CFB O/U -- 2012 Edition -- It's Time to Go to Work!

An abbreviated effort from PYB this year, given the fact that Vegas got smart and threw out a ton of 7.5 and 8.5 lines, but an effort nonetheless:

Alabama -- 10.5 -- UNDER. Need two losses from following games. Hopefully, the Tide's shitty offense will make it happen. Bitchigan, at Arkansas, at Missouri, at LSU.

Florida State -- 10 -- UNDER. Free Shoes U was the easiest under bet in 2011 -- as the Noles pissed away their season early. Five loseable games. OVER-RATED to begin with. Cha-ching.

LSU -- 10.5 -- UNDER. No Marijuana Badger. Five loseable games. We like it.

Michigan -- 9 -- UNDER. Bama, at ND, at Purdue, at Nebraska, at Ohio State, Michigan State. There are at least three losses in that list. Push at the worst. Plus, the Tide's speed owns the Shoelace.

Texas -- 9 -- UNDER. The Horns are not good, but are receiving Top 15 ratings because they are Texas. Turns out the football team might be the only thing in Austin more overrated than Sixth Street. You will get three or more losses from the following: at Okie State, West Virginia, Oklahoma, at TT, TCU, at Kansas State.

USC -- 10.5 -- UNDER. How can a team coming off probation NOT win a fucking national title??? It's DENSITY! Just ask ESPN. They'll fucking tell you! In fact, they'll fucking tell you it's a two-team race between the Trojans, Ohio State, Michigan and Notre Dame. Fuck yeah. OK, well, USC's schedule is soft as hell, but we just think they'll lose a couple games.

VaTech -- 9.5 -- UNDER. Don't know much about this team, other than it brings its lunch pail to the game every week. Six loseable games. Don't be a chicken.

Wisconsin -- 9 -- UNDER. Only four loseable games on the slate, but we took the Badgers to win their division because Ohio State and Tickle Island aren't eligible. Count on them losing four games, as their QB-du-jour turns out to be as mobile as former Sun Devil statue Andrew Walter.

All for now...PYB is off early this morning to drive to its 20th HS reunion.....see ya!

Liestrong

PYB in for a quick hitter before heading out on and overnight golf outing.....and hopes to be back with a college football over/under prognostication...if time allows:

--Tiger Woods! What a warrior! Only a stud who completed Navy SEAL training could overcome these kind of debilitating injuries to battle for second-tier PGA Tour titles! Is ths just another sign of his steroid-addled body breaking down, or just the fact that he's a fucking drama queen looking for attention and excuses as to why he can't win a real tournament anymore?

--Anyone with a good suggestion on a sports news site that presents information before over video, Flash features and other glitz & glam.....please let us know. Wahoo! Sports is officially unusable.

--Speaking of unusable....we present the Omaha World-Herald's newly designed sports section. Bravo!!

--Speaking of hilarious.....the Lincoln Urinal-Star is now charging for online content. That's like paying a premium to watch two high-school kids talk about sports on a public access cable channel at 1:30am.....on a Friday!!!

--NU football fans need to hope that Tommy Armstrong is the real deal. Judging from video, he throws like a man, which is more than can be said for any other Cornhusker QB in five years. And apparently, he's smarter than a fifth grader....and stuff. And we're setting the line at 500 for over/under on how many times some dildo spells his first name "Tommie" or misspelling it as Tommie Frazier as "Tommy" in comparison stories over the next five years.

--Prince Amukamara got hurt last night. The New York Giants will have to find someone else to blow coverages and miss tackles for a few weeks.

--Is Lance Armstrong guilty of blood doping? Who knows. If he is, he's one of the most arrogant liars ever. He'd make Eldrick Woods look like Abe Lincoln. If he's innocent, he's getting screwed. Either way, the USADA should have never stripped him of his Tour de France titles. Not because they were necessarily wrong, but to piss off the French pussies who hate Americans regardless of innocence or guilt.

All we got.....PYB

Pippen Ain't Easy

It's Tuesday:

--PYB doesn't know why a story is written about NU's backup quarterbacks. They won't play in 49-7 blowouts, except for one mop-up series that includes a fullback dive and a kneel-down. However, we felt compelled to comment. Perhaps Tommy Armstrong has surprised Tim Beck with his early grasp of the offense, because he is smarter than a rock--which is more than one can say about the starting quarterback....and stuff.

--Is it really news that Barney Cotton sucks? Nebraska football fans have known this for nine years--since his horrible one-year stint as offensive coordinator. He eliminated any questions the next season by blowing Iowa State's one-and-only chance at a Big 12 North title with his horrific playcalling against Missouri.

The Cotton phenomenon is one of the biggest con jobs we've ever witnessed. Somehow, Barney had the nerve to campaign for his sons last week, saying they all deserved their scholarships at NU. When their list of suitors read Iowa State, Ohio and various D-III schools, we respectfully disagree. Notice, the only D-I schools in the prior sentence are ones where Cotton has friends and the Ole Boy Network is alive and well.

--If a lineman gets homesick--FUCKING HOMESICK--do we really expect him to be able to block anyone in front of 80,000 fans on any given Saturday? Next man up. NU's Pipeline will just "reload" with another young stud who's equally adept at racking up false starts and drive-crushing holding penalties 10 yards away from the play.

--Proud PYB follower Antonio Bell gets some pub....

--The OWH's Dirk Chatelain had some gems in his latest blog. Ranking NU's 1990 and 1996 recruiting classes ahead of 1992. The '92 class racked up two national titles, went 60-3 and had five significant NFL players. More titles and NFL guys than the other two...but somehow not as good in his eyes. We'd cast this off as a rare misstep, BUT....

He also says Scottie Pippen would be one of the four players he's remove from the 1992 Olympic basketball team if he had to add four from the 2012 squad. But he'd keep Clyde Drexler. Apparently, he has never seen an NBA game and didn't know that Pippen was one of the best, most versatile defenders ever. He could guard four positions. Anyone watching the sieve-like defense this year's team produced, might appreciate that fact--had they any knowledge of the game.

Enjoy your week....PYB

Pic of the Day

Thanks for this submission from AMG, who filed it from a weekend trip to the Windy City. As always, professional sports fans are a classy bunch.

Purified

Welcome to the weekend:

--Say it along with us, in the whiniest voice that a 40-year-old man can possibly make: "Throw it to Maurice Purify...fuuuuuucck!"

--Dwight Howard to Los Angeles. The NBA is fucking rigged. It makes the WWE look authentic. PYB will play fantasy basketball going forward. We won't follow results of games. Why doesn't Emperor Stern just create four all-star teams and disband the rest? In effect, that's what he's already let happen. Anyway, another great Adrian Wojnarowski piece, chronicling the fact the Howard is a pussy.

--Who knows if any of NU's most recent signees can play, but we like the fact that Bo Pinelli has decided that stockpiling players from the South who can run is a decent idea. Get the intangibles. Figure the rest out later.

--We don't like the Big Ten brainwashing that has led Nebraska to target slow running backs. Hello, 3.2 ypc and 13-9 games. Where's Pam Ward when you need her?

--Finally, more embarrassing Olympic phenomenon: the inevitable female-athlete meltdown followed by immediate sobfest OR overly cocky female victor who struts around like Keyshawn Johnson after a five-yard reception? Too tough to call for us....both make us look away from the television and pretend it didn't happen.

Enjoy your Saturday...PYB

PS--We can't agree more about Roy Williams.....and Rick Barnes.

Let's Get Ready to Mumble, and Stuff

PYB has learned some things in recent days, as Cornhusker football coverage ramps up:

1. Taylor Martinez has a new throwing motion and is ready to step up, and stuff.

2. NU has its deepest roster of offensive linemen since Bo Pinelli came to Lincoln -- and perhaps its most talented.

3. Nebraska has some new, BIG, I-backs. This will help them gain yards in the rugged Big Ten, while losing any chance to compete on a national level. We've always said that a subpar big back is better than having LaMichael James (skip to the 1:30 mark of this video for some gratuitous Gus Johnson cameos). PYB is just happy that we've finally landed the next Cody Glenn and Quentin Castille.

4. The backup quarterbacks will see more snaps in 2012. They didn't get any in 2011, because Martinez was in his first year in a new offense. His mediocre present was more important than the program's long-term future.

5. The Big Red still has enough juice to outduel Arkansas and Missouri for an offensive lineman who plays lacrosse.

6. Signing a three-star lineman warrants a ticker-tape parade these days.

7. Justin Blatchford is really good at getting lined up in the right spot. The reporter who did the feature story on him had to go back three full seasons to find a highlight play worth mentioning.

8. The NU defensive line is healthy and has a new coach. Notice no mention has been made about the unit actually making a play this season.

Moving on....

--PYB is shocked that Aleks Maric was not able to help Australia overcome Team USA yesterday in Olympic basketball action. When we flipped it on, the USA was leading 80-68. A few minutes later, the Americans were up 30 points and rolled to a 119-86 win. The decisive run was impressive, even for this band of ingrates.

Kobe Bryant was hot and nailing fast-break jumpers from downtown. James Harden was running the break and dunking. Carmelo Anthony was trying to be Kobe and was grinding the offense to a halt. It was fun to watch. It was also sad to think about the fact that only highlights NU basketball has these days in when players from five years ago chip in two points a game in the Olympics -- for Nigeria and Australia.

--As fun as that was, watching Usain Bolt preen and prance before his 200m prelim race was disgusting. Bolt got a Michael-Buffer-type, personalized introduction before the race. Is this the Olympics or the latest rigged fight courtesy of Don King? What happened to 'amateurism' and the spirit of competition over corporate greed? Intros should go as follows: "Lane 5, Usain Bolt, Jamaica."

--PYB has been burned for the umpteenth Olympiad in a row. Every other night, we think it'd be a nice night to catch some Olympic action only to forget the coverage on NBC's side networks shuts down at 7pm for 'alternate programming' and forces us to watch the same events on the main network over and over and over. If you don't like the contrived beach volleyball format, or synchronized diving, or watching the same exact gymnastics events done for the third time by the same competitors----you are fucked.

--Finally, Nebraska basketball added a regular-season tournament to its schedule for the first time in several years (too lazy to look it up). The Joe Cipriano Nebraska Classic will honor the late, former NU coach. The schedule will take place across four sites and is pretty much unintelligible. We stared at the slate for 10 minutes yesterday and are still not sure how the format works.

We like the idea, but as usual with the NU AD, the execution is uninspired. The format needs to be as follows. Four teams. Play it at the NU Coliseum. Serve beer (pipe dream). Pack the house. This has been our vision for years, but know that planners would only point out obstacles instead of just making a great event.

All for now.....PYB

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Obviously, PYB's favorite meathead is ready. That is, of course, if football is what he's trying to portray with the second-rate NFL gear and jeans combo. It's either a center/quarterback exchange or a massive orgasm. Massive, of course, because everything this massive stud does is massive. The facial expression makes it unclear.

What is clear, however, looking at picture two, is that Vanity Smurf has always liked the finer things in life---expensive softball bats, wearing football jerseys as a grown man, turtlenecks, and of course a white 1980s camaro with a bra on the front.

The rest of us can only dream....

What's in the Box?

Interesting indeed.....apparently Carl Pinelli's departure from Lincoln didn't end his contact with the woman who was the subject of the rumors that he was plowing a woman that wasn't his wife.  One can only guess what's in the box? What's in the box? Photos? Panties?? A secret map to all the three-star gem recruits hidded at Catholic high schools in Ohio???

Think what you will, but this PYB exclusive surely proves that NU fans have nothing better to do than stalk Bo Pinelli, his family and his players in hopes that they play....poorly. Poor guy.

John Doe has the upper hand...