Bowl Musings...

December 31
Missouri just put the finishing touches on a 35-13 loss to Navy. Blaine Gabbert is garbage. So is Gary Pinkel. No effort in a 22-point loss to the Midshipmen. Way to represent the Big 12. The Big 10 is calling.

Kevin Cosgrove has his Golden Gopher defensive unit fired up today.....Minnesota held Iowa State to just 428 yards in the Insight Bowl!

January 1
ESPN Gameday has wasted 5+ minutes on a feature telling us why Tim Tebow will persevere past his shitty throwing motion and accuracy to be an NFL QB. Spare us, Todd McShay. Where is Mel Kiper when you need him?

Auburn vs. Northwestern--One of the greatest games of shitty football PYB has ever seen. It takes a truly talented team to nearly lose a game that should be won by 35 points. Good work Auburn. And did Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald dial up Frank Solich for that fake FG call?

Penn St. vs. LSU--Another SEC tank job. Only thing cool about this game was the muddy field.

West Virginia vs. Florida State--The fix had to be in, right? WVA rolls out 14-3 and looks unstoppable. Then magically FSU and its backup QB can't be stopped and WVA can't gain a yard. Had to be rigged for the Bowden Pity Party.

Oregon vs. Ohio State--Oregon pulls another Pac 10 no show, then gets in position to win (and more importantly cover 4 points), then fumbles the game through the end zone, thus allowing Brent Musburger and Pony Boy Herbstreit to revel in the fact that the Big 10 is back and has just as much team speed as the SEC, Pac 10, Big 12, etc.

Cincy vs. Florida--Not sure which was more annoying....the fact that Cincy showed up like a bunch of studio gangstas being coached by former Bearcat hoops coach Bob Thuggins, trying to cover up for their lack of talent, then getting blasted OR having to listen to one of the worst five announcers in sports, Thom Brenneman, rail on about Tim Tebow and how it's unfair that Tebow has had to endure all the backlash from the haters who are sick of hearing about it.

Thom, they don't hate Tebow, they hate fagots like you spewing hyperbole all game about how great he is. Thom, you're the douche who dropped the "anyone who spends just five minutes with Tebow comes away a better person for it" line. Fuck you, Thom. You're a garbage baseball announcer (and at least you know the nuances of that game--you helped us realize this by name-dropping the story about Urban Meyer coming to Reds games in the summers. he and five other people), and an even worse football announcer (a game of which you hold zero knowledge).

Final downside to this game...Tebow's good passing statistics. It will prompt four months of "Can Tebow Be an NFL QB?" stories on ESPN. Hell, Fox gave us two hours of it the other night, since the game was a bottle blasting. Quick answer, FUCK NO, he has no shot. End of story.

January 2
UConn vs. South Carolina--The Gamecocks didn't show up? Are you kidding? I don't believe you. Another SEC flop.

Ole Miss vs. Okie State--OSU turns bowl over seven times and the game was still in the balance with four minutes to go, before their WR coughed up the final fumble after a long gain. One of the worst games PYB has ever seen....in other words, a typical Cotton Bowl game. Horrible coaching, no excitement...a fitting end for the two biggest underachievers of 2009. And despite what this hack says, it's downright sad to listen to the demise of Pat Summerall, who can barely stay standing during a broadcast these days and makes error after error. Somebody please save his dignity.

East Carolina vs. Arkansas--Another near-flameout for the SEC, as the Razorbacks needed three shanked FGs by ECU's kicker to escape with a 20-17 OT win. Horrible game.

Michigan St. vs. Texas Tech--Entertaining, watchable, if not well played. TT comes back with two late TDs to cover for all it's bettors out there. The spread jumped two full points during the day, from 7.5 to 9.5. ESPN's Mike Patrick campaigned for TT's interim coach to get the job permanently because: A. He's a nice guy and he liked him in the pre-game interview sessions and B. He won a game over Michigan State. Hell, if B was the criterion to keep a coaching job, Charlie Weis would still be in South Bend.

Almost another week until the BCS game, in another flatly played, overhyped, made-for-tv game as Texas takes on 'Bama. Here's to hoping Cunt McCoy gets rolled again, after he scoffed off the Nebraska defense's effort in the B12 championship...saying he has to step it up because he didn't play well against Nebraska, and Alabama's defense is better than Nebraska's. Maybe individually, but as a unit, PYB has a hard time believing any unit is currently better than the Blackshirts.

Longhorn arrogance continues....first Mack Brown says UT should have had two seconds remaining, not one, to kick their FG and now McCoy just can't admit he was dominated. UT hasn't beaten anybody good all year. They played three decent (at best) teams in TT, OU and NU and almost lost all three. Roll Tide.