Miscellani

Finally something worthwhile from Jason Whitlock's desk....And at least some good comes of the NBA's transparent and overdone pro-gay blitz during this playoff season.

Game One of the NBA Finals starts in 20 minutes. PYB can't wait to see what David Stern has cooked up for this series...Is he arrogant to rig the Heat over the Mavs twice in five years?

And in honor of the NBA's tolerant stance, we offer this video for the 100th time. Always worth a view...

The Stranger...

--Cody Green is leaving Nebraska. No big deal. He isn't a very good quarterback and certainly not Division I material. PYB wishes him luck in his search for playing time and thanks him for being a class act in Lincoln.

That said, Shawn Twatson crushed any chance Green ever had of being successful at a major university, continually calling plays that did not fit the quarterback's skills and putting him in the game in horrible situations--usually inside NU's own ten yard line with the game on the line. Twatson's embarrassing tenure at Nebraska had a major negative effect on many parties, even after his departure.

--Here's a great theory by another fool-with-a-dick blogger: Nebraska will own the Big Ten, because Jim Tressel is a crook. So since Tressel got axed/resigned, the Cornhuskers will roll through their new conference even though they have an offense that can't score, a bad QB, no depth at RB and an offensive line that's been bad for 14 years, and barely made the 2010 final Top 25. OK, we can see it now.

--By the way, what took so long with Tressel? Apparently, wearing a sweater vest, suit or bow tie will delay justice for a few months as one's falsely contrived image erodes with each new allegation.

--Now...Bo Pinelli to Ohio State? Perfect fit. The Buckeyes haven't had a good offense for 30 years. Unless, of course, you work at ESPN and are able to see just how dominant they are while rolling up another 19-6 win on Illinois.

--Thanks, Deadspin, for this classic...I don't give a hell!

--Finally, enjoy your Memorial Day holiday with this money song of the day...

Only the Acoustic Version...

In honor of the Tall Dick...

There It Is...There's The Safety

$$ Song of the Day Marathon

In honor of Memorial Day, PYB will offer several $$ Songs of the Day the remainder of the weekend. So if you're bored with no plans, and are desperate enough to be reading our site (I'm desperate enough to be writing), at least you can slam a beer or two to these selections.

We Have Busch...

So Creighton's new stadium (you know, TD Ameritrade...that they paid for and built, riiiight??) is just like Busch Stadium in St. Louis, only smaller? Agreed. Minus the Arch, the franchise history, the professional players....or even top-level college players, for that matter.

St. Louis cannot boast a better view, though. How can you beat the view of the toxic Asarco job site and a Gallup campus that will never really happen?

Nothing says influential alumni like having to gravy train all your facilities off the city and its taxpayers.

And is the other facility Creighton built and financed(right?), the Qwest Center, a mini Madison Square Garden?

-Henry Doorly Zoo is just a smaller San Diego Zoo.

-The rain forest there is a mini-Amazon.

-The desert dome is almost as nice as the Sahara Desert.

-Both UNMC and Creighton Medical Center are mini Mayo Clinics.

-Werner Park is better than Yankee Stadium.

-Omaha's wonderful restaurants are third in the world, behind Paris and Rome.

-The riverboat casinos rival the Wynn and Bellagio in Las Vegas, only with hotter chicks.

-The City of Omaha is actually just like Manhattan--with downtown and MidTown and all, and it will likely be the best city ever once the overpriced, under-amenitied MidTown Crossing condos there are complete.

Why anyone would choose NOT to live there is amazing??

Oh yeah: and they fired Mike Anderson. PYB can quit beating that drum. Now fix the program

Scottie Pippen...

Has lost his mind. Or an attempt to stay relevant. At least one former Jordan teammate has kept his sanity. Maybe Pippen's was destroyed during one of his nose jobs...

Apparently, two decent playoff series make LeQueen James the best ever? Consider the source, though. Great defender...but the same guy who refused to go back in the game when a game-ending play wasn't called for him. Possibly the start of the me-first pussy era in the NBA...

This link is Exhibit Z as to why The Queen could never match MJ. A real man would never do this...

A few other reasons why he'll never be MJ, or Kobe Bryant for that matter.

--Six rings to none

--Any rings The Queen does get won't count, since he ran for the hills and Dwyane Wade's help

--Can't close games

--Misses critical free throws, continually, even in regular-season games

--Doesn't make his teammates better

--Couldn't stay with Cleveland and mold the Cavaliers into a champion

--Low basketball IQ (aka the dribble for 20 seconds and jack a three at the buzzer offensive philosophy)

--Continued loss of focus, keeping the opponent close rather than winning by 30 points.

LQJ could win 10 NBA championships, and none of them will count. He sealed his fate as a pussy and a fraud the day he signed on in South Beach--the home of fake tans, fake tits and fake titles....

--

Fab Six

SIX martinis for Jalen Rose before driving? Wow. Most impressive is the fact that his BAC was only .088-.120, depending on which test you believe.

Hard drive crashed. Fuck me. PYB will return asap.

Thunder Nation

--Now this is a dunk worth talking about. Taller player, vertical rise, power on the finish. Still no MJ over Ewing, however... Or Pippen on Ewing.... Or Jordan again...

--Delaying the inevitable at Haymarket Park. As NU's baseball team strives for its third-straight last-place Big 12 finish, Mike Anderson goes on record saying he runs a 'pretty good program.' We would certainly, then, hate to see a bad one. Does that qualify as denial or just complete detachment from reality?



--And another repeat dunk, for old time's sake.....somehow, from 19 years ago.

--PYB was pleased with the Game One results from both NBA Conference Finals...but now we see it coming. David Stern rigging an OKC vs. Miami finals, as he ushers in the newly anointed starts in Kevin Durant and LeBron James. Dirk Nowitzki will receive the Charles Barkley Award for being a good NBA soldier who plays the patsy and never gets a ring. The beat goes on...

Rat Sighting?

--Doc Sadler posted a video on Facebook from his trip to Augusta National with Bo Pinelli. At the end of this video, PYB thinks Rat Solich emerges but cannot be certain. Does he get to call timeout every time he's uncertain on club selection? No question.

--The Mavs win Game One over Oklahoma City 121-112, with Dirk Nowitzki getting a Stern-rigged 24 free throw attempts. The over/under was a ridiculous 193.5. PYB didn't bet it. Nor did we bet the +375 lines of Dirk and Kevin Durant for scoring more than 34 points. Dirk had 48 points, and KD had 40. Figures.

--Speaking of rigged, Cleveland wins the NBA Draft Lottery. David Stern is so arrogant that he doesn't even hide his puppet mastering anymore.

--The Chicago Cubs racked up another loss last night, this installment being a 7-5 defeat to the Cincinnati Reds. After posting two early leads, the Cubs blew it and ALL SEVEN runs were unearned. Tough luck for pitchers Matt Garza and Kerry Wood, right? Only thing was that both fielding errors allowing the runs were made by the pitchers themselves. Only the Cubs.....

Tejas Trio

--PYB checks in quickly from the road to beat a dead horse. Here's to rooting for Missouri this weekend in Lincoln---we want no wiggle room for Mike Anderson's hopes of coaching next season at Nebraska. In the meantime, the Omaha World-Herald has put together some good recaps for us, so that we don't have to....

Somehow, NU is still alive for a conference tournament bid. We're certain, though, that they'll miss for the third consecutive year.

Special thanks to the OWH's new addition, Sam McKewon, for over-analyzing the numbers while providing another damning piece of evidence against Anderson. The guy is a total embarrassment.

But, as long as he keeps chugging along, pumping out a couple Academic All-Conference players each season, TO seems happy. Who knew holding a 3.1 GPA in business administration could mean so much?

--Must have been a slow news day in Omaha sports. This is really worthy of a writeup? Couldn't they have analyzed Nebraska's impact the Big 10's hot dog sales or something equally inane?

--Obviously, this is a little late. But John Smoltz's meltdown last month at the Georgia Classic should end all the experimental field additions on the Nationwide Tour, or any other circuit. Smoltz is a legitimate golfer and shot 84-87. End of story.

--Lastly, let's call the Taj Gibson over Dwyane Wade dunk what it now is---the most overhyped of all time. PYB missed it live, but saw all the rants on Twitter and ESPN. When we finally saw it.....it was an average dunk by a 6'9" player over a much shorter GUARD. No rise, no violence, no thunder. And supposedly this is 'in your face' to Wade because he did what he was supposed to in trying to contest the goal? Please.

That's all for now, we'll check in from the road as soon as we can to update you on all the success-drunk Maverick fans' exaggerated NBA title hopes....

We'll Talk...

--Today's Tyler Gabbert Award for Courage goes to Tiger Woods, who quit after nine holes of The Players Championship, because his game is trash and blamed it on his knee. Maybe his 'talk' with Bubba Watson didn't shed any light on his sinking game.

--Well put by The Diggler when sending this link to PYB: UNO has donors? At PYB, we prefer to call them halfwits who couldn't pass their classes in Lincoln and had to transfer back to UNO and live in Big Daddy's house while siphoning his cash to pay for the next six years of classes while laboring for a general business degree.

Sure, PYB was sympathetic to the cause of the Maverick wrestling and football programs, which were axed with little forethought and less tact. But when NFL washout Chris Bober calls the football program's cut a product of a 'conspiracy' by the Nebraska athletic department (the real one....in Lincoln) because the Cornhuskers were scared of the sleeping giant Mavericks that is fucking laughable! A sleeping Division I giant? Why? Because they don't consistently make the Division II playoffs and rarely, if ever, go deep into them? Because Nebraska and Iowa provide such fertile recruiting grounds for speed and athleticism that it is just a matter of time before a second D-I program thrives?

The Maverick program turned out to be just a shell, just like its poster boy Rod Kush's status, wealth and business were. F you, Mavs. University of No Opportunity, once and for all...but they have dorms now! And a new student union! TRUTH: It's a glorified high school.

Even more ironic is seeing Paula LaVigne report this story. Somehow she branched out to broadcast journalism. PYB remembers editing her Daily Nebraskan stories down from 5000 wandering words to a mere 2000, as she rambled on about the latest 'news' on the UNL campus.

--Dwight Howard = soft. Coming up: one Lebron-type excuse and a run to another contender where he can hide behind a real star with the stones to win big games---or at least a first-round playoff series.

--Speaking of Lebron James, his SUPPOSED apology to Cleveland for his handling of his signing with Miami is a joke. Paraphrasing he said, "I couldn't do it all myself." Michael Jordan never said this. He got role players, and they formed a team. James got scared, and ran to the point of least resistance. That's the difference between a coward and a six-time champion.

--Finally, PYB lodges an indirect complaint and rant from RunLike, who is not happy with the NBA's All-Defensive first team. To any knowledgeable basketball fan, the second team of Tony Allen, Chris Paul, Tyson Chandler, Andrea Iguodala and Joakim Noah are likely better than the first team of Dwight Howard, Rajon Rondo, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant and Kevin Garnett.

Howard and Rondo are legitimate picks, but Queen James is living off his name alone, Bryant has never been a lockdown defender and guards smaller and slower opponents consistenly, while KG is five years removed from being a legitimate All-Defense first-teamer, as he's all snarl and cheap shots and nut grabs and little substance these days.

What Allen has done to Kevin Durant the first four games of the Memphis-OKC series proves he's undervalued. However, the casual fan and apparently the NBA coaches side with big names who happen to average more than two steals or blocks per game. Or, should we say, David Stern makes sure the biggest names with inflated stats are sure to round out these silly teams to keep the NBA Marketing Machine rolling??

The glaring omission is Grant Hill who took on the Suns' best opponent nightly, whether they were quicker or bigger: Blake Griffin, Bryant, Durant, Manu Ginobili, or even one-trick pony Amare Stoudemire.

All for now....thanks for reading....PYB

Epic Night

--Thank goodness for Omaha's great infrastructure! The downtown are survived the droves of fans that teemed into the area for two epic events: a Bob Seger concert and a college baseball game between two bottom feeding teams. Luckily, it wasn't 1979 Bog Seger was still relevant or 2002 when Nebraska actually won games. The odds of managing such traffic, which likely had to rival that of any Olympics or the March on Washington, had to be lower than the New Orleans' levees holding after Hurricane Katrina. And let's all say a prayer of thanks that Eddie Money wasn't opening for Seger, as that would have just been too much for any traffic system to handle....

--And just in case you wondered, the Bluejays beat NU 9-8 after nearly coming from ahead to lose after posting a 9-0 lead. It's good to know that Mike Anderson is just as bad during the week againt bad non-conference competition as he is on weekends against sub-par Big 12competition.

--It's always a good move to go old school, in this case the Washington Wizards--now time to become the Bullets once again. Staying as the Wizards instead of the supposedly violence-provoking "Bullets" won't prevent the deadbeats in DC from murdering each other.

Have a great Wednesday, and look for a post soon about the farce that is the NBA All-Defensive Team!

I Smell......

P-U-S-S-Y (to quote NWA). PYB's love for the Gabbert family grew exponentially Monday evening, when word came out that the latest daughter is transferring away from Mizzou after one bad spring game performance. Nice parenting. Was Tyler's big sister, Blaine, still too shellshocked from Jon Gruden ripping his ass in person on ESPN to offer any advice? When the going gets tough, quit. We saw Blaine hold true to this mantra against Iowa in the Insight Bowl last December.

Oh no. TO is laying the groundwork to keep his pathetic baseball coach around for time everlasting. He "doesn't evaluate solely on record." We have covered the reasons Mike Anderson should have been axed three years ago many times, but apparently Osborne hasn't seen any of them himself. If not, it's time for Osborne to step aside himself.

There is no set of evaluation criteria that Anderson would pass. Haymarket Park is less than half full for series against Top-10 teams. The team will have missed three consecutive conference tournaments after this weekend's series against Texas A&M. How about the player discipline Osborne covets, according to the OWH article? Supposed savior Logan Ehlers getting an MIP a week after he became eligible doesn't fit that category. General player morale? How can that be any good?

If winning is not the goal, shut the program down. Little league and intramurals are there for those just wanting to have a good time.

Triumphant Return for the Roses

PYB makes its triumphant return to blogdom today, only to find to see that nothing has changed at Haymarket Park. Mike Anderson blathers on about 'lost aggressiveness' and one bad at bat tainting the next. Whatever. Top 10 program seven seasons ago, now missing the CONFERENCE tournament for the third straight season---barring the earth shattering occurrence of NU winning consecutive Big 12 series since....who knows....forever.

The offense continues to be pathetic, as it entered the Texas series batting .274 in conference play. One might think a number like that really sucks, until looking at the last three seasons where the Huskers hit .274, .273 and .263 in the Big 12.

One would also think hard numbers like this would lead to a coach's dismissal. But in the wayward, no focus, era of TO as AD...that ain't happening. Just take it up the ass every series as every team wallows in mediocrity. Here's to a Longhorn sweep this weekend!

--In brighter news, the NU football team landed a four-star receiver, whatever that is. Too bad the Huskers' starting QB can't throw, read defenses or elude a pass rush. And wasn't Niles Paul a five-star receiver?

--The Los Angeles Lakers are on the verge of elimination. We all know that Kobe Bryant doesn't need extra free time over the summers.

--The wildly inconsistent Atlanta Hawks stayed consistent Friday night, as they were blasted by the Chicago Bulls 99-82, losing at home for the FOURTEENTH time this season by 13 points or more.

--Don't be mad at Rashard Mendenhall. He's not a bad person. Just stupid and uneducated. Like most football players. Not everyone can have 35 academic all-conference team members each season like Frank Solich.

--The passing of a legend in the golf world......which brings to mind a famous quote by Harry Caray during a Cubs broadcast: "Seev Buh-LESS-stros" has won the Masters.

--Today marks the 137th Run for the Roses in depressing Louisville, Kentucky. Experts are calling it a weak Derby field. Who gives a shit? It's an excuse to gamble and slam booze. PYB has not had time to handicap at all, so please send your picks this way.....

--Here's to another good sports weekend and more NBA playoff games with that shitty Led Zeppelin song re-make to ruin it for us!