money (or Euros, or Franks, or whatever the hell they use over there), which is the current rumor in Lincoln, that would be a devastating blow to the depth of a team already limited with talent.

The positives are that Doc seems to have settled into an eight-man rotation, which is significantly better than trying to play 12 people per game. Lance Jeter does not get enough respect as a PG in the league and it says here that he could play significant minutes for any team in the Big XII, with the exceptions of KU & KSU. Brandon Richardson seems to have found his shooting touch and is finally playing both ends of the floor. Expect his minutes & contributions to continue to increase.

Drake Beranek has been a pleasant surprise and can obviously shoot the ball with no limit on his range. The downside to Beranek is that he couldn’t guard any of the guards on Nebraska's women’s team and needs seven to nine feet of space to get his shot off (IE, Paul Velander, Cary Cochran). If Andre Almeida could get off the Joe McCray diet plan, and shed 25 to 30 pounds prior to the conference season, he could contribute more than seven minutes per game and Doc would have more options with both McCray and Brandon “Keller” Ubel. If either of those two have to log significant minutes playing the four or five position, forget about it. Season over.

In short, while the team has logged decent wins over USC, Creighton & TCU (after a horrific trip to Puerto Rico), NU seems to be very limited as to its chances of success in the conference-–despite Doc’s mastery with the Xs and Os. Expect one, or two road wins for NU, with one being an upset over a double-digit favorite. Missouri or Baylor will be the best opportunities. Winnable road games at Iowa State, Colorado and Texas Tech will carry disappointment in two of them – with a blowout loss at Colorado. Lastly, NU will be competitive at home against most teams, but, again, the conference schedule is, at best, brutal. Feels like a 4 – 12 season.

If Mike Anderson wasn’t the baseball coach at NU, we would have that to look forward to. Another long winter in Lincoln.

~The Dong

Big 10 Award Addendum

PYB regrettably forgot one Big 10 Award that should be added....The Krenzel: This goes to the conference player that is completely devoid of any athletic ability, who is exalted to Joe Montana proportions because his team gets lucky wins and he has a good GPA. When trying to explain his team's inability to score more than 13 points, the announcers cue directly to how tough his major is and how he had to study four hours for a test last week. A BIOLOGY test--Which is nothing more than memorization and can be done by any 18-year-old with half a brain.

This award is in honor of former Buckeye and NFL washout, Craig Krenzel, who majored in molecular genetics and used his massive intelligence to work as a radio announcer. His Wikipedia entry describes his mediocre talents more glowingly, saying "He was known for his clutch play, smart decision making, and accuracy."

Hello, poor man's Zac Lee.

NBA Power Rankings....12/14/10

Weekly Top 10 – 12/14/10

By AZBuckeye

1. Spurs – Timmy and his sidekicks are on another nice win streak. Richard Jefferson’s improvement has been the difference this year in the fast start.
2. Celtics - Running away and hiding in the East this year. Doing it with a hole in the middle. Anxious to see how good this team can be when their bigs get healthy.
3. Mavericks – Are you serious, 12 wins in a row then lose at home to Milwaukee? Mavs have a couple gimmes then the schedule gets tough until the end of the month.
4. Lakers - Hit a bump in the road losing four in a row, but now seem to have weathered that storm and playing better. Favorable schedule doesn’t hurt.
5. Thunder - Durant is healthy and the Thunder now tied with the Jazz for the Northwest Division lead. Seven of their next nine at home will help keep that lead.
6. Heat - Winners of eight in a row by over at least 10 points in every game. Miami is beginning to live up to their preseason hype now.
7. Jazz – Struggled at home this losing five times this year in their friendly surroundings. Deron Williams averaging 23ppg and 10 assists is not to blame.
8. Magic – Underachieving ball club so far this year. Howard has been carrying this team on his back so far. Very inconsistent team as of last couple weeks.
9. Bulls - Winners of five in a row, just after getting embarrassed by Orlando and Boston. Rose averaging 25 a game this year and has been outstanding lately.
10. Knicks – Winners of 13 of their last 14, this club is rolling and Amare’ is playing lights out. Very nice upgrade over David Lee in the Big Apple this year.

And amongst the NBA's Bottom 10 is perennial doormat, the LA Clippers, whose owner deservedly hates and bashes one of his own players--one of the fattest, laziest, softest players in the NBA--Baron Davis.

Big 10 Awards Released

Well these names are awful: Leaders & Legends Divisions. How about 5.3 40 & 6" Crabgrass Divisions (in honor of the Big 10's tradition of dinosaur-slow linebackers and the turf conditions they plod in?

Even funnier is the fact that the conference deemed it necessary to hire a design firm with offices across the globe to design the shit logo. PYB bets any junior-high art class could have done better.....pro fucking bono. Why is the 'I' a '1' in the word Big? So confuse. Amazing what gets called design these days. If you want a laugh, read their 'reasoning' here.

As far as the newly created awards, there's the Rimington-Pace for the best offensive lineman. That's not forced. Rolls right off the tongue. PYB has a few more suggestions, as we're not alone in thinking they're wack:

The Suckeye: The team that gets bottle blasted by the biggest margin in the highest-profile bowl game.

The Columbus: The team that turns out the most NFL draftees while averaging the fewest points on offense.

The Posluszny-Hawk: The linebacker with the slowest 40-yard-dash time that announcers rave about every game and tell viewers 15 times a broadcast that the kid will be "playing on Sundays with a motor & heart like that."

The Depends: Awarded to the team with the coach voted Most Likely to Shit His Pants on the sideline, with Penn State leading the way every year.

The Hawkeye: Awarded to the school that most consistently tricks poll voters into giving it a Top-25 ranking, while losing four to six games annually.

The Nittany Lion: Awarded to the school with the most Top-10 votes that could not beat any of the other Top-20 teams.

The Badger: The team with the biggest national reputation that season, despite not beating a good team.

The Schembechler-Tressel: Awarded to the offensive coordinator with the least creative playbook.

The Spartan: Awarded to the head coach whose team blows the most games in the last five minutes.

The Zook-Randle El-Foggie-Northwestern-Brees: Awarded to Illinois, Indiana, Minnesota, Northwestern and Purdue each year, because they'll never win shit until basketball season.

If you have any more bright award ideas, please submit them to PYB. We thought of all these at 5:30 am today and didn't even have to hire an international design firm. We trust you can help us too.

Nashville Pussy

PYB awakes this December 9 to two horrifying propositions:

1. Another year with Shawn Watson calling the plays for Nebraska's football team. Apparently the folks in Nashville got their hands on some game tapes.

2. A third head-coaching search in seven years. Let's hope that the rumors of Bo Pelini being interested in the Miami job are false. Not sure why he would be, as the Hurricanes play to a half-full stadium except when they're in national contention. Which these days is never. If it meant Watson going with him, would it be worth it??? If it were true, you can color the Cornhuskers as non-factors for at least 10 more seaons.

The above, and Baker Steinkuhler's DUI arrest on Tuesday, have us doubting our commitment to the Cornhuskers as a 13-point favorite over Washington in San Diego. So far, the focus is lacking. Couldn't Steinkuhler get a local bar slut to drive him home like everyone else?

Finally, thanks to the Diggler for the picture of some loser's license plate from last weekend in Dallas. And you paid extra for these? On your 1990 accord (seriously). Un-fucking-Bo-lievable.

A Tree Falls in Lincoln...

If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody hears it, did it make a sound? If the Nebraska basketball team plays Creighton on a Sunday at 2 p.m., when there are NFL games abound and the NU football team played in the Big 12 Championship the night before, did it really happen?

These are questions NU fans need to ask. If the NU Athletic Department really cares about basketball (and any Olympic sport besides women's volleyball), it needs to schedule these games like they mean it: on a Saturday, preferably at night, when there isn't competition from major events. The only thing going on this Saturday, December 11, is the Army vs. Navy football game. And nobody will be watching that, unless of course, they want to watch Navy's option game to remind themselves what a successful offensive system looks like.

In case you hadn't heard, the Cornuskers beat the Bluegays 59-54 in unspectacular fashion. The good news is that they outscored Creighton 38-25 in the second half and overcame 24.1% shooting in the first half to win. They did the same against USC after coming back from a 20-point deficit. Great wins, both of them, but that won't cut it in the Big 12. Cold-shooting first halves will lead to 30-point losses quicker than you can say Beau Reid.

Anyway, Brandon Richardson woke up and scored 18 points with four three-pointers. Point guard Lance Jeter continued his leadership and contributed solid numbers with 12 points, six assists and six rebounds. Caleb Walker, once grilled by PYB, looks like one of the few role players who can compete athletically in the Big 12. He snared 10 rebounds, four offensive. Andre Almeida still looks fat and hasn't contributed anything the last few games.

So a win is a win, and Nebraska is 6-2 with a chance to be 12-2 going into the Big 12. Tremendous improvement is still needed to have a chance to go even 6-10. Tremendous improvement is still needed from the athletic department in committing to the program, which in all honesty, is starting from nothing. The practice facility was a nice start. The arena needs to be done correctly with the seating configuration being conducive to loud crowds and the students positioned in the right spot. Fuck this up, and NU will never improve.

Tom Osborne has stated that it is OK to have a good team once every 10 or so years in minor sports and suck the rest of the time. He's proven he's fine with this motto with the baseball team's freefall from the CWS in Omaha to the Big-12 basement. NU fans need to hold him to a higher standard and the time is now.

Speaking of higher standards, here's a good critique of Shawn Watson's latest fuckup-fest in Dallas from the Omaha World-Herald's Tom Shatel. As usual, he was too forgiving to Twats, but at least he said what needed to be said. And here's to hoping he's wrong about the OC returning next year.

More ammunition from the OWH's Dirk Chatelain. This says it all. Obviously, Watson chokes in pressure situations and has no idea how to set up his talent to succeed when the game is tight. Go to Vandy, Shawn. Go be a Commodore. If he is back at NU next year, Bo Pelini will begin to incur the wrath of Cornhuskers fans and risk his own job.

Holiday. Celebrate. It would be so nice. Fuck off.

Too bad for Tiger Woods. Turns out, despite the media's propaganda campaign that he'd be back with a win at last weekend's Chevron World Challenge, that the rugged 18-man field was too much for him to handle. Woods blew a four-shot lead, and Graeme McDowell won.

Look everyone, NU signed another offensive lineman who won't contribute to the Huskers' nothing offense.

Finally, some nice Husker hoops tidbits, courtesy of Huskers Illustrated.

NBA Power Rankings....12/6/10

Thanks to AZBuckeye for the new weekly NBA Top 10. This week's installment features a new number-one team, the ponies from Dallas. And the Miami Heat make their way into the rankings this week by beating up on some scrubs.

1. Mavericks - The hottest team in the NBA, 10 wins in a row. Big win in Utah over a hot Jazz team on Friday.
2. Spurs – Number-one team from last week drops a notch with the Mavericks red-hot streak. Spurs still have best record in NBA.
3. Celtics – The Beasts of the East. Keep on winning, and as long as they stay away from back to backs, look for the Celtics to keep winning.
4. Jazz - Dropping two spots after a tough loss at home. Jazz still playing as well as anyone in the league right now not named Dallas.
5. Magic - Big win in Chicago last week, but after that, had issues with the flu bug. Lost in Milwaukee without Dwight Howard and starting point guard Jameer Nelson.
6. Lakers - Struggling big time, won against a terrible Sacramento team. Pau Gasol playing with bad hamstrings, and who knows when Kobe Bryant is going to break down.
7. Nuggets - Denver is on a six-game win streak and quietly sliding up in the Top 10. All the hot stove about Carmelo Anthony has subsided, and the man’s been outstanding.
8. Thunder - Weathered the storm of losing Durant for a few games. Westbrook has been remarkable lately.
9. Hornets - This team is dropping fast, and with all the ownership issues and the rumored NBA takeover of the franchise, things don’t look any better for this club.
10. Heat - LeBron returned to Quicken Arena, why does Rick Pitino come into my head when I think of Quicken now, and lit up the Cadavers last week. Miami seems ready for a run now.

SSDD

Same Shit, Different Day. The motto of scumbags and convenience store-cash register key chains nationwide is a less than eloquent, yet perfect, summation of Nebraska's come-from-ahead 23-20 loss Saturday against Oklahoma at the NEW Cowboys Stadium.

In honor of that white-trash mantra, PYB will publish its Shit List in an attempt to cover all that went wrong in Dallas as quickly as possible. If not careful, we could easily eclipse 5,000 words, and on an NFL Sunday, that ain't gonna happen.

1. Shawn Watson--Let's start off with the lone good news concernning PYB's most-hated villain. Reportedly, somehow, Twatson is on the short list of candidates to interview for the open head-coaching position at Vanderbilt. Hoo-fucking-ray. Does he need help editing his resume? Honing his interview skills? (Ironically, a Google search yielded this laugh-provoking gem from Steve Sipple in March 2009.) Hell, we will even chip in for some of the premium slate-gray paper from Kinko's to print that Curriculum Vitae. Just get the FUCK gone, ASAP.

In an effort that should surprise nobody, Watson kept going to a play that would not work and shied away from the play calls that have gotten four or more yards EVERY play since the Iowa State game a month ago. He tried to show us all just how genius he is by running zone read after zone read with a gimpy Taylor Martinez and a porous offensive line. The Wildcat formation that has never been stopped for negative yardage since its debut at last year's Holiday Bowl, used sporadically. Why, you might ask?

Watson didn't want to be one-dimensional. Jack of all trades, master of none. Apparently, he's happier using the whole playbook and going backward than running what works, making yards and winning the game. Inexcusable. An embarrassment to the whole state of Nebraska. What's more, he felt compelled to throw 24 passes, mostly seven-step drops, with a freshman quarterback who was pissing the bed with every chance he had. Handing off on conventional run plays to his two stud backs in Rex Burkhead and Roy Helu was clearly a distant third option, even after Helu's 66-yard TD scamper that made it 7-0. The read play has not worked against any team that NU has played that had even a mediocre defense.

Coaching is all about putting your players in position to win. Watson refuses, or is not bright enough, to get that done. Had Zac Lee started this game, Nebraska wins handily. A PYB confidante said before the game that Martinez was worth 10 points on the game's spread. He was right. The jittery QB was worth 10 points (or more) to Oklahoma's chances. Watson ignored that, even when it became apparent that Martinez was cooked. He has also ignored the time-tested formula for aiding young quarterbacks and winning games: run the ball, protect the ball, use play-action passes sparingly, and let your defense take it from there. Elementary, except for our Dear Watson.

2. Fumbles--Martinez continued to put the ball on the carpet with regularity. At one point in the game it made 42 fumbles for the season with only 14 lost. This act doesn't cut it against bad teams, as the Iowa State loss proved in 2009, much less in championship games. Bo Pelini needs to make this cease immediately, even if it means playing less dynamic players (Lee). Helu had perhaps the most crushing drop, as his turnover allowed the Sooners to tie the game at 17 before halftime. It was another soft fumble, Helu's biggest bugaboo in his career. Sure he took a good shot on the arm this time. But this is Division I football. It's the Big 12!

3. Martinez--Let's talk about the diva himself, who had to have been humbled and flat-out embarrassed with his performance. In fact, as Kirk Herbstreit pointed out, he panicked every time he felt a little pressure in the pocket. What followed was either a fumble, sack or near-interception. Sure, Martinez is injured and the way that Watson has failed to protect his young quarterback is unacceptable. But he has failed to develop in areas that championship quarterbacks must. Decision making, pocket presence, elusiveness and the knack for converting first downs in key moments. Martinez's end-zone INT with NU leading 17-0 was Trent Dilfer-esque, as he lobbed the ball back across his body into the waiting arms of any of three Sooner defenders, was the most perfect illustration.

Would NU fans be sad to see him go, considering the rumors about his daddy's interference and demands? At this moment, PYB says not. However, be careful what you wish for when you crown next year's incoming freshman as the next best thing. Remember all the names before: Dukes, Beck, Green et al. So far, there has been just one Tommie Frazier.

4. NU pass rush--Or lack thereof. The Blackshirts, despite ceding 454 yards, actually played pretty well. Just not well enough to make up for the terrible offense. They held OU to one of 16 conversions on third down. They stopped the Sooners twice on four fourth down attempts. However, they sacked Landry Jones just twice and most importantly, forgot to pressure him. Remember last season, when Jones threw five INTs under heavy pressure from Ndamukong Suh & Co.? Apparently Carl Pelini didn't, and apparently he also forgot how to call timely blitzes. In its limited blitzing, NU had good success. They also gave up two conversions when Oklahoma was backed up with 3rd and 25 situations. Did Carl Pelini freeze up? Or was Austin Cassidy that glaring of a weakness that the defensive coordinator couldn't afford to give up one of his defensive backs? The fact that he was burned by three steps on OU's first TD may be the best answer to that question.

5. Cornerbacks--Alfonzo Dennard has been burned several times since returning from his concussion. Has he just been playing poorly due to the after-effects of the injury? Or have other teams discovered a weakness? Or has he finally succumbed to the wear-and-tear of not having any consistent support from his front four? Either way, Dennard was beat several times on key situations that hurt Nebraska.

As for NU's supposed All-American Prince Amukamara, he was out of position on big gains on OU's last scoring drive. Do NU fans ever feel like he's going to make a big play? Can offenses really be scared to throw at him? He is never truly close to picking a pass off, despite being the nations leader in passes broken up.

This is all PYB cares to cover from another frustrating loss. Of NU's three losses, this is the most painful. Texas was a choke. No other explanation. Texas A&M was a farce, as the zebras imposed their will. Last night was a gift given to OU, wrapped in player mistakes and coaching missteps. What could have been a feel-good BCS bid, topped off with a bottle blasting of a Big East charity case, is now a second-fiddle Insight Bowl bid against a bad Michigan team or plodding Iowa squad. This is what NU fans consider success these days, thanks to Frank Solich, Bill Callahan, and now Shawn Watson. Ultimately, this is Bo Pelini's ship and Watson is becoming Pelini's Kevin Cosgrove. Failure to jettison Watson will keep NU stuck as a New Year's Day coulda-been-but-never-will-be. Which will it be, Bo?

Big 12 Post-Mortem

Here is a great start for your off-season reading while PYB shakes off the hangover before offering its analyis from the OU-NU game in Dallas last nite. Below is a snippet from Dirk Chatelain's article in the Omaha World-Herald, which proves how fucking clueless Shawn Twatson truly is. Instead of being one dimensional and moving the ball forward, he'd rather be "diverse" and move backward. Just a buffoon. PYB is also trying to grasp how Twatson's ineptitude cost us a 40-to-1 winning parlay and $400 with his handiwork.

So what does Nebraska do, down 23-20 with 8:24 to play? The Huskers could’ve gone back to Burkhead.

“But you get a little one-dimensional in that (Wildcat),” Watson said.

So instead of turning to the most trustworthy player on this offense, Watson turned to Martinez. Three and out.

Friday Wakeup

Strike one for Nebraska moving to the Big Ten. Fans and media alike accepting the notion that it is fine for the Blackshirts to become a slower, more plodding unit like its future brethren. No way. Add a tad of size over this year's linebackers, OK. Become mediocre, or flat-out bad, like the rest of the Big Ten's defenses....unacceptable. The goal is national titles, not beating Minnesota and Wisconsin on their crabgrass fields.

Further proof that Dan Beebe is lying about receiving death threats. Shit, even Tiger Woods filed a police report.

Great finish to a boring "Territorial Cup" game in Lebanon, aka Tucson last night. Arizona State did its best to save PYB's four-team parlay by blocking Alex Zendejas' extra point and sending the game into overtime, giving Arizona's Mildcats a chance to cover the 4.5-point spread. Then, in double OT, ASU's James Brooks blocked his second consecutive extra point to seal a 30-29 Sun Devil victory and seal the fate of our bet (no worry, the Phoenix Suns-Golden State overs failed to cover anyway).

The most entertaining part of this game, however, is making fun of the two fan bases in the crowd. ASU, whose "die-hard" fan base consists of transplanted dweebs from other regions of the country, acting like a win is life-or-death due to the fact that they've been on the Tempe campus for almost a whole semester! The alumni are even more hilarious, strutting around like they're Bill Gates because they started a construction or landscaping company 20 years ago during the height of the building boom in Arizona. They can even afford season tickets, a lease on a Lexus and the green fees at Phoenix's best public golf courses!

The Wildcat fans, however, are more polar opposites. There are the rich kids, enrolled from out-of-state thanks to big daddy's check book, who have to spend the next four years bragging to the friends back home about the great weather and acting like they weren't horrified when they got to Tucson to see that they were going to be residing in one of the biggest shitholes this side of the Gaza Strip. A few palm trees does not make us forget that the rest of the town looks like Nagasaki circa 1945. Who napalmed this bitch?

Even funnier are the rest of the deadbeats in the Arizona stadium.....and PYB can't decipher whether they just look like scumbags community-college transfers who are hoping to graduate from U of A's radiology tech program with a solid C average? Or just the lucky recipients or four free tickets, Wildcat hats, hot dogs and game programs from the latest raffle at the nearby Food City? Or just some of Tucson's finest transients who show up to the Wildcat games because the Oakland Raider game isn't until Sunday? Who knows, who cares.

OK, we'll admit the second picture looks better than the first....but the chick has no tits! She needs to move to Phoenix, get a fake rack, starting snorting copious amounts of cocaine, frequent the club scene for a few years...and basically get a life. Then she can screw a few Arizona Cardinals (maybe even pop out an illegit kid or two), hit rock bottom, marry a rich ASU grad with the personality of a flea who will accept a blonde coke slut even though she's screwed half the town and go into business in "real estate" selling luxury properties. Aaaaah, the FUCKING life.

Finally, two shocking developments from Lawrence, Kan. 1. KU's Jayhawks almost lost outright to UCLA despite being a 17.5-point favorite and 2. The referees bailed them out with a bullshit call. Farce. Can't wait for their annual second-round flameout in the Big Dance.

Video Update...

A couple good vids, courtesy of Deadspin...and a picture of Josh Freeman flying for American Airlines....courtesy of the Diggler.

Beer bong...

Andre Johnson v. Cortland Finnegan with audio...

Finally, a horrible handicapping of the NU vs. OU game, with partial facts abound. (Taylor Martinez irking teammates by not playing through pain, Roy Helu NOWHERE NEAR 100%, Niles Paul being OUT and not merely less than 100%, and Cody Green, aka The Thrower. Holy shit.

Is That a Gray Out or Empty Seats?

Nebraska's basketball team handles Jackson State 76-57. No analysis can be given here, since the game was not on television. Apparently, the team's shooting woes are over because they hit nine three-pointers against Jackson State. We feel much better now. We'd feel even better if Doc Sadler would get some real teams on the non-conference schedule. Take a page from the NU volleyball team: play the best early and often, see how good your team is, and try to get better. Novel concept.

More annoying than that is another suspension for 'academics.' This time, the offender was spastic Christian Stanhardinger. Good for Sadler for focusing on academics, but why are there constant suspensions for this? One would think the players would have gotten the message already or never will.

Caleb Walker, after looking awful the first few games, may be showing his value. Against USC, he was one of the few players that NU had that could match the Trojans athletically, and he racked up 13 points, five assists and five rebounds last night in 25 minutes.

Creighton at NU Sunday. We'll see if the Cornhuskers can win the battle for what little state pride is left on the hardwood. Apparently, judging by the reader-submitted picture (thanks GD..but what the fuck are you doing at a Creighton game?), the Bluejays aren't as hot a ticket as they used to be? Jaybackers can't pack the Qwest Center for a game against 23rd-ranked BYU? Pretty sad. Maybe Omahans were saving their money for that $90 ticket for the Qwest's next big concert, featuring Eddie Money or whichever 20-year-past-his-prime star they bring in this time?

Or maybe the new Costco or Cheesecake Factory in Omaha is stealing the recent attention of the town's 'movers and shakers'? No time or money for both! We just put a $7000 down payment on our new split-level in Millard. Creighton lost 77-65, by the way, and the bandwagon gets lighter.

Too dumb to play linebacker? Switch to defensive end. Apparently that is also going to take some time...

The NU line against Oklahoma jumped from OU -3.5 to -6.5 yesterday, as the oddsmakers have Taylor Martinez listed as doubtful. Does Vegas know something the rest of us don't, or are they reading between the lines when Bo Pelini says he's not sure who will start? Either way, that seems like an odd line for a team that has been wildly inconsistent this year, but is deemed as being hot because of its three-game win streak against teams with terrible defenses.

Landry Jones will make bad decisions when pressured, so hopefully the Brothers Pelini have something in store. DeMarco Murray has been upgraded to probable, but the way OU's trainers were testing his knee Saturday, his health is anything but certain. Should be interesting.

And so should the Queen's return to Cleveland tonite. If anyone needs some last-minute gear, go to queenjames23.com.

Big 12 Championship Stats

Here is a disturbing statistic that is making the rounds...

Shawn Watson has been offensive coordinator in six previous Big 2 championships. His team failed to score an offensive touchdown in four of those games.

In 2002, CU scored on a punt return.
In 2004 and 2005, one field goal.
In 2009, 4 field goals.
In 2006, NU scored on a pass.

But Bo Pelini thinks Twats is a great coach....

NBA Power Rankings....11/30/10

Thanks to Anthony Judd for PYB's inaugural NBA power rankings. We hope to have a new set of rankings every week. If you disagree with any of these, you either don't follow the NBA or it's just the fact that he is from Ohio and is a twisted member of the Buckeye Nation. Either way, we're happy for the contribution and look forward to more! Right now, it's Timika Duncan's Spurs taking the top spot...fresh off their 12-game win streak.

1. Spurs--Just keep rolling along. Tony Parker update; Gave Eva the gift that keeps on giving….Does that count as an assist on the stat sheet?
2. Jazz--Cardiac Kids just keep digging a big hole and making huge comebacks. It’s tough to go against the guys.
3. Celtics--Shaq is healthy and has been dominate in the paint. When Rondo gets healthy again they should coast against the Eastern teams.
4. Lakers--Struggling as of late. Kobe taking way too many shots and they have been giving up way too many easy shots.
5. Magic--Other than Dwight Howard I really don’t pay much attention to these guys.
6. Mavericks--Flying under the radar other than a big win in the Alamo City. Is there a better outside shooting 7 footer than Dirk?
7. Hornets--Starting to come back to reality. I will be surprised if they are a playoff team by the end of the season.
8. Thunder--Westbrook is stepping it up with KD out. They need someone else to join him now.
9. Nuggets--Can you imagine if Denver would ever start playing Defense? They can score at will but never stop anyone.
10. Bulls--How much longer is Boozer going to be out. If he can deliver help to Noah with the boards the Bulls will be tough out in the playoffs for the Celtics.

Thanks Berry...

Props to Berry Tramel of The Oklahoman for replying to PYB and admitting the error he made while ripping NU's fans in this article. See below.

David: You got me on that one. Although I think that was more Mack than fans.

From: [mailto:dvincen1@.com]
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2010 7:39 AM
To: Berry Tramel
Subject: B12 South

Nobody in Norman or Austin knows there is a divisional Big 12 trophy? Is that why Texas had one made for themselves after they split the South title but didn't go to the Big 12 Championship game? It's Past Your Bedtime, Berry.

Crown Their Ass...

As the chill rolls through the AZ air, here is some reading on this fine Tuesday morning.

Let's start with The Queen, and another very interesting column from Yahoo! Sports.

No suspensions for the Johnson-Finnegan brawl. Amazing.

A Derek Anderson meltdown.....the only thing that should have happened after he walked away is him beating the shit out of the reporter. One question about his alleged 'laughing' is legitimate. Keep pimping a 6-foot-5, 240-pound NFL player for no reason....you deserve to get your ass kicked.

TCU to the Big East. What are we missing here? Besides the fact they're looking for the easiest way to weasel into a BCS bowl each season.

Exhibit A as to why college football awards and All-Conference and All-American teams are a farce. We love Prince Amukamara (So congrats), but when he's not even the best cornerback on his team this is hard to count as legitimate. Is the reason for his no-interception season a result of opponents not throwing at him (as the NU Sports Information propaganda is trying to force down our throats) or is it because he has dropped several and isn't great at playing the ball? Go to the tapes....especially the ones from Stillwater. That said, Alfonzo Dennard needs to quit getting burned, especially by receivers from Colorado.

Dejon Gomes (or DeJuan Gomes if you're Kirk Herbstreit), says Landry Jones is more of a leader this season. Let's see how much of a leader he is if the NU defense can put some pressure on him. Against the awful Oklahoma State defense on Saturday, Jones had thrown for Blaine-Gabbert-type numbers of 297 yards on 59 attempts. Luckily for him, the Cowboys melted down and gave up TDs of 86 and 77yards in Jones' final three attempts. Otherwise, the Sooners would be watching this weekend's game from Norman.

Saturday's line: Oklahoma -3.5

Dan Beebe has officially lost his fucking mind if he believes what he spews out here...Should be interesting to see what is in store Saturday in Dallas. Any more shenanigans and those fabricated death threats may become a reality, Dan.

PYB is Back...

Back from the road. Follow for more as the day wears on. For now, we'll leave you with some video of the best NFL fight in 15 years or more. Sorry for the length, but the only way you get NFL video is when the Gestapo at their HQ releases it.

Why so serious, Steve? Your Niles Paul-esque drop cost my fantasy team 10 points but saved my three-team teaser and eventually won me $75...

Nobody in Norman or Austin knows there is a divisional Big 12 trophy? Is that why Texas had one made for themselves after they split the South title but didn't go to the Big 12 Championship game? Bottom line: Dan Beebe is exaggerating the supposed "threats" he got and is flattering himself if he thinks anyone in Lincoln would have recognize him. It really hurts him to be a little fish in a shrinking pond...PYB, Berry. Nice fucking name as well...Berry....not Barry.

This is stupid. Isn't the NBA season on the verge of beginning as the Ryder Cup takes place and isn't MJ supposedly a team executive?

Get ready for this story 1000 times this week. ZZZZZzzzzz....All we know is that Landry Jones is shit. His numbers last week were shit as well. Without the two late TD passes against OSU's pathetic defense, he had thrown 60 times for 300 yards. This, against a team that Taylor Martinez threw for 352 yards against.

Final thought this morning...Why is it that every school things they played in the Game of the Century? PYB was talking to an Arkansas fan last week who claimed they played in a game that had been given the title. Arkansas? Well according to wikipedia.com, there are nine such games, and Arkansas played Texas in one of them in 1969. Who gives a shit, and while we're not giving a shit there is no way the 2006 Ohio State vs. Michigan can just join the list because their fans want it to be on there. A four-year-old game that nobody ever talks about? We think not.