The BBD

In honor of PYB's first-ever viewing of the classic 1980s tit flick, Harbodies, we give you the famous BBD. Bigger, Better Deal. It's what all the beach sluts wanted in 1984 and what everyone is chasing in 2012. The BBD, of course, means different things to different people:

--Ron Brown's BBD is eradicating gay people from the globe. Brown seems to be a nice guy, but totally delusional. Ron...it's 2012 and Jesus Christ ain't walking through that door any time soon....

--PYB's BBD is having the next point-shaving slimeball drop us a phone call before he decides to throw a college hoops game. Will Auburn get away unscathed like it did after the Cam Newton sham?

--Nebraska basketball's BBD is a coach not named Ken Sadler. Tom Osborne axed the affable Sadler yesterday in a gut-wrenching, tear-filled press conference. Nebraska needs to seriously pursue a black head coach, if a qualified fit is available. It's high time to refocus the program. However, the early mention of UAB's Mike Davis does not sit well with us. Davis was last seen being a complete disaster at Indiana.

We feel as badly as anyone about Sadler's dismissal, because he didn't trash a Top 10 program like Rat Solich or Mike Anderson. But he couldn't have seriously been surprised with the firing. Some leeway can be given for NU's most recent disastrous season, due to injuries. However, Sadler was losing four starters from the current squad, had no point guard waiting in the wings, and his only two centers had chronic injuries that made a return to the court questionable at best. That said, the only other time we remember seeing Osborne near tears is when Brook Berringer died.

Good luck, Doc. Hopefully we see you at SMU soon.

--The Kansas Jayhawks' BBD is not choking in March for once. KU was dominated by Baylor last night in the Big 12 tournament semifinal. We expect another premature exit in the NCAA Tournament next week.

--The New York Knicks' BBD is ridding themselves of Cancerous Carmelo Anthony, who has turned Linsanity on its side and put the team back on track to be a sub-.500 unit. PYB laughs as it hears black players and commentators trash Lin's game after he puts up 20+ points and 10+ assists, saying that Fat Baron Davis needs to be the starting PG in NYC. What a joke. Davis is the laziest, fattest (Eddy Curry lost weight), most overpaid player in the league and misses 60% of his team's games each and every year.

Fat Number 85 has NEVER won and never will. He is so fat he wears a back brace like Office Depot employees do when they lift a box of computer paper off the shelf for you. Any support for him as starting PG can be discounted as jealousy and groupthink. NYK, on a four-game slide after losing last night in Milwaukee, has a couple more days to trade Anthony or the D'Antoni ship will sink again and for good.


--Speaking of cancerous Knicks, JR Smith's BBD is a fat, pale, disgusting ass.

All for now, as we chase our BBD for this weekend--a few college hoops winners as we watch the end of the conference tournament action and await the real tournament next week.

PS--Hardbodies 2 is absolutely awful. Fewer tits, no good lines, no good! Hence, its 2.3-star rating on IMDB.com.