The same guys who act giddy about a fucking NFL preseason game or getting to see tape of drills from Minnesota Vikings camp will be too pussywhipped to watch regular-season action by week three and will miss their favorite college team's Saturday game to watch his kid play soccer. Losers.
On with it:
--Starting with a random thought, we say that once your casino brand comes to Sioux City, your casino brand is dead. Or -- maybe driving two hours to see a fucking guitar that somebody signed after touching one time is still cool and we're missing the boat and sucking in stale cigarette smoke and paying $15.99 for a cheese quesadilla that sat out too long is good entertainment?
--Speaking of things that have lived, died and moved on. Add college football to that list. Can Nike stick to trying to ruin golf instead? Anyone seen their golf shirts this year during PGA coverage? Anyone remember this?
--Speaking of overkill, Nebraska has lost three starters in less than a week of spring training. We'll call it four by including Avery Moss, whose infamous dong shot has cost Nebraska the chance to play 2014 with probably the best pair of defensive ends in the country. It may be for the best, though, as we don't have to watch NU coaches find a way to not pressure opposing quarterbacks while opting to not blitz and keeping extra defensive backs in no-man's land doing nothing. We're fine.
Back to the lecture at hand -- one of those lost starters couldn't learn the playbook enough to play but was supposed to be the Blackshirts' savior. Another showed up late last season and looked good just because he wasn't fucking up every other down. Michael Rose's loss is the most damaging, mostly in the fact that NU needs about 15 linebackers to fill the rotation since that said rotation is changed every game for the first eight games as Private Bo Pinelli searches for his new, permanent, temporary starters on a weekly basis.
That said, we're calling all the man love on Twitter, Instagram and "Social Media" (a top five bullshit fucking catch-all term currently) overkill. We're also calling media outlets simply quoting "social media" and calling it journalism overkill, or more accurately laziness. It's almost as bad as calling a television reporter a "journalist." I love you bro! No I love you more! No wonder these guys are so mentally weak they lose four games a year. Oh well, at least Nebraska fans will have an excuse after the team loses at Fresno, despite gaining 485 yards and turning the ball over in the red zone four times.
--Alright, maybe we're being too negative already. Let's be positive. The Huskers just got a commitment from a wide receiver who's already been slated as a 'possession receiver' and, if we're reading this link correctly, is going to battle for playing time on his high school team this season. Fuck. Yes.
--We've seen this movie before. Bread-and-butter looks great vs. bad teams early. Hit panic button vs. good teams and attempt to turn run-first QB into a dropback passer who is required to make five reads on every attempt. Rotten Tomatoes rates this: Bad times and an 8-4 star rating after 12 games. Can NU trade Tim Beck to Azusa Pacific for Drake Martinez and defensive back to be named later? By the way, we got a kick out of this link -- where the possibility of Martinez heading to San Diego State did little to inspire its fan base.
--Switching gears to golf. Dustin Johnson is a cokehead. Par for the course for guys who are engaged to sluts. Can we talk about him being an accessory to murder yet, or do we still have to talk about how far he hits the golf ball? Can we talk about his DUI in 2009? Or just his bowed left wrist during his backswing and how he can dunk a basketball off two feet?
--Sticking to golf. Valhalla looks good on television this week. Golf 'purists' are probably pissed since the course isn't brown. Rory McIlroy is looking dominant again. Phil Mickelson eagled 18 on Friday to pull within three of McIlroy's lead and nine-under. Young guns Jason Day and Rickie Fowler are also in the hunt.
And, of course, the story is all about Tiger's Wood missing the cut. Or, shall we quote ESPN and say -- "the game's biggest draw." The Worldwide Leader is pissed it has nothing to talk about and has now started hammering the "will Tom Watson still pick Woods for the Ryder Cup team" angle.
--Speaking of overkill, which television spot will be driven into the ground more over the weekend? The Omega advertisement with McIlroy where the song says "you be in da hall of fame and everyone gonna know yo' name." Making golf cool, see, if a nerdy Irish kid with an unfortunate afro wears an expensive watch, hits golf shots over Dubai and does it to hip hoppish music -- he cool.
Or the Matt Lionhart, Brian Bosworth, Heath Shuler going back to college spot for Dish Network? (Side note: Dish Network is worse than any of these guys were in the NFL). That said, it's a tight race at this point.....
--Kevin Durant was mentally exhausted from losing in the Western Conference finals more than two months ago and quit the national squad. We'd like it more if he just told us he quit because they're prepping for a meaningless tournament and he wants some couch time. And if he thinks playing hoops and being rich is taxing, he should try pounding 250 e-mails a day during the week, trying to mix in a blog post once in a while and then trying to play 18 holes once a week while using less than 25% of your vacation days because your co-workers are too fucking lame to cover while you're gone. A fucking grind. The team replaced him with Rudy Gay.
--Speaking of gays, Michael Sam played for the Rams last night. ESPN is already getting all the mileage that it can out of the story -- time is precious before Sam gets cut or becomes a non-factor. Make sure to use your show pony while you can! Apparently, recording a "QB Hit" is now worthy of reporting.
That's all we have. The golf course beckons. Happy birthday to AMG -- one of our most strident supporters. We know our recent absence has let you down.
PYB still owes its readers our yearly college football over/under post -- but we can't guarantee anything this year -- as work has us on the move again. After finishing a three-year stretch in Dallas, we're now on to Norph Carolina and hope that we re-enter present day life after being stuck in 1991 with Cowboy fans who still think Larry Bird is walking through that door. Wish us luck.
Thanks for reading.....PYB.
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