Paradise Lost

PYB chimes in after a sleepless Friday night. With signing day approaching, who has time for sleep?

--Nebraska lost a wide receiver recruit to Auburn. We'd like to know what the hell Nebraska needs a wide receiver for if there's nobody to throw it to him? OK, OK. We know Taylorina Martinez will be gone after next year's Heisman Trophy run, but still, how is NU able to stock up on a position where it has talented depth for the first time in at least 40 years, yet it can't sign an impactful defensive player or field a consistent offensive line? That's right, it adopted a gimmicky offense to attract kids who are more concerned with statistics and touches than they are about winning and gave up the only identity the school had.

--Moving on....two former Nebraska football players who were no good at Nebraska are obviously.....playing PROFESSIONAL football. Sure, it's the Lincoln Haymakers (who we're not sure we've even heard of),  but still. Cortney Grixby was last seen getting burned on every play he ever covered, and Andre Jones was last seen stealing a teammate's television.

--Tim Miles' Nebraska basketball team tries to avoid another horrible home loss today, this time against Northwestern. The Huskers are a two-point underdog and have done PYB no favors on the betting scene this year. Stay close to highly-rated teams on the road, get bombed at home versus mediocre and bad teams. Bad combination. Anyhow, we enjoyed reading this Q&A with former NU great Dave Hoppen. He gets it -- we liked his statements on the student seating in the new arena, best high school teams in Omaha history and getting in-state recruits to Lincoln.

--We like this column. Remember, it's OK to be white. It's OK to be rich. And it's OK to protect your money. It's not OK to be a siphoning leach like the disease-spreading whore with 15 kids mentioned in the aforementioned link. Someone needs to put a bullet in her head, because it's a fair bet that one of her kids will be doing the same to someone else in the next decade.

--Speaking of professional golf, Eldrick Woods is back on the scene, racking up second-round leads at meaningless tournaments at courses where he's won multiple times. Give him a road whore, a double-ender, and a major tournament where he can hit two-iron off the tee for four rounds, and he'll be one victory closer to Jack Nicklaus in no time.

--Man, what is the world coming to when you can't even be safe when you up in da club in Honolulu? It's always a Hard Ticket to Hawaii for the NFL's best, but as Trent Williams found out -- it's not paradise all the time. We're sure he is super disappointed he won't be playing Sunday. This one was for you, Kirk...please don't get a boner at the 42-second mark of the HTTH clip

--PYB is trying to collect the facts on Tim Brown's allegations that Bill Callahan threw the Raiders' Super Bowl chances in 2002. So, we are supposed to believe charges made by a fucking idiot who can't even use the English language properly? We are sure Callahan and Jon Gruden was good friends, and PYB is sure Brown were a good receiver 15 years ago when his name was still relevant.

Better yet, Brown went for backup from Jerry Rice -- who was last seen shooting 93 in second-tier professional golf events and using his Michael Jordan "I'm Past My Prime but Still Pierce Both Ears with Large Hoop Earrings" kit. Pardon us if we're not immediately swayed by their arguments.

Even worse, they blamed Barrett Robbins' bipolar meltdown on a late gameplan change. One: most football players are off their rocker a bit to begin with, and this is what makes them good at slamming into other 325-pound men at full speed. Two: the world's normal citizens...the ones without millions of dollars....deal with death, bankruptcy, illness and natural disaster without flipping their lids. So we're not buying that Callahan's opting to pass the ball more than running it caused Robbins to go psycho.

--Speaking of pre-Super Bowl chaos, Jeremy Crabtree is going to get off without any charges in his "alleged sexual assault case." If the former Texas Tech Red Raider hadn't added a few late-season TDs and the 49ers hadn't made their playoff run, who else thinks no charges would have been filed?

--No bad blood with Caramelo and StudioG before their rematch? Fuck that. Can't imagine the Bulls and Knicks letting this one go in the 1990s. Surely, a brawl would ensue as Emperor Stern looked on in horror from just feet away. Just an awesome video. Our favorite six takeaways from this most recent viewing:

1. The look on Stern's face.

2. The chick in the black jacket and acid wash jeans complete with camel toe that gets pulled out of the fray at the 25-second mark of the clip.

3. Phil Jackson ripping John Starks out of the dogpile, then the Chicago Stadium security detail trying to rough him up a bit. Now that's a fucking homecourt advantage.

4. A Wild Bill Wennington sighting, sans moustache.

5. A Hubie Brown sighting. We love that he acts shocked by the events but is secretly loving the brawl.
6. Most importantly, the fact that these guys are fucking pissed off and genuinely hate each other and are ready to fight all night. They're not going Kevin Garnett. In fact, if Garnett was on either one of these teams, PYB is certain he'd be cowering somewhere in the locker room.

Keep in mind, New York had Anthony Mason and Charles Oakley -- two of the NBA's baddest men of all time -- on this team and the Bulls were still ready to go. It wasn't Paula Gasol.

Aaaah, good times. Reminds us yet again how watered-down and shitty sports as a whole are these days.

On that note we're out of here for the weekend. PYB

PS: For those of you who says we're too negative, you can watch this. Even Queen James choked up and Jay-Z was brought to tears of Cristal.....