Eastern Washington

Goes red. Something to wake you up this morning. Redder than Frank Solich's eyes after a couple margaritas.

Stay tuned to PYB this week for:

--NU position by position preview
--College football season over/under win predictions
--VT vs. Boise State preview
--Possible New Orleans Saints preview

--So much for a repeat Heisman winner. Fuck you ESPN.

--People don't hate Boise State, they just realize they've got one big win, ever. The only time they played a tough road game, they got bottle blasted by Georgia in Athens.

--And if you've got 20 minutes to waste, feel free to watch Bo Pelini's Tuesday press conference. Nothing worth hearing here, unless you're into watch the media uncomfortably kiss his ass and overlaugh at his jokes.

Game Week, Part I

Are you ready for some football? Prepare to get a glimpse of the Husker offense, as they restore the glory against another Sun Belt opponent. If 2010 is anything like 2009, the offense may be in its shell by October 1. But let's be positive...for at least a week.....Niles Paul is just BOUND to break out as a real threat after three years 'learning the ropes.'

If you're watching from AZ, even Sandstone Cafe in Chandler has gotten in the act. The TV situation is shaky at best, but the food can't be worse than at other spots around the Valley. As far as the game-day environment, the proof will be in the pudding on Saturday. Supposedly, long-time employees of Papillon's (one of the old-school Husker bars), will be there to make it live. We shall see, and are doubtful until proven otherwise. But hey, drinking $2 beers like they advertise on the sign cannot be worse than watching Shawn Watson try to patch together an offensive game plan.

--Bad times in Columbia. First a couple DUIs now today official sexual assault charges on Derrick WashingtonIf. Should have heeded Luther Campbell's warning. If you're going to harbor felons, you'd better be national championship contenders. Mizzou is still working on a conference title.

Husker Gossip....

For what it's worth......take it with a grain of salt but just in case any of it is true you heard it here first courtesy of Joe Weider......and we landed on the moon!! And we added some commentary just for the fuck of it....

The injury news mentioned before did come out, partially. It is starting guard Keith Williams. He has a tear or partial tear of the labrum in one of his hips. He is going to try and play through it. The hope is that he will be able to make it through the season and have surgery afterwards. I cannot believe I have so much information on these young strapping men. I would love it if I could access into the showers and see whats "really" going down in Lincoln. (Keith Williams...you mean the guy who started last year for NU's shitty O-line?)

Cody Green did attend classes on Monday and throughout the week. I was told he will have some discussions with the coaches probably by the end of the weekend. His options will be a position change (possibly same position as Mike McNeill), redshirt or transfer. His family is pushing him to transfer but he is happy in Lincoln and the coaches really want him to stay....Please dont send this email around cause I am a pretty big deal in Lincoln and have some major pull with the boosters. You might say I am your inside man in Lincoln lol. (Same position as McNeill...WR? TE? Decoy?)

Lee and Martinez have been splitting reps with the #1 offense all week. Green has practiced with the 2nd team but has seen a few plays with the 1st unit. It is expected that both will see significant playing time in week one. (Martinez throws like a girl/Scott Frost)

Baker Steinkuhler is fighting for the spot next to Crick with Thaddeus Randle and Terrance Moore, although Randle has missed a practice or two this week due to minor injuries. This is a very good thing. Loaded along the defensive line! (Loaded? One proven player)

Also on the D-line, true freshman Chase Rome has already worked his way into the 2-deep and is practicing exclusively with the 2nd unit. Another true freshman that has also been very impressive in the coaches views, CB Ciante Evans.

Juco LB Lavonte David has been one of the most impressive players. The coaches are pressing him hard to learn the playbook as his talent is amazing and they want him on the field. (Rickey Thenarse II?)

Most of the above info is on the open forums at BHF. I update it as soon as I can after receiving it. The only stuff not on the open forums is the Cody Green stuff just because of the sensitivity of the situation. That stuff is ending up on a private forum on the site. If you are registered, email me your usernname and I will give you access to that forum.

And a good laugh to finish the week...

Jake Look Smart, Jake Love Football

--The Cotton family continues to add solid values and contributions to the Cornhusker football program. Barney started it all with his two stints of horrible coaching at NU. Then Ben chipped in with his myriad of alcohol-related offenses. And now Jake does his best LP impression by bitch-slapping his bitch. Impressive.

PYB says excusing these kinds of offenses should be reserved for four-stars or above, not charity scholarship stiffs. And how the hell are all these stories about the sons' missteps swept under the rug, after just one tiny police blotter article?

--Thank god the Omaha World Herald gave us some Peso coverage today. We thought we hadn't heard enough about it. However, we do propose a name change to the "Our White Homegrown LBs Sucked" defense. Also, in the same OWH article, they talked about how awesome NU's walk-on program is.....never get enough of that one.....twice a week for 30 years running....just great.

--And final message to the OWH---when the Lincoln Journal Star is kicking your ass on daily NU football coverage, it's time to step your game up! Enunwa to play as a freshman (remember Antonio Bell & Menelik Holt? Neither do we.), Anthony West still trying to pick up safety (remember that he sucks and won't be good anywhere), and then more walk-on coverage!!

--Maybe we could get some stats that would really spice things up: Husker who has banged the most chicks the last year? Biggest crank in the locker room? Biggest drunk? Most likely to be gay? Most hated? Give us some shit we really want to know or haven't heard 2000 times....

--The next Nolan Ryan or the next Mark Prior....

Carmelo is a Fag

--With this dandy, Omaha cements itself as one of the lamest towns in the nation...Pretty arrogant, and desperate, for a town whose only claim to fame is the CWS.

--Wait, it gets worse. They just got a soccer team. It will fold within three years.

--But at least Omahole will be able to Get its Goose On.....officially....What is the over/under on when Clarett will get his first DUI?

--So now the NU coaches have Roy Helu convinced that he's soft. This is just a prelude for them to overplay Rex Burkhead as they give in to the cheers from all the racist fans in Lincoln.

--Since when is there electricity in vultures' nests?

--Thanks to 3:10 to Beatrice for this clip. PYB had never heard any of this info and never knew it was pronounced "Haig" and "Hen-airy". Jackoff. And what a loser!

--And thanks again for this one, reminiscent of Emmitt Smith's fumblings on ESPN. Brutal, um, er, um.....read the schedule and roster....Buzz off!

--Punk bitch move....just like his Swing and Run at MSG....

--Is there anything shittier than a rap concert? Great song, but fucking horrible...Rock the Bells...

--Try to beat PYB's Ryder Cup captain picks.....impossible...

Hater's Top 25...

All in all, a pretty mediocre and unoriginal effort courtesy of Deadspin. But there are a few gems at Nos. 5, 10, 13!, 15, 18, 19 and 22. Enjoy and stay tuned for PYB's CFB season win total predictions this week!

It's that time of year again. College football is less than two weeks away, and that means we're due for a whole new round of PURE COUNTRY HATIN'.

I love watching college football. If it had a playoff, it would be the perfect sport. It has everything you need: asshole coaches, shady boosters, drunken girls with big cans, and HATE. Tons and tons and tons of unbridled hate. Schools hating schools. States hating states. Towns hating towns. They don't even know why they hate each other so much, but they do! And that's what makes it such good hate. If you knew why you hated something, that means you'd have more trouble justifying it to yourself. And I don't like the idea of that at all. I like that hate to go unquestioned, free roam and burn as it pleases.

Best of all, many college football fans are college age men between the ages of 18 and 22. And lemme tell you something, there are no better haters out there than men that age. You talk about a worthless and vile segment of humanity. Guys that age are fucking DICKS. They get drunk. They yell. They start fights. They bite women. They're spectacularly awful human beings. And every Saturday, they huddle up Delta Fuckface Douchilon at 7AM to drink Popov and paddle each other on the ass, specifically so that they can be as drunk and obnoxious as humanly possible once game time hits. They say some of the meanest, dumbest, most horrible shit you can imagine. And that's what makes college football so pantshittingly kickass.

So, with that in mind, let's run down the Top 25 and say hateful, awful things about every team and state involved. Keep in mind, I know next to NOTHING about most of these teams. But that's precisely the point. Ignorance is hate's most precious asset. It's your chance to work up a good hate lather before the season gets into full swing. As always, I use the AP poll, because the coaches poll is retarded. Let's go.

1. Alabama: Oh hey, look who's numero uno. It's Orange Satan and his little fiefdom of tardbilly mouthbreathers. I liked the Tide much better back in the old days, when Mike DuBose was bending receptionists over his desk. I don't need the state of Alabama to have any pride whatsoever. They should never be allowed to feel good about themselves. What the fuck do you half-human mongoloid overall-wearing chimps have to be proud of? Congrats, your team finally won another title last year. That means you are now one year closer to Nick Saban bolting for Michigan and leaving you to pick up the pieces of your pathetic, awful, and empty lives, the kind of pointless existence that makes membership in the Aryan Nation all but an inevitability. And you know Bear Bryant? He's still fucking DEAD. Super dead. Forever. Alabama is America's ass hair.

2. Ohio State: Oh, sweet fucking Jesus, you people again? Haven't you people pissed away enough titles? Shouldn't you be banished to NAIA so that we don't have to see you lose the national title by 47 points to an SEC team? It's because of YOU that people from the South are actually starting to feel good about themselves again. That is crap.

I've been to Columbus. It's the kind of place no one would ever live voluntarily. You either live there because you can't afford to live anywhere else, or because the judge put a travel restriction on your DUI probation. Tear the roof off a fucking Houlihan's, expand the size of it to 50 square miles, and that's Columbus. Just one big generic pile of shit. They should have just named it "City."

3. Boise State: America's Sweethearts, my ass. I'll be damned if I'm cheering from some dipshit team from the middle of Idaho. Let me ask you something: If everyone in Idaho died tomorrow, would you care? I mean, just DIED. A virus sweeps across the state and wipes out every last man, woman, and baby. Every Idahoan, dead in a puddle of their own shit and liquefied organs. Would you really give a crap? I say no. Oh, I'd turn on the news and say, "Oh, shit! All the Idaho people are dead. That sucks." Then I'd turn off the TV and eat a box of Teddy Grahams. I'd pretend to care in my mind, so that I wouldn't feel like the really shitty person that I am. But deep down? I wouldn't care. I wouldn't even care if I had relatives living there. If they were living in Idaho, they were probably relatives of mine that were all fucking weird and creepy and lived in a compound. Or they were insufferable outdoorsy assholes. Or they were rich fuckers who skied. Either way, Idaho is pointless.

4. Florida: I actually bear no ill will to you, Florida. I hope you have a fine season, until October comes around and it's the fourth quarter of a tight game and Urban Meyer's head fucking BLOWS UP all over the sideline. Just a massive explosion that shatters his whole head, sending out little globs of brain and blood all over the Dazzlers. Then the replay gets on the web and they have to interview Tebow at Denver Bronco headquarters and he's all crying and shit because Urban was like a Dad to him and he's saying it's okay because he's home with Jesus now and GAHHH HE SHOULD HAVE JUST QUIT! BUT NOW HE'S DEAD! WHAT WILL HIS KIDS DO NOW? GAHHHHHH!

So I'm looking forward to that. Also, you are pussies.

5. Texas: Oh, you Austinites. So goddamn pleased with yourselves. Ooh, loogit us! We have indie movies and indie music and indie food carts and indie pencils! You know what? I don't like indie things. I don't like Animal Collective. I saw Half Nelson, and it was a piece of shit. I like movies and songs that look and sound like they cost more than four dollars to make. And if they come hipster-free, then all the better. You people are the fucking Williamsburg of Texas, and that isn't a compliment. Though I do like that Sam Acho. It's like his last name is a suffix for all good Latino things: macho, nacho, muchacho, Comacho, borracho… Great name. But you are still ASS.

6. TCU: Every year, TCU plays archrival SMU in a game known as the Battle for the Iron Skillet. Oooh! Hold me back! YOU TALK ABOUT A RIVALRY! I can't wait to see which uptight Christian Texas asshole school this year gets to lay claim to a T-Fal nonstick pan. WHO WILL FRY THE FIRST EGG OF SWEET VICTORY? Count me in!

7. Oklahoma, 8. Nebraska: I don't even know why we bother to differentiate states like Oklahoma from Kansas or Nebraska. Shouldn't these all just be lumped into one giant, shitty state? We don't even have to call it a state. We can just call the US Central Territories. It could appear on maps as a giant black block. Just ignore this section, world. Mind our appearance while we renovate so that it doesn't look like the arid, man-zombie landscape it currently is. We'll replace it with a Michael Kors outlet store by 2015.

9. Iowa: Oh, look! It's the Big Ten's rapiest team! No wonder Christian Peter's alma mater wanted to join this conference so very badly. Iowa is the number one producer of corn among all American states. Many of its farmers are heavily subsidized to grow corn, turn that corn into syrup, and then rape every other foodstuff in the grocery store with that syrup so that you and your kids get fatter and fatter and fatter until you look just like everyone who lives in Iowa. Want to know why you can't resist that Mr. Pibb, tubby? FUCK FARMER BOB IS YOUR MAN. I also blame Iowa for Field of Dreams, and all the losers who tell me I don't have a heart if I don't like Field of Dreams. Well, fuck THAT. That movie was gay.

10. Virginia Tech: I'm really tired of this team being a "dark horse" national title contender. Pencil them in for 10 boring-as-fuck wins and a forgettable bowl victory and let's never speak of them again. Know why every analyst creams his jeans watching your special teams? Because watching your offense is like trying to watch two fat people buttfuck without lubricant.

And now, we fly through the rest.

11. Oregon: I had a bunch of nice things to say about this team, but Jeremiah Masoli stole my laptop. But I look forward to another year of this team wearing unis that give Japanese children Parkinson's disease. Also, the people of Oregon are Beaver-toothed, bike-riding fuckfaces.

12. Wisconsin: Fatties. THIS GUIDE IS NOT FOR PRINTING AND THEN SLATHERING WITH WISPRIDE AND THEN EATING.

13. Miami (FL): Just a reminder of the delightful folks who cheer on the Hurricanes, i.e., Jewish people from Long Island who believe rooting for the Hurricanes somehow makes them black gangsters. From reader Torch Ramrod:

The 2010 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25


Yep, he's a Cane through and through. Thirty bucks says that guy has never seen the inside of the Orange Bowl.

14. USC: Oh, what an enjoyable downfall this will be. It's like the Larry Smith Era is about to happen all over again! And what a joy that was. I can't think of a more vacant, inane, self-involved, VD-ridden, dipshit Land Rover-driving student body for it all to happen to. I fucking hate the disaffected, stuck-up attitude of these pricks. So unimpressed with everything but themselves. The tombstone of every USC student should read: "Here lies Tyler Taylor. MEH."

15. Pittsburgh: Doesn't this town have the Steelers? No one fucking cares about the college team. No wonder Wannstedt is still your head coach. A fucking moose in a trenchcoat could walk the sidelines for your team and no one would notice.

16. Georgia Tech: Don't care. Jesus, remember when the ACC added Miami and Virginia Tech and it would supposed to be this big superconference? That all went to shit, didn't it? It's like someone decided to expand the NFC West to 12 teams.

17. Arkansas: Good Lord, Bobby Petrino is the sleaziest bag of shit to ever walk the Earth. He's like the white Isiah Thomas.

18. North Carolina: Why don't you and Duke go in the closet and make ugly children together already?

19. Penn State: Listen, I don't wanna say mean things about Joe Paterno. He's a national treasure and a sweet old man. But he's gonna poop himself on the sidelines this year. He is. Someone will ask him over the headset if he's happy with the defensive formation and he's not gonna hear them because he'll be too busy unloading into the cheesecloth he wrapped around his Jockeys. Then he'll have to stay still the entire half so that no one will know, with poop running down his gimpy old leg the whole time. Then he's gonna go into the locker room and be like, URRGH I SHIT MYSELF AGAIN, BOYS! Then they'll have to wipe him off and wheel him back out. I don't want that to happen. It's not right. Let the man go out with dignity. Cut his oxygen tank tube.

20. Florida State: Well, well, well. Look who's in charge now. They finally pushed out Bobby Bowden and replaced him with… Jimbo Fisher. Really? You entrusted a storied program to a dude named Jimbo? Did he promise you a free fried possum in exchange for the job? Enjoy the cellar of a forgotten conference, East Alabama.

21. LSU: We should revoke their 2007 title. I know they beat Ohio State, but that shouldn't even count. That is the shittiest national title team ever. Oh, and YOU ARE RAYCESSSSS.

The 2010 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25

22. Auburn: No one cares. Bama will plow you like Charlie Sheen's third escort of the evening.

23. Georgia: I drove through Georgia this spring, and that whole state looks like a backyard some asshole left unattended.

24. Oregon State: Ah, Eastern Oregon. Harboring America's fugitive serial killers since 1909! THE BROWN RIVER KILLER IS AMONG YOU.

25. West Virginia: WHO'S UP FOR SOME COUCH BURNIN' AND UNCLE-BONIN'?

And there's your 2010 Hater's Guide to the Top 25. Need to vent on a ranked or unranked team of your choice (NOTREDAMENOTREDAMENOTREDAME), by all means do so in the comments. And get ready for another season of glorious rancor.

NU Notes...

-Doc got himself a transfer--Bo Spencer from LSU. 14.5 ppg looks nice, but 33.3 field goal percentage? Something doesn't add up...especially not his GPA.

-Thaddeus Randle is listed as a potential breakout player for NU football this season. Who knew Cookie Belcher played football?

-Folks, they're not booing.....

Get Your Goose On...

--And will make up for lost time gradually as we catch up from our latest out-of-state venture. In the meantime, thanks to Donger for this video or Nenad Krstic doing his best Carmelo Anthony impression, then adding the chair for good measure...

-Please, Ricketts family, don't hire Ryne Sandberg as manager. PYB just has a very bad gut feeling that he would be a disaster as manager. Their GM is already a nightmare.

-Solid effort for this Beaver. Three-point stance?

-Maurice Clarett wants to come to Omaha to get his Goose on.....referencing the story where he filled his water bottle with Grey Goose during his brief tenure the Denver Broncos.

-Apparently MJ is taking GM lessons from Isiah Thomas. Wasn't one flop enough for Kwame Brown?

-And we're not here to say we told you so, but we told you so. The "HUGE" signing of Kavario Middleton didn't take place. Couldn't make grades. Apparently he is as bad at taking classroom tests as he is drug tests. Oh well, the Huskers already have one All-American caliber TE that they don't use.

-Let the banging begin. Every trench in Florida could be taking a pounding soon!

What a crock of shit this slideshow is. File this one under the 'any fool with a dick can start a blog category. The rater has the two opponents that NU is unlikely to beat as Iowa and Ohio State? First of all, Iowa is going to score on NU how?

And then our fearless (clueless) rater says that NU's DBs would have to be ready to take on the Buckeyes?? Because Terrelle Pryor can't hit the ocean from 10 yards? Anyone doing his research would know that DB is probably NU's strongest and deepest position. NU would likely be favored in a neutral-site game against either team. And as the last insult, the game against Penn State is rated a "Toss Up." Please.

Miscellany...

The above pic is from Indian Wells in the Palm Springs area...good course, great conditions for the summer. And probably a lot of fun if you don't have a 40-yard snap hook going. PYB just had to post these two great questions from the road.

--What provocative football minds. PW is obviously at least partially retarded...

From: P.W., Lincoln
Published Thursday, Aug. 19

You know, I always felt Shawn Watson was one of the top coordinators in the business. I still feel that way and last year’s issues were largely due to quarterback problems and injuries. Watson is good. Very good or he wouldn’t have remained here after the Callahan regime got axed. That being said ... I think if he has a big year this year he leaves. Goes to Illinois. What say you? (Ron Zook would obviously be ousted, of course).

Like I said, coordinators — and all coaches — are only as good as their talent, and this is especially true in college sports, where X’s and O’s don’t win games. If Nebraska has an offense like the one in the Holiday Bowl, the Huskers are going to win a lot of games and Watson’s star might shine again. Illinois? Who knows where?

* * *

From: Scott, Lincoln
Published Wednesday, Aug. 18

Why not use all top 3 Husker QBs at the same time, since they are reportedly so close? Instead of the Wildcat, call it the Wilddog — Zac Lee in the shotgun, with Green and Martinez each side of him, and Helu or Burkhead spread wide to either side. Hike to any of them — might be several options from there.

I don't think you'll see three QB's in there at once, but I could see two. I think that will happen.

--PYB hardly associates Judd Davies and Dane Todd with 'classic' status. Shitty, yes. Legend, hell no. Davis might actually be the worst NU fullback in 15 years. Tom Rathman didn't make this list?

--Anyone want to put the odds on whether Kavario Middleton ever plays a game at NU? Sounds like an excuse maker to us. And since when did Nebraska use a tight end in its offense?

--PYB is not sure why the Sean Fisher injury is a big deal. Obviously, we don't wish injury upon anyone, but from a football standpoint this is meaningless. Does nobody remember how awful Fisher was last season? Missed assignments, chasing plays helplessly from five yards behind, etc. If you'll remember, NU went to a one-linebacker package once NU started playing real teams (translation--not from the Sun Belt Conference) because Fisher and Will Compton were so horrible. Now if they can just get one of their three backups to remember the plays....

--Doc's boys are 3-0 in the Bahamas. NU beat its most recent foe by 22 points. Memphis only beat them by 13. Can you say Final Four???? Or can you say that Memphis' players were probably out boozing and blazing the weed until 4am the night prior to their contest.

--Here is a good article in USA Today trying to explain why the Cubs suck. Some interesting points, but most of it is bullshit. I'd say having a GM (former Creighton guy, no coincedence) who thinks that Bob Howry is a great pickup despite his 10.00 ERA (seriously) is a larger problem. Howry had been cut by the only team worse than the Cubs--the Arizona Diamondbacks. He proceeded to blow six or seven games before Hendry decided to cut him and bring up some minor leaguers to get shelled. Oh well, at least we've been able to win some money betting against the Cubs.

Will the PGA Please Stand Up?

--PYB could go on for days about the finish at yesterday's PGA Championship. But the bottom line is if it's supposedly a bunker the PGA needs to control the crowd and keep them out of the hazard itself. And instead of bragging about the number of bunkers at Whistling Straits, which increased in its exaggerated total over the weekend from more than 900 to more than 1200 as television personnel bragged on about them, they should spend more time maintaining them. If they can't control the mob of fans or the bunkers, hold the fucking tournament elsewhere.

It's all well and good to say Dustin Johnson should have known the rules, but he should have been given the space and calm to assess the situation and its context. Being surrounded on all sides within three feet, with the gallery flowing into the "bunker" where he hit from, does not count as such. What a fucking joke. An even bigger joke is the lack of responsibility the PGA has taken for its 'lack of institutional control.' The organization continues to hide behind its veil of 'the rules are the rules' as faux rules stalwarts start to blame it all on Johnson.

--The short answer here is absolutely yes, better than the 2003 bunch with the overhyped Bullocks brothers (couldn't tackle, questionable ball hawking skills). But an absolute HELL NO to the 1995, 1997 and 1999 groups. There are five players in those units that played 10+ years in the NFL. This group had a nice half season in 2009, but hasn't accomplished a thing yet.

Sunday at Whistling Straits...

--Nice cream/Dijon mustard outfit Hefty. The diarrhea-colored gator skin shoes and belt are a nice topper...

--Is Dustin Johnson as dumb as he looks and sounds?

--Tiger Woods hasn't hit many good shots the last two hours, but they're showing every one of them live.

--Nick Watney makes double bogey after catching a bad lie on his first drive. Three-shot lead gonzo after one hole. Will he right the ship or pull a Dustin Johnson and shoot a final round 82?

--Watney makes a tap in par after a shaky drive on the par-5 second hole. Johnson saves par after pulling his drive 40 yards left. Which of these "young guns" will decide to break 76 and win?

--Dustin Johnson bringing back shades of Pebble Beach as he three putts for bogey on number three. Kraut Martin Kaymer ties Watney at the top at -11, while Phil Mickelson sits only four back of the lead. It will be another week where he kicks himself over what could have been.

Tiger Tom's?

--Could they really not find a place better than Tiger Tom's? How mortifying. Was El Bee's already booked? Couldn't Johnny Rodgers rob another gas station to get more money for a nicer reception? Anyone who has been to this rathole in Omaha will say the same---unless they live in Omaha in which case they will proclaim it awesome just like all the other landmarks there: Cheesecake Factory, Costco, PF Chang's and the best zoo in the world.

--Call it a good break for the Cotton Clan....and a bad break for NU's football program and its fans. Can't wait for Barney to start spouting excuses for his line's mediocre and sporadic play. Mike Smith's broken leg surely gives him ammo for the first couple games.

--Anyone who likes winning money should be the season unders on the Arizona Cardinals if Matt Leinart is the starter. He was bad, as usual, Saturday night and showed NO glimpses of talent or potential. He doesn't have the arm to throw downfield, much less stretch the field. When he did, he damn near got Larry Fitzgerald killed. He missed several short passes in horrible fashion. And, judging by their lukewarm comments of support, his teammates are ready to give up on him.

Of course, Derek Anderson looked just as bad. He rifled rocket balls off receivers four yards away, resulting in one interception. He threw another trying to force a ball into a nonexistent window in the defense. Hell, rookie John Skelton out of Idaho was the only QB Saturday that looked as if he could make any of the throws required to be a successful starting NFL quarterback.

So AZ under 7.5---book it.

--Looks as though china doll Sam Bradford could have a rough, and short, rookie campaign.

--Finally, the "Glory's Last Shot" winds up today as the PGA Championship's final round plays out at Whistling Straits in Kohler, Wisc. Why is it that the media is so intent on anointing one of the young tour players as the next big thing? They've all show that they can't be consistent enough to be a factor all the time (ie, Anthony Kim) or that they don't have the stones to break 80 all four rounds of a major (Dustin Johnson, Rory McIlroy). One has to earn the crown, unless of course your name is Queen James of Cleveland. PYB is pulling for Nick Watney or Steve Elkington, as the rest of the contenders are about as exciting as a Shawn Watson gameplan (or is that an oxymoron?).

--Another nice outing for former Husker Brian Duensing....reminder of happier times before Mike Anderson completed running the baseball program into the ground...

Top Ten & Bo = Bitch

Top Ten signs of a dicksucker....posting something as inane as this on your blog.

PYB readers, here is some analysis that is so in-depth, that we could never dream of offering such insight.....be ready to rack your brain poring over this gem.....

Bo being a baby again. Was he trying to punish the media? The people he is really hurting are the readers, and the FUCKING fans, who pay whatever the ticket or PPV cost is to watch those shitty games against South Dakota State, Idaho, et al. and pay your fucking salary.

Sorry for the sparse post, but PYB has to roll to Lebanon, AZ this AM....

Poulter Sneak Preview

Or is this John Feldmann from Goldfinger?

And now this is a real brawl, courtesy of Bill Simmons.

And some good stuff from Steve Kerr, post Suns exodus...

Bogs Diamond to Omaha....

Bogs Diamond from The Shawshank Redemption is an Omaha Nighthawk...careful in the showers fellas...

Studio Gangsters in Cincy

PYB loves all the coverage on the Cardinals/Reds "brawl." Way to push for seven minutes without throwing a punch? If they really hated each other, there'd be some swinging......weak.

Anyone thinking Taylor Martinez can start at QB this year watch this video. National title 'contenders' don't have quarterbacks who throw like a girl. And Shawn Watson still sucks.

Nice fire hose quote Coach Twatson. Corporate America would be proud. Talking a lot but not saying a damn thing. And it's no wonder Ben Cotton appreciates the indoor pratice--he was likely hungover.

What the fuck? Cinnamon Toast Crunch/Milk? No clue.

Quick answer to Anthony West's question as to why he lost his starting job: he sucks and can't cover anyone at the CB spot. New regime...players play, stiffs ride the bench.

Hard hitting journalism here. PYB would have added one more question: "How did it feel to blow the Texas game for your team?"

Keep selling the company line Van Pelt, just don't ruin any more golf coverage. And Tiger, quit trying to crack jokes. You're a nerd and nerds aren't funny. And why is Tiger's shitty play due to his layoff? He's been back for more than four months? Phil Mickelson's layoff was nearly as long as Woods' and he's already got a major under his belt this season.

Back in the Saddle

PYB is back from vacation, just in time to read all the overhype for Nebraska's football season. The media is jerking off this team as if they're just a break or two away from a national title. Local outlets seem to forget that NU last year had a bad offensive line, terrible QB, and no WRs. It's so bad we refuse to post the grabass "WR/personality" article the OWH ran yesterday. Embarrassing. But just a few things to help get back in the swing:

-More lip service from Niles Paul. This time he means it. Too bad's he's slow and is not a very good playmaker. Otherwise, he'd have a chance to be a college superstar.

-No idea why NU would move its biggest playmaker at CB to safety. Hopefully, Bo has a plan. We'll give him some leeway, given his track record. But that kind of ability can't be taught---see Terrell Farley.

-Tiger Woods is irrelevant. It doesn't get any better than that. Oh, golf outlets keep shoving his latest trials down our throats, but the fact that CBS hasn't shown him live in a tournament in more than two months says it all. Hitting fairways at a 35% clip won't win any tournament, much less majors. Stick to what you're good at, Tiger, banging whores and being a prick.

-We'll check in with more from Husker camp when there's something meaningful to talk about. By the way, Zac Lee is starting. Shawn Watson made sure to do enough to stunt Cody Green's growth last year to make sure of that, and Taylor Martinez hasn't played a game. Myopic NU fans need to quit yammering on this topic--one nice (or average) spring game does not make a starting QB.....just ask Joe Dailey.

-Can anyone say 'two pop cans'?

-Finally, it's good to see Jason Jenkins moving on to do something besides bashing bottles over people's heads at the bar. Here he is, playing the murdered/disappeared Bison Dele/Brian Williams.

Hefty

P.S. Way to take advantage of that meltdown Phil...needed a Top 4 and somehow managed to shoot 1 worse than Eldrick...figures! Maybe if you could move your arms and body in those ridiculous sausage-casing eurotrash 3-size too small shirts you keep rocking you could muster up a repeatable swing of some kind. Doesn't anyone close to this guy have the stones or decency to say something to him? It's embarrassing. Judging by the pic above, your previous "style" of shirts felt better!

Karma

HA HA!

Nice playing Elsrick! I thought you never quit?? Better get back to poppin' Ambien and railing 12 broads per week if you're gonna catch Jack!

Do They Expect Us to Believe This?

Are we really supposed to believe the Big 10 is now a good conference? PYB thought that myth was put to bed a few years back. Put Wisconsin or Iowa up against any decent team in a meaningful game and they'd get blasted, as always....

Also, what a great picture from the Big 10 media day, with TO being the most stately figure. Jim Delany's two-inch ear hair and Joe Paterno talking about shitting his pants make Osborne the easy winner here.

Hopefully, Doc's latest assistant can gain some traction landing some big recruits. But since when are Iowa and Minnesota hot beds?

Nebraska's third-best CB just made another award list.

PYB Wondering...

If The Queen thinks his hand sign means the same as what Larry Bowa does (probably can't get the video to play, no thanks to MLB)? Good read here and here.....Don't expect any titles in South Beach---maybe at TAO Beach...