Sunday Service

A few PYB musings as we watch Roger Federer bang his head against the wall in trying to beat Rafael Nadal in the French Open Final...and as we wonder if there is a better announcer to listen to than John McEnroe...

1. Shaq O'Neal retired this week. He mentioned he has SIX kids. Apparently, condoms don't come that big. Overpopulation at its finest.

2. Let's discuss the Darin Erstad hire at Nebraska. Overall, PYB is fine with it. But there are doubts. Doubts as to whether a person who is that uptight & driven by perfection can accept the mediocrity he is inheriting. Can he push players to their limits and improve them, or will such a hardline stance burn them out? In today's age, where players are pussies for the most part, it's a tough balancing act. But if Kansas State can make a regional, a return to the field of 64 cannot be too far away. This is with or without the already impossibly overhyped Bubba Starling. PYB does not give a shit if he ever plays a down or an inning in Lincoln.

There are no bones about the fact that Tom Osborne took the easy way out on this one. Regardless of NU's winning percentage in upcoming years, fans will fill the seats mostly because Erstad played football at Nebraska. A few will also come, because they think that the two-time all-star was one of the top five players in MLB history because he was a Cornhusker. A Cornhusker at a time when none of these bandwagoneers followed the program anyway...

Let's keep in mind that Osborne's track record on hiring head coaches is not a good one. Frank Solich was a complete disaster, and the football program has not come out of the tailspin that The Rat started in 1998. That is 13 years--far from a blip on the radar. The only other hire was Bo Pinelli, who fixed the defense but has yet to field an offense that deserves to be called Top 25 material. Top 50 for that matter.

Also, what happens if things don't pan out? NU is at risk of then losing an alumni that donated $1 million to the university.

But the bright side, which we ALWAYS strive to shine on our readers, is that the program cannot get any worse. Three straight last-place conference finishes proves that, a topic that has been covered ad nauseum on this site. Big Red Baseball is broken, Erstad better fix it now or it may never be relevant again. We will find out right away next spring, not necessarily by the number of wins but by attitude, heart and attention to the thousands of details that must be covered for a baseball program to succeed. Fix those traits, and the wins will soon follow. Just ask Dave Van Horn.

So for now, we'll wait. And in the meantime, we'll hope the Nebraska media takes off the kneepads while sucking off (figuratively, of course) the new coach for his tough demeanor and the fact that he watched a couple game tapes before a meaningless September baseball game 10 years ago. And please cease the "Erstad will help NU keep Starling" storyline. Who cares. Whoever shows up in the fall plays. Whoever doesn't--doesn't. All the internet-recruiting junkie fans can stroke it to Bubba's football game tapes against sub-par, small-town Kansas competition.

3. Game Three of the NBA Finals is this evening. Tonight's contest follows one of the most historic playoff meltdowns of all time--a meltdown that surprised everyone except anyone who has watched LeQueen James play in the past. James helped singlehandedly blow the game by stubbornly refusing to ditch his favorite offense, known as the "dribble for 20 seconds at the top of the key and then take a shitty pullup jumper."

Media puppets lauded his "unlimited" range and great shooting prowess after a two-game hot streak. He even made a few jumpers during the first 3.5 quarters Thursday night. Thankfully, Jeff Van Gundy called them out as being horrible shots.

Then the old Queen showed up, sprinkling some South Beach sand into the gears of a potentially unstoppable Miami Heat offensive machine. When James penetrates the defense, gets Chris Bosh involved and breaks down the opponent, they are unstoppable. Unfortunately for Miami's bandwagon (and fortunately for the rest of the country), he is too arrogant or too stupid to realize this. Series tied 1-1. Was this just the Queen being her regal self or a David Stern rig job to help nail down a few more advertising dollars over seven games?

As for the Jordan comparisons, anyone who fakes injuries and flops on a nightly basis can never be called the best to ever play the game. PYB can't remember MJ EVER flopping or acting like a pussy in general. Sure, he bitched about calls but he never hopped off the bench like a spoiled girl when he thought a teammate got fouled. Did he flex and pose and preen after every dunk or Chicago Bull scoring run? Hell no.

So, we root for the Mavs, all sucked in by Stern's marketing machine. Hopefully, at least, we can win a few bucks off the deal either way....