American Idle

PYB hates Saturdays when Nebraska is IDLE, or what is now referred to as a bye week. A bye week, even though there is no tournament taking place. Technically, it's idle, if you ever watched Jim Lampley read down the scores on Saturday afternoons before tickers existed and the only way a person got the finals on the day's upsets was watching ABC or listening to a shitty radio with bad reception.

Sure, there are a ton of other college games. But without a stake in the game for your team, there's no fire or anticipation to the day. Time to golf and gamble, and sure that's great...it's just not the same. Anyway, we hate it. So on that end, here some more things we hate from our "Shit We Hate" department.

--People who call us guy or pal.....as in "Hey, guy..." F- you, douche.

--People who bring their own pillows on airplanes

--People who close the window shade on airplanes so we can't see out

--Fuckers that lean their seats back on airplanes

--Realtors (Average IQ of 50, but are still cocky)

--Mortgage brokers

--The drooling idiots who sit in model homes and call themselves 'sales people'

--People who spray shit all over public toilets and leave it

--Dirtbags who walk around locker room toilets and urinals in bare feet

--People who drop three-inch-long pubes all over public bathrooms/showers

--Those who sit naked on locker room benches, with their nuts rubbing all over

--Those who shave naked at gyms and flop their crank all over the sink area

--Iceberg lettuce

--Cocky high school graduates. The ones who could never get into college and act like it doesn't faze them because they make $85,000 a year and have 2 Wave Runners

--Baseball fans that boo intentional walks

--People who bring outside food onto airplanes that smell up the entire cabin

--People who don't say anything when wanting to get to the seat on the other side of you on a Southwest flight. This is general admission, motherfucker, and I don't read minds.

--Free airport WiFi that NEVER works

--Cheap dress shoes

--Cheap dress pants

--Cheap dress belts

--Reversible belts

--Belt buckles that are so heavy when you undo them to take a piss the whole belt comes out of the loops and nearly plunges into the urinal

--Stoners that act like they're cooler than you because they know more about drugs than you do

--People who are so stupid they use apostrophe s when trying to denote something plural (apparently, this covers 95% of the U.S. population) Example: Taylor Martinez blew the game with three interception's

--Top 40 music

--R&B music

--DJs (any of the pricks that ruin weddings or radio stations. It's really not that great that it's Friday, or that you made it past Humpday and it's not that fucking bad that it's Monday morning either.

--People who stroke In & Out Burger like it's the greatest thing ever. It's OK. It's fine. It's not great.

--Slide shows on web pages with links that move up or down with each click so that you have to search for it with your mouse on every picture rather than just enjoying the god damn slide show.

--The scumbag live version of Eric Clapton's "Cocaine" with all the white trash clapping in the background and going apesh1t every time he says the word cocaine like they're being rebellious for listening to the song and knowing what cocaine is.

--Bands that you love ruining every song at their live shows by extending them from a kickass 2:30 to a nine-minute, overdone, watered-down travesty.

--When referring to somebody being a good person, saying "He's good people." Awful

--Public restrooms that don't give the paper towel option. Just the blow dryer that doesn't work.

--LOL, SMH, FML, LMFAO.....F U

--FM radio morning shows.

--Politics

--Andy Dick

--People who wish every one of their 555 Facebook friends a happy birthday on their wall. If you really liked them and weren't just trying to show everyone else what a great person you are, you would send them a private message, e-mail, birthday card or would have picked up the fucking phone and called them.

--David Spade

--Bermuda grass

--Crab grass

--Fans in bathrooms. They are loud and don't work. The fan's main purpose is to cover up the sounds of someone taking a dump and not exhausting the noxioius fumes.

--Chris Berman announcing the Masters and U.S. Open golf tournaments

--Tim McCarver

--Johnny Miller. Well, sometimes. Now he's so old and delusional that the self-proclaimed "Greatest Iron Player Ever" (with one major title) is good for some laughs.

--The fact that Monday Night Football sucks these days.

--Mesa, AZ

--Tucson, AZ

--Plano, TX

--Omaha (no offense, of course, to all our great friends that grew up and live there. It's not you, it's us. We promise)

--Dirty cities (Not to be confused with being old & having character. see above)

--Werner Enterprises (Ditto on the no offense thing)

--Playing golf when the course is not green

--Playing golf when trees are leafless

--Slow golfers

--Reality-show sluts confusing themselves with actresses

--Tiger Woods (as a person. complete fake)

--Lebron James (not as a person, just as a self-proclaimed "Icon")

--Karl Malone

--Kobe Bryant

--Eric Crouch

--Blaine Gabbert

--Tyler Gabbert

--The BCS (and the fact it fucking ruined New Year's Day)

--Ben Rapelisberger

--Any golf cart that is not Club Car (ie, Yamaha and EZ-Go)

--Gas golf carts

--PF Chang's (and the fact everyone creams over it)

--Chinese food

--Lettuce wraps

--Dark meat chicken

--The way food looks in advertisements with non-professional photography

--MSG (not the Garden, the shitty preservative in Asian food)

--ESPN

--Conference realignment

--Mark May

--Tony Barnhart

--Colin Montgomerie (In the 1990s, now he's just a has-been joke)

--Municipal golf courses

--The Lincoln Journal Star

--The fact that Nebraska never has cool gear for fans to wear to represent the team.

--The stupid, fat "Iron N" logo that the University of Nebraska insists on using over the classic, helmet N. Embrace tradition and realize the 1980s ended 22 years ago.

--The fact that Bill Byrne dropped the name Cornhuskers for 'Huskers. Hello, it's Nebraska, it's an agricultural state. That's your identity. Embrace it. You can't change it.

--The N/Huskers logo

--The fact that Nebraska football hasn't been nationally relevant since 2001 and may never be again.

--UNO

--Creighton

--People who try to equate the amount they spent on their education with getting a quality education and being intelligent. "You wasted $150k on an education you coulda got for $1.50 in late charges from the public library."

--People who say we're too negative.

All for now....feel free to send us the Shit You Hate....enjoy your BYE week.