Just Desserts....

Turns out Cowboy veterans didn't have to take care of Dez Bryant. Karma did. High-ankle sprain will derail this entire season.

NU football practices can't start soon enough...maybe that way all the hacks can quit beating this dead horse...

The fact that his older brother is a flop at NU probably discouraged them from pursuing this recruit. Thank god the Solich days are gone...

Props for repping Y-Town...

Finally, thanks to Juice for this pic from Coors Field last night, during the Cubs' epic 17-2 bottle blasting.

Nice signing, Jim Hendry. Always great to sign a pitcher with a 10.00 ERA, have him blow a few games for you, then cut him. Genius.

Hopefully, this is the spark that Alex Gordon needed. He has his average up to .183 in his latest MLB stint, getting about one hit per game.

Pic of the Day...

So apparently Carlos Silva gets VIP on the way to the bloodbath at Coors Friday....Pic courtesy of Juice...

Masoli to take Denial to Oxford

Jeremiah Masoli wasn't arrested. He received a "citation." Amazing how this innocent kid keeps getting in trouble. Somebody must really have it in for him. Read how unfair life has been for him on the Timeline link here...And that Resume page will surely impress lots of employers once he flames out at Ole Miss.

Good luck Rebels....

See

Sad State of Affairs...

--This is what you get when every fool with a dick starts a blog. Watered down crap like this...Make sure to click on the link from the dork in Texas, so you can read the junior-high newspaper editorial he wrote to start this 'furor.'

And if you have 15 minutes to waste, here's a 'professional' contribution.

PYB feels a huge meltdown coming in October...

--The fact that Dez Bryant's mom may have been a whore won't impact whether he'll be a successful NFL player, but the the fact that he is this naive and self-absorbed is a HUGE red flag. If the antics of Lebron James wasn't the sign of the Apocalypse in sports, the fact that a rookie (who hasn't played a game in almost a year) won't carry a veteran's gear to the locker room certainly is.

This fucking idiot doesn't realize he is lucky to be cashing in millions of dollars, despite the fact that he fucked up his college career at Oklahoma State. It's doubtful that he even realizes that on other teams he would likely take a big beatdown. Stay tuned. This is going to end badly---that's a guarantee here at PYB.

--So maybe this is too easy, but finally Dennis Green's son has joined the fans of his father's teams on suicide watch.

--Could the 'Skins be a QB away from making noise in the NFL East?

Still Doin' It

One more meaningless poll to start the weekend. One which exposes the lack of knowledge of most Nebraska fans. Mike Brown is the runaway leader, and rightfully so. But the fact that Barron Miles only has six votes is criminal....fewer votes than Mr. Missed Tackle, Josh Bullocks.

Oh well, Husker fans still haven't realized jean shorts are out of style, we can't expect them to know the difference between a player who is all name and one who constantly helped win games by making plays. Watch the videos, and you can see Miles was up to his old tricks all the way up to his CFL retirement this spring. Also good to see Michael Bishop hasn't stopped throwing picks since his Big 12 championship game meltdown against Texas A&M....

The Queen's Bitch

Amen. Thanks to Mr. Wojnarowski for saving PYB 40 minutes' worth of typing about Chris Paul's ridiculous trade demand....

Let's Play....

Who's the idiot here...Is it:

a) the Big 12 media, who voted Mike McNeill as preseason all-conference tight end? The same McNeill who was rarely a factor last season and who caught all of 28 balls last year AND who "switched to wide receiver" in the offseason.

-OR-

b) PYB's favorite offensive coordinator, Shawn Watson, who has proven he is completely inept at highlighting his players' strengths? (McNeill being Exhibit A, Cody Green being Exhibit B and Roy Helu on the verge of becoming Exhibit C. PYB has a sneaking feeling Watson will ride the Holiday Bowl momentum of overplaying Rex Burkhead to please all the racist Nebraska fans pining for the Great White Hype).

Well, as mentioned yesterday, this was another completely meaningless poll. Point proven by the media not doing enough research to even know what position McNeill plays.

And to even it out, something that is not meaningless or pointless....

Vegas Calling

What a waste of space....Bettors can't even rely on a team's performance from the week prior in this day and age, but we're supposed to use last year's records to predict 2010's results----for over/unders? Please.

And since when did huskerpedia.com become a Vegas sounding board? Stick to what you're good at--posting everyone overdone feature story, dorky poll and grabass ranking of some obscure NU football category from the last 30 years....

Like this....and this....Dude, nobody knows who you are and nobody cares about the Big 12 preseason poll, or your vote in that poll. Let's wait until the games start and watch them, rather than drooling over every word that every fool with a laptop types in July.....except PYB, of course...

Or this........Or this....Or finally this (where Prince Amukamara is listed as a top-12 player in the Big 12 but was third-best CB on his team last year. OK.).

And finally, on an unrelated note---cool concept, but no carts? No carts = no booze sales = financial trouble from day one.

This Is How They Do....

Thanks to Juice for the pictorial from Camden, NJ, where fans dust off their best (or worst) NFL jerseys for the Dave Matthews concerts at the Susquehanna Bank Center. Not sure what the hell Juice was doing in fucking Camden, or why he'd subject himself to even one, much less two, DMB concerts.

Doing My Best to Be a Better Person, Yes...or Not

Patented swim move (couldn't be me that missed that putt), followed by a fuck-laced meltdown. Poor Tiger. That junk Nike putter couldn't save him, and he is still a spoiled baby.

-A random entry from the "This Makes Us Feel Old Department."

-"Can you hold Charlie, I've got a set of whitewalls on the other line." Click.

-No comment.

-And we thought DWade was smarter than Lebron. We were wrong.

Canadian-Cock

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Weekend Recap

Good column from the Arizona Republic, a rarity...

So with Tiger Woods standing 71st out of 77 in putting at the British Open, PYB assumes that the grooves on his new Nike putter didn't make the 'huge difference' that analysts had predicted on Thursday? 32-32-35 going into Sunday. That's mediocre for an amateur. The dorks at The Oven better get working to improve their junk equipment.

Curse of the British Open strikes again. Leave it to "The Open Championship", as American ass kissers (same dickheads that use all the Euro terms during the Ryder Cup) like to call it, to burn us once again. Due to the nature of the courses and weather, it's the most finicky of majors.

Put Sunday plans off to the side to watch the final round, and Louis Oosthuizen is rolling with a five-shot lead. It's bound to happen. There is no drama, no tension. Much like the US Open this year at Pebble Beach. Make plans instead of watching, and a Van de Veldian meltdown is bound to occur. Guess we'll have to settle for watching Englishman Paul Casey staining his fagoty white pants as he pisses his chances down his leg.

Should have gone golfing or gone to the gym, or gotten blasted last night.....Anyway, HDTV gave us several up-close revelations:

1. Tiger Woods has a dead front tooth. Obviously, Elin did make contact last November.
2. The St. Andrews greens were shaggy as a Phoenix muni in July.
3. Sean McDonough does a good job, but his energetic delivery is not fitting for the depressing Scottish vistas. PYB keeps expecting to hear: "Wuerrfel over the middlllllee...CAUGHT!!! Reidel Anthony! -OR- "Tyrod Taylor deep....CAUGHT!!!!! O'Hanlon blows the game!!!
4. Finally, Paul Casey wasn't the only one pissing at the Open....

Retraction....We Fucked Up...

Now they didn't mean it. As bad as the first Boulder-esque promo looked, reversing course looks worse. It means either you're too scared to back up the "Beat Texas" mantra three months from tomorrow, or you have a bunch of rookie fuckwads (Thanks, Roger Dorn) running the marketing operations in Lincoln. Not that this should surprise us, given the fact that the Husker logo is 20 years out of date and still being used and that Lil' Red is their go-to mascot and crowd entertainer at athletic events. We'll leave out the part about NU having the worst apparel in the nation for a major athletic department. Just sad.

And another one from the Department of Redundancy Department.

And of course Dan Alexander was hurt when they fired the Rat. The Rat gave him playing time he didn't deserve over Correll Buckhalter (still in the NFL) and Dahrran Diedrick. Kept playing him when he couldn't get the tough yards, kept playing him when he was too un-nimble to turn the corner over the span of a 30-yard run, kept playing him when he tried to fumble games away (at Boulder). When you have a coach who is too overwhelmed with choosing whether to call option left or right to bench you, of course you love him.

Good luck to Ryan Anderson and Sek Henry as they try to make it in the Euro leagues. PYB has some advice for each: Ryan, shooting better than 1/5 from three will help your chances of making a team. Sek, if you can improve on your 2-for-10 shooting and four turnovers, your chances will also increase...

Finally, can't they just make Darin Erstad head coach? Could it be any worse? Can it get any worse than consecutive last-place Big 12 finishes?

Mike Brown

After a 10 year break of defensive backfield talent in Lincoln, there are some finally playmakers again in Gomes, Dennard, Amukamara & Hagg. Here's a Huskerpedia link with one of the original's highlights.

Still Wondering...

Why would NU stoop to Colorado/K-State-type shenanigans for one game? NU let Texas get in its head from Day One of the Big 12 conference. In some of the Longhorn losses, NU was the better team. In most of them, they outplayed UT only to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Not sure why there is so much venom out of Lincoln, when the real culprit has been dressed in red. Let's review the wins that were pissed away:

1996--Blown defensive assignments, sloppy play, flu bug kill the Huskers
1998--Frank Solich crashes the bus as Ricky Williams mauls NU
1999--Correll Buckhalter fumbles at the goal line. NU coughs it up five times, loses 3.
1999, part II--NU wins with defense, 22-6, and overcomes Rat Solich's ineptitude
2002--Rat Solich has Jammal Lord force one more pass to the end zone instead of kicking the tying FG. Game-losing INT ensues.
2003--Bottle blasted in Austin due to shitty team and coach
2006--Bill Callahan pulls a Solich and goes for it on 4th down. Could have punted and made Cunt McCoy go 85 yards into the wind with little time left. Nope.
2007--Cosgrove's defense folds late. Loses another game for NU.
2009--Kunalic blows the last kickoff. Game over.

In five of these nine matchups, NU was the higher rated team. In all but one of the games, NU played better. The chokes have been numerous. Until NU treats it like another game (Bo Pelini's mantra), the meltdowns will continue. Texas is the biggest bunch of underachievers in the last 30 years. NU treats the Horns like they're the best team in NCAA history. Sad.

UNL-Boulder??

Since when did Nebraska become Colorado? Targeting one game on the schedule? What an absolute fucking embarrassment to the program, the university and its fans. NU is supposedly about one game at a time, tradition, and major accomplishments (national titles and bowl wins)...not one, regular-season game against Texas. Let's not forget that the Cornhuskers have found ways to blow at least four games against the Longhorns. As soft as Texas is, they're still one of the most athletic teams around. Giving them the motivation they often lack is the last thing one should do. Good job to whoever fucked this up....

Speaking of fuckups, was anyone else surprised at the latest round of inductees to the Nebraska Football Hall of Fame? Since when did the criteria read: "Had a slightly above average career during an era when the team was Top 5 in the nation OR has been gone so long that we remember him fondly but forget how little impact he really had."?

-Dan Alexander: Helped fumble away several NU victories and nearly another one against Colorado in Boulder. Racked up some big yardage games, but lack of moves and balance proved him ineffective against real teams. Often fell over when anyone nipped his ankles. Unfortunately for Alexander, once he did get rolling, Frank Solich would take him out of the game. (See at KSU during the snow game)

-Carlos Polk: PYB loves Polk, but since when did being a kick coverage standout for three seasons make one HOF material? Averaged around seven tackles a game his last two seasons. Nice career, absolutely. HOF? Marginal at best. The fact that he played eight seasons in the NFL could move the needle here.

-Todd Millikan: What are we missing? 40 career catches. The press release mentions a shoulder injury, a couple other injuries, a couple TDs, and he played in some bowl games. Sweet. Everyone gets a ribbon!!

And on an unrelated note, it's glad to see the Mayor selling out for talent, justifying his complete disregard of character to try for some wins. "Accountability, easy to talk to......." Whatever. This kid will be gone within a year after he bangs some Ames co-ed against her will or steals the car that daddy bought her for college. Stay tuned.

Pic of the Day...The House that Donovan Built...

Thanks to Catfish for this reader submission from Philly....

Other miscellany while catching up from vacation:

1. Like dorky father, like son. Davis Love's spawn...

2. One of PYB's high-school cohorts makes thedirty.com. Too bad it's with this troll....

3. Shout out to PYB's namesake...fifth quote from the bottom. Click on the WAV file...

4. Twenty five years of buffoonery rewarded for Chris Berman. Will they mention how he ruined the first two days of the 2010 US Open during his induction?

Queen James...aka the Cowardly Cavalier...

Good takes here, courtesy of Rolling Stone. PYB, thank god, missed all the bullshit "Decision" and propaganda shows the past week during vacation, but we'll have more later. Of course, all we know is what you know. Lebron James is a fucking coward who couldn't lead his team to the promised land and wasn't willing to take any more scrutiny as he tried. Any future titles will have multiple asterisks behind them. He will never be mentioned in the same breath as Jordan, Bird, Magic, Olajuwon, Bryant, or even Kenny Fucking Smith! Have fun being ESPN's puppet. We will all have fun enjoying the "Greatest Trio Ever" this fall as they try to make their third NBA finals combined.

Once they ruin NCAA basketball's tournament and NCAA football with a playoff, the masterpiece will be complete--all of sports will be ruined.

And then there is this gem. Let us answer the questions posed by this genius:
1. Zero titles (Thanks to MJ, a true champion)
2. Zero titles

So, to make a long story short, the Cadavers were ringless before AND after the Queen's reign. They're not Detroit in more than one way...

Stoudemire Bitching Out...

If Amare Stoudemire thought he had it rough in PHX (crying about lack of respect, etc.), wait until he gets to the Big Apple. NY Knick fans will soon tire of his horrible defense, poor rebounding, and complete lack of basketball IQ.

PYB finds it very ironic that as Stoudemire runs for the hills, he is soon forgetting that he ran Knick coach Mike D'Antoni out of the desert after he insisted Stoudemire become better defensively. Run to the path of least resistance, Stat, that's what losers do. At least you won't have to have your ass handed to you by Pau Gasol in the 2011 playoffs.

The fact that Phoenix would replace Stoudemire with Hakim Warrick, who averaged nine points and four rebounds last season, speaks volumes. STAT's stats were padded by playing in a free-flowing system with Steve Nash at the helm. He might get a lot of points as a Brick, but we'll see how losing 50 games a year treats his soft ego. Ask Shawn Marion how his move worked out.

Longhorn Soft

Good month for the Longhorns. Pussies to the core...

1. Chrissy Simms. Can't throw. Can't lie to cops either.
2. Benson. Studio Gangsta!
3. Vince Young. Bitch. Momma couldn't save him this time.