Greener Pastures

PYB is flattered to return after a long absence -- one driven by a two-week work road trip that caused us to miss most of the Nebraska-Michigan football game. We've still yet to watch the whole thing, and have seen only the action following Jordan Westerkamp pissing the bed. Special teams, anyone?

Regardless, we're flattered by all the "Where the fuck are you?" comments. We promise to execute better, and if you think we've forgotten how to blog, you're sorely mistaken. Let's go:

-Dwight Howard would give MMA a shot. So, a guy that can't even intimidate Marc Gasol in a preseason scuffle and who can't even outmuscle Andrea Bargnani is going to try professional fighting? Sounds good.

We suggest actually trying to make free throws and becoming a good teammate. The Houston Experiment sounds all too familiar to the last few seasons for Wonder Woman, who bemoaned the fact he couldn't dominate Bargnani because Howard is a "conventional" center and Bargnani plays on the perimeter. PYB thought that conventional centers were tough and had post moves. Maybe the game has passed us by.

--Anyone got four more weeks to drone on about racial insensitivity? Either do we. Do we have to play the "shocked citizen" game, when any of us who have played pickup basketball hear this 100 times a week? So, even thought Matt Barnes sounds like a retard when saying it, he's right.

--Non-sports note: Are outlet stores still cool enough to warrant gridlock? Has anyone else caught on to the fact that the prices are the same as most of the normal stores? Does anyone else know that they can buy items online, rather than scratching and clawing their way to a store that 55 other cities in America already have? Just checking, and for the record Southwest is a "discount" airline. Ding!

--ESPN College Gameday is at USC today for the Trojans' matchup against Stanford. Can anyone argue that college football isn't watered down?

--Florida State's Jameis Winston may be suspended if he's charged with a felony for an alleged sexual assault. Can prosecutors decide quickly? We have a season win total bet that we'd like to win. We have the unders.

--Something special is happening in Lincoln. After beating a winless Big 10 team on a hail mary and a bad team on the road, it's all rainbows and unicorns again. Awwww.....

--That said, isn't amazing that protecting the ball (for the most part), managing the game with a leader at quarterback and playing defense can win games -- especially in an awful conference against a team that somehow turned a mobile quarterback into an immobile version of Ron Kellogg III?

Can NU and its decimated offensive line do it one more time, against a Michigan State defense that is apparently a peer to the 1985 Chicago Bears unit that dominated the NFL? Or will the Spartans remember that they're Michigan State and choke on that proverbial cock once more? It's in their blood. We shall see.

--Finally, can Private Pinelli try to do something positive in the punt game? We always learned that it was valuable to gain field position and ultimately points in games against strong defensive teams when touchdowns would be rare. Football apparently has passed us by as well. We're not from Ohio, so I guess that's a given.

We promise to check in tomorrow. Enjoy your Saturday. PYB