Cub Life

PYB returns from the road, a trip that included overnight stays in Houston, San Antonio and Waco before heading to Denver for the Colorado Rockies' home opener later this week. We'll get to it and hope to have some fodder for this site following that trip:

 

--We found it rich that PYB favorite, Queen James, had the nerve to complain about the excessive contact he had to absorb on a nightly basis during "non-basketball plays." Of course, his self-titled "non-crying" came while he cried after the Heat lost to the Chicago Bulls to end the win streak that ESPN stroked its collective cock about for more than a month. James targeted known league bully Kirk Hinrich for wrapping the Queen up and pulling him to the floor during a breakaway of sorts. Of course, Hinrich was first trying to prevent the bucket and second trying to protect himself, as LQJ bulled his way to the rim like a fullback -- in his own version of a non-basketball play. Anyhow, can't we all just get back to normal? With Miami winning games and ESPN creaming itself over Dwayne Wade throwing a baseball pass to James for another one-handed dunk that takes home the Top Play honors?

 

--Staying with basketball, we're glad to see a new phenomenon in the college game -- referees rigging games. If you watched the Iowa State-Ohio State finish, you know what we mean. If you watched Arizona-Ohio State, you know what we mean. The stripes saved the Buckeyes twice, and it certainly felt like Commissar Stern wanted them in the NBA Finals. The Bucks didn't get that same protection in the round of eight against Wichita State, and they got shitcanned.

--Now for an old basketball phenomenon: Kansas choking. The Jayhawks added a new twist to the "play scared in an early-round game against a less-talented team that has way more heart" by dominating a highly-ranked Michigan team all game before totally melting down in the final minutes. Even Roy Williams had to be shaking his head. Rock. Chalk. No balls for the Jayhawks.

--For the record, college sand volleyball is the saddest excuse for a sport we have ever seen, just like it is in the Olympics. Nebraska head coach John Cook coined the season a success -- both weeks of it.

--Let's stick with NU sports and bullet-point a few other things:

• Bo Pinelli was impressed that Taylor Martinez only threw one or two picks in the first 10 spring practices. That sounds pretty cool, except most coaches are impressed by their QBs not letting the ball hit the ground in practice instead of ONLY having two interceptions against one of the nation's worst defenses in 2012.
• Adding to that scary thought, is that Pinelli said his defense has not dipped very deeply into its playbook. Reading between the lines, this means they suck and that 2013 could be even worse for the Blackskirts than last year.
• One more horrifying thought: Pinelli was already laying the groundwork for not playing Tommy Armstrong, saying the redshirt freshman still struggles with the game's fundamentals. So, there's your excuse for not being able to get another talented recruit on the field. Mark it down. Being terrible at the game's fundamentals somehow won Martinez a four-year starting spot in Lincoln, but earns every other player a four-year spot on the bench. Fucking A.

That's all we have, other than to share the picture of the toilet. This is the life of a salesman, or anyone else who travels for a living. We can handle the average hotels, the hard beds, the stark-white, outdated tiles, the terrible ventilation and the same breakfasts at every stop. What we cannot handle are toilet seats with the gap up front. Absolutely demoralizing. They conjure visions of every disgusting being that has used the shitter before us, lizard dangling out in front, a biscuit-and-gravy shit spraying all over the back. Stop the insanity.

PS--Cubs win. Samardzija dominates! Marmol only walks one batter in his one inning pitched. Could it be the year??!!

 All we got...PYB