On a Friday...

This is a strange story. Neil Reed was just 36, two years younger than PYB.

What's not strange? Roy Williams had to cheat to finally win a title. If this were Bob Huggins or John Calipari, there'd be 50 exposes already...

This story is just bad...

Anyone else tired of hearing about DUI-getter and weed smoker Michael Phelps yet? Let's all pretend to like swimming for three weeks!! Can't wait for a couple more summers where everyone can pretend to like soccer!

Gotta run...customers are already sending whining e-mails our way...enjoy your Friday...

Trending Down

PYB checking in for the second straight day....a summertime record for 2012. We, of course, had no plans for a post today. But our ire was piqued while reading omaha.com.

--We left it alone when Taylorina Martinez was named to the Davey O'Brien award a couple weeks back. Big deal, another meaningless award made even more meaningless by limiting itself to a certain list of candidates before one snap of football is played. But now, old T-Vagic finds himself a Manning Award candidate, which was created to honor the achievements of Archie, Forrest and Forrest II.

So, if candidates are selected on their abilities to look make stupid faces after yet another crushing on-field error, we concur. Martinez is a top choice. Maybe the mob will rig the NCAA season just like it has rigged two Super Bowls for Forrest Jr.

--The Big Red Bracket that the Omaha World Herald has created is, for lack of a better word, gay. In pure ESPN fashion, it's a contrived gimmick used to fill dead air before the season begins. After all, how many times can sports geeks discuss possible position switches on the NU offensive line?

Anyhow, PYB picked out one ridiculous result. Alex Henery's 57-yard game-winning field goal crushed NU's 52-7 stomping of Colorado in 1992 by a count of 3547 to 846. OMG, WTF???

After pissing our pants, it points out all you need to know about Nebraska football at this time. Fans have forgotten what it meant to be good. Most latch on to any piece of "success" they can from recent years, apparently forgetting that the 52-7 bottle blasting came against an eighth-ranked Buffalo team stocked with Kornhole Stewart (complete with a 3/8 for 17 yard day), Michael Westbrook, Rashaan Salaam and Charles Johnson.

It was the coming out part for Tommie Frazier and his incredible four-year run. PYB will remember one of its favorite plays of all time, when true freshman Frazier ran over Deon Figures before Figures horse-collared Frazier before they both stood up and stared each other down for several seconds  (check the 1:30 mark of this video and excuse the music...a Nebraskan made it, after all). They hated each other, as they should have.

The good days, when winning meant something, losing hurt like a motherfucker (for weeks), and players weren't buttbuddies as soon as the game ended. (Check this video link, which comes with a Brad Nessler narration instead of Creed's droning and even features a Steve Carmer interception -- a rare bird indeed. It also features a Will Shields fumbleroosky at the 4:41 mark and the Frazier-Figures play at 6:05. Oh yes, don't forget the option being run with precision and offensive lineman that were able to move, pull AND block somebody!!)

The Halloween night crowd was, for the record, also the loudest we've been a part of at Memorial Stadium (two of our buddies were among the 25 ejections mentioned in the previous LJS link). And we realize that that claim is like bragging about banging Bill McCartney's daughter -- not exactly something to be proud of. Still....

THIS....in comparison to beating an unranked, 5-6 CU team after new coach Bo Pinelli almost tanked the game by calling the over-the-should-flip fake field goal for the 15th time in two weeks, turning a potential 10-point lead into a tie game. Of course, we all excused Pinelli at the time, thinking it was an isolated gaffe that every coach will pull over the years. Or not. We're fine.

Postscript: In watching highlights from yesteryear, PYB has been most alarmed by the current lack of firepower on the defensive line. NU used to be stocked with stars, but most importantly, underappreciated depth of impact players: Trev Alberts, Travis Hill, John Parrella, Terry Conneally, Broderick Thomas, Neal Smith, Lawrence Pete. Now, we're stuck with Cam Meredith.

Postscript II: Finally, check the 8:50 mark of the Nessler video for a cameo by Lance "Bullethead" Gray. It comes complete with a kickoff return knockout blow.

We're still fine....

Thunder Down Under

Some quick hitters this morning, just to prove we're alive and rumors of PYB's demise are highly exaggerated. Also, hoping RBV doesn't get a boner when reading the headline above....

--Great column about why Carmelo Anthony is a loser.

--A bit late, but PYB felt awful for Adam Scott after the Aussie did his best Greg Norman impersonation Sunday at Royal Lytham-St. Annes. Is it in the water Down Under? A country/continent rife with chokers: Norman, Stuart Appleby, Robert Allenby, Ian Baker-Finch (technically). Those are some all-time choke artists. The only solace is that the beneficiary was a PYB favorite, Ernie Els, and not some boring stiff like Stewart Cink.

As for Norman, what the hell do you expect from a guy who walked around the British a couple years back holding hands with his tennis-star girlfriend?

--How long does NFL camp last for guys who can't play more than one game without throwing a back out (Marcel Jones) or dropping 10 passes (Brandon Kinnie)? Maybe he can become a blocking wide receiver, aka his predecessor Niles Paul....

--Not bad....if you have 10 extra minutes....and don't already believe the NFL and NBA are rigged....

All for now...PYB.

"If you see a vertical joyride within reach, do the right thing, eat the peach..."

$25,000 Sack Pyramid

Enjoying the July MLB doldrums, we noticed:

--Rick Reilly slurping Eldrick Woods' cock this morning on an ESPN feature documenting just how amazing Woods is because he holed out an easy sand shot to close his second round at Royal Lytham & St. Annes. The shot became an excuse for a four-minute montage about Woods' heroics. He is, after all, just four shots back of the lead. At this rate, he'll only lose by eight shots. PYB also remembers his being crowned US Open champion this year after two rounds at Olympic Club (aka Olympic Course if you work for the York News Times).

--Speaking of The Open Championship, nice water in the bunkers. Also, is anything more ridiculous than calling it "The Open Championship?" Maybe, The Ohio State University....

--PYB stumbled across the Game Show Network last night and watched a lady win the $25,000 prize. Nothing better than listening to Dick Clark go berzerk when the board with the clues got stuck and wouldn't move to the final topic. "Hurry....Turn It!....TURN IT!!!"  We also appreciated the fact that to win, you had to be intelligent and not a slut, to win money. The outrageous 1980s hair, glasses and clothing were also great additions.

--Well that's all for now, our schedule is still full so posts will still be sporadic. Enjoy the OVERHYPE about how awesome it is that football is nearing. We just get excited when we think about the fact that one of NU's worst QBs in the last 30 years is set to become a four-year starter.

This should be played at high volume, preferably in a residential area.....

Out of the Cellar

Admittedly, PYB has been uninspired lately -- by a lack of internal drive (aka too much fucking work) and a lack of news. We didn't even have the heart to rip the ESPYs this year.

--This story, however, knocked us out of the chair and into uncontrollable laughter. Isn't a player supposed to be good to garner attention for postseason honors? And please, save the "Steinkuhler should have been an offensive lineman all along" angle.

As for Long, PYB thinks that the Cornhusker offensive line should average fewer than 30 missed assignments per game before any of its members are eligible for an honor of any sort.

--During our absence, NU got a commitment from a "four-star" QB prospect. Two problems: he's white and he has a hitch during certain types of throws. Those are things that don't hurt you in California Catholic high school football, but that will be exposed in Division I. Why does every NU QB commit have a fuckup in his giddyup? Is it that hard to throw like a man?

Also, was Niles Paul on hand for the Elite 11 camp show in the video from Jon Nyatawa's OWH story? This has got to be the worst set of hands in one spot since......any of the last five Nebraska teams....

--Dream Team 1992 or Entitlement Team 2012? Another ESPN-created argument, for lack of anything better to report. Kobe Bryant is a douche but the only killer left in the NBA, so of course he's going to say his team would win -- even though he recanted by saying it'd be different if the 1992 team was in its prime.

But are we supposed to believe that a team without one pure shooter is going to take out the greatest team of all time? A team with Chris Paul at PG is going to beat them? Hell, Paul hasn't had a decent NBA team except for the two lone seasons where he could lob the ball to his center for a dunk -- and we saw how that worked out in the playoffs each time.

A team with the game's biggest choker of all time (Queen James), James Harden and Andre Iguodala? A team currently with just a journeyman center, as opposed to Patrick Ewing and David Robinson? That said, this year's team may have gotten better by the loss of Blake Griffin and his shitty defense to a knee injury and the addition of Anthony Davis. We know Paul will be lost without his near-and-dear lob play to fall back on. Guess he'll have to settle for strutting around like a chicken, pretending he's done something during his career.

If the matchup did ever take place, we'd have just one request: that Christian Laettner have the long-hair-and-headband look that he sported the last two years of his NBA career. Well, that and that he and Griffin could play against each other, so the two biggest pussy studio gangstas in basketball history could flop around and pretend like they wanted to fight for two hours. Moving on.....

--PYB is happy for Ade Dagunduro and his Nigerian teammates. But isn't it sad when the most excitement surrounding the NU basketball program in the last ten years comes when rooting for a player from five years ago to QUALIFY for the Olympics on an also-ran squad?

--Dear Omaha World Herald: Please fix your fucking web site.

--Dear Yahoo! Sports: Quit ruining your web site. We quite using all your competitors' sites years ago due to them all being unreadable and unusable. We're here for good info -- not Macromedia Flash bullshit.

--Steve Stricker is at it again: beating up on also-rans and never-will-bes at the John Deere Classic this week on the PGA Tour. Way to go collect a check, Steve. Feel free to contend in a major one time, and quit beating up on Tom Gillis and Jimmy Walker. Stricker's pathetic ways do have a couple plusses for us: we get to see him cry after a victory and it gave us the chance to dub Eldrick Woods "The Black Steve Stricker", much like Keyshawn Johnson was "The Black Ricky Proehl".

All for now...gotta run!!

PYB's Summer Vacation

PYB will be back soon. Summer vacation and lack of news got in the way of us posting anything. See you soon.

Enjoy the MLB All-Star Game. It's so exciting.