Notes....4/28/10

1. Hopefully, we are just one more ragged loss closer to a new Nebraska baseball coach...

2. New coach in Ames. This will only make things harder on Nebraska, as one of its Big 12 'peers' gains a new reason for excitement and hope, while the Cornhuskers are awash in doubt and questions...

3. The only thing funnier than Dana Altman bailing on Creighton for the second time in four years, is the Omaha media's covering this like it's Duke or North Carolina. Like it's an elite job. Like anyone outside Omaha cares.

OWH hacks are acting like the addition of Greg McDermott is just what the Jays needed to follow Butler's footsteps to the national final. Step one is qualifying for the Dance, and the Jays weren't close this year.

Videos of the Day...

Andrew Bogut is a pussy for getting hurt on his dunk...

Bango backflip...

Video 2


Nice overs bet Juice.........and the Vegas juice takes care of this folly of a philosophy...

Great picture on the comments section of this link...

Nasty pig keep quiet...

Euro buzzer beater....final plagiarized piece from Deadspin today...

Tweet

Impressive meltdown...If he thought Dallas vs. San Antonio had bad officiating, he obviously missed Phoenix at Portland on Saturday.

Pics of the Day...Reader Submissions...

Thanks to readers in Lincoln & Oxford for these submissions...

Dana to Eugene....

Dana Altman is going to Oregon. --No word on when his return to Creighton press conference will take place. Based on past experience, it will most likely be some time today.

This time, it may be Oregon pulling the plug, after they realize that their new coach was already a flop at the major Division I level and was currently leading a mid-major program that has been circling the drain for more than two years. Congrats to the Ducks, who regarded themselves too highly when chasing Jamie Dixon, Mark Few, Brad Stevens and Mike Anderson, who now have to scrap the gutter for the last scrap they could find.

--The Husker baseball team got its quota for the weekend on Saturday. Bet the farm on Baylor today, as NU is likely to make it 13 of 14 Big 12 series lost.

--The Raiders get a rich man's JaMarcus Russell, and Pete Carroll forgets he ain't at USC anymore....This is gonna be laughable.

--Arizona Cardinals' alternate jersey for 2010.

--From the NHL, not for the squeamish....

Weekend Thoughts...

--NU baseball is half way to its 12th series loss in 13 tries this weekend. Mike Anderson leads his team to another come-from-ahead loss in Waco...

--Good news for Doc Sadler. Maybe? Who knows?

--The NFL Draft in Primetime. Did it happen? PYB wasn't sure it was even on, as it was competing against real events like the NBA and NHL playoffs and MLB regular-season games. All we're hearing is that teams didn't take the best QB prospect until the second round (Claussen), we're going to have to be force-fed Tebow bullshit for at least two more years and that Colt McCoy will now have a built-in excuse as to why he sucks as a pro quarterback.

Notes...

1. Using an anonymous source when discussing conference realignment? Get a life. Wonder who Deep Throat is, the future of the NCAA hangs in the balance??

2. What a waste of time....going to 68 teams...so three more pigs get into the Dance. But it's better than a 96-team clusterfuck. TNT is now in the mix for television rights, not sure how we are going to explain this one to the sports bars, who have finally, ALMOST, gotten the idea on how to get all the CBS games showing at one time.

3. NFL Draft = Unwatchable. This was unwatchable even on a bad-weather, Midwest April day....and they move it to primetime? ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Potpourri...

1. Can they fire Mike Anderson yet? Another tank job against Creighton last night...However, TO thinks he's doing a great job. Hopefully, he's just playing it close to the vest...If he's sincere, NU will be awful for another five years. Osborne lauded Anderson's 'past success', which came with the remainder of Dave Van Horn's players. It was slipping even in those years, and has been embarrassing the last two seasons.

With the loss, NU falls below .500. Better schedule a couple emergency games with Wayne State. John Sanders would be proud.

2. Apparently, these guys aren't that busy. Having time to both play in the tournament and file a frivolous lawsuit...

3. Thanks to DVQ for the pic from the Twins' new digs, Target Field

4. Cubs suck. Four straight losses, six runs combined.

5. Interesting vid, courtesy of our friends at Daake Design....Bottom line: get some balls or get divorced. Or quit school. Or work. Priorities...

6. This is NOT awesome. A stupid project for a stupidly overpublicized draft tomorrow...Is that CJ Spiller or that blue freak from Avatar?

7. Good Stuff...

8. Golf thoughts...

Weekend Wrap...

1. Swing the Axe...PYB believes that 13 of the last 14 Big 12 series lost.

2. NBA Playoff Recap
--Cleveland tried to blow its 22-point lead Saturday, but Chicago couldn't muster enough firepower. Regardless, we saw the Cavs' main weakness in its shitty half-court crunch-time offense, which consists of Lebron James dribbling at the top of the key and either shooting a 20-footer or driving.

--Atlanta was wildly inconsistent, looking great at times and awful at others. Blew a 20-plus-point lead of its own.

--Boston will be without KG due to his inexplicable last-minute tough guy act, which earned him a spot on the PYB NBA All-Studio Gangster team. The Celtics had their hands full with Garnett, and things get even dicier now.

--The Nuggets used a big fourth quarter to blow the game open, and then got the news that Mehmet Okur is out for the season. A huge blow to Utah's chances

--Los Angeles concentrated its defense on Kevin Durant and Jeff Green, exposing the fact that OKC can't score from the post and has to make all of its outside shots to have a chance.

--Dwight Howard is a HUGE liability in playoff games. So much so that the Bobcats employed a successful strategy of fouling him every time he got the ball deep for a layup. Five points is all Howard could muster, and the fact that he can't be on the court in a close game is a huge hindrance. And for bettors out there, Orlando twisted the dagger by blowing a 22-point second-half lead.

--Dallas played well, but had trouble putting SA away. This will be a tight series. Either way, the additions of Caron Butler and Brendan Haywood were huge. Without the former Wizards, the Mavs would be in trouble.

--This gets us to Phoenix, who came in riding a 14/16 game win streak. Too bad the Old Amare Stoudemire showed up. Gone was the mirage of a real player from the second half of the season, the one who put up enormous numbers and pretended to be a good teammate. The old "STAT" showed up, blowing team defensive assignments, getting beaten in one-on-one matchups on both ends of the floor, not rebounding and most importantly, being unreliable as a go-to option when the Suns needed a basket in the clutch. Stoudemire was constantly pushed 15 feet from the bucket by LaMarcus Aldridge, who had help from Marcus Camby in keeping him away from scoring inside. Aldridge even abused Stoudemire on the offensive end. All talk, no results. Has the trade deadline passed?

Portland looked more athletic and more eager than Phoenix. The Suns three 'non-Nash' All-Stars went 14/40 from the field and 2/8 from downtown. Nash was far from perfect, but at least showed some balls in scoring 25 points. Surprisingly, it was the Suns' bench that did a good job and kept them close. The starters flopped. Is this a one-game blip or has Kerr assembled just another regular-season dream/post-season nightmare? We'll find out soon. The way Phoenix let Jarryd Bayless drive past them, shove them, and talk shit to them..it doesn't look good.

Playoff Fashion Trend--Bad Hair. The worst offenders:

Louis Amundson--That ponytail is wack, even on Steven Seagal
Andre Miller--Is that sheep's fur or human hair. Shave that shit.
Ron Artest--Is that yellow or orange? Either way, it's terrible.
Steve Nash--The wannabe indy rocker I-don't-give-a-shit look sucks.
Gerald Wallace--Braids are out.
Mickael Pietrus--PYB can't even explain it, you gotta see for yourself.
Ersan Ilyasova--Dumb & Dumber wants its haircut back.

The Winner: Albeit facial hair, Marcus Camby's thin porn-like mustache is brutal. It looks like he stole it from Zorro or Johnny Depp while on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean, or some other Euro-set movie that Depp would be traipsing around Spain in....Just embarrassing, and almost as bad as Michael Jordan's wispy 'stache. (MJ is fatter than shit by the way).

Night Man

Money...

Rapelisberger...Part I...

Rapelisbeger...Part II

It's always sunny in Philadelphia...

NBA Posteason Awards

NBA All-Studio Gangster All Stars
Josh Howard, Captain--Bad attitude, with a string of senseless incidents. And the gimpiest ankle in the league.

Kenyon Martin--Constant scowl, tons of tats, but biggest feud was with Mark Cuban.

Karl Malone--All cheap-shot elbows during his days, no rings. No class.

Greg Foster--Was that voice supposed to be intimidating or a Humpty Hump impersonation?

JR Smith--Acts like the baddest motherfucker in the West, but gets all sensitive when George Karl doesn't stroke his fragile ego enough.

Carmelo Anthony--Bitch slap, then run technique in the Garden brawl says it all.

Kevin Garnett--As his skills diminish, the talking increases. Yesterday's scuffle is all the evidence needed to earn his spot here. If a one-game suspension doesn't follow, something is up.

Ricky Davis--No explanation needed.

NBA All-Allan Houston All Stars
Allan Houston, Captain--52-point, one rebound performance is his trademark. Career numbers are: 17.3 ppg, 2.9 rpg and a measly 2.4 apg.

Ben Gordon--Career averages....17.9 ppg, 3.0 apg, 2.9 rpg. Skinny. No wins.

Flip Murray--Prodigious scorer when he gets minutes. Can't do shit else.

Corey Maggette--Nice career scoring average, next best stat is games on the IL.

Jamal Crawford--Despite being a PYB favorite, the numbers say it all.

Richard Hamilton--Career wins may help his case, but 17.9 ppg, 3.3 rpg and 3.5 apg are the facts against him.

Ricky Davis--Only dual member of the AH and Studio gangster teams. This guy shot and missed at his own basket once to pad his stats!

Rookie of the Year
Tyreke Evans--Hands down. PYB loves Steph Curry, but Evans came in from day one and started putting up numbers. His per-game averages are all better, and Curry didn't catch his rhythm until mid-season.

MVP
Lebron James--Obviously, this award is a complete waste of time and usually is awarded to whoever the media has hyped the hardest or feels sorry for.....see Karl Malone. But James' numbers are outrageous and his team wouldn't be shit without him. We'll see if he can close out the tough ones on the way toward the NBA Finals....or how much help David Stern gives him when the going gets tough.

NBA Champion Prediction
Interesting fact--Of the eight Western-Conference playoff teams, the Los Angeles Lakers have the WORST record since the All-Star Break. An amazing statistic that tells you perhaps there is a major chemistry problem behind the scenes. Maybe those bottle blastings they've taken recently aren't a fluke or a product of resting Kobe, et al. That, coupled with the fact that the commish certainly wants Lebron to get his ring even if he doesn't earn it, and the possibilities are endless.

LAL--Major questions.
Cleveland--Not that good, but got the league on its side.
Denver--Stru--ge--ling.
Phoenix--Too many role players to close out against top-notch teams.
San Antonio--Too old.
Dallas--Darkhorse, especially with Butler and Haywood, but they're still soft.
Orlando--Soft be thy middle name! And when your best player shoots 40% from the FT line, closing games is dicey--at best.
Boston--Way too old.

Prediction: No clue. PYB will just try to make some money betting it along the way.

Finally: Dunks of the year from Yahoo! Sports. Elevates & detonates....nerd.

Thursday Thoughts...

1. Good luck to Jerry Rice, whose is more undeserving than Michelle Wie was her exemptions...One PYB reader predicted 82-86--MC. He's 12 over par through 14 holes.

2. Poor Eldrick. Not only does everyone know he's a bad guy because he railed a bevy of women that weren't his wife, everyone now knows he is a liar.

3. Hopefully, this addition will finally be the impact that NU hoops needs. But wasn't Lance Jeter that guy last season? And why was this guy not even playing last year at the JUCO he attended?

4. Simon Says.....flop. PYB has seen this one before, and Gordon Hayward will flop in the NBA. Nice offensive game, great combination of skills and height and shooting--for a watered-down college game.

Only problem--Hayward won't be able to guard players his size in the NBA, creating matchup deficiencies and landing him on the bench. Hello Adam Morrison. Hello Jason Kapono. Hello Matt Carroll. Questions: Will he become a big-time Butler booster with his millions? Will he whiten his corn-like chompers with some of his first NBA paycheck? And how soon until he's on Brad Stevens' bench coaching? (12-year contract, for real? Wonder how they'll feel when Butler is 15-15 in three seasons?)

5. Good column. Better links to the celebrations.

Hello Friends....Masters Sunday.

1. Censorship is alive and well at the Devil, aka ESPN.

2. Annoying buzz word of the tournament. Crystal. New term to the public, and the announcers felt obliged to wear it out.

3. Ian Baker-Finch had his excuses for Tiger Woods ready, with the reason for Woods airmailing three early shots due to his lack of experience with the V grooves on his wedges.

4. Has Jim Nantz's love affair with Freddy Couples gone past the line of creepy into stalker zone yet? Every time they mentioned him, Nantz has some inside story to relate to those of us who didn't attend the University of Houston with him.

5. Phil Mickelson actually showed patience, strategy and forward thinking Sunday, while playing as solid a final round at a major as PYB can remember. He lost his driver for three holes, but got it back and used three woods elsewhere to get the W. Even on 17, he drained a critical six-foot putt to keep Lee Westwood at arm's length.

Congrats, Hefty. Winning with class while Woods again graced the microphones and cameras with his profanity, constant club drops and general whiny-ass attitude. Not to mention, same old prick in the post-round interviews. A bully, cheater and all-around bad guy.

Saturday at Augusta...

Notable happenings from Augusta:

1. Lee Westwood running, or should we say waddling, from out of the trees as he tried to watch his second shot on the 7th hole. Amazing, yet undescribable.

2. The supposed kinder, more genteel Tiger Woods losing control of his emotions on the sixth hole with a nerdy "Tiger Woods.....you suck....god damnit." The only cool part of his game, pre- and post-slut banging was his cussing.

3. Ian Poulter spraying the ball all over the course, yet somehow hanging in through seven holes. The end is near for him, though, as it always is during majors.

4. Why does Phil Mickelson have the worst clothes on tour. Pants too short and never hang correctly. Shirts too tight on his rack. Sleeves too short, like something one would see at the mall on a 13-year-old girl. Friday's shirt with the white piping was the worst ever.

5. Contenders for worst accessory: Tiger's "Pollen-blocking, I'm a coward" sunglasses, Ricky Barnes' queer hat, Anthony Kim's "I'm trying too hard" belt buckle, or Trevor Immelman's neck hair...

Masters Happenings...

Hello Friends,

1. Nice to see Tiger Woods faking his way around the course, smiling at the crowd, acting modest and appreciative until the news of his Bonefest blows over. Even more appalling are the saps in the crowd that are cheering for him. All this as the story of him boning a 21-year-old neighbor (who he met when she was 14...hello statutory rape) in his office came out the day before.

2. Annoying to hear the announcers rail on and on about Fred Couples' shoes....while anyone who follows golf saw them two to three weeks ago. If he's in weekend contention, this could get very old.

3. Nice 80 for Jim Furyk.

4. PYB loved the banners that graced the skies above August National. At least someone had balls enough to go above the heads (literally) of the Gestapo that's running the show. Fuck off Tiger. Be a man and play a tournament with a real gallery, not a bunch of pussy 'patrons.'

5. Nice leaderboard that includes Couples, Tom Watson, Lee Westwood, Phil Mickelson, Yang, Choi, Anthony Kim, et al. Here's to hoping Woods fades, so we can enjoy a golf tournament this week and not a circle jerk. ESPN is already ruining it by reporting every one of Woods' shots and keeping up the Tiger scoreboard the entire broadcast.

6. David Duval is fatter than shit. Fatter than his portly, top-ranked days. Almost child molester fat. Only thing missing are about 15 pounds and a short-sleeve button-up dress shirt with matching overly short tie. Disturbing nonetheless.

7. The Nike commercial with a fake Earl Woods voice advising his son was a complete embarrassment. Actually shameful. Bringing a guy 'back from the dead' because his prick son can't stop banging whores....couldn't they have gotten a voiceover from fellow fake Tiki Barber instead? More on Tiki...

8. Finally, something for the aforementioned fakes to strive for...Click...

Bluejays Roll

It didn't take long for Creighton to blast Nebraska Tuesday night, as the first two batters went deep and the Bluejays pounded the Huskers 13-5. It's always a shame to lose to a second-rate program like Creighton (apparently North Dakota is the most NU can handle in a mid-week game), but if an embarrassment such as this is what it takes to get Mike Anderson the hell out of town then we are on board. Absolutely terrible.

The latest in the line of excuses: “Again, you've got to pitch,” NU coach Mike Anderson said. “You go through the last five or six games, we've given up too many runs. We've got a plan. I felt good about Chase Adams. I didn't feel bad about our energy. I didn't feel bad about anything. We just didn't pitch well.”

See ya Mike.

Simon Says....Overrated

--Close game, yes. Great game? One for the ages? Best ever? Hell no. First, take a look at the box score. Butler shot 32.8%, Duke 41.1%. The teams combined to go 11/37 from three point land and 23/35 from the free throw line. Second, think about whether you saw any overly athletic plays? Any great shots? Any dunks? No, no, and no (PYB does remember a Butler player getting rejected by the rim...hello D-II). To top it off, there was horrible officiating--not that that should surprise anyone.

Such is life when college basketball is completely watered down. The first final four in memory where there wasn't one outstanding team. Duke wins a title where the best team they played was Baylor--thanks to the NCAA selection committee. Butler almost pulls off a title, when 10 years ago a team of its skill level would have made the Sweet 16, at best, if it had the right draw. Creighton has had better teams than this. And somehow, some way, starting in the Syracuse game the Bulldogs got calls like they were the LA Lakers. Of course, the referees wanted to be part of history....part of the modern-day Hoosiers saga. Please spare us.

So, everyone had the right to enjoy this close game. The almost-game winning half court shot at the buzzer. The cross-body block (aka moving screen) that got Gordon Hayward open, that somehow wasn't called an offensive foul (See: refs hoping to be part of history). But if you'd watch this game a decade ago, and didn't see the names on the uniforms, you might think it was the Division II title game. Not one sure-fire NBA star on either roster, which of course is not the end-all of good basketball. But it is the main ingredient in the making of great games. Since PYB had its eyes on its laptop more than the game, last night does not qualify.

Interesting...

Apparently not Virgin Tim's girlfriend....

Championship Monday...

--This would be one of the greatest upsets ever? Why, because Butler was rated near the top 10 all season? Because the spread is only 7.5? Or because the name is Butler? Please spare us the exaggerations.

--The Eagles finally got rid of Donovan McFlabb. Eagle fans finally got what they asked for, so now they can see if Kevin Kolb is the real deal. With Brian Westbrook gone, and their facade of a running game gone, maybe this is the best time ever to make the switch. One has to give the benefit of the doubt to maybe the best front office in the NFL, which puts a winner on the field every year.

And bottom line, McNabb is 11 years in and on the down side of his career. His increased unwillingness to scramble only magnifies his weaknesses as a pocket passer over 19 games. Either way, his contributions in Philly will always be underappreciated. Five NFC title games and a Super Bowl are pretty solid--especially in today's watered-down NFL.

--Can they fire Mike Anderson yet? New day, new excuse, same result. 1-2 in an important conference series. Now beat up on two lower-division foes this week. Rinse & repeat. After every loss it goes like this..."We weren't/didn't blah blah blah blah."

--Anything that keeps him from playing CB in important situations is a good move.

--Ladies & gentlemen, your President. Apparently too busy giving away free shit to slackers and having a Final Four shootaround with Clark Kellogg to concentrate on foreign policy.

Cheap Shot

The only thing more disgusting that Andrew Bogut's season-ending injury was the cheap shot from Amare Stoudemire that caused the horrendous fall. Any fool at the gym knows you don't undercut anyone on a fast break...for that matter, you don't get fucking close.

This play is truly indicative of how oblivious Stoudemire is. Reviled by PHX media and fans for his lack of defense, toughness and rebouding, STAT acts incredulous as to why he receives the critcism. Even as he has racked up huge numbers the last two months, while playing for his next contract since he's a free agent this summer, he hasn't proven shit while the chips are down. Bad person, no. Detached from reality, absolutely.

Team defense....terrible. Clutch offensive finishes....nonexistent. Big playoff wins...zero.

He said it was a "freak injury." Actually when you put your hand in the back of a seven-footer going full speed on a fast break, you cause the "freak injury." Here's to hoping Standing Tall And Selfish is somewhere else next year putting up meaningless numbers after he and the Suns lose in round one this year.

By the way, Milwaukee's best season in years. Over.

Strike One in Stillwater

--Can they fire Mike Anderson yet? He says his team is not responding 'with fight.' It hasn't for five seasons. Whose fault is that? Loaded the bases in the first inning, no outs, and they got no runs. Typical Anderson team, one that resembles those of John Sanders. Win one of three against real competition, while beating up against Division II cupcakes during the week to keep the record above .500.

--Is this a big loss? So he speaks Spanish.....PYB sees no impact players listed here?

Another Year....

--Another Cornhusker RB that has added 15 pounds of "pure muscle", gotten faster, quicker, better and became a candidate for a Nobel Prize. Yawn. He will look the same in September. And the spring game will still be boring as shit.

--What a champion! Here's hoping all the patrons welcome him with open arms next week. And Feinstein hits the nail on the head.

From Downtown...

--Kyle Korver is on the verge of breaking the all-time three-point percentage mark in the NBA. After last night's game against Golden State, he stands a 55 of 99 after missing 25+ games with an injury. Pretty impressive. But even more impressive are Steve Kerr's marks in 1994-95 and 1995-96 where he shot 52.4% on 170 attempts and 51.5% on 237 attempts, respectively.

Less impressive, however, are Kerr's management skills in Phoenix. He has succeeded in taking a title contender in the Valley of the Sun and turning them into an also-ran in just two seasons. His ineptitude as GM was very surprising, but depressing nonetheless.

--McCoy=Flop. Book it. Seeing him get dominated in the B12 Championship game (three INTs) and then flame out in the national title game after taking a less-than-crushing hit on his delicate frame makes this a guarantee. 6'1", 216 pounds, no chance...

--Herm Edwards is on ESPN this morning saying Tim Tebow has a future at QB in the NFL and that Ndamukong Suh is a weak pass rusher. PYB is guessing that having that kind of 'eye' for talent is what gets you axed in New York and Kansas City and has you sitting behind a desk saying stupid shit in Bristol.

--You simply must click on this hilarious link...

--Just how stupid is Shaun Rogers? Another soft Longhorn trying to be hard...