In Case You're Ponderin'

--PYB wakes up this Sunday and is confused. The Nebraska football team has a former golf pro on its staff, and everyone is apparently cool with that and the team's middle-of-the-pack peformance. Yet, when it comes to basketball, former NU star and multi-year NBA veteran Erick Strickland comes back begging to come home. Begging to be part of the program for the rest of his career. Begging to help turn around decades of futility...and the genius that leads the athletic department can't find a spot for him.

Strickland is one of few Huskers to ever play in the NBA. A Husker hasn't been drafted in 13 years. And Tom Osborne can't find a spot for the former three-sport phenom. He can force-feed Frank Solich down the state's throat and ruin the pride of all Nebraska but can't work Dirty Dick Strick into the rotation somehow, some way? If he's not ready for an on-court position, get him some experience and let him earn the chance or weed himself out. Guys like Strickland have the charisma to make a difference. While buildings rise in Lincoln, the ship sinks. No wonder Creighton succeeds, and NU pisses into the wind...again and again...year after year. It's just a matter of time before Nebraska-Omaha surpasses the Cornhuskers on the hardwood, and we won't be surprised.

--Couldn't have said this any better ourselves, and NU willingly made itself part of an aging dinosaur.

--If the Omaha Northwest kids in this story are supposedly so important, why are they the ones suffering from this battle of egos?

--Alfonzo Dennard finally got drafted and may already be the New England Patriots' best cornerback. Bill Belichik's defense gave up 297 yards a game in the air.

--NU had four players drafted in the first seven rounds. None in the first round. A few free-agent signees. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Solich Era, Part II!!!

--Lazy fucking reporting by the OWH, by the way, as they quoted the players' Twitter accounts instead of picking up the phone. Jesus.

--Make sure to read the free-agent signing link through to the end, just so you know that Austin Cassidy hasn't signed with a team yet. Unlike Nebraska, the NFL is a results-oriented business and scrubs don't get playing time just because they're good in school.

 --In case you're wondering, the Nebraska men's golf team sits at 11th place in the Big 10 championships. Earlier this week, the OWH raved about the team racking up several top-ten finishes this season. Apparently, the fact that most tournaments have 12-14 teams was lost on them....as was the fact that NU plays what could generously be called a 'mid-major' caliber schedule.

 --Paging Ron Brown....the Stone Age is over. Does he still drag his wife around by her hair? Grant Hill would be so disappointed.

--The NBA has two young stars who get it. Derrick Rose is one of them. Unfortunately, he went down with a blown ACL yesterday when he was inexplicably still in the game with 1:30 left and the Chicago Bulls leading 99-87. Rose's injury-laden season ended with the biggest blow of all, and David Stern can be blamed for running the players harder than pack mules in a sham of a 66-game season.

Take heart, Chicago fans. The Bulls didn't have the firepower to win it all. Probably didn't have enough to win the East. Now you've got an excuse to ease the pain. Either way, Stern has it all pre-orchestrated. We're left with one good guy (Kevin Durant), a bunch of self-proclaimed icons and babies (LeQueen and Melo), a rapist, and one real team (Spurs). Bulls Coach Tom Thibodeau, fair or not, may not ever get past this one.

That's all we got for now, and as we click "Publish", we hope that Blogspot's formatting has been corrected. If not, we apologize for the unreadability and will be looking for other host sites as needed.....thanks for reading....PYB

Past My Bedtime...signing out...

How old is mel kiper?

Has anyone who has been laid within 2 years ever participated in a mock draft?

Somehow NFLN's coverage is more unwatchable than ESPN's.

Can we end the term BEAST already?

Suzy kolber in an evening gown. Are we fucking serious tonite?

Mayock just said floyd is a natural "snatcher". Yeah, me too

Why did the cardinals just draft kellen winslow jr?

Mike mayock sucks

Mike mayock sucks

Glad the nfl network has a ticker update to tell me the pick is submitted.

Fletcher?? Is this Liar Liar?

2. Dontari Poe stole Princess Leia's hairdo

Random draft thoughts: 1. Its terrible

OG Kush

This is quite possibly the biggest piece of shit that PYB has ever seen. Link here. Do we need to provide any commentary, or should we just let the column do the work for itself? We'll let Phil Espisito decide. In the meantime, we'll compile a list of our favorite teams -- and they'll probably all be champions from the last two years.

Melting Down

Another Bo Pinelli product melts down in crunch time. The last images we'll have of former Cornhusker great Alfonzo Dennard is pissing away his last few minutes at NU by getting booted for fighting a fat wide receiver in the Capital One bowl and then scrapping with some irrelevant douche on O Street an hour after the bars in Lincoln closed. Let's bullet point this, and hope blogspot got its formatting right by now (doubtful) or you won't be able to read this at all: 1. What is a future NFL draft pick doing on O Street an hour after last call? Shouldn't he be back home banging a hot slut by then? 2. What is a future NFL draft pick doing at the O Street bars? Shouldn't he be at some higher-class, non-piss infested establishment now that he has some agent money in his $400 jean pockets? 3. Why aren't his friends kicking the shit out of the other guy for him.....we see it done all the time? 4. As stupid as Dennard was in his actions, PYB thinks the charges are trumped up. Exaggerated at best. Lincoln police officers (as a whole) are the biggest bunch of cocksuckers in the world. We saw it during the 1990s in our college days, over and over. "Serve and protect" was replaced by LPD with "harass citizens and hand out as many minor tickets as possible to help make up for the fact that we were totally irrelevant during high school". Shit, we've been harassed as 35-year-old alumni going back. Threatened with being ticketed at a tailgate party while being totally sober. Yelled at for not moving quickly enough while some dickhead tries to park his truck as he was arriving 10 minutes before kickoff to a football game. Told to beat it by a cop when requesting help hailing a taxi. Back bitten, beaten...with a club...or maybe you could call it a tire iron. So in summary, fuck them. Fuck LPD. If they made it a point to cooperate with the citizens of Lincoln on a regular basis, we might find this story viable. Given what we've witnessed over 20 years, we ain't buying it. What most likely happened is that the police officer jumped in from behind Dennard during the fight and got hit in the face. Got roughed up a bit when he jumped into a fray where he physically had no business. Then reverted to the "you assaulted a cop, you're going to jail!" line, ie The Fugitive. Maybe not, but most likely. Why aren't more details being released in local outlets? Prove me wrong. Until then, we're sticking to our story....Just stick to your story....for that reason, I can't get certified....SMH.... 5. Is this another instance of one of Bo's Boys not keeping his cool when big things are on the line. Since when is Dennard a fighter? Apparently, since January. This is a guy who was previously pictured on PYB with teddy bear on his lap during a flight---pretty gay to say the least. And now he's gone rogue? Doesn't add up. 6. Does it say something that present-day Huskers get arrested for fighting, but when the teams were actually good in the 1990s they got charged with rape, 2nd-degree murder and discharge of a firearm? Can Dork Chatelain run some numbers on this for us? 7. PYB likes the chat board studs who say Dennard isn't going to ever play in the NFL now because he allegedly "assaulted" a polic offifcer. Right. OJ Simpson decapitated two people and got away unscathed. These are nerds who don't know the social caste system. Football players are at the top, and that's why they get the hottest pussy, make the most money and get to do shit nobody else does. That's also why, when they suck on the field, they get ripped by people like us. That's the way it is, it's been that way for years.... 8. Most important, what the FUCK is Dennard wearing in his mug shot? Is that a shirt? A 1980s leather disco suit? Or an X-Ray vest? Whatever it is, it's horrible. We have no idea. What is certain is that Dennard will be out a few hundred thousand dollars up front.....@FonzieDennard , "What's in your wallet?"

Boiled Over

It's Saturday, and PYB is happy. But its constituents are pissed. (We apologize in advance, as blogspot.com has changed its format and the formatting of posts are temporarily (we hope) fucked): --AMG is pissed about this nonsensical article from the Washington Post, announcing Niles Paul is moving to tight end. Isn't that where a team always puts its most sure-handed player who is too slow to play wide receiver? We're happy Paul will finally be able to use his only gridiron talent: blocking. --Others are pissed about the Nebraska baseball team's awful camouflage uniforms Friday against Purdue. We don't mind mixing in some camo as an honor to the armed forces once in a while. But leave it to NU to butcher the move and roll out an absolutely embarrassing and ugly design. But hell, we're just happy that NU scored five runs in its loss to the vaunted Boilermakers. One is about par for the course when Darin Erstad's Huskers face a Big 10 "ace." --Mad Chad is mad that the Omaha World Herald's Dirk Chatelain is 'such a Columbus nerd.' We're just happy that he changed his blog name away from "Brunch Bites," even though he somehow picked a name that is worse in "Mad Chatter." It's past his bedtime, for sure. --Anyway, PYB is also happy that there isn't shit for meaningful sports on this week, so we can pretend to be a great husband and father for a couple days.....up until the Sunday golf scramble at 1:30pm. Or until we bet on a meaningless game. --We're also happy that the LA Lakers got bottle blasted last night in San Antonio, making us a bit richer. --Amare Stoudemire came back last night, and the Knicks suck again. STAT continued his rapid visual aging by adding an awful cornrow 'do to his James-Worthy glasses. The specs are required by doctor's orders, but the hairdo is 5+ years past its prime. Caramelo 'looked disengaged' because he couldn't bog down the offense and take 35 shots for his 30 points. But fret not, NYK signed Dan Gadzuric as a "big insurance policy!" Yep, the guy who averaged eight points a game for the Milwaukee Bucks will save the day in Gotham! His most recent experience, where he averaged 12 points a game in Frisco, Tex., for the Texas Legends, will be priceless too. PYB loves reading the NY Post coverage of the Knicks every time they circle the drain! --Finally, as we say our goodbye this morning, Bleacher Report offers a list of the 50 most worthless players in the NBA. We likes lists like this...but ours would most likely be longer.... --Finally, really, in watching the Atlanta Hawk-Boston Celtic game last night, we saw that Erick Dampier and Keyon Dooling are still in the NBA. Who knew? Dampier is racking up 0.1 ppg and 1.5 rpg. Dooling has somehow been in the league for 12 years and showed he could still put the ball in the bucket by scoring 17 last night with Rondo/Allen/Studio Gangsta KG/Bugs Pierce on the bench... See ya.....

Superman?

--Omaha is getting a Lingerie Football League team. And YOU, as a passionate LFL fan, can submit team name ideas. Link here. PYB will get it started with our first thought, naturally, as a sister team to their men's indoor football counterparts: the Omaha Beef-Riders. Please forward any other ideas this way, so we can properly ridicule this situation.

--Dwight Howard adds another bitch move to his resume: Operation Shutdown. Pussies like him don't deserve gold medals, anyway. Just ask Rudy Galindo.

--PYB was bored at work and got some good interaction in The Roundup with Lee Barfknecht yesterday. We'll give you one guess which screen name we used.

--We are glad the weekend has arrived, so we can quit hearing how Nebraska's weekend series versus Purdue is the 'biggest since 2008' at Haymarket Park. We don't seem to remember the Boilermakers making deep runs into NCAA Regionals in recent years. Let's see if the Huskers can break the mold of getting shut down by the opponent's ace on Friday and then winning one or maybe two the remainder of the weekend. Try scoring against a good pitcher, please. Then we can talk about 'big series.' Maybe.

--This article say it's unclear whether Bobby Petrino boned his slut in Fayetteville. If he's paying for car service, he better be drilling her, or he's a bigger idiot than we thought.

--Finally, did anyone see LeQueen James' cheapshot moving screen against Chicago last night? Par for the course for weak-minded players trying to repair a pillow-soft image.

Time to run. Screaming child. Have a great weekend.

Going Vertical

--PYB thanks the OWH's Dork Chatelain for this link. Details of Warren Sapp's bankruptcy, including the child support owings for his six kids with five women. Strong effort, but paltry in relation to Antonio Cromartie's fuckfest. The Jets cornerback just welcomed bastard number 10 into the world. The egos of these idiots is amazing, as they'd rather drop hundreds of thousands of dollars on being an absentee father than $3.95 on a three-pack of Trojans. Can't they find rookie teammates to bring Magnums to the locker room before each practice instead of doughnuts? A few more latex Magnums, instead of magnums of Crystal at da club, would save these guys millions.

Side note to all productive US citizens: make sure to pay your taxes so that when this deadbeat becomes delinquent on his child support that his kids can still wear the latest Jordans and play the newest video games.

--Thanks also to Dork Chatelain for a hearty laugh this morning. He said he agreed that the NFL should eliminate the kickoff if it's proven dangerous. Flag football, here we come. Better yet, let the pussies play soccer.

--Last night, Ian Eagle called LeQueen James the Miami Heat's version of New York Yankees closer Mariano Rivera. Quote, unquote. Close, we supposed, minues all the championship rings, the killer instinct and late-game clutch performances. Has Eagle missed the last five years in the NBA? Anyhow, Queenie did score 15 straight points to close out the lowly New Jersey Nets last night. ESPN will be very proud and will rave about him for a few hours this morning.

--Good news for all the scumbags who want their $10 back for the Nebraska spring game.....they have two options. NU should keep the money...it's about time the cheapskates chipped in to the athletic department's funds for once. Second, anyone stupid enough to pay for this game should be penalized the full amount of the ticket.

--Two lessons from this video gem, courtesy of Deadspin: Delonte West is a psycho, and the Utah Jizz still have the whiniest fucking fans in the NBA. They're so bad, they could be Iowa State fans.

--Finally, on a rare negative note...it looks like the stupid term of Nebrasketball ain't going away any time soon. Leave it to Nebraskans to be proud of one of the dumbest sports phrases of all time, 20 years after its unfortunate inception.

--As a PS, we'll leave you with one of our favorite commercials.

Have a good week...PYB.

Iconic

--LeQueen James helped cement himself as an NBA legend last night, by losing another huge game for his Miami Heat. Leading by two, everyone's favorite icon had two free throws to seal a victory at Chicago. We then got what all knew was coming....one miss, and one make. So when scatter-shotted CJ Watson cashed a desperate three-pointer to put the game into OT, we knew it was over. Bulls 96 - Heat 86. "I've gone....and done it again."

--60,000 losers will be flocking to Lincoln this weekend for the spring football game. Many of those losers can see the new East Stadium expansion progress up close. Funny how 76,000 seats was enough when NU was winning national championships. Now, when it's a fringe-Top 25 program, they need 90,000+. Further proof that building counts more than winning games does.

--Can Darin Erstad's squad get at least two of three from the 'mighty' Buckeyes? We doubt it, but hope so.

Not Cool Man

--Bo Pinelli says there's a dropoff from the first-team linebacking crew (they suck) to the second team? That's scary.

--Bubba Watson was the best-case scenario during Masters viewing yesterday, once it became apparent that Hefty wasn't going to overcome his brain-dead fourth hole because the putts weren't dropping. The rest was a pack of personality-less nerds: Oosthuizen, Westwood, Kuchar, Hanson, et al. What a deflating Sunday.

--Meanwhile, Sergio Garcia has given up. Tiger Woods is still an irrelevant golfer and disrepectful person. And Phil can still be delusional, saying after the round that being on the wrong part of the fourth green was 'dead.'

--Somebody is lying here: coaches or player? Start as a freshman?? If you're any good, you could go a whole year at NU without seeing more than five passes your way!

--Too bad Demarcus Cousins is a douche, because his dead-on assessment of the ultimate studio gangster Blake Griffin was dead on. Unfortunately, it will be dismissed as sour grapes when it is a fact. Don't believe us? Let's pull the college tapes.

--Speaking of douchebags, look everyone Carmelo scored 43 points and beat the Chicago Bulls in OT!! Of course he shot 31 times, missed countless open shooters and the wing and was aided by a rusty Derrick Rose in his first game back from a groin pull. But it's all good in Melo's world, as long as he's the center of attention -- win or lose.

Let's hope the rest of this week is more inspiring than the Easter/Masters Sunday that was!

Go Cubs Go

One game. One blown lead. Another tank job by Carlos Marmol. Who's got the Cubs unders??

Who can't wait for Carlos Marmol to leave the Cubs and become the best closer in MLB? Book it!

68-94.

Go Cubs Go!

Editor's Note: Since this post....Kerry Wood and Marmol blew another game.....0-2.

Season on the Brink

PYB has been a bit absent since its return, mostly because nothing has triggered our bitterness and partly because it's a semi-slow news time. But, in hopes of starting this week off on a more productive foot we give you the following (we're working on adding a picture for this entry, but blogspot.com is being a piece of shit right now):

--The NCAA semifinal basketball game between Ohio State and Kansas was rigged. Was David Stern in building? Are we supposed to believe the the Buckeyes dominate the Jayhawks, as expected, in the first half and then can't do anything correctly in the second half? Are we supposed to believe those BS whistles on Deshaun Thomas were legitimate? Are we supposed to believe that Thad Matta went to the Roy Williams School of NCAA Tournament coaching during the 20-minute halftime break? No. No. No.

--The Nebraska baseball team dropped its weekend series at Northwestern. Ouch. How long until some dildo sports writer refreshes his "Northwestern has Nebraska's number in every sport" angle? It was already done after NU's basketball loss, we'd expect it to have happened already, if all the local beat writers weren't stroking it to the tape of Taylorina's "new" throwing motion...

Either way, this is not a good thing for Darin Erstad's team. An NCAA bid was improbable due to the fact that Mike Anderson ruined the program, didn't recruit well and scheduled like shit. Losses like this cement that fate.

--Sure, Donovan McFlabb was washed up when he was in Washington. But hopefully that doesn't camouflage the fact that he's right on all accounts: Mike Shanahan thinks it's still 1999 and Robert Griffin should be playing his home games on turf, indoors, if not both. (See Michael Vick in games after October 15). Herschel Walker thinks the Redskins overtraded for Griffin.

--Speaking of Griffin, and his Heisman Trophy from last December. We have two questions that we never posed concerning the award ceremony: 1. Why was a woman handling the podium announcement? 2. Why did she shout with glee "Robert Griffin....R G 3!" when she read his name? Like she was so happy that he beat all the other finalists? Like it was...uh...rigged???! Like the Heisman shares a home city with David Stern's office? The Heisman hasn't been legitimate in 25 years, but any last shred of dignity it had went out the window at that moment.

--Bonus question: if you guess correctly and tell us whether Taylorina is throwing a real pass route or a pass for a game of 500 here, you'll win a special prize (a copy of "Bounce: Behind the Velvet Rope") But according to his new 'coach,' as long as his feet are set properly he's good to go! That, and he drops back farther! And doesn't panic! Jesus.

--Lastly, Dirk Chatelain tries too hard in his expose column about Tim Miles, but there's some great background information about the new NU basketball coach. Read it, just try not to throw up after reading the overly syrupy delivery. Dirk, you're not Robert Frost....just get the nuts and bolts out there and save us about 500 unecessary words....

All for now, as PYB decides who to wager on tonite. Is the public right to jerk off the Kentucky squad, that nevers seems focused, skilled or particulary good outside of shotblocking? Or will the NCAA rig another game to keep Kansas close? Decisions, decisions....