Joker, Joker.....Joker!!

PYB drops some bye week tidbits, while chewing on the fact that Indiana played Ohio State to within three points. While watching countless mediocre teams, almost all of which have a quarterback better than Nebraska, we were left wondering why the Cornhuskers can't at least be average in this watered-down age of college sports.

--One reason: No speed. The Big Ten made NU irrelevant, as the brain trust in Lincoln got suckered into thinking it needed to bulk up and slow down. In two games combined versus the Buckeyes, while Braxton Miller was healthy, Bo Pinelli's squad was outscored 90-44.

--Another reason: fat players, also with no speed. We wondered how not more than a couple current Huskers show one ounce of muscle tone. We found some answers at Porky Meredith's twitter page, @camyoufeelit , where nearly every posted picture was of -- you guessed it -- food. Of course, it wasn't protein shakes, fruits, vegetables and the like....it was pizzas, pastas, carbs, fats -- the fuel of portly toads everywhere.

--Mack Brown continued his stranglehold on the title of the NCAA's most overpaid coach after taking his annual bottle blasting at the hands of Oklahoma. 63-21 this time around. 36-2 at halftime. Bo Pinelli still has some work to do if he's going to catch the Texas head coach.

--Kansas State: just win, baby. The Mildcats continue to do everything it takes to win...and everything loser teams like Nebraska can't and won't. KSU could be the worst top-five team ever, but one must admire the efficiency and focus they demonstrate each week.

--Did we say worst top five team ever? Maybe second worst, once the Notre Dame Fighting Irish leap into that group after their 'amazing' goal-line stand and victory over Stanford. Cardinal fans can cry all they want about the replay that wasn't, but their coach's last-minute playcalling was the reason for the loss. Frank Solich and Bob Stoops loved the calls, but the rest of the country watched in horror as the final series unfolded. We have just one final wish: ND vs. Alabama in the BCS title game with Tommy Rees starting at quarterback.

--So much for Geno Smith's Heisman. Does Matt Barkley take the lead in that race after leading his USC Trojans to a HUGE, 10-point win over Washington?

--Ohio State held off Indiana, 52-49. Good job, Coach Pinelli! Three MILLION dollars a year for a coach who fields a team that is 22 points worse than Indiana...in football. That might earn the NU hoops coach a raise, but that's way too many zeroes in the paycheck of a boneheaded buffoon who hasn't learned a thing after five seasons as a head coach.

In true fashion, ESPN raved about Miller, Urban and the Suckeyes and failed to mention that they beat Indiana by just three. Another Ohio State 'blowout' inked in the annals of Buckeye lore.

--Glad to see aTm hang on for a two-point win over Lousiana Tech, 59-57. The way the Aggie players were standing around and missing tackles in the second half, we though Private Pinelli had taken command in College Station.

--Nice job, Missouri. Have fun in the SEC.

--PYB sadly has had to take in another lost football season in Lincoln and was bracing for another worthless basketball season. That was, until Friday. We feel so much better about NU's chances on the court this winter.....

-Finally, a little preview of what awaits Nebraska in Evanston next Saturday. A Northwestern team that dominated them last year, and a coach that plays chess in comparison to Pinelli's game of checkers. PYB may have to miss the contest due to a work engagement at another college football game -- and we're not broken up about it.

Do we really need to see Pat Fitzgerald, savvy on the field and off (executing a strategy and engaging the media instead of bullying), run circles around the Blackskirts and their 'leader?' No.

Crown his ass, Private Pinelli.