Superman?

--Omaha is getting a Lingerie Football League team. And YOU, as a passionate LFL fan, can submit team name ideas. Link here. PYB will get it started with our first thought, naturally, as a sister team to their men's indoor football counterparts: the Omaha Beef-Riders. Please forward any other ideas this way, so we can properly ridicule this situation.

--Dwight Howard adds another bitch move to his resume: Operation Shutdown. Pussies like him don't deserve gold medals, anyway. Just ask Rudy Galindo.

--PYB was bored at work and got some good interaction in The Roundup with Lee Barfknecht yesterday. We'll give you one guess which screen name we used.

--We are glad the weekend has arrived, so we can quit hearing how Nebraska's weekend series versus Purdue is the 'biggest since 2008' at Haymarket Park. We don't seem to remember the Boilermakers making deep runs into NCAA Regionals in recent years. Let's see if the Huskers can break the mold of getting shut down by the opponent's ace on Friday and then winning one or maybe two the remainder of the weekend. Try scoring against a good pitcher, please. Then we can talk about 'big series.' Maybe.

--This article say it's unclear whether Bobby Petrino boned his slut in Fayetteville. If he's paying for car service, he better be drilling her, or he's a bigger idiot than we thought.

--Finally, did anyone see LeQueen James' cheapshot moving screen against Chicago last night? Par for the course for weak-minded players trying to repair a pillow-soft image.

Time to run. Screaming child. Have a great weekend.

Going Vertical

--PYB thanks the OWH's Dork Chatelain for this link. Details of Warren Sapp's bankruptcy, including the child support owings for his six kids with five women. Strong effort, but paltry in relation to Antonio Cromartie's fuckfest. The Jets cornerback just welcomed bastard number 10 into the world. The egos of these idiots is amazing, as they'd rather drop hundreds of thousands of dollars on being an absentee father than $3.95 on a three-pack of Trojans. Can't they find rookie teammates to bring Magnums to the locker room before each practice instead of doughnuts? A few more latex Magnums, instead of magnums of Crystal at da club, would save these guys millions.

Side note to all productive US citizens: make sure to pay your taxes so that when this deadbeat becomes delinquent on his child support that his kids can still wear the latest Jordans and play the newest video games.

--Thanks also to Dork Chatelain for a hearty laugh this morning. He said he agreed that the NFL should eliminate the kickoff if it's proven dangerous. Flag football, here we come. Better yet, let the pussies play soccer.

--Last night, Ian Eagle called LeQueen James the Miami Heat's version of New York Yankees closer Mariano Rivera. Quote, unquote. Close, we supposed, minues all the championship rings, the killer instinct and late-game clutch performances. Has Eagle missed the last five years in the NBA? Anyhow, Queenie did score 15 straight points to close out the lowly New Jersey Nets last night. ESPN will be very proud and will rave about him for a few hours this morning.

--Good news for all the scumbags who want their $10 back for the Nebraska spring game.....they have two options. NU should keep the money...it's about time the cheapskates chipped in to the athletic department's funds for once. Second, anyone stupid enough to pay for this game should be penalized the full amount of the ticket.

--Two lessons from this video gem, courtesy of Deadspin: Delonte West is a psycho, and the Utah Jizz still have the whiniest fucking fans in the NBA. They're so bad, they could be Iowa State fans.

--Finally, on a rare negative note...it looks like the stupid term of Nebrasketball ain't going away any time soon. Leave it to Nebraskans to be proud of one of the dumbest sports phrases of all time, 20 years after its unfortunate inception.

--As a PS, we'll leave you with one of our favorite commercials.

Have a good week...PYB.

Iconic

--LeQueen James helped cement himself as an NBA legend last night, by losing another huge game for his Miami Heat. Leading by two, everyone's favorite icon had two free throws to seal a victory at Chicago. We then got what all knew was coming....one miss, and one make. So when scatter-shotted CJ Watson cashed a desperate three-pointer to put the game into OT, we knew it was over. Bulls 96 - Heat 86. "I've gone....and done it again."

--60,000 losers will be flocking to Lincoln this weekend for the spring football game. Many of those losers can see the new East Stadium expansion progress up close. Funny how 76,000 seats was enough when NU was winning national championships. Now, when it's a fringe-Top 25 program, they need 90,000+. Further proof that building counts more than winning games does.

--Can Darin Erstad's squad get at least two of three from the 'mighty' Buckeyes? We doubt it, but hope so.

Not Cool Man

--Bo Pinelli says there's a dropoff from the first-team linebacking crew (they suck) to the second team? That's scary.

--Bubba Watson was the best-case scenario during Masters viewing yesterday, once it became apparent that Hefty wasn't going to overcome his brain-dead fourth hole because the putts weren't dropping. The rest was a pack of personality-less nerds: Oosthuizen, Westwood, Kuchar, Hanson, et al. What a deflating Sunday.

--Meanwhile, Sergio Garcia has given up. Tiger Woods is still an irrelevant golfer and disrepectful person. And Phil can still be delusional, saying after the round that being on the wrong part of the fourth green was 'dead.'

--Somebody is lying here: coaches or player? Start as a freshman?? If you're any good, you could go a whole year at NU without seeing more than five passes your way!

--Too bad Demarcus Cousins is a douche, because his dead-on assessment of the ultimate studio gangster Blake Griffin was dead on. Unfortunately, it will be dismissed as sour grapes when it is a fact. Don't believe us? Let's pull the college tapes.

--Speaking of douchebags, look everyone Carmelo scored 43 points and beat the Chicago Bulls in OT!! Of course he shot 31 times, missed countless open shooters and the wing and was aided by a rusty Derrick Rose in his first game back from a groin pull. But it's all good in Melo's world, as long as he's the center of attention -- win or lose.

Let's hope the rest of this week is more inspiring than the Easter/Masters Sunday that was!

Go Cubs Go

One game. One blown lead. Another tank job by Carlos Marmol. Who's got the Cubs unders??

Who can't wait for Carlos Marmol to leave the Cubs and become the best closer in MLB? Book it!

68-94.

Go Cubs Go!

Editor's Note: Since this post....Kerry Wood and Marmol blew another game.....0-2.

Season on the Brink

PYB has been a bit absent since its return, mostly because nothing has triggered our bitterness and partly because it's a semi-slow news time. But, in hopes of starting this week off on a more productive foot we give you the following (we're working on adding a picture for this entry, but blogspot.com is being a piece of shit right now):

--The NCAA semifinal basketball game between Ohio State and Kansas was rigged. Was David Stern in building? Are we supposed to believe the the Buckeyes dominate the Jayhawks, as expected, in the first half and then can't do anything correctly in the second half? Are we supposed to believe those BS whistles on Deshaun Thomas were legitimate? Are we supposed to believe that Thad Matta went to the Roy Williams School of NCAA Tournament coaching during the 20-minute halftime break? No. No. No.

--The Nebraska baseball team dropped its weekend series at Northwestern. Ouch. How long until some dildo sports writer refreshes his "Northwestern has Nebraska's number in every sport" angle? It was already done after NU's basketball loss, we'd expect it to have happened already, if all the local beat writers weren't stroking it to the tape of Taylorina's "new" throwing motion...

Either way, this is not a good thing for Darin Erstad's team. An NCAA bid was improbable due to the fact that Mike Anderson ruined the program, didn't recruit well and scheduled like shit. Losses like this cement that fate.

--Sure, Donovan McFlabb was washed up when he was in Washington. But hopefully that doesn't camouflage the fact that he's right on all accounts: Mike Shanahan thinks it's still 1999 and Robert Griffin should be playing his home games on turf, indoors, if not both. (See Michael Vick in games after October 15). Herschel Walker thinks the Redskins overtraded for Griffin.

--Speaking of Griffin, and his Heisman Trophy from last December. We have two questions that we never posed concerning the award ceremony: 1. Why was a woman handling the podium announcement? 2. Why did she shout with glee "Robert Griffin....R G 3!" when she read his name? Like she was so happy that he beat all the other finalists? Like it was...uh...rigged???! Like the Heisman shares a home city with David Stern's office? The Heisman hasn't been legitimate in 25 years, but any last shred of dignity it had went out the window at that moment.

--Bonus question: if you guess correctly and tell us whether Taylorina is throwing a real pass route or a pass for a game of 500 here, you'll win a special prize (a copy of "Bounce: Behind the Velvet Rope") But according to his new 'coach,' as long as his feet are set properly he's good to go! That, and he drops back farther! And doesn't panic! Jesus.

--Lastly, Dirk Chatelain tries too hard in his expose column about Tim Miles, but there's some great background information about the new NU basketball coach. Read it, just try not to throw up after reading the overly syrupy delivery. Dirk, you're not Robert Frost....just get the nuts and bolts out there and save us about 500 unecessary words....

All for now, as PYB decides who to wager on tonite. Is the public right to jerk off the Kentucky squad, that nevers seems focused, skilled or particulary good outside of shotblocking? Or will the NCAA rig another game to keep Kansas close? Decisions, decisions....

Outfoxed

Let's get things rolling with some quick hitters before we have to trude off to work:

--Congratulations to UNC Basketball Coach Roy Williams! He finally got Kansas to the Final Four! Sure, Roy's Tarheels were beat up, but this was the lock of the century given the injuries and the fact that Williams is a terrible game coach. "Two possessions"???!

--Spring football practice has started, and Barney Cotton has started to shuffle his linemen around already. Is he making room for excuses next fall or for one of his daughters to get playing time?

--Has anyone else seen the mess that LaPhonso Ellis calls hair during his announcing stints on ESPN and recoiled in horror? Here's a picture from what had to be two years and 10 pounds ago....

--Pussy Blake Griffin is back to what he did in college--taking cheap shots at lesser teams and players. A few days after being cleaned out by Jason Smith (deservedly, we're sure), Griffin took a swipe at Trevor Ariza. We all surely know he'd never do this to anyone his size and apparently was too chickenshit to brawl Smith on the spot when the first incident happened. We'd love to see what the 1990s NY Knicks would do to him....We'd also like to see what they'd do to Chris Paul when he began strutting around like a peacock when his team was blowing out the lowly New Orleans Hornets.

--Haste makes waste, Mr. Osborne. This would have been a no-brainer hire in Lincoln, if the AD wasn't so enthralled with installing a altar boy as basketball coach.

--Bad weekend in Florida for the boys of summer: Jabba Chamberlain snaps his ankle, Bobby Jenks racks up a DUI, and Matt Bush adds to his trophy case of alcohol-related offenses by fleeing the scene this time. Fine work, gentlemen. If this injury doesn't derail Chamberlain's career, a 5+ ERA will.

--Thanks to CBS for further ruining the NCAA Basketball Tournament, which was formerly the perfect event. The Skycam and other horrible angles they continually use make the games unwatchable. Spare us.

--Josh Howard is out for the rest of the NBA season. No surprise. We were more surprised to find out he was still in the league.

All for now....try to contain your excitement as spring football rolls on and MLB's Opening Day nears!!