PYB's Greatest Hits...

PYB saw Jon Vilma on Sunday Night Football and was reminded of a few of our favorite hits:

One...
Two...
Three....

And a last one for humor's sake...

KD's Stalker...

This is creepy but cool in a weird way...The best part is that Durant has a shitty driveway hoop like everyone else.

Run Roy Run

The more everyone talked about a change of the guard coming Saturday, the more things stayed the same. Same Missouri. Same Gary Pinkel. Same Blaine Gabbert. Same Shawn Watson. Same Roy Helu. Same Helu to everyone, apparently, except Watson.

Nebraska pounded Missouri in a 31-17 victory that featured several big hits, and a near come-from-ahead loss designed by Watson himself. Helu jumped out of the box with a 66-yard TD on Nebraska's first play, added a 73-yarder on his third carry and stood at 142 yards at that point. Then, in true Watson form, he quit using his best running back. Quit using the best running back in the Big 12.

He took his foot off the gas and appeared disinterested in scoring during the second and third quarters. Watson let the Tigers creep back into the game. Sure, the defense had given up some yards, but they had held the nation's fifth-ranked team (hahahaha) to just 14 points through most of three quarters. He almost blew the game, and this time, more needlessly than ever. Apparently, Helu's dominant performance was a surprise to the Wise One. Finally, in the fourth quarter, Watson was forced to hand it to Helu, over and over, due to Zac Lee's general ineptitude passing the ball. Lee can officially be crowned the King of the Nine Step Drop and Three Yard Pass.

Helu brought the victory home, racking up 10 carries and 53 yards to drain the clock. And this couldn't have worked against a Texas team that got blasted by Iowa State and lost to Baylor Saturday? Please.

As for Pinkel, he proved overmatched in yet another big game. He didn't adjust to the gimmick defense Nebraska showed. Well, except for that awful stack formation that ceded a 33-yard waltz into the endzone for Mizzou's first score. And somehow, NU tried it again only to see another Tiger touchdown nullified by penalty. Pinkel proved he is perfect for Missouri. A second-rate coach for a second rate program. A has-been and never-will-be.

Even more perfect is his marriage with his starting QB Blaine Gabbert. PYB has called it for some time--Gabbert melts under pressure. He had an even more meaningless passing day than usual, throwing for 199 yards on 42 attempts. That's a pathetic average of less than five yards. Even more pathetic than his season average of 7.1 yards. You could see it in his eyes, as the Blackshirts' weak pass rush rattled him during the first series. You could see it in the second half, when he ducked like a seventh grader as the oncoming blitz from Courtney Osborne closed in. Enjoy the NFL, the league always needs a few more clipboard holders.

This was a good win. A great win, in terms of what it means for the rest of this season. But in Frank Solich fashion, it should have been bigger. There were more positives (Helu's possible emergence as workhorse RB, Ciante Evans playing great in the stead of Alfonzo Dennard who got crushed by friendly fire from new starter Osborne, defense tackling better and stifling the run game a bit, a bit of noise from the blue hairs at Memorial) than negatives (injuries to two of NU's top three players, Dennard and Taylor Martinez, Watson's continued ability to outsmart himself, the terrible pash rush, another exhibit as to why the Big 12 has the worst fucking officials in the country).

Now the Cornhuskers travel to Ames for a matchup with Iowa State. Will they be looking for revenge for last year's 9-7 loss, or will they come in fat & happy as is the norm in college football these days after a big win? This is not a game to be overlooked. Which Doctor Watson will show up? It could mean the difference between a second straight trip to Dallas or another trip to San Diego.

Vettes are Cool

About as cool as the Miami Heat's game introductions against the Orlando Magic last night. Believe us, the version on ESPN was much worse...but not findable to this point. But who are apparently are again indestructible after losing to an aged Celtics team who blew them out of the gym until late in the game.

Numbers Behind the Fraud

Amen. Great analysis by Dirk Chatelain of the OWH....

A bit long but worth the listen here...especially any time an ESPN employee gets worked.

And, of course...so much for breaking the Bulls' 72-10 mark! No chemistry in what PYB saw last nite. No center. Ouch.

Recapping

--Nebraska somehow slipped by Okie State Saturday, as its WRs 'redeemed' themselves by doing what they're supposed to do. Shawn Twatson cemented himself in his own mind as Bill Walsh II and had Taylor Martinez throw the ball 35 times. Sure, it worked (this time), against the pathetic Cowboy defense. However, Martinez nearly threw a couple crushing INTs, as he forced the ball into double & triple coverage. PYB just knows the Wise Watson will be slinging it all over the field against Missouri. Just like last year in the driving rain, as he continually ran 15-yard outs on a slick field. Against OSU, Roy Helu and Rex Burkhead got 25 touches. Not even close to enough.

The standard run game will be needed against good teams, and the Tigers are good. They aren't great, though every media outlet will make them out to be because they beat a mediocre Oklahoma team. What the Tigers are great at, however, is throwing four-yard passes. Blaine Gabbert is, and always will be, a pussy who racks up passing yardage because he throws 40-50 times a game. He had 308 on 42 attempts against the Sooners and 1899 yards on 269 attempts for the season. At seven yards per attempt, those are Joe Dailey-esque numbers. Cover well and tackle surely, and the Huskers win this game.

The lesson here, as always, is that Watson is an idiot and looks great against shitty defenses but can't find a bread & butter against good units.

So let's examine the goods & bads as we head into the battle for the B12 North Saturday:

Good
-Big play offensive ability (except against UT when it counted)
-Ability to run and pass
-Fewer penalties
-Fewer offensive line mistakes
-Just one fumble

Bad
-Watson wavering between running the read 50 times or passing 35 times. Duh.
-Shitty fucking tackling
-No pressure from the front four (will kill vs. Missouri)
-Shitty blitz selection
-Shitty blitz timing
-NU whining about sucking at home after 40 years of being invincible in Lincoln.
-Offensive line not blowing other D-Lines off the ball

As for a prediction, who the hell knows. This team is bipolar, and so are we after watching them. Just another day in the shit world of watered-down college football.

--On that note, Auburn is the top-ranked team in the BCS. PYB thought Oklahoma was the worst top-ranked team of any sort in CFB history. Well, Auburn takes that honor now, hands down. Poor Boise can't crack the top two because of their schedule, but Auburn wrangles away the top slot with non-conference opponents of Arkansas State, Louisiana-Monroe and Chattanooga? If the Eagles/Tigers do make it through the next three games undefeated, we cannot wait to see them piss the bed against Alabama.

--Speaking of pissing the bed: How 'Bout them Cowgirls??!!!!!

--Apparently rigging two Super Bowls for Pittsburgh wasn't enough, as the NFL added another travesty to its list of undeserved Steeler wins. Ben Rapelisberger fumbles into the endzone, but the replay cannot rightfully give possession to the Dolphins because the referees quit paying attention to who recovered the ball because they had incorrectly ruled the play a touchdown? Somehow, four Miami players jumping on the ball isn't conclusive enough to determine who recovered the fumble because one Steeler jumped on top of them? The hits keep coming.

--Will NU lock this recruit down, or will it be another in the litany of ones that got away? If so, oh well....PYB remembers Niles Paul playing in the US Army All-American Bowl and he is terrible.

Brett Favre is a Bitch

For you Hub...courtesy of Deadspin....

Brett Favre Is A Bitch

Brett Favre Is A BitchI'm a Vikings fan, so I apologize in advance for any and all homerism contained within this rant. But my team lost last night because our QB is a fucking bitch.

I know that Brett Favre has started four zillion straight games. We only hear about it going in and out of every fucking commercial break. I couldn't start that many games in a row (or even one) and remain intact, and I'm well aware of that fact. BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT DOES GIMPY MCDEERSTAND MILK EVERY GODDAMN DRIP OUT OF THAT FUCKING RECORD.

No one has ever gotten more mileage out of his nagging injuries than this asshole. It all started last night when Favre got dragged down on a play and ran over to the sidelines hobbling on "the ankle." Al Michaels spoke repeatedly of "the ankle," because you, the viewer, should be on a fucking first-name basis with all of the Land Baron's injuries by now.

Then they cut to Favre on the sidelines staring at game stills and waving off the trainer, and then Al threw it down to Andrea Fakelashes and she was like, "Brett wouldn't talk to the trainers! HE'S SUCH A FUCKING TURBOSTUD DURRRRRR CREAMED PANTIES!" Then Favre went right back out onto the field and threw a goddamn pick, one of three last night, with surely more to come on his Charity Dick Six Farewell Tour. Fucking COCK.

And what does Favre do after that pick? He hobbles off the field, of course. He hobbles openly, so that it can be noted by Al and Cris so that you, the viewer at home, understand that it was totally the ankle's fault. (Or Randy Moss's or Percy Harvin's. Normally, I really like Cris Collinsworth. But he bent over backward and kissed his own asshole last night to tell you that Moss and Harvin were out of position on two of those picks that were clearly bad decisions. Meanwhile, Collinsworth is CRUSHING Aaron Rodgers for missing out routes on the other side of the ball. Favre is like fucking announcer kryptonite. He'll reduce even the best analyst to a slobbering idiot.) Favre has been pulling this shit for two decades now. He makes a shithead play, then grabs an assorted body part to let you know that yes, he threw that pick. BUT YOU'RE LUCKY HE'S EVEN OUT THERE, GUTTING ONE OUT FOR YOU.

And the announcers fall for this shit EVERY time. Every time. It's ridiculous. Especially when he looks fine five minutes later. Last night, I heard Al Michaels comment at least two times that "the elbow" looked great (again, first-name basis). They loooove telling you that Favre looks great throwing the ball despite an injury. NOTHING WRONG WITH THE ELBOW ON THAT PLAY! Favre wants to use the injury as an excuse when he fucks up, and then he wants the injury played up as icing to whatever futile catch-up TD he throws five minutes later. LOOK EVERYONE! IT'S A MIRACLE! HE'S STILL GOT SOME BULLETS LEFT IN THE GUN! HE'S BRAVER THAN ANNE FRANK! Look at the gumption he displayed hobbling out of his own press conference after his coach nailed him to the wall!

Remember: Favre is the guy who passed along photos of his bruised ankle (from the NFC title game) to the SNF crew before the season opener against New Orleans. He clearly wanted those photos shown on national TV just so you knew how courageous he had been for standing in harm's way. And so that, when he comes up gimpy after a fumble, you know precisely where to the lay the blame.

I'm sick of him trying to have it both ways. Are you hurt, you fuck? Then come out of the goddamn game and let Tarvaris Jackson make a few surprising plays before inevitably reverting back to being Tarvaris Jackson. If you wanna stay in, quit relaying excuses to the suckers in the booth. Clearly, you're using the size of your fucking cortisone shots to compensate for other things. I kept expecting Favre to grab his dick after a pick last night so Al could say, "Oop! Look at that! The Sterger controversy is clearly getting to him, Cris."

Any coach with half a nutsack would have benched that fucker in the first half against the Jets. It's now at the point where I really hope Goodell suspends Favre, just so I don't have to watch him "gut out" another pick-laden choke job. Because I'm sick of seeing my team led by the toughest pussy around.

Kickoff Time

--Let's start the weekend by thanking Shawn Watson for assigning a lot of blame for the Texas loss to his freshman QB. Sure, it may be true, but who does this publicly? If you do do it, take some accountability for your many faults: lack of performance in big games, continued failure to get your players in position to be successful, failure to carve out an offensive identity against good teams, being slow to adjust the gameplan when Plan A is not working and obviously not going to work, etc.

--So much for NU's depth at tight end this weekend......whatever will the team do? Not throw to them?

--Now to a happier topic. PYB likes the below this weekend:

Penn St. -9.5 at Minnesota: Sure they both suck but betting against Cosgrove is fun.

OU -3.5 at Mizzou: Show Me you're not a pretender, Tigers. Won't happen

NU -5.5 at Okie St.: NU will get back on track against bad OSU defense (big)

Tennessee +17 vs. 'Bama: Can Alabama score 17 points in one game?

Texas Tech -2.5 at Colorado: Couldn't beat Baylor, won't beat the Raiders

And just for the fuck of it: Take Navy money line over Notre Dame to see if the Midshipmen can make it three straight over the Irish.

And finally, the gayest thing PYB has ever seen in college football, especially considering this travesty was instituted by the nation's top-ranked team. We had to suffer through this on ESPN last night. We love the uniforms, hate the flash cards. Is this a child's memory game or Division I football? We'd expect as much out of Kansas State or Eastern Washington. But the Quacks? Please. Stop. If you have to do it, at least go with some porn shots of a whore getting railed and the word "COCK" emblazoned on one quadrant. Or Nike. Or Sellout. Or Pretender.

God Bless Viagra...

And now, as promised, some scenery from Oxford.











And if you thought those pictures were creepy, this is more creepy.

Diva

Leave it to Niles Paul to make things about him. His two dropped TDs and four overall had a huge hand in losing the game for his team against Texas. Now, apparently, he has somehow gotten the Omaha World-Herald to print apologetic columns backing him. Please.

It was the third time in two years. But, now it's all about how unfair it is that he is persecuted by his hometown fans.

The main reason for all the flack is that Nebraskans don't like whiners. Whiners who are overhyped. Whiners who don't produce. Whiners who talk ab
out how prime time they are, when they in fact couldn't hold the jock of two recent receivers who just shut up and played. Todd Peterson and Nate Swift. Fans never heard a peep out of them. They also never heard NU's better playmakers whining about touches or mean fans...not Roy Helu, not Rex Burkhead, not Brandon Kinnie.

Shut up and produce, or go away.

Attention Cornhusker fans: we always have been told by Shawn Watson that we are not smart enough to know why our offensive playmakers never get the ball. Now, apparently, starting WR/TE Mike McNeill is just as dumb as we are. He just doesn't understand the whole picture. We get it now. Somehow, Tom Osborne could always get it to mediocre tight ends for big yardage, but Watson can never get it to a supposed all-american caliber tight end. Twats at his finest. Please fire him soon.

And finally this morning, the OWH's Lee Barfknecht will help run the apologist campaign for Niles Paul, but as always, jumped on his first chance to show how 'objective' he is by dropping NU to fifth in his Big 12 rankings. Fifth, after losing to his supposed second-ranked B12 outfit. Fifth, behind two pretenders in Okie State and Mizzou. Did he miss the OSU-Texas A&M game where both teams proved they were awful? This should be expected with Mizzou, however, as Barfknecht has always had a man crush on Blain Gabbert despite the fact that every pass he throws is five yards and that he pisses the bed as soon as he gets roughed up a tad.

PS--And this just in. Now there is too much pressure for NU to play well at home. After 50 years of playing great, it is just too much to ask. What a joke.

Yet Again...

Let's get the post-mortem started by quoting one of our passages from last week:

As long as Shawn Twatson and Barney Cotton don't get in the way, and NU remembers it has two great running backs, the Cornhuskers should find a way to win. But let's remember, NU is 1-7 against the Longhorns since 1996 and have invented ways to blow games in six of those contests. An effective passing game will be key, as will ball security. Nebraska's blowout wins have made us forget that fumbles have been a big problem. Putting it on the carpet against Texas won't work.

Looking at the above, NU's choke job was the perfect storm of the aforementioned bugaboos:

1. Shawn Twatson did get in the way, or at least refused to make an adjustment away from the zone read play after Taylor Martinez couldn't run it properly and to the base run game he employed with Zac Lee.

2. Barney Cotton's boys didn't blow anyone off the line and committed enough penalties to thwart what little momentum the pathetic NU offense did generate.

3. NU invented yet another way to lose to an inferior Texas team. PYB favorite Roy Helu, in a deeply disappointing effort, pulled a Niles Paul and put the ball on the carpet early and spotted the Longhorns seven points and essentially the game. Even after, he gained a few yards but ran like a pussy and didn't finish any of his subsequent runs with the aggression to which we're accustomed.

4. NU dropped four fucking TD passes. This has to be some sort of record. Even Rex Burkhead got into the act and Brandon Kinnie's was the backbreaker on a last-gasp 4th & 18. Of course, leading the way in ineptitude, was PYB's favorite diva Niles Paul. In addition to two dropped TDs, he tacked on at least two more drops. Most amazingly, he still think he's big-time when he should probably, seriously be at Nebraska-Omaha. If you suck, we have no problem with you. If you suck and talk about how great you are while continually fucking up....we hate you.

Let's cover a few more gaffes that cost the Cornhuskers this game. Keep in mind, they pissed the bed from the opening kickoff, couldn't have played worse....and still lost by just seven points.

1. Not one player, outside of Alfonzo Dennard, showed up and played with any type of balls, guts, will or determination. They are talented, yet soft. The only other player to show fire is center Mike Caputo. Is this a sign of the times or just the personality of NU's team? Without Ndamukong Suh throwing around offensive lineman, the mean streak is completely missing.

2. Tackling was atrocious. Not since the Kevin Cosgrove/Frank Solich eras have we seen so many whiffs and failures to wrap up. Rickey Thenarse brought back the ghosts of Dion Booker, Philip Bland, and Clint Finley in just three hours. His misses also allowed the Longhorns to turn eight-yard gains into 25-30 yard gains and prolong drives and slowly sap NU's chances at a comeback.

To their credit, Texas also smartly exploited LaVonte David's inexperience, using play action open up huge holes in the short passing game. They did the same to buy lead-footed Garrett Gilbert precious yardage on scrambles for first-down conversions. Never has PYB seen the Brothers Pelini so consistently outfoxed when holding the upper hand in talent.

3. NU lost the special teams war. Most important was its failure to adjust to the cross-field gay-ass rugby punts that got downed at the one-yard line two separate times. One pinned NU so deep in its own territory that its 16-play drive that followed only got them close enough for a FG (following Paul's 2nd dropped TD of the day). Hey dickfucks, put TWO men back to receive these! The company line was that they couldn't because UT ran a fake punt a few times the last few years.....but it seems to us that Tom Osborne ran two-deep returns for many years with no issues.

4. A lot was made of Pelini's decision to make the onside kick with three minutes remaining and two timeouts in his pocket. PYB can't criticize this decision, as in the long run, doing this does give them two chances instead of one to get the ball back (despite making it a longer way to go for a tying score). And it wasn't like the NU defense had been stifling the Longhorn run game all day. They weren't terrible, but ceded more than 200 yards with its soft front and bad tackling. We'd have supported the decision more fervently had Alex Henery shown that he had a better onside kick prepared than the high-schoolish effort he provided.

So where does the season go for Martinez? We've seen his limitations: he's a freshman, he can make bad reads, he's not a pure passer and he has no elusiveness in avoiding the pass rush (aka side to side...which makes him more like Eric Crouch than Tommie Frazier every day). But his upside is still great. Blazing straight-ahead speed and an effective arm if his coach and teammates call the right plays and catch the ball. What about a rollout or two to give him a run-pass option where he can make a quick read and then pass or bolt? We realize that's a lot to ask of Watson, but it's entirely possible. Can NU utilize a tight end? Which begs the question here...same one PYB railed about last season....

Can the defense fix its tackling woes? Can it create more pressure on the QB from here on? The blitz schemes were uncharacteristically shitty and ineffective Saturday. Can it find a way to be the aggressor despite it's undersized front seven? Judging from the Pelinis' track record, we have to give them the benefit of the doubt and say yes.

As far as Watson goes, we have to say no. We've seen how much help he provides young QBs when he called the most brutal plays he could while shattering Cody Green's career last season. Pure and simple, he's a front-runner. Get him out in front, against shitty competition and he can mix up the run and pass and look like Bill Walsh. Provide even the slightest resistance and he has no identity, no clue. Just like when he was at Colorado.

It took him until the end of the third quarter to realize that the zone play wasn't working and that Martinez was continually fucking up the reads. There was decent success moving the ball with Zac Lee. The counter sweep worked nicely. Is Martinez not able to hand the ball off? How he continually gets a free pass from a head coach as demanding as Pelini is a mystery. Does he have some sort of Cosgrovian spell cast over him by Twats? We may never know.

Anyway, going forward we like NU's chances. NU choked. Pissed the bed. Got dominated by a lesser team. But they have a chance at redemption the next two games, against overrated, yet ranked, opponents. PYB has seen Oklahoma State play twice, and they aren't a good team. Hell, Texas A&M ran all over them. If the Huskers show up Saturday, we expect a blowout of K-State proportions. Then, Mizzou comes to Lincoln. The pundits are raving about Blaine Gabbert's performance in College Station Saturday. But we all know he sucks. Pressure him, and watch him melt under the pressure. It's what he does...he's the perfect fit in Columbia.

Under Pelini, Nebraska has always gotten better as the season went on. We expect the same in 2010. Will fate give NU one more chance at Texas in Dallas in December? Maybe. If so, will they have the balls to take advantage? Who knows.

PYB's viewing quarters for the "Red Out Around the World", perhaps one of the dumbest and most botched marketing campaigns on record...

Game Day Thread...

PYB is stuck in the lonely outpost of Sedona, Ariz. (one of the most overrated tourist traps in the nation, by the way) for a wedding on this fine game day. Luckily, viewing of the Texas vs. Nebraska game should not be affected. Rumor has it that there is a buzz in town for the first time in some time and that a MAJOR surprise is in the works. In the meantime, we'll have to settle for being awestruck at another awesome Husker Nerd tribute to Bo Pinelli, the Cobfather. Thanks to the Tall Dick for this submission!

As far as the game itself, paranoia is running rampant amongst Nebraska fans, who are making the Longhorns defense out to be the 1985 Bears the last few days. Tons of speed, best NU has played, NU hasn't played anyone yet. ZZZzzzzzzz..... The best quote PYB has heard when debating whether to hammer NU at -9.5: Just because their jerseys say Texas doesn't mean they're good. We shall see. Desmond Howard did state on ESPN's College Gameday that he expects Taylor Martinez to hit the "freshman wall", whatever the fuck that is. One can bet the Cornhuskers on this prediction alone and expect success. It's amazing that a Heisman trophy winner could be so clueless about football.

In the meantime and completely off the subject, if any of you boys are looking for a new fitness tool to help your wife tone up, we suggest this fine product....

Husker Nerds Unite....

and let the gayness begin. Is it almost safe to say that it's less embarrassing to be a Nebraska football fan when the Cornhuskers suck? PYB presents these three pieces of evidence to support the theory, as the overhype grows to epic proportions and the weekend game against Texas nears.

1. Gay T-Magic Song

2. Gay T-Magic Shirt. (Gayer is the nickname. And some fag at the bar was wearing this last week.)

3. The Bo Pelini gladiator photo. Not to mention this movie sucked, though every nerd thinks it was one of the best ever and was apparently impressed by Russell Crowe chasing computerized tigers while Joaquin Phoenix/Zach Johnson recited Shakespearean lines for two hours.

As far as game analysis, PYB is not going to offer much. Nebraska is the better team. Texas has a pedestrian offense, with little explosiveness. Still, covering assignments will be key. Blowing a couple and going down 14-0 is a recipe for disaster. Just ask Niles Paul.

Their defense will likely be the best NU has played so far, so will provide more resistance than any other opponent has. So please, Husker dorks, don't freak out when your heroes don't have five touchdowns of 50 yards or more in the first quarter.

The Longhorns won't quake in their boots and roll over dead when the tunnel walk starts. Alan Parsons' Sirius is like 40 years old. It is not intimidating. As Crybaby Bo said in his press conference this week, the game will be won on the field, so to speak. Texas, albeit perennially soft, is not a good team this year. However, keep in mind that the roster is laden with supposed five-star recruits. They have the talent to play at a higher level, despite not having the heart, guts or will to do it consistently or often.

Nebraska will have to play its best game, and if it does, will have the opportunity to make this a laugher. Pelini will have the defense ready and can dial up pressure on Garrett Gilbert when needed. So far this season, he's supposedly only had to blitz 16 percent of the time. As long as Shawn Twatson and Barney Cotton don't get in the way, and NU remembers it has two great running backs, the Cornhuskers should find a way to win. But let's remember, NU is 1-7 against the Longhorns since 1996 and have invented ways to blow games in six of those contests. An effective passing game will be key, as will ball security. Nebraska's blowout wins have made us forget that fumbles have been a big problem. Putting it on the carpet against Texas won't work.

Which will it be Saturday? Washington or South Dakota State? At the top of its game, NU can beat any team in the nation. These are the kinds of games that separate the Tommie Fraziers from the Eric Crouches. Men or mice. We'll know soon.

Time Out

PYB takes time out to offer thoughts to a friend, who lost his new bride to a drunk driver this past weekend.

A Faster Joe Dailey...

--JS has some good insight here. Does NU stand a chance against Texas with a 'faster Joe Dailey' at QB? Taylor Martinez has a long way to go to be Eric Crouch. A long way backward. The only reason to aspire to be Crouch is if you want to put your name in the hat as the most overrated, selfish player in Nebraska history who couldn't win big games.

--Brooks Conrad wins the Jake Opitz award for Worst Time for Whiffing on a Routine Ground Ball. Worse than the error here, is the fact that he forced his team to call Kyle Farnsworth in from the bullpen. Ike Cox looks to be going out of another playoff series with a whimper...

--Dallas' Cowgirls go to 1-3, while Kevin Kolb leads Philly's Birds to a share of first place. Questions: How the fuck do Wade Phillips and Alexis Smith still have their respective jobs? Tony Romo didn't help Phillips' cause, who again lacked the ability to make game-winning plays despite throwing for more than 400 yards. You can also add Jason Witten to the dumbass list, for his hand in a 15-yard unsportsmanlike penalty that sparked Tennessee's game-winning score.

--The Max Hall era has begun in AZ. Sure, his numbers weren't great, but he showed a knack to get the ball to Larry Fitzgerald in big situations (despite the Cardinals' #2 and #3 WRs being out) and obviously had the respect of his teammates after taking a couple nasty hits and staying in the game.

--And Philip Rivers adds another signature game to his anthology. More than 400 yards passing but enough bad plays to lose the game to the Oakland Raiders. Is it January already?

--Nebraska -8 over Texas Saturday. Bettors, load up. Stay tuned.

Crank Shot!

More from the Gunslinger, Brett Favre, and his attempt to nail a NY Jets employee while his wife continued to recover from breast cancer. Great guy. But nobody can steal his title of the NFL's All-Time Interception Leader.

Link here for your daily Odenism.... Huge. Quickly.

A better story here, worth the 3 minutes...

Same Old K State...

To quote former Nebraska linebacker Ed Stewart, "That's why Nebraska will always be Nebraska, and Kansas State will always be Kansas State."

The Mildcats put a scare into NU's fans for about 25 minutes Thursday night, as they ran the ball effectively down the field for a couple drives. Unfortunately for them, Bill Snyder had a Frank Solich moment and took the ball out of Daniel Thomas' hands on third and fourth downs from the two-yard line, didn't score, and blew the game. Where's Ron Prince when you need him? The folks in purple at Bill Snyder Family Stadium...side note...

(could K State come up with a worse name for the stadium? Is this a nursing home or football stadium? Well, a high school football stadium that holds as many as a large school in Texas. Could it have a worse entry sign to the university than the one ESPN showed? Could it have worse scenery than the beautiful vista of McDonald's, Best Buy and Outback? How about the Cenex gas station ESPN panned the next timeout...that ranks right up there with the Golden Gate Bridge and the Statue of Liberty...now we continue)...

would have had to have been livid with Snyder's play calling, as their shot at one last win over Nebraska dissolved in a matter of seconds. Too bad they're not football-savvy enough to know the difference and are too busy telling everyone that KSU is the Yale of the Midwest and that Aggieville rivals South Beach for night life. Fuck off. You don't hate Nebraska, you're jealous. Jealous your only good team plays basketball and will suck again in two years when your crook coach leaves and you go on probation. And they tanked against Butler. Heck, you even blew your last chance to sucker NU into a non-conference game in the future. South Dakota State provides a better challenge.

Upon further review, Kansas State fans should be thanking the state of Nebraska today, because the Cornhusker state provided the player that provided their only points outside of garbage time--kicker Josh Cherry from McCook. And keep in mind, the only reason you have him is because he'd be third on Nebraska's depth chart. Ouch.

Anyway, after the Mildcats' mild success running the ball, Bo Pelini did what he always does and adjusted. Just like in Seattle against Washington. The anti-Cosgrove. KSU could run no longer. Nebraska gashed the Kittens' defense for two quick touchdowns, and made it to the second half with a 17-3 lead.

Then the real fun began, as NU made those who didn't bet them at -10.5 regret it. Taylor Martinez went 80 yards on the third play of the second half, and the rout was on. The runs KSU's made for five yards in the first quarter were now zero, and they had a shitty quarterback. Hell, he even admitted he was afraid to throw downfield on NU's cornerbacks.

Martinez and company destroyed the Mildcats and racked up 587 yards. The devils at ESPN touted him for National Freshman of the Year, which by the way, is not a fucking award. It's meaningless. It's contrived. Scrap it. Martinez even put the icing on the cherry, so to speak, albeit unintentionally. In Bo Pelini's final 'Fuck You' to Bill Snyder (in retribution for his classless running up the score on poor Lil' Frank Solich in 2002/2003) Martinez went deep to Kyler Reed and underthrew him by 10 yards. Reed had time to come back to the ball, stop completely, catch the ball and start running again while outracing the KSU defenders who had never stopped running for a 79-yard touchdown reception. Niles Paul even got the ball he wanted, catching a pass for 17 yards. Now that's insult to injury. And Shawn Watson even slummed it and found a reason to give Roy Helu eight fucking carries...and Roy got his normal 100 yards on those eight.

So, K-State, where does this leave your storied program? With that one Big 12 North title? With a tenuous position in the wobbly Big 12? Still too poor to pay for a full mascot costume? On your way to the WAC once Texas ditches you and the rest of your supposed brethren? Once Boise State leaves, you could be a top-three team in that conference. And your bowl games will be done by December 20, with plenty of time to watch Nebraska play in its games in January. Don't forget your Power Towel!

Cheap Shot? Or football?

PYB finally found video of TJ Ward's "cheap shot" on Jordan Shipley. Where's the cheap shot? Ball is in hands, shoulder dropped, good night. Welcome to the further pussified, corporate NFL.

Interesting story about the Gunslinger...aka the NFL's All-Time Interception Leader.

Notes...

--Pondering: Why would NE trade Randy Moss, unless he's just become too big a pain in the ass? Their defense is suspect and only survived last night against Miami due to the Chad Henne/special teams meltdown. This would leave them devoid of any next-level playmakers on offense.

--This is why the US team needs to keep its slut wives in check during the Ryder Cup. Keep them where they belong, on the sidelines--not designing gear when they know zilch about golf and not mixing in with post-match greenside celebrations. You don't see the Eurotrash wives pulling this shit. Trophy wives---stand back, keep a low profile, cash those checks, shut up and put out.

--Thanks to Juice for this picture, proving that there are people pathetic enough to dry clean an NFL jersey.....who was not only a has been but a never was....

--Dang honkeys...

--Some beautiful stories here...

--Hey Niles, the coaches surely know that "Paul Wants the Ball." They also must know you suck and can't be trusted not to fumble the game away. Just like last year against Texas Tech and Iowa State. Just like this year with the horrid fumble and dropped pass against Idaho. Never has PYB seen a shittier player act like he's Jerry Rice. The only thing he has done consistently during his career is fumble and rack up alcohol-related offenses. Please just realize that you are third receiver at best, shut up, and finish your shitty career at NU without bothering us anymore.

--And lastly, if you want to get dumber, quickly, read the first few entries here...

Oxford Pictorial, Continued

More pictures from Mississippi, complete with images of a Colonel wannabe, a Deuce McCallister honoring at halftime, players mixing with locals and likely benefitting from $100 handshakes at the Grove's postgame tailgates, a tubby cheerleader, and some more miscellany. Will get some more risque material up soon!

PYB in Oxford

Well PYB made its homage to Oxford, Miss. for the Mississippi/Kentucky game this weekend, and offer Part One of its photo essay. More preferred material will come later.

Fuck Kansas State

Well the purple pussies are at it again, clamoring like a bunch of fans who actually have a decent program. Never before, and likely never again, will the nation have a group as delusional as this. KSU was a blip on the radar screen for five years, and pissed away every chance it had to get its 15 minutes of national relevance. Michael Bishop melted down, Chad May sucked, Ell Roberson raped a girl the night before the bowl game. The list goes on. Now they're mad at Nebraska for leaving them.

Classless coach? Bill Snyder is the fag that runs the score up on the other team and would never schedule a legitimate non-conference opponent. Obnoxious fans? That doesn't even merit a response. Your program sucks. Your 40,000-person stadium sucks. You mascot sucks (or at least the mascot head, since your school is too broke to pay for a whole outfit). Your colors suck. And most importantly your team sucks. Aggieville sucks. Everything about KSU and Manhattan screams JV. If you don't believe it, just watch this tragedy.

So take your bottle blasting Thursday in stride, and take solace in the fact that if you can't be Nebraska's bitch in football anymore, Kansas will keep you in submission on the hardwood.

Monday Blues

Well the nerds are out in force in Wales, as Matt Kuchar got blasted 5 and 4 by Ian Poulter at Celtic Manor, and Stewart Cink tanked a six-foot putt to go 1-up after 17 holes in his match. Cink promptly yanked his drive on 18 into the long rough, in his best efforts to give his potential point to Rory McIlroy. And America's favorite vulture, Jim Furyk, just blew a chance on 17 to pull even with Luke Donald. The fact that Furyk is this close is amazing, since Johnny Miller has recently passed his old self-anointed title of "best iron player on tour" to Donald.

Cink, of course, missed another shot at a match-winning birdie and split his all-important point with McIlroy. For good measure, Furyk dumped his third shot on 18 into the sand while needing a birdie putt to halve the match with Donald. Ryder Cup over.

PYB has returned safely from beautiful Mississippi, so stay tuned for updates from the Ole Miss vs. Kentucky game weekend. The Rebels held on for a 42-35 win in a classic, turnover-filled SEC matchup.

In the meantime, crazy Nate Robinson gives us some more twitter fun as he hops over crumbling giant Shaq O'Neal.

And due to the immense popularity to the Hater's Top 25, here you go...

This is terrible and embarrassing....