Longhorn Magic...

If you thought Sooner Magic had Nebraska riddled in the 1980s, then Longhorn Magic has the Cornhuskers completely mystified. Somehow, this perennially soft, underachieving Texas team keeps finding ways to beat a game Nebraska team. Almost every time, it's been a self-inflicted wound. This time, it was Adi Kunalic's inexplicable kick out of bounds. He's never done that before, probably never will again. The main question is, was he told to kick at the corner or did he just pull a Byron Bennett?

Amazing is the word to describe this game. Amazing describes all of the following:

-Ndamukong Suh
-Nebraska's defense
-Zac Lee's ineptitude
-NU's offensive line ineptitude
-Shawn Watson's ineptitude
-NU's overall offensive ineptitude
-The fact that Nebraska almost won without a functioning offense
-Texas' arrogant gameplan
-The fact that the 'horse collar' penalty is in the rule book at all
-Adi Kunalic's final kickoff

So as we go down the list:

1. Suh--12 tackles, 4.5 sacks, seven tackles for loss, 2 QB hurries. A purely dominating performance. One of the best PYB has seen. Tossing around a supposed Heisman candidate like it was nothing. All to be lost due to one piss-poor kick. Suh didn't even receive a mention on ESPN Sunday, as the network's four 'experts' put in their Heisman choices. Two even picked McCoy and his three INTs to win. Money talks.

2. The Blackshirts--Dominated a supposed top-five team all night on defense. The front four sacked McCoy nine times, Phillip Dillard was all over the place and the DBs were for the most part flawless. Gomes, Amukamara and Dennard showed they could play against any offense in the country. This team almost beat a third-ranked Longhorn team on its own, with NO help from its offense. NONE.

3. Lee--Simply horrible. What has he done the last four games that Cody Green couldn't be doing by now? Handing off? Running options for no gain? Throwing INTs? Granted, he didn't have many open receivers, but his complete lack of touch ruins most the chances NU does have on passing plays. His rocket ball at Roy Helu Saturday almost cost NU another pick. The bad part, he's only a junior and there's no evidence he'll be unseated.

4. Offensive Line--Horrible too. Blown assignments. No drive off the ball. No fire. Barney Cotton must go.

5. Watson--Horrible, part III. Obviously, he doesn't have that many tools to work with, but his inopportune play calls continually haunt the Cornhuskers. Twice in the first quarter, on third & short, he goes deep rather than try to move the chains with a run or short pass. No rhythm, no insight, nary a trick play, never the sense that he could outfox the opposing coach...just once! Is it time for Mark Mangino in Lincoln?

6. Offense--Sure, this isn't the 1999 St. Louis Rams, or even the 2008 Cornhuskers. But there is enough ability on offense to be at least a bad offense. This one is purely nonexistent. With Burkhead, Helu, McNeill, and Paul, the offense should at least be able to put up 17 points. So who's responsible? The line or the OC? Or both? You decide.

7. Texas--Stupid or arrogant? Arrogant or stupid? Texas came out and tried to do what they always do.....which is usually beat up creampuffs and struggle versus real teams. But why, outside of complete arrogance, would the Longhorns not target the weakness that Colorado exposed last week. NU was clearly an average defense when CU had their base package in and were forced to play Sean Fisher and Will Compton. But not once did UT force NU to play them, they allowed the Blackshirts to sit in their dime & nickel packages all game, where they are virtually impenetrable.

Mack Brown....can recruit with the use of all that Texas money and amenities, but as a game coach, well below average. Probably closer to bad. And, despite his 'say all the right things about respecting the opponent' act, he's a wolf in sheeps clothing. Just buttering up the other side as he racks up another undeserved win. Just like Bobby Bowden in the 1990s. And, the smug prick had the nerve to tell ESPN Sunday morning that he thought they should have gotten two seconds put back on the clock instead of one. How about none, Mack? Tell us how Nick Saban's dick tastes the first week of January...

8. According to the rule, Larry Asante's 15-yard horse collar penalty was the right call. But why the fuck is this even a rule? It was put in two years ago because Terrell Owens broke his ankle on a similar play. PYB has never seen a player seriously hurt on that type of play before or after. This is a man's game, not soccer. Players get injured. If the softened up public can't take it, there's always figure skating to watch.

9. What the hell happened on the final kickoff? Was Kunalic told to target the corner? Did he just choke? If a coach had him going for the corner, he should be fired on the spot. Even the most casual fan has seen 50 games pissed away by getting cute with a kickoff. It would have been better to lose on a 99-yard kickoff return than the Mickey Mouse drive UT had, with ONE 19-yard completion being all they needed to get into FG range. Texas hadn't gotten past the 25-yard line all night on a return.

And so, the magic continues. Or, should we say, NU continues to step on its own collective dick. The Holiday Bowl is a nice finish to the season, which had NU four points away from a 12-1 record. But the Fiesta was there, within reach. The wait for a return to relevance continues...