Identity Crisis

--The Omaha World Herald's Dirk Chatelain nailed it here. PYB said NU lost its identity the day Bill Callahan tried to make the offense into a run and pass outfit. NU became the 1990s Colorado---with less talent. Enough speed to crush the bad teams. However, with nothing solid to rely on against good teams, losses were certainties.

--Hopefully, Nebraska's new athletic director is playing it close to the vest when he speaks of  'no major problems to fix.' Now that construction magnate Tom Osborne has moved on, maybe Shawn Eichorst can once again focus on fielding teams that win games......and championships.

--Speaking of major problems....Nebraska began its conference basketball schedule Wednesday at Ohio State...and got ripped...as expected. PYB has just one request for Tim Miles: either get really good or stay awful so we can win lots of money on these road games. To make matters worse, the Bouncer, Andre Almeida got hurt after "jumping" for a rebound.

Two notes from this link:

1. Jenny Football is ready to prepare for 2013. Can't wait.

2. Ben Cotton still doesn't know what happened on the blocked punt from Tuesday's game. We do. Justin Blatchford broke the only rule on punt team---take the man to the inside. Instead, he opted to whiff on both the inside and outside men. We'd like to submit one request--if Coach Pinelli insists on playing overmatched in-state talent, can they at least be smart enough to excecute the simplest assignments?

Did anyone see that exciting Sugar Bowl last night, where Shawn Twatson's Louisville offense shredded that "amazing" Florida Gator defense? Neither did we. Bowl season at its best......

Give a Dawg a Bone

Old Bo Pinelli,

Went to Orlando,

To bring the Cap One trophy home,

When Taylor moved over,

Ameer turned the ball over,

And the Dawgs gave the Huskers a bone of their own!

Six lines. Succint recap of another fucking Nebraska meltdown. Another potential win over an SEC team pissed away into a multiple-score loss. We're fine.

PYB chimes in with a quick foray into all that is wrong with the NU football program. We'd settle on telling you that the Blackskirts gave up 589 yards and lost the turnover margin battle yet again, but as Barney Cotton told us yesterday....stats are for losers. We'll rifle down the list of observations until the coup de gras, when all was lost yet again:

--We predicted the first turnover would occur before the 11:30 mark. We were right, as Justin Blatchford forgot the cardinal rule of blocking on punts and kicks, stepped outside, and gave up a blocked punt that gave UGA a 2-0 lead at the 11:39 point of the first quarter.

--Charles Jackson made a great hit on the ensuing Brett Maher punt. He's from the Houston area. We are glad NU cut its recruiting in Texas to concentrate on the Rust Belt's Catholic pipeline.

--NU racked up 30 yards in penalties in the first six minutes.

--In short order, the Blackskirts blew a coverage and allowed the Georgia tight end to waltz into the endzone untouched for a 9-0 lead. By this point, NU had blown several opportunities, should have led in the game, but was behind by nine points. Another case of Cocklash.....

--Rex Burkhead followed that up with a a couple big gains....only to be promptly benched.

--NU had amassed 55 yards in penalties int he first 17 minutes.

--Burkhead was back in the game, rolling down the field...when Taylor Martinez remembered he was Taylor Martinez and threw an interception. Death. Taxes. T Vag.

--On yet another drive, Burkhead (the only NU player with big game balls) was running right through the Bulldog defense. Then he got benched, and Tim Beck called three consecutive Martinez passes. Drive over.

--By halftime, somehow, the Cornhuskers we ahead 24-23 and collecting nuggets of Fool's Gold along the way. Martinez was getting away with passes into traffic and back across the field. Disaster was imminent.

--After blowing a 31-23 lead in just seconds, NU had the ball back near midfield. On 3rd & 1, Beck decided that Burkhead was more valuable as a pitcher and lead blocker than a running back who averaged 5.5 yards per carry against the 'vaunted' Dawgs defensive line. Ameer Abdullah reverted to earlier season form, fumbled the ball away and gifted another undeserved win to a mediocre SEC team. 31-31 became 38-31, Dawgs, in no time. Fucking tremendous.

--Still a one possession game, NU had gotten Georiga (yes, Georiga) to a 3rd and 12 in its own territory before deciding to blitz both its linebackers directly into blockers, blowing a coverage and relinquishing an 87-yard touchdown that made it 45-31. Game over. Another national embarrassment. But hey, you are what you bust....

--With the result no longer in doubt, PYB quit nitpicking. We did notice, though, that T Vagic tweaked his ankle in the fourth quarter. That should give him an excuse for 12 more games of mistake-laden football.

--After talking shit to Georgia's DBs, Taylorina got rocked three times. Perhaps if you suck and are stupid, the best course of action is to keep your mouth shut. More concerning was that not one teammate came to his defense after a couple borderline cheap shots from Bulldog defenders. So much for honor, code, loyalty. Nebraska is a national punch line.

--When Josh Mitchell was beaten for a long pass on a jump ball (which marked about the 15th time an NU CB got burned in the game), Bo Pinelli threw his hands up -- apparently exasperated that the 155-pound cornerback he recruited couldn't beat the bigger/faster/strong player for the football. Amazing concept.

--Most disturbing, we think, was the slew of "you can't put this one on Taylor" comments we saw from the Martinez apologists on Twitter. Obviously, PYB has a strong disdain for this gutless loser....BUT, if fans are continually making excuses for a quarterback for why he can't win games that matter after three full years as a starter, there's a problem. Winning quarterbacks are leaders. They win. They don't give a fuck about numbers. Losers point out that they scored 31 points, despite losing by more than 30 points. Tommie Frazier had to compete for his starting job every year....but somehow T Vagic gets four years of immunity. Not sure if that says more about Pinelli's stubborness or poor recruiting, but if there's not at least a competition next August, there should be mutiny on the SS Youngstown.

So, 365 more days have elapsed. Is NU any better off than it was after blowing a chance to win against South Carolina in last year's Capital One bowl? We know the answer, and so do you.

So, 13-14 more games of the awful era that is the Taylor Martinez Era -- complete with inflated statistics for losers and exactly zero meaningful wins.

So, where does the Pinelli Era stand? The best win of his NU tenure was against Clemson in his first season.....a season where NU beat a Tiger team with loads more talent by being smart, efficient and driven. That, in stark contrast to a team that steps on its dick more times than one can count. A team that is inefficient, sloppy and stupid. A team that inevitably rolls over when times get tough. A team with zero playmakers on defense. A team that, with a 'defensive guru' as head coach, gave up 80% of it's third-down conversions today and more than 1100 yards in its last two games.

So, who wants answers? We want answers. We want the truth. We can't handle the truth.

You're god damn right we can't......

Happy Fucking New Year.....

Bowling for Squalors

With a worthless bowl season upon us, and fewer than a handful of good games ahead, PYB provides its commentary on Bowl Season 2012-13. The myriad of pools we've entered does little to make it interesting, and the fact that Nebraska will be annihilated on January 1 lessens our interest even more. Here goes:

Gildan New Mexico Bowl: Wasn't Gildan the activewear that Wal-Mart sold in the 1980s?

Idaho Potato: Somehow, this name has become unremarkable amongst

 the slate of shittier bowls.

SD County Credit Union Poinsettia: Name says it all. Who knew it was POIN-settia and not POINT-settia. Not us until five years ago.

Beef "O" Brady's St. Petersburg: This reminds PYB of someone taking a big, nasty shit.

R+L Carriers New Orleans: There's a bowl game in New Orleans? Bet there's a lot of jambalaya eaten and Pat O'Brien's hurricanes consumed by the fans in attendance....insert other awful cliches here...

MAACO Las Vegas: Perfect sponsor. When thinking of Vegas, we too think of dented cars, white trash, ugly scenery and other vile things.

Little Caesar's Pizza: Last time we ate this pizza (20 years ago), it was so fucking bad they gave you two for the price of one -- every day. The WKU vs CMU matchup this year is likely worse than that pizza.

Military Bowl: A meaningless bowl game, in a professional sports town (Washington DC), in cold weather. Sounds like a recipe for success.

Belk: How does a white-trash department store from the southern United States sponsor a bowl, considering it's lower on the retail shopping chain than Kohl's is? At least we can buy white Jockey t-shirts at Kohl's. Only Texans who think it's still 1988 can benefit from Belk.....guess we've answered our own question.

Bridgepoint Education Holiday: Sponsorship of this game has been passed around more than Alyssa Milano at an ESPYs after party....

AdvoCare V100 Independence: Anyone else driven by the Independence Bowl? PYB did this fall, right after surviving a harrowing experience at the ghetto-assed Whataburger a mile down the road.

Russell Athletic: The rich man's Gildan. We thought Russell went out of business once they quit making sweatpants with elastic at the bottom of the legs.

New Era Pinstripe: Pro town, cold weather, two awful teams rekindling old Big East rivalry. Awesome. Do New Era hats still stick up three inches too high unless you smash them under a dictionary for two weeks? Oh wait, we think the little fags these days like wearing them like that now because they have dirty, shaggy hair and are enormous pussies who don't have any idea how to wear hats -- for baseball, leisure, or otherwise...

Kraft Fight Hunger: What doesn't say blood rivalry like Navy vs. Arizona State in San Francisco?

Buffalo Wild Wings: Worse food: Hooter's or Buffalo WW?

Hyundai Sun: I don't know how they do it down in Juarez, Peedro.....

Chick-fil-A: One of the most laughable names a few years ago is now one of the most established. Chicken minis are legit....

TaxSlayer.com Gator: No clue what TaxSlayer.com is....but we are certain that this bowl would be our favorite if it was the PoonSlayer.com bowl.....

Heart of Dallas: What does this mean? Awful fucking traffic? Poorly designed roads? Dirty streets? Poorly dressed citizens with 1980s hair? Fill us in.

Outback: For the record, you assholes who say Outback is a great steakhouse because: 1. You've never been to a good one or 2. They have a $14.99 deal for a skirt steak and tasteless vegetables can 1. Kiss our ass and 2. Feel free to shell out $150 once in your life for a proper steak dinner. No offense if you can't afford $150, just don't tell us that Outback is edible, then.

Capital One: The Cap One ads of Vikings raping & pillaging on television are fitting, considering the asskicking Nebraska got last year from a mediocre South Carolina squad and the one they're going to get from a soft Georgia team. But hey, we don't "think about stuff."

Rose: College football's most meaningless phenomenon this side of the Heisman Trophy. Nicely painted field in a piece-of-shit stadium between irrelevant teams.

Discover Orange: How the mighty have fallen. Always one of the best games between highly ranked teams that capped New Year's Day....live from the Miami ghetto. Now, Northern Illinois vs. Florida State. Where do we sign up?

Allstate Sugar: Shawn Twatson on the big stage against the overrated Florida Gators.

Tostitos Fiesta: Always pulls a solid matchup. Look what happens when you mix a desireable location with a little corruption. A fucking moneymaker.

AT&T Cotton: aTm vs. OU. Look what they have to do to fill this game.....invite the locals. Apparently, outsiders aren't jumping at the chance to come play golf in 50-degree weather on dead grass....

BBVA Compass: Nothing like playing a bowl game on the same field as the Division III championship game was---a month earlier.

GoDaddy.com: Kent State and Arkansas State play five days after most of the BCS games. Huh? And GoDaddy either needs to get it's semi-nude sponsors to dyke out or quit with the fake sexy theme they throw out each year for the Super Bowl. It's the 2000s, and we see more than your "risque" ads show at an average night at a Scottsdale bar...

Discover BCS National Championship: Can you feel it? That's the excitement of a mid-week bowl game played six days after the rest of the good games between a Notre Dame team that beat BYU by three points and an Alabama team that lost a game. Fuck yeah!

Enjoy the yearly bowl installment, we will make sure to.....in fact, we are rushing out to get a bottle of CIROC right now. Because judging from the commercial we just saw, it's so powerful that it makes Puff Daddy and Jesse from Breaking Bad best of buddies....magic....and stuff.

PYB

Speed Kills

PYB starts out with a good breakdown from the OWH's Sam McKewon. It reminds us all that Barney Cotton, who went largely uncriticized this season because of NU's other glaring problems, is an idiot.

We love to see Nebraska show its current recruiting clout this week: losing a commit from the South, while adding one for Big 16 territory. Tremendous work, coaches. We're sure it'll all be fine if NU can pluck another couple Ohio recruits before signing day.

Pete Carroll ran a fake punt up 30 points in the 4th quarter Sunday. He's a crook and shows why he's making his name as the Lane Kiffin of the NFL.

All we have to say to this is: what the fuck? Kill a teammate, but enjoy the next home game from the sidelines.

That's all we've got. Apologize for the poor formatting -- blogspot was fucked today.

Pin-Sanity

PYB checking in, wishing all our readers a happy holiday season, hoping that you're enjoying the propaganda campaign trying to convince us all that Nebraska stands a chance Jan. 1 against Georgia...

--Here's the latest version, and we're sure that PYB-favorite Jon Nyatawa loved this assignment. We expect the same performance that Private Pinelli and Company blessed us with in last season's Capital One bowl: start out with some early spark, turn the ball over, panic, Taylorina shift into full-meltdown mode.....bottle blasted. Surely, the Dawgs are salivating at the thought of a panicky, fidgety, scatter-armed, pea-brained, error-prone QB coming their way on New Year's Day....

--We've seen and heard it all before...but Bo says his troops are ready to go. They'll be focused and ready to go, he says. Apparently, for the first time in five years.

--The Nebraska volleyball team logged its yearly choke job to a more athletic team. They are the Kansas Jayhawks of women's volleyball.

--No recruiting season would be complete without Pinelli venturing in to Ohio to steal a lightly regarded recruit from Big East also-rans and Big Ten cellar dwellers. He didn't disappoint us this year. Faced with the daunting prospect of replacing Porky Meredith, a defensive end so fat and ineffective that he was moved to defensive tackle mid-season, Pinelli snatched this gem from the clutches of West Virginia, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Purdue and Indiana.

After further analysis, PYB thinks he'll do just fine after gaining 35 pounds of fat in the next 18 months. That should allow him to be ready to play pattycake with offensive linemen, let the play pass him by and waddle behind the action just like the DEs before him. We're fine.

--Switching gears to the NFL: The Texans and Falcons both exposed as frauds in Week 14. It was just a matter of time.

--Bobby Petrino gets another job....huh?

Gotta run for now....we're going to go plow a co-worker, crash a car and quit on our teammates at the office in hopes of getting a better job.....

PYB

Rickie Fatler

Seed of Rickie rears his head again....

Pic of the Day -- Blake Street Edition

Courtesy of Mouse, following the Denver Broncos win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Sunday...