Fuck What You Heard

Let's make this short and sweet. So, what would any good coach do when it has a running back that averages almost seven yards per carry in a given season? Sure, PYB knows a lot of you that don't understand football would give that RB 10+ touches every week and try to win games. The CORRECT answer, which is apparent to Ohio natives only, is:

--Give him 52 carries over a 14-game season

--Take him out every time he developed a rhythm within the game.

--Then, of course, after that season is over, when all the is left around him is a fumbler, a "power back" who is a non-impact player on the Division I level and two incoming freshmen who are unproven commodities -- you try to convince him to move to wide receiver. A position where NU is stacked with three good players and one awful QB to get it to them. OF COURSE! We simply cannot believe we didn't see the light until now. Surely, this is the way to make a player feel like a valued asset and to believe in the coaches' vision. Ask him to move positions for the third time in less than a year, when he may be the best running back on the roster.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what $3 million a year is getting you. Actually, this is what $3.75 million is getting you after Tim Beck had his salary doubled after another four-loss season rife with the fumbles and bumbles that have characterized the Private Pinelli era. Within days of tanking the Georgia game by getting too cute and making Rex Burkhead a pitcher and lead blocker instead of a runner, he makes twice as much money. Seems smart, if you're the kind of guy who gives Doc Sadler a 10-year contract extension.

Normally, PYB doesn't get too upset about players leaving the program. The washout rate has always been high, and in this era, most of the players that leave are pussies who overrate their abilities. This time, it's indicative of a problem that runs deep within the program. Is anyone willing to fix it?

We're fine.

Don't Turn Me Over

--Tim Miles' NU squad gets a nice win, as his team keeps costing PYB money....

--Cool graphic from the OWH today, in case you didn't see it. Turnovers #1 and #34 led directly to losses. Add this complete disregard for the football to the total lack of attention to special teams, and NU gives away 14-17 points a game. Hence, regular bottle blastings by rated teams.

This, of couse, is proof that Taylorina Martinez is a one-man trash fire who is wasting four years of everyone's time. Only one more year of the nation's leading fumbler in Lincoln.

--With Mo Seisay filling in nicely as the Huskers' next Armando Murillo, are they on the verge of now corraling the next Joseph Carter? Mention of NU's training table and 'adding weight to stop rugged Big 10 offenses" in this link makes us fear that the next Porky Meredith may emerge. Stay tuned....

We're out....off to enjoy the Sunday before another five days of having our nuts in a vise during the work week.

Paradise Lost

PYB chimes in after a sleepless Friday night. With signing day approaching, who has time for sleep?

--Nebraska lost a wide receiver recruit to Auburn. We'd like to know what the hell Nebraska needs a wide receiver for if there's nobody to throw it to him? OK, OK. We know Taylorina Martinez will be gone after next year's Heisman Trophy run, but still, how is NU able to stock up on a position where it has talented depth for the first time in at least 40 years, yet it can't sign an impactful defensive player or field a consistent offensive line? That's right, it adopted a gimmicky offense to attract kids who are more concerned with statistics and touches than they are about winning and gave up the only identity the school had.

--Moving on....two former Nebraska football players who were no good at Nebraska are obviously.....playing PROFESSIONAL football. Sure, it's the Lincoln Haymakers (who we're not sure we've even heard of),  but still. Cortney Grixby was last seen getting burned on every play he ever covered, and Andre Jones was last seen stealing a teammate's television.

--Tim Miles' Nebraska basketball team tries to avoid another horrible home loss today, this time against Northwestern. The Huskers are a two-point underdog and have done PYB no favors on the betting scene this year. Stay close to highly-rated teams on the road, get bombed at home versus mediocre and bad teams. Bad combination. Anyhow, we enjoyed reading this Q&A with former NU great Dave Hoppen. He gets it -- we liked his statements on the student seating in the new arena, best high school teams in Omaha history and getting in-state recruits to Lincoln.

--We like this column. Remember, it's OK to be white. It's OK to be rich. And it's OK to protect your money. It's not OK to be a siphoning leach like the disease-spreading whore with 15 kids mentioned in the aforementioned link. Someone needs to put a bullet in her head, because it's a fair bet that one of her kids will be doing the same to someone else in the next decade.

--Speaking of professional golf, Eldrick Woods is back on the scene, racking up second-round leads at meaningless tournaments at courses where he's won multiple times. Give him a road whore, a double-ender, and a major tournament where he can hit two-iron off the tee for four rounds, and he'll be one victory closer to Jack Nicklaus in no time.

--Man, what is the world coming to when you can't even be safe when you up in da club in Honolulu? It's always a Hard Ticket to Hawaii for the NFL's best, but as Trent Williams found out -- it's not paradise all the time. We're sure he is super disappointed he won't be playing Sunday. This one was for you, Kirk...please don't get a boner at the 42-second mark of the HTTH clip

--PYB is trying to collect the facts on Tim Brown's allegations that Bill Callahan threw the Raiders' Super Bowl chances in 2002. So, we are supposed to believe charges made by a fucking idiot who can't even use the English language properly? We are sure Callahan and Jon Gruden was good friends, and PYB is sure Brown were a good receiver 15 years ago when his name was still relevant.

Better yet, Brown went for backup from Jerry Rice -- who was last seen shooting 93 in second-tier professional golf events and using his Michael Jordan "I'm Past My Prime but Still Pierce Both Ears with Large Hoop Earrings" kit. Pardon us if we're not immediately swayed by their arguments.

Even worse, they blamed Barrett Robbins' bipolar meltdown on a late gameplan change. One: most football players are off their rocker a bit to begin with, and this is what makes them good at slamming into other 325-pound men at full speed. Two: the world's normal citizens...the ones without millions of dollars....deal with death, bankruptcy, illness and natural disaster without flipping their lids. So we're not buying that Callahan's opting to pass the ball more than running it caused Robbins to go psycho.

--Speaking of pre-Super Bowl chaos, Jeremy Crabtree is going to get off without any charges in his "alleged sexual assault case." If the former Texas Tech Red Raider hadn't added a few late-season TDs and the 49ers hadn't made their playoff run, who else thinks no charges would have been filed?

--No bad blood with Caramelo and StudioG before their rematch? Fuck that. Can't imagine the Bulls and Knicks letting this one go in the 1990s. Surely, a brawl would ensue as Emperor Stern looked on in horror from just feet away. Just an awesome video. Our favorite six takeaways from this most recent viewing:

1. The look on Stern's face.

2. The chick in the black jacket and acid wash jeans complete with camel toe that gets pulled out of the fray at the 25-second mark of the clip.

3. Phil Jackson ripping John Starks out of the dogpile, then the Chicago Stadium security detail trying to rough him up a bit. Now that's a fucking homecourt advantage.

4. A Wild Bill Wennington sighting, sans moustache.

5. A Hubie Brown sighting. We love that he acts shocked by the events but is secretly loving the brawl.
6. Most importantly, the fact that these guys are fucking pissed off and genuinely hate each other and are ready to fight all night. They're not going Kevin Garnett. In fact, if Garnett was on either one of these teams, PYB is certain he'd be cowering somewhere in the locker room.

Keep in mind, New York had Anthony Mason and Charles Oakley -- two of the NBA's baddest men of all time -- on this team and the Bulls were still ready to go. It wasn't Paula Gasol.

Aaaah, good times. Reminds us yet again how watered-down and shitty sports as a whole are these days.

On that note we're out of here for the weekend. PYB

PS: For those of you who says we're too negative, you can watch this. Even Queen James choked up and Jay-Z was brought to tears of Cristal.....

Q is for Question

PYB kicks off the weekend with a series of questions:

--Why does Nebraska need to sign another tight end? It has a long history of wasting eligibility of All-American caliber pass catchers. Maybe they're looking for a replacement for Mike Marrow as a lead blocker, as he and Porky Meredith head out on the competitive eating circuit this summer.....

--Is anyone else not surprised that the No. 1-rated rifle team in the nation is West Virginia? Who knew years of squirrel hunting could provide both food on the dinner table and a free college education?

--So Jeremy Crabtree goes from NFL bust to serviceable possession receiver this year and thinks he can just get away with rape? PYB has not seen a shittier WR with more attitude since Keyshawn Johnson.

--Shouldn't anyone watching Lance Armstrong's interview with Oprah Winfrey feel ashamed? This is a guy seeking attention on the brightest stage, JUST after the statute of limitations for perjury under oath expired. And those watching him are granting him the attention this attention seeker seeks. He never got busted for doping while on the cycling circuit, but there was a drug bust on the set of his come-clean session. Police lifted up Oprah's skirt and found 50 pounds of crack. Hey-Oh!

--From Hey-Oh! to Te'o.......Is this guy really that stupid or really that big of a conceited liar, a la Lance Armstrong. PYB says he's a liar. Hell, Brian Kelly killed a student manager with impunity a couple years back. This is small potatoes in South Bend.

--Why isn't Notre Lame taking more shit than it is? Any other school, outside media darlings USC and Ohio State, would be lambasted beyond recognition. Maybe it's because Te'o is a Mormon. How the hell is one supposed to keep up with all of his several girlfriends/wives/slaves/concubines?

--Weekend NFL action: What the fuck would the world do if Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan met in the Super Bowl? Two of the most overrated, underachieving QBs in a long time have the chance to get to New Orleans. We like San Francisco and New England to win, and the bums to stay home.

--Who doesn't roll strapped when flying? Danger lurks on every flight. Safe to say that if you can't sneak your hand sanitizer past some $12-an-hour asshole at TSA that the gun isn't likely to either.

Blogspot is still not letting us post photos, so you'll all have to go old school and just read words. Sorry for the inconvenience, but people used to have to read letters scratched into stone, so we don't feel so fucking badly after all.

Enjoy your weekend -- PYB

Action, Jackson...

Very quick thoughts from PYB today, before we start a 70-mile trek at 630am:

--If Michigan in the second-best team in college basketball, then the sport is worse off than we ever imagined. And it's pretty much unwatchable now to start with.

--Tim Miles seems to have good control of his team and the concept of game management. Can he talk to Bo Pinelli?

--Dylan Talley's mid-range pull-up jump shot game is pointless, not to mention annoying. Get to the rack or shoot a three.

--Sand volleyball for Nebraska's women. Great to see a farce of an Olympic sport filtering into colleges. I'm sure everyone is happy for Title IX now...I mean who wouldn't want to watch a sand volleyball match instead of a great matchup of two football teams who are talented, deep and experienced because they have more scholarship players.

--Terrell Newby 'commits' to Nebraska. Glad we have a stable of running backs for the future. Hopefully, there will be a QB. And, will Newby actually sign with NU? If so, will he become the next Leon Jackson? PYB properly predicted that Mo Seisay would become the next Armando Murillo this season.

--'Bama, better than the 1995 Nebraska team? Sure.....all the evidence points that way. What about losing to a freshman quarterback at home doesn't scream 'dominance'?

PS--No pictures for you. Blogspot is still sucking cock and not allowing us to post photos with our entries....

Two-Stars at Night, are Big and Bright...

--PYB scanned  the updated Dallas area Top 100 football recruit list today. Since blogspot.com was being a piece of shit and wouldn't allow us to post the image all morning (we will post it ASAP) and dallasnews.com sucks and we couldn't get a link more recent than this, we'll recap for you. Not one NU commit in the bunch and none still considering Nebraska. The only initial backseat fumblings they got were from Torii Hunter Jr., who committed to Notre Dame then snapped his femur on Jan. 1.

Remember last year, when Private Bo Pinelli said that his staff was going to scour DFW harder for recruits? So do we. But, just like his on-field product, nothing changed. We keep getting older, and they stay the same age...

Fine work, considering Dallas is one of the top recruiting bastions in the country. Remember former Cornhusker Rex Burkhead? He's from Dallas. Jamal Turner? Him too. Ciante Evans? Well.....never mind.....

Anyhow, if you BoLieve that "We're fine", consider the fact that the following schools have at least one commit on this list or are at least in the running for one: Mississippi, Arkansas State, Iowa, UConn, Wake Forest, Air Force, New Mexico, Purdue, Illinois, La Tech, Iowa State, Missouri, Tulsa, Northwestern, Duke, San Diego State, Washington, Arizona, Utah, Minnesota, Washington State, New Mexico State, Cal, Kansas State, Arizona State, Indiana, Utah State, and Kansas.

This list of schools excludes Texas colleges and all schools that would be considered higher on the food chain than Nebraska at this point. So, NU shouldn't be competing with the aforementioned schools for recruits, you say? Maybe not, but keep in mind Pinelli snatched a third Cotton brother away from the clutches of the Ohio Bobcats and just signed a two-star DT from Orlando only because they practiced at the kid's high school during Capital One bowl "preparations." We know for certain that Bo & Co. weren't aware of him prior to landing in Florida, since they don't recruit the state worth a shit. (Translation: at all.)

Remember Lavonte David....former NU linebacker and now rookie starter for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He's from Florida.  So is Tommie Frazier, best quarterback in school history who had to compete for his job every year, unlike the team's current signal caller.

Hell, even Concordia College in Seward, Neb., signed two Dallas kids a year ago. We're just counting the days until Houston-area product Adam Taylor flips his commit to a school that can utilize his skills prior to 2015.

--Moving on.....Taylorina Martinez found it a good idea to talk shit after getting pounded by UGA on Jan. 1, saying NU should have beaten the Dawgs because they did 'whatever they wanted' to do for a half. Funny part is that he's partially right. Even funnier is that he is so god-damned stupid that he doesn't realize that his team "just didn't finish" because of the awful mistakes he and his teammates made and have been making for 35+ games. Sadly, it seems even sophomore Ameer Abdullah (whose fumbleitis is a huge fucking problem going forward) has latched on to the post-game excuse-making. Gotta love Jenny Football (thanks to Cheeks for this moniker) and his delusions of legitimacy.

Just win. And stuff.

PYB

Identity Crisis

--The Omaha World Herald's Dirk Chatelain nailed it here. PYB said NU lost its identity the day Bill Callahan tried to make the offense into a run and pass outfit. NU became the 1990s Colorado---with less talent. Enough speed to crush the bad teams. However, with nothing solid to rely on against good teams, losses were certainties.

--Hopefully, Nebraska's new athletic director is playing it close to the vest when he speaks of  'no major problems to fix.' Now that construction magnate Tom Osborne has moved on, maybe Shawn Eichorst can once again focus on fielding teams that win games......and championships.

--Speaking of major problems....Nebraska began its conference basketball schedule Wednesday at Ohio State...and got ripped...as expected. PYB has just one request for Tim Miles: either get really good or stay awful so we can win lots of money on these road games. To make matters worse, the Bouncer, Andre Almeida got hurt after "jumping" for a rebound.

Two notes from this link:

1. Jenny Football is ready to prepare for 2013. Can't wait.

2. Ben Cotton still doesn't know what happened on the blocked punt from Tuesday's game. We do. Justin Blatchford broke the only rule on punt team---take the man to the inside. Instead, he opted to whiff on both the inside and outside men. We'd like to submit one request--if Coach Pinelli insists on playing overmatched in-state talent, can they at least be smart enough to excecute the simplest assignments?

Did anyone see that exciting Sugar Bowl last night, where Shawn Twatson's Louisville offense shredded that "amazing" Florida Gator defense? Neither did we. Bowl season at its best......

Give a Dawg a Bone

Old Bo Pinelli,

Went to Orlando,

To bring the Cap One trophy home,

When Taylor moved over,

Ameer turned the ball over,

And the Dawgs gave the Huskers a bone of their own!

Six lines. Succint recap of another fucking Nebraska meltdown. Another potential win over an SEC team pissed away into a multiple-score loss. We're fine.

PYB chimes in with a quick foray into all that is wrong with the NU football program. We'd settle on telling you that the Blackskirts gave up 589 yards and lost the turnover margin battle yet again, but as Barney Cotton told us yesterday....stats are for losers. We'll rifle down the list of observations until the coup de gras, when all was lost yet again:

--We predicted the first turnover would occur before the 11:30 mark. We were right, as Justin Blatchford forgot the cardinal rule of blocking on punts and kicks, stepped outside, and gave up a blocked punt that gave UGA a 2-0 lead at the 11:39 point of the first quarter.

--Charles Jackson made a great hit on the ensuing Brett Maher punt. He's from the Houston area. We are glad NU cut its recruiting in Texas to concentrate on the Rust Belt's Catholic pipeline.

--NU racked up 30 yards in penalties in the first six minutes.

--In short order, the Blackskirts blew a coverage and allowed the Georgia tight end to waltz into the endzone untouched for a 9-0 lead. By this point, NU had blown several opportunities, should have led in the game, but was behind by nine points. Another case of Cocklash.....

--Rex Burkhead followed that up with a a couple big gains....only to be promptly benched.

--NU had amassed 55 yards in penalties int he first 17 minutes.

--Burkhead was back in the game, rolling down the field...when Taylor Martinez remembered he was Taylor Martinez and threw an interception. Death. Taxes. T Vag.

--On yet another drive, Burkhead (the only NU player with big game balls) was running right through the Bulldog defense. Then he got benched, and Tim Beck called three consecutive Martinez passes. Drive over.

--By halftime, somehow, the Cornhuskers we ahead 24-23 and collecting nuggets of Fool's Gold along the way. Martinez was getting away with passes into traffic and back across the field. Disaster was imminent.

--After blowing a 31-23 lead in just seconds, NU had the ball back near midfield. On 3rd & 1, Beck decided that Burkhead was more valuable as a pitcher and lead blocker than a running back who averaged 5.5 yards per carry against the 'vaunted' Dawgs defensive line. Ameer Abdullah reverted to earlier season form, fumbled the ball away and gifted another undeserved win to a mediocre SEC team. 31-31 became 38-31, Dawgs, in no time. Fucking tremendous.

--Still a one possession game, NU had gotten Georiga (yes, Georiga) to a 3rd and 12 in its own territory before deciding to blitz both its linebackers directly into blockers, blowing a coverage and relinquishing an 87-yard touchdown that made it 45-31. Game over. Another national embarrassment. But hey, you are what you bust....

--With the result no longer in doubt, PYB quit nitpicking. We did notice, though, that T Vagic tweaked his ankle in the fourth quarter. That should give him an excuse for 12 more games of mistake-laden football.

--After talking shit to Georgia's DBs, Taylorina got rocked three times. Perhaps if you suck and are stupid, the best course of action is to keep your mouth shut. More concerning was that not one teammate came to his defense after a couple borderline cheap shots from Bulldog defenders. So much for honor, code, loyalty. Nebraska is a national punch line.

--When Josh Mitchell was beaten for a long pass on a jump ball (which marked about the 15th time an NU CB got burned in the game), Bo Pinelli threw his hands up -- apparently exasperated that the 155-pound cornerback he recruited couldn't beat the bigger/faster/strong player for the football. Amazing concept.

--Most disturbing, we think, was the slew of "you can't put this one on Taylor" comments we saw from the Martinez apologists on Twitter. Obviously, PYB has a strong disdain for this gutless loser....BUT, if fans are continually making excuses for a quarterback for why he can't win games that matter after three full years as a starter, there's a problem. Winning quarterbacks are leaders. They win. They don't give a fuck about numbers. Losers point out that they scored 31 points, despite losing by more than 30 points. Tommie Frazier had to compete for his starting job every year....but somehow T Vagic gets four years of immunity. Not sure if that says more about Pinelli's stubborness or poor recruiting, but if there's not at least a competition next August, there should be mutiny on the SS Youngstown.

So, 365 more days have elapsed. Is NU any better off than it was after blowing a chance to win against South Carolina in last year's Capital One bowl? We know the answer, and so do you.

So, 13-14 more games of the awful era that is the Taylor Martinez Era -- complete with inflated statistics for losers and exactly zero meaningful wins.

So, where does the Pinelli Era stand? The best win of his NU tenure was against Clemson in his first season.....a season where NU beat a Tiger team with loads more talent by being smart, efficient and driven. That, in stark contrast to a team that steps on its dick more times than one can count. A team that is inefficient, sloppy and stupid. A team that inevitably rolls over when times get tough. A team with zero playmakers on defense. A team that, with a 'defensive guru' as head coach, gave up 80% of it's third-down conversions today and more than 1100 yards in its last two games.

So, who wants answers? We want answers. We want the truth. We can't handle the truth.

You're god damn right we can't......

Happy Fucking New Year.....