Past Yo' Bedtime

Border War

2012-02-07T03:52:00.001-08:00

This past week brought nothing good in the way of sports. Nebraska's basketball lost two winnable games, and its only center is likely out for the year. The New York Giants 'won' the Super Bowl, as the NFL somehow arranged for both Tom Brady AND Aaron Rodgers to tank wide-open game-winning passes when they hadn't missed a throw all season. But PYB watched a decent Kansas at Missouri basketball game Saturday night. A game that may be the last in the hate-filled Border War. If you don't believe us, watch this clip, perhaps the best things we've seen in months and certainly the best we saw last week.

And, as a bonus, at the end of our research for this entry we found this link of the Top 10 College Basketball Fights. Yes! We've got something to do this morning at work!

After watching, we question the depth of research that went into this column. PYB remembers several college brawls over the years with chairs flying. And we still contend that AI and Victor Page must sit at home at shake their heads (STDHs)when watching Georgetown get roughed up by the Chinese. Miiiiister Booooowwweerrr...!

And a couple more we found independently....

Wyoming vs. UTEP

Some good ole' scum fightin' in Illinois high school action...

And we top that off with some good ole' hillbilly fightin'...Watch for Jethro in the leopard-pattern shirt and see if you can count how many concert tee shirts you see amongst the crowd....

Sadly, we could not find footage of the king of all brawls, North Carolina A&T vs. North Carolina Central from 1990.

Josh Hamilton in Dirty North Dallas...Encore!

2012-02-04T04:21:00.000-08:00

PYB thought it only fitting to do the inevitable follow up from its first-ever post....the one showing Josh Hamilton allowing some Tempe trolls to take body shots off his rock...hard....abs.

This video shows the details of his relapse from Monday night, courtesy of WFAA in Dallas. Details none of the national outlets had published as of Friday evening. Father of four...sounds like a great one....check the 1:10 mark.

We personally enjoy the headline that says, with horror, "Josh Hamilton Drinking Two Weeks before Spring Training." Real men do it an hour before the game and wait for their drugs outside the arena in their Boston Celtics warmups. Ask Chris Herren.

Error, Bo Pinelli! Error!

2012-02-02T03:36:00.001-08:00

PYB follows up national signing day in college football with a variety of topics:

--Bo Pinelli admitted yesterday that they quit recruiting Texas as hard once they moved to the rusty Big 10. He bordered on calling it a mistake. Idiotic move, to be sure. Who would think it's prudent to quit recruiting one of the top three talent-rich states in the Union just because you're moving to a slow, past-its-prime conference? We think it would provide your team an advantage, regardless of the premise of Mitch Sherman's pointless, convoluted column yesterday on ESPN's website.

NU seems to have corraled a solid class, even though its bipolar ways continued. Heavy on a couple positions one year, don't recruit any of that position the next. However, NU signed one player in the Dallas Top 100 and wasn't close to any others. NU signed one of the Texas Top 100. And it was only in running for one of the nation's Top 100, before whiffing on Andrus Peat, who opted to play for a team that will go 6-6 the next four seasons. Do sociology degrees from Stanford pull as much weight as its real degrees?

Pelini stopped short of making excuses for his oversight, but as always, hinted strongly that factors beyond his control (just like referees causing his 15-minute in-game tirades) hurt the Huskers' effort. This time, it was Lincoln's location. Apparently, Pinelli didn't have access to a map when signing his $3 million contract. Funny, we never heard Tom Osborne cry about logistics.

Funny, we also don't know of any airlines rushing to establish hubs in Eugene, Ore., Tuscaloosa, Ala., Baton Rouge, La., Oklahoma City, Columbia, Mo., or Boise, Id. Just to make it easy...we know American has flights directly from Dallas to Omaha and Grand Island. And Southwest has connecting flight through STL and DEN.

Good news, though. NU concentrated more on Ohio in an effort to lap up Ohio State and Bitchigan's sloppy seconds. Yay Cardinal Mooney! We'd have hated to see the team concentrate on DFW, considering its ONLY remaining impact player hails from the Dallas area.

--Speaking of Cardinal Mooney, Pinelli said Mooney Alum Braylon Heard may switch to cornerback. Rumor has it that any switch will be of the permanent, one-game variety. Fuck off.

--Speaking of nepotism, Nebraska fended off the Ohio Bobcats and somehow hoodwinked legions of other suitors and got another Cotton stiff to put his name on the dotted line. What a joke. The two most notable Cotton contributions, as a family, to NU football: consistently inconsistent (closer to bad) offensive lines and a nut sack fondling on national television.

--NU also outdueled Notre Dame for Jordan Westerkamp, the 'most prolific' receiver in Illinois high-school history. Why the fuck does NU need another receiver to underutilize? It doesn't have a quarterback! But, per this article, Tim Beck is telling kids NU will be throwing the ball more. As always, logic and planning are secondary in the Pelini Process. We're fine.

--We enjoyed the Omaha World Herald's coverage of the day, but thought it funny that the 'news outlet' referred only to the 247 rankings when discussing Nebraska's national spot, and omitted competitors' data entirely. (Rivals). Fair & impartial....unless it involves a business venture.

--Ladies and gentlemen, national signing day's version of the NIT Selection Show! How many future, overwhelmed starters and Academic All-Big 10 players will NU glean from this bunch???

--By the way, NU announced its on probation for a books snafu. Does this mean it will get two coaching staffs next year? Or is that bylaw only applicable in Columbus?

--On to rosier topics: apparently PYB is not alone in its desire to have the Super Bowl played on Saturday. We'd like to enjoy a few beers for this game and not have to rush home and go to sleep in preparation for another depressing day at work. Is it that foreign of a concept? Oh wait, this article says all those pre-game parties would be affected.....OK. The only folks attending are coked-up B-listers or people so rich that they can change their travel schedules on a whim....or star-chasing sluts who will be there regardless of date/time/location.

--Erick Strickland wants to coach at Nebraska someday. No brainer. Do it mid-season. Played in the NBA. Banged lots of bitches. Nebraska native. Once laid his dong on a dissecting tray in biology class at Bellevue West. Perfect fit. Along with Dirty Dick Strick, try to get Tyronn Lue involved in some fashion and see where it goes. They have to have more game than current assistant David Anwar and his Hitler/Jordan mustache. Just make sure to get Strickland before he works for Isiah Thomas and his basketball IQ is permanently deleted.

--Speaking of Nebraska basketball, Ken Sadler and his team have a game tonight at Northwestern. The Wildcats, with two regulars listed as questionable, are a seven-point favorite. NU has been competitive on the road all year. Bet at your own peril. Northwestern runs the Princeton offense. Nebraska has one good offensive player. Watch at your own peril.

--LeQueen James had 24 points last night at Milwaukee---in the first quarter. And his team lost. As expected, her highness went cold in the second half. The game highlights were even complete with an overhyped one-handed power dunk from James.

Kenny Smith, as we type, is on NBA Game Time and making excuses for Miami, saying that it's hard for teams to get excited to play in cities without a "vibrant" atmosphere. Just say it Kenny, too many white people and not enough clubs with VIP bottle service for the pampered NBA babies...since the only two cities he cited were Minneapolis and Milwaukee.

--And we'll end with a couple links that expound on the ridiculousness of the NBA, courtesy of the great Bill Simmons. PYB no longer reads his entries on a regular basis but, as long as they don't cover the Red Sox or Patriots, they're always great. Any time someone mentions Baron Davis's love handles, it's a solid day.

@brich88 #fromwaydowntownbang

2012-01-27T12:59:00.000-08:00

Nebraska traveled to Iowa City last night and beat a team that is currently its peer in the middle-to-bottom of the Big 10. We say currently, because as Ken Sadler keeps whiffing on the little in-state talent Nebraska does have, Iowa has raked in its share of talented, local recruits.

Nonetheless, NU beat the Hawkeyes on this night where it matters most, in a surprisingly entertaining 79-73 game. PYB made its first wise call in a couple weeks by trusting our instincts and not betting the game with Iowa -4.5. (We also ignored 'advisors' who told us North Carolina, the Nebraska/Iowa overs and Hawaii were golden and missed out on a 3-0 night..but we digress.)

During pre-game research, we were a bit surprised to see just how competitive the Huskers had been (relatively, of course) on the road, away from the 5,000 basketball dullards that help half-fill the Devaney Center and create one of the lamest environments in major college basketball. Outside of the bottle blasting NU took in Columbus against the Suckeyes, the rest of the road slate went as follows: win at USC (sure they suck but it's a road win and it's NU), 10-point, competitive loss to 15th-ranked Creighton, win at TCU, near miss at previously-ranked Illinois, near miss at Wisconsin.

Now add a six-point win at Iowa. For a team that's struggled as mightily as Nebraska and trailed by nine early in the game, that's huge and we'll take it. Baby steps. So, as we move on, Sadler & company have a chance to win their next six games. Not all of them, but they could win any of them. Three wins in that stretch would be commendable and would keep NU out of the conference cellar--always a good thing---especially for a coach hoping to keep his job a while longer.

Some notes:

--PYB favorite Brandon Richardson led the way with 25 points and six three-pointers. He looked confident shooting from outside Thursday, as he does once a season. Something tells us that the right coach could have made a monster out of Richardson, who seems too passive most nights despite his consistently good defensive play. He's kept his mouth shut, worked hard and stuck it out through five tough years in Lincoln. Hopefully, he can finish his last season with a flourish.

--Bo Spencer chipped in 16 points, which is noteworthy considering that he spent half his time on the offensive end dribbling up, over and around double teams from Iowa's Nazi-esque, skinheaded forwards. It's a shame Spencer can't play with some better talent so we can see his full capabilities. He's the best scorer NU has had since Tyronn Lue. No question.

--George Diaz continued cementing his place as one of the biggest pussies in NU hoops history. PYB will take it a bit easy on him, as we don't know how bad his feet really are. But, at this point, we're not even sure he can jump and his two rebounds aren't enough either way. A strong, healthy & aggressive (oxymoron, we know) Diaz should have had 15 and 10 minimum, last night. Amazingly, the team said the game turned when Nebraska started putting the ball inside to he post. No shit?!

With that said, NU is off for a week until they travel to Northwestern Thursday to avenge that nasty football loss in Lincoln. Can't wait!

Finally, off topic, PYB would like to take this time to honor a former classmate & teammate who was killed in a car accident two days ago on his way to work as a Lincoln police officr. He was a great guy, much better than we are---and it's a tragic end to a too-short life. RIP Tony.

Fading Into Bolivion...

2012-01-22T05:44:00.000-08:00

The Dallas Morning News published an updated version of this list today, featuring the Top 100 recruits in the DFW Metroplex. Nebraska has ZERO commits and just two who are considering them along with a host of other schools. Not good.

We can feel the team getting slower as we type. Hopefully, the Loomis pipeline keeps funneling in Lance Thorells for DB prospects....

Follow the Yellow Brick Road...

2012-01-22T04:26:00.000-08:00

Nebraska basketball fans are stupid. So are their football fans, but that's another story for another time. Somehow, farmers in Indiana and Iowa can grasp the concepts of James Naismith's game, but the rubes in Nebraska cannot.

PYB says this not because we hate so-called NU basketball fans (well, we hate a lot of them), but because we have to hear the same song and dance from them every season. After not doing their part for nearly 15 years by supporting their team, they show up in volume a game or so AFTER their 'beloved' Huskers beat a rated team. Only problem being it is usually against a more highly rated team (Kansas) that has NU physically outmatched--by a long shot. Then, after the inevitable blowout, they give up on the team for the rest of the year and don't show up for home games where Ken Sadler's squad has a chance to win and needs their support the most. Loud crowd ain't turning a 34-point loss into a win, but it will turn a six-point loss into a win.

Such was the case Saturday night against Ohio State, as the Suckeyes were vastly superior at every position on the floor and three spots into the bench. Bo Spencer would be the only NU player who would play for Thad Matta's squad. Any semi-savvy basketball fan could tell this because Nebraska was rarely able to get into its half-court offense. Buckeye guards continually blocked shots by NU guards and forwards with ease.

Nebraska would not win this game if they played it 1000 times in Lincoln. Basketball is all about matchups, and this one is horrible for Nebraska. So, NU fans showed their lack of knowledge by acting horrified about the 34-point loss. It was inevitable. Sit back, bet big on the Buckeyes, rake in your dough and enjoy it. Bobby Knight would. Oh wait, gambling is illegal--Nebraskans wouldn't do that.

A 15-point loss wouldn't have been any better. Wouldn't have mattered. What does matter is that NU has a chance to win its next seven games and needs to win three of them--at least. Their roster is devoid of talent, and blowouts will happen. Get over it.

What also matters is that Sadler doesn't have a point guard for next year. In fact, he has nothing at all except two big men who can score 15 against bad teams but only score four points against most good teams. George Diaz is a pussy and is pushed around every game. Doc will have to sign a difference-maker in his next class, or he'll be gone. As much as we like him, that's just the fact of the matter.

PYB thinks that maybe Doc just isn't cut out to be a head coach at this level of Division I, just like Dana Altman wasn't. But it's obvious he can teach defense and is a good X and O guy and may be cut out to be a top-notch assistant at a great program. We won't be surprised to see him racking up NCAA tournament trips after NU inevitably dumps him for another underwhelming hire.

The only other path would be to go with a big name, if you could get any big name to come to Lincoln. It would have to be a coach who can push the limits of the NCAA rules to get guys to come in from basketball talent hotbeds. We say push the envelope, because unless your Ohio State, USC or John Calipari you can't outright cheat. The new facilities will give someone that chance. But it's no layup.

There is literally ZERO talent base at the Nebraska high-school level. The state hasn't produced a legitimate Division-I prospect for 20 years. What about Mike Gesell, in Sioux City, you say? Well, he scores a lot of points, but his team is 9-5 and just lost to another Class B team last nite. Any top-notch Division I recruit can carry a Class A team to a state championship or close to it. Losing to Beatrice?? Doesn't happen if you're a true next-level guy. That's a fact.

So, as we move from here, PYB waits for NU to drop two more home games it should win. Partly because the team isn't very good and doesn't play to its limited potential. But moreso because 6,400 fans show up and sit on their hands and grumble rather than just making the best of the current situation, being loud and helping its team to a victory. How about putting on a good face for potential future recruits? Guarantee that they notice the moribund environment at most games.

Guarantee they notice the nerd-ridden student section. Seriously....the section has BOTH a douche thats wraps himself in a Snuggie and thinks it's cool AND a guy who dresses up like the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. For lack of better insight, what the fuck??? And Associate AD Marc Boehm says this will intimidate other teams at the new arena. We're sure Tom Izzo is shaking in his boots.

Sadly, the basketball team's current situation is just part of a larger problem within the athletic ranks at NU. Its teams' competitiveness is at an all-time low across the board. Football sucks, basketball sucks, baseball sucks......even volleyball sucks in relative terms.

We're SURE you noticed how NU fans have started 'following' wrestling more closely, since the team is actually rated. That increased coverage in the OWH.....no coincedence. Nebraska fans want a winner, but they don't want to work for it. It's the new American way. Just ask any new-age athlete. Or any illegal immigrant using your tax dollars while sitting in the emergency room waiting to pop out her fourth illegitimate kid.....

Talk about another story for another day.....

--PYB

Nebraska...The Slipper Still Fits

2012-01-20T04:24:00.000-08:00

Going into Wednesday evening's game against Indiana, PYB thought the best reason to watch the game was the fact that a pair of Johnsons -- Gus and Eddie -- was announcing the game. Gus, of Rise & Fire fame, is the better known of the announcing pair. Eddie has been a longtime Phoenix Suns analyst and is certainly the more underrated of the two. "No doubt about it...."

Throughout the first half, we were impressed with NU's effort and were surprised that the talent difference didn't seem to be outrageously different. IU was much more solid fundamentally and shot the ball much better, but at least George Diaz wasn't getting dunked on and getting smacked in the face with the other guy's nut sack....."Puuure!"

Cracks soon developed, though, as NU couldn't penetrate the Hoosier defense and lived up to its reputation as the worst half-finishing team in college basketball history. As usual, the Huskers wasted 17 minutes of solid play and turned a two-point deficit into a seven-point gap at the break. "Bang!"

After another deflating first-half finish, NU started the second stanza with zero attitude and energy and promptly fell behind by 13 points when Cody Zeller dunked to make it 49-36. Another big loss with an early exiting crowd was in store. Eddie Johnson was mystified by the Huskers' lack of fire -- "No Doubt About It..."

So PYB kept watching while surfing the internet and watching the Twitter folks throw dirt on the Huskers' grave. Somehow, the lead dwindled. Somehow, Nebraska got within striking distance. Somehow, Nebraska won. "What a game!"

In our eyes, IU's main advantage over NU was Zeller and its better outside shooting. The Hoosiers forgot to keep Zeller involved, which took away outside opportunities. Simple game. Apparently hard lessons to remember. "Ballgame!"

Nebraska hit 10 of 30 threes, including two timely/lucky ones by Butterfingers Toney McCray. They shot 38% for the game. Somehow Bo Spencer ground his way to 23 points despite being Nebraska's only legitimate scoring threat. Dylan Talley and Brandon Richardson each made huge defensive plays late. But, they turned it over just 11 times, played hard defense and gave themsevles a chance to win. That's all you can ask from a team devoid of talent. "There's no doubt about it."

Ken Sadler looked both happy and relieved after the win, even taking the time to mosh around with the nerd-laded NU student section. (Click here for Exhibit A) In pure Lincoln fashion, the song of choice was several years out of date. A fun moment, nonetheless.

The win was 'huge' in relative terms. Ken and Co. are still 2-5 in Big 10 play. But, after they take a sure bottle-blasting against Ohio State this weekend, NU has at least a chance in its next seven games. A win against the Suckeyes ain't happening. The Huskers have nobody to control a player as strong as Jared Sullinger..."Here comes the All-America!"

They're outmatched everywhere else too. But -- if NU can win three or four of the next seven, that's at least respectable and would be a success for this team. "There's no doubt about it."

So in the moribund state of NU hoops, the program owns bragging rights for a year over a storied Indiana program and the Ghost of Larry Bird.......Maybe!?

Big Red is Big Blue

2012-01-17T04:00:00.001-08:00

We are sure you've read this already. We're speechless. The Rat wants a medal for ruining the Husker program for 15 seasons and counting. Apparently, some have forgotten what a truly awful coach he was on all levels. Watch the game tapes. Take a look at his recruiting classes. It's embarrasing. For a refresher course, watch the fourth quarter of this year's MAC Championship game. Panic and butchered clock management at its worst. Pure Solich.

So, this is what NU has come to. Figurehead Tom Osborne clamoring to honor the biggest mistake in school history. Keep in mind that Rat Solich was TO's hand-picked successor. Bad hire. Everyone makes them. Apparently, Osborne has not learned from this mistake and was doomed to repeat it.

Now, the new 'source of pride' in Lincoln is how many Academic All-Americans the team spits out. Sure, that was a nice talking point when the team was actually good. Now, poster boys like Austin Cassidy also get undeserved starting spots and lose the team games.

Is anyone in charge capable, or lucid, enough to turn the ship around? From what we've seen, very doubtful indeed. But give Frankie his medal.....his tenure alone earned him accolades as a Nebraska hero....just like it does at every floundering, antiquated corporation across America. In the meantime, we'll watch the schools where merit is rewarded rack up the titles. Nebraska = IBM. Oregon = Apple.

VoTD

2012-01-15T12:36:00.000-08:00

PYB can't decide if this is more ridiculous, funny or awesome??

Lock it Down

2012-01-12T05:21:00.000-08:00

--Ken Sadler and Co. grabbed their first Big 10 basketball win in history by beating Penn State handily, in a sloppy-but-effective 70-58 win. The Nittany Lions had one player in double figures (Tim Frazier with 30) and the rest put on one of the worst shooting displays PYB has ever seen in 30 years of watching college hoops. As a Nebraska fan, that says a lot.

PSU shot .333 from the field (20/60) and an amazing .125 (3/24) from three-point range. Sure, we've seen cold-shooting nights, but these shots weren't close. They weren't in & out. They weren't misfortune. They were off from the point of release. They were bad.

So, for one night, NU got to look like Tony Delk and a mid-1990s Kentucky team in comparison and locked down their first B10 win. They were more athletic. They were better. They covered the five points. Everyone went home happy. Now, go have fun on Sunday playing at Wisconsin, a team who bottle blasted the Huskers 64-40 two weeks ago.

We'll revel in the win for a few hours more, though, as NU put four player into double figures--led by Bo Spencer's 19 points and five assists. His six turnovers were way too many, but given how much he has to do for the offense that's collateral damage. Toney McCray, Dylan Talley and Caleb Walker also cracked double figures, and George Diaz manned up enough to pussyfoot around the Devaney Center floor for four points and five rebounds in 27 minutes.

NU shot over .500 from the field for the second straight game, and if they can sustain the effort and avoid more injuries, there are a few potential wins left. We count 10 possibly winnable games. Eight realistically winnable games. Not good, but not as disastrous as it looked two days back.

--It was fun watching Northwestern lose to Michigan on BTN just before the NU-PSU game. Danny Crawford's (longtime NBA ref for you racists in NE that don't follow the League) son Drew got jobbed on a no-call on a play at the end of regulation where he was clearly fouled twice. Possibly, this was payback for all the money he's cost Wednesday night's zebras on NBA games over the years with his trumped-up calls. Just a theory. Crawford still racked up 20 points, while Tim Hardaway Jr. two-stepped his way to 19 points and five threes for 13th-rated Bitchigan.

--As some things change, more stay the same. LeQueen James helps tank another game, this time a meaningless regular-season tilt vs. the LA Clippers, by missing free throws and leading his team's game-ending scoring drought. Miami didn't score a field goal in the last 12+ minutes of regulation. Heat lose, 95-89. An icon, indeed.

All for now. PYB.

Strike Four

2012-01-09T05:33:00.000-08:00

We'll keep this short and to the point, because a loss is a loss and Nebraska is still 0-4 to start its inaugural Big 10 season. However, in a downright ugly game, NU gained a spark from the surprise return from Dylan Talley and JB Diaz and nearly pulled off an upset before falling 59-54 to Illinois.

PYB only wishes the Omaha World Herald had the inside scoop on the two players' returns, so we could have adjusted our wagers accordingly. In the first half, Ken Sadler's squad couldn't even make a simple entry pass without turning the ball over. Still, they fought back and had the ball with the game tied at 54. Sadler had a great play set, even though Talley screwed up the rhythm by waving off point man Brandon Richardson until the shot clock was at 10.

Still, Richardson found a crease but rushed a bounce pass to a cutting Bo Spencer who couldn't contain the ball before it slipped out of bounds. On the next possession, with the game still tied at 54, Sadler had another great play set as Spencer ran the baseline past three picks. In succession, Talley, Diaz and Toney "Butterfingers" McCray did their best Austin Cassidys and whiffed on the picks. Spencer's defended was never deterred and altered his desperation three-point heave.

Game still not over....as McCray drew a charge on a made bucket and had the chance to tie the game at 56. But...as we've come to expect...McCray looked more nervous than a whore at church and missed both free-throw attempts badly. Then, Richardson commits intentional foul on the pending fast break. Game finally over.

Oh well, we all expected a loss. At least NU showed some fight. First chance for a conference win comes Wednesday in Lincoln against Penn State. Let's hope NU doesn't come out flat and that the Nittany Lion players aren't wearing Sandusky Snuggies on the bench.

All for now....we'll check back when the point spread is published....and finish by saying that 20 turnovers will never get it done on the road, especially when your team can't score. Either will a 1:2.5 assist-to-turnover ratio.

PS--Steve Stricker about to win another golf tournament. He's awesome when there's nothing on the line. Put him in a major, and he's more nervous on the tee than Toney McCray on the free throw line...

PPS--BCS title game tonite....Boring.

Saturday Slew

2012-01-07T07:17:00.000-08:00

--Thanks to Deadspin for posting this gem and saving us the work. Still, a classic. I bet I do.... Most impressive--$30 fucking million a year for the Jim Rome radio show. Even better that he's leaving ESPN. PYB certainly hopes the new CBS Sports Network turns out to be legit. Looks like Tony Barnhart has a show, however, and that can't help any network's credibility.

--Cubs suck. They're awful. And their only good player is being investigated for Roethlisbergering some chick. Go Cubs Go.

--Pitt and SMU get it on today in Birmingham, Ala., in some college football bowl game. Can't wait.

--Wild Card Weekend starts today in the NFL. Our picks: Cincinnati, New Orleans, New York Giants, Pittsburgh (barely). Our best bet would be a 10-point teaser with Cincy +14, New Orleans at a pick, and Denver +19 against a banged up Rape Curtain team.

--Nebraska +10 at Illinois today. Certain PYB sources like NU in this one, claiming the Illini's guards suck and will be looking ahead to a Tuesday matchup against Ohio State. We don't care and expect Doc's squad may just quit--his excuses are getting very tired very quickly. Injuries have depleted an already bad Husker squad, and they have no size. Hammer Illinois. Nebraska is giving minutes to Mike Fox, after all.

Even funnier is that the Omaha World Herald wrote about Fox's 'brush with fame' because he got to guard Jared Sullinger. Is this what constitutes 'fame' these days? Guarding a decent college player who only gets his accolades because the entire sport is watered down? The guy will be a marginal NBA player, at best. Telling times. We'd take Andrew Fox over Mike any day.

Poppy-Cock

2012-01-04T18:24:00.000-08:00

After sitting through another brutal Nebraska football performance Monday during the Capital One Bowl, PYB has chewed on how to put this story on wax. What to cover, what to bitch about. On a macro level, so much of it will be repeats of repeats from the last two seasons. On a micro level, there were so many embarrassing fuckups during the game itself, and so little time to cover them all. So we'll just forge ahead and rant as we see fit. Regardless of the path we take, just be aware that Parental Discretion Iz Advised....

What we took away from another meltdown that looked so much like many before, was that anyone concerned for the Nebraska program's long-term success should be happy the Cornhuskers lost. Not happy, obviously, as a proud fan and a competitor. But happy, so that we didn't have to sit through an off-season claiming that NU had beaten an SEC team and that Taylor Martinez was 'just about to get over the hump' and become an elite QB that could lead his team to championship hardware. A win would have meant little, or nothing, in becoming an elite program again. South Carolina wasn't very good. They were a borderline Top 25 team, at best. They were in the Top 10 only because college football is so watered down. They were Michigan, part II.

The Gamecocks were entirely beatable. Their speed was not impressive. Their quarterback was forgettable, and would be eaten alive by any decent defense with a pass rush. They were undisciplined, albeit more disciplined than the pathetic Nebraska players and coaching staff. (On a quick side note, when the lack of composure and borderline bipolar behavior of a head coach filter all the way to the top of the team's talent chain (Alfonzo Dennard), a team has problems). In short, NU turned a potential 10-point win into a 17-point drubbing--again.

Nebraska is headed the opposite direction of where they were after beating Clemson in the 2009 Gator Bowl. Then, they were beating more talented teams with discplined, gutsy, smart play. Now, they're losing to teams far less talented than that Clemson squad, even though NU itself has better talent throughout its roster. So, either the coaches ain't teaching fundamentals well enough, or the players ain't listening. Either way, it's not working.

We'll go on record for perhaps the 100th time and say that the problems start, and end, at quarterback. Anyone watching bowl season surely noticed that almost every school has a better QB than Nebraska. The number of mistakes that Martinez makes and the way he makes them is laughable, or embarrasing, depending on who you're rooting for. We were actually getting texts during the game claiming that had Taylorina played well. Looking at the box score, he racked up a whopping 116 yards passing (with a crushing INT before halftime) and 36 yards rushing. When NU fans think that is the mark of a well-played game by its QB, that tells you all you need to know about the state of the program. Until there is a new quarterback under center, we'll keep writing these post-mortems after every game against a decent team. If Bo Pinelli keeps refusing to make a change, he may as well say 'sayonara' to his time in Lincoln.

So, with this said, we delve into the psyche of the rest of the Nebraska team. Football players may be dumb, but they're not stupid. They're definitely smart enough to know that their chances going into any game against a solid team with Martinez as their leader are slim to none. So, once the initial wrinkles and tricks of the gameplan wear off, and the team has to rely on their QB to move the offense with bread-and-butter plays, it all unravels. Mistakes turn a potential 14-point lead into a senseless halftime deficit.

Then, once the team is behind, and Tim Beck breaks out the dreaded dropback passing game, they know it's over. T Vagic freezes in the pocket, takes sacks, holds the ball too long and gets drilled, fumbles, bumbles, and stumbles....game over. An already bad defense has to know this. Has to know they can't stop a decent team and even if they do, their effort will likely be in vain. Can't work. Won't work.....won't DO it.

Offensively, out side of Taylorina, it's too hot-and-cold. Is that because the QB is so sporadic himself? Dumb penalties reared up again from the offensive line. Dropped passes by receivers (Kinnie, Reed, Marlowe). Fumbles in the red zone by a freshman running back (Abdullah). Game plans go into panic mode as soon as NU falls behind.

Defensively, it's worse. Outside of Dennard and LaVonte David there is NO talent. Not one playmaker. Sadly, Dennard and David played their last games Monday and are off to the NFL. Maybe it will be good for Pinelli to see just how bad his team is without the two big Band-Aids they've relied on all season. To see how continuing to run stiffs like Cameron Meredith, Lance Thorell and Austin Cassidy out on the field keeps getting the whole state of Nebraska embarrassed. To see how none of his cornerbacks can stay within four yards of a receiver, once Dennard was ejected from the game. Not good. 2012 may mean a .500 record, unless sweeping changes happen.

As for Dennard, PYB remembers just one other ejection in its 30+ years of following the NU program, and that hardly counts because it was Richie Incognito, perhaps the biggest fuckwad in NU football history. Dennard was one of our favorite players ever....the fact that he melted down like his head coach does nearly every game is telling. Over the years, NU has played teams that talked way more shit than the lowly Cocks. Played way flashier and way more irritating opponents. The fact that Dennard was not well-trained enough to avoid getting into a fight with this fat alley cat says volumes.

Alshon Jeffery beat Dennard once in the first half and got the lucky hail mary TD thanks to Pinelli playing his wide receiver-turned permanent CB-turned bench warmer Stanley Jean-Baptiste in the prevent formation. But otherwise, Dennard was in Jeffery's head with his physical play. He was wearing him out. Had he kept his cool, South Carolina would have lost its only big play threat and NU would have kept its hopes of winning the game. Too bad it didn't happen and the stupidity of a fat, lazy opponent won out.

Side note: We loved that Austin Cassidy blamed not being able to stop the first-half hail mary on the fact that Jeffery is 6'7" when he is actually just 6'4". A loser's excuse, to be sure

The 2011 campaign can certainly be classified as a deep disappointment, and this game summarized all of the recurrent problems within the program. A few one-hitters as we finish up:

--Corey Raymond hinting publicly that the team is short on athletes. True, but didn't he watch any tape before accepting the job in Lincoln?

--Rex Burkhead. It's got to hurt this guy to be surrounded by so many heartless stiffs. We still contend that the junior RB is the best decision-making quarterback on the roster. Would the offense be any worse if he ran the offense full-time? Couldn't be.

--What the hell is wrong with Ciante Evans. Looked promising for two games in 2010 before The Pinellis benched him. Looked awful all of 2011, despite doing the Cam Newton "Superman" celebration on the one play he made all year in Orlando. Is he just bad or is his confidence shot? Maybe this should tell Bo that giving underclassmen experience is important, after all.

--No pass rush. The defensive ends and tackles look weak, slow and are essentially a non-factor.

--The Cotton Factor: Did Barney get more hands-on for this game? Seems that way, with all the dumb penalties that re-surfaced....turning one drive from first and goal to 3rd and goal at the 35-yard line.

--The Gabbert Factor: The Diggler said it best. The longer Cameron Meredith and Austin Cassidy grow their hair, the more they suck. PYB is so tired of watching Meredith stand in pattycake formation with his blocker, before finally deciding to run away from him and waddle behind a play for 20 yards. We're equally sick of watching Cassidy drop his head and whiff on tackles. That is an error that weeds out shitty players in JV high school ball....not Division I.

--Ameer Abdullah: The guy proved to be a spark, but had consistent fumbling issues at inopportune times. Can he learn to hang on to the ball or maybe he'll just keep getting playing time regardless of his errors, like Taylorina Martinez.

--Speaking of T Vagic, we still would like to hear from anyone what he does well? Can't run the option effectively. Can't scramble. Can't pass deep consistently. Fumbles a lot. Throws crushing interceptions in EVERY important game and has the accuracy of a television weatherman. How in the world can this program continue with him as starter? Is Pelini that blind, or that desperate?

--Receivers: The drops have gone from freakish, to ridiculous, to downright paralyzing and demoralizing. It's preposterous! Outrageous! Ludicrous!

--Bo Pinelli: Does he have to melt down every time a bad call is made? Can't the athletic director force him to get counseling? Is he not smart enough to see the results of the games after every one of his tantrums? There was one horrendous call followed by a no-call because one of NU's pussy defensive linemen got body slammed. Lift weights. Quit getting manhandled. Get over it. Had the Huskers not pissed away a myriad of chances earlier in the game, they'd have had a comfortable lead and these calls would have been irrelevant. Again, a loser's MO.

PYB had a hard time writing this column, as it's all been said 100 times before. But someone has to keep beating the drum. Such bullshit efforts cannot be accepted, if NU is to ever regain status as a legitimate Top 15 program. Right now, NU is not even a borderline Top 25 program. It hasn't been elite for 15 years, has been mediocre for 10 years and outright bad for a few of those seasons.

The football team's demise comes at the lowest point we can remember for the entire NU athletic department. As Tom Osborne and company raise money to build some of the nation's best facilities, the teams' play suffer. Baseball....fell from Top 10 program to worthless in five years. Basketball....been shit for 13+ years...and followed up the Capital One Bowl performance by taking a wing-ding-ding-a-ling down their throat against Ohio State with a pathetic 71-40 effort in Columbus. Volleyball....noticeably absent fron the round of 16 this year. Not good.

So, as it goes, we move forward toward next season. Next up...the Spring Game. We hate the fucking Spring Game. But, we may just like it this year. It might be the last time Nebraska will have a starting quarterback not named Martinez before 2014. Ouch.

2011-12-31T04:19:00.000-08:00

--This is really original....and hilarious. Where do they come up with this stuff?

--Las Vegas linemakers came out with Michigan State as just a seven-point favorite for Saturday's game at Nebraska. Are they not reading the injury reports, or do they have something up their sleeves? We're rolling with the Spartans, either way....PYB just hopes the Huskers can crack 50 points today, considering Dylan Talley and JB Diaz are likely on the shelf again.

--As Alfonzo Dennard prepares for one final challenge at Nebraska, we'll go ahead and call him the best cornerback in Cornhusker history. Perhaps other CBs had more interceptions, but Dennard hasn't had the same supporting cast as others. His athleticism and breaks on short routes are unmatched. Who are the other candidates? Michael Booker, Ralph Brown, Tyrone Williams.....maybe NFL flop Bruce Pickens and flop-in-the-making Prince Amukamara could be thrown into the conversation?

--By the way, South Carolina players and coaches have been very respectful of NU thus far in their media comments. Do they really believe the Huskers to be a worthy opponent, or are they just trying to placate them, lull them to sleep and then blast them come Monday?

--Interesting box score here, as Tempe Corona del Sol (or Coronal del Mar according the the South Sioux newspaper) downs Mike Gesell and his SSCHS squad in holiday tournament action in Arizona. Corona del Sol is rated second in Arizona's top class, providing a measuring stick of the ability of Doc Sadler's latest recruiting miss. 36 points, nine rebounds and 6 assists....while getting to the line 14 times....seems pretty legit. This, of course, without seeing him play in person.

In the AZ Basketball Challenge, SSC bookended an 82-72 loss to Corona with two wins against teams from Tucson and Phoenix. Not powerhouse teams, but impressive nonetheless.

--Boring...Commercial. College sports decays just a bit more before our very eyes...

--Finally, PYB is ready to rock with five college bowl games today. Granted, they're all shit games, but it gives us an excuse to play up the cold we caught while travelling for the holidays, sit on the couch all day, and gamble the hours away....

Top Notch

2011-12-23T09:39:00.001-08:00

Picture of the Year -- 2011

2011-12-21T04:49:00.001-08:00

Christmas Wrapping

2011-12-21T04:22:00.000-08:00

Some pre-Christmas notes before we hit the road:

--Who will miss 10 assignments if Mike Caputo can't play in the Capital One bowl for NU? Better question: why can't a starting Nebraska football player find a road whore to take him home from the bars?

--Gonna be a long season at the Devaney Center. Dylan Talley, one of the few athletic recruits NU has bagged in recent years, has a debilitating injury and will be in and out of the lineup for time everlasting. The Huskers' top two centers are out--one all season and one indefinitely. And their only scorer just fucked up his thumb. We might want to review our 14-16 preseason prediction...but will wait until after Wisconsin drubs Doc's boys in a 49-36 shootout. Hell, at least they held off the Chippewas last night...

--Which would help the Nebraska football team more? Keeping Bo Pinelli or having a new coach who would bench Taylorina Martinez? This just in, for the record....Penn State would be a downgrade from Nebraska, but Pinelli would love being able to play overmatched, white, home-state safeties on his defense for years to come with little public scrutiny.

--Hey everyone! NU signed a CB who can play right away next season! Heard this one before: Andre Jones, Armando Murillo, Zack Bowman. Can't wait until Andrew Green and Ciante Evans and the cornerback du jour are playing next year while newbie Mohammed Seisay festers on the sideline. Then we'll certainly hear that he hasn't practiced as well as the others and it's all about competing.....can't fucking wait.

Even funnier is how the Omaha World Herald continually references its partner in recruiting coverage--Huskers Illustrated--and links stories and blogs to the site that requires a registration fee. No thanks. We'll wait to see if these guys can play once they hit the field and leave the hyperbole to all the cretins with nothing better to do than stroke it to the alleged talents of 18-year-old kids.

--Dear Coach Kaczynski: Stay in Iowa City. The cupboard at defensive line is bare as shit in Lincoln.

--It just re-occurred to us: Matt Slauson is a pussy.

--Anyone who watched ESPN's "The Sports Reporters" over the years should not be surprised that this arrogant, disgusting pig is a pedophile. If it wasn't enough to have to watch Bill Conlin slobber his over his yellow, crooked teeth over his bottom lip and into his coffee mug while regurgitating his short-sighted soliloquies, we get to watch him retire like any coward would when the disgusting details hit the air. To make it worse, one of the alleged victims is a family member.

--Ryan Clark thinks folks in the Gay Bay rigged a power outage on MNF. Ryan....your whole sport is rigged. If you don't believe me, look it up. Eli Manning has a ring.

--Speaking of rigged sports, PYB is looking forward to the NBA. Even with everyone jerking off the Clippers, they'll find a way to go sub-.500. Even money says Chris Paul or Blake Griffin blows his knee within 15 games.....

Clown Prince

2011-12-19T03:49:00.000-08:00

Prince Amukamara was destroyed by one of the worst offenses in the NFL yesterday--the Washington Redskins. He was so bad he got benched and the NYC media is circling. This one is from the NY Post. PYB feels for the kid, because he obviously isn't NFL CB material. Hopefully, he can stick as a safety or special teams and make a career of it.

However, we'd put most of this on the scouts. Anyone who watched him at NU knew that the reason for his ZERO INTs as a senior wasn't because teams didn't throw at him. It was because he didn't have the natural instincts to break on and catch the ball. The fact that Justin Blackmon killed him wasn't a fluke. Amukamara doesn't have the agility necessary to turn quickly enough and run with top-line WRs. Anyone who watched his NFL combine testing should have known that. Deion Sanders said it live on the NFL Network.

Anyway, he wasn't the only ex-Husker to get worked yesterday. Eric Hagg was part of a secondary that blew a coverage on Larry Fitzgerald that cost Cleveland their game in overtime. Niles Paul missed on a blocking assignment and nearly got Rex Grossman killed. We're sure Barrett Ruud missed 10 tackles. Roy Helu had 53 yards....on 23 carries....against a Giants D that stacked up the run but couldn't defend the pass to save its life.

Leave it up to Ndamukong Suh to save NU's rep for the day, as he blocked Sebastian Janikowski's 65-yard FG attempt that would have won the game for the Oakland Raiders.

That's the Husker recap from the NFL. Tim Tebow got worked by Tom Brady. People are exalting KC's upset over GB as one of the greatest of all time, forgetting that the Packers didn't have their best wideout. Joe Flacco & company lay another egg, as does Mark Sanchez. The Colts notched their first win. And the Eagles and Cardinals are somehow still in playoff contention.

Happy Monday...we'll have more this week....

Lay it Down

2011-12-17T04:59:00.000-08:00

Source: honestlywtf.com via David on Pinterest

--If you were going up the river for up to 40 years, would you make a run for it after you got released on bail? His lawyer is convinced of his complete innocence, shockingly enough. We're not sure if Hurd is more ballsy or stupid for calling agents this summer to ask for his $88,000 back.

--Wisconsin-Whitewater beat Mount Union 13-10 Friday night for its third-straight Division III national title. It was the seventh straight season that the two teams had met for the crown....pretty amazing. At least one college football team from Wisconsin can win a game when it matters.

PYB likes watching the FCS, D-II and D-III games more each year. Less commercial interest, more about the game itself. We're just wondering how ESPN will fuck this up in the coming years. Putting the game at 6pm on Friday was probably the first step.

--Nebraska plays Alcorn State in hoops at the Devaney tonight. Sweet. Seriously, a game vs. Division I UNO would be better.

--Yay! Everyone gets a trophy! Rex Burkhead is one of the Nebraska team Co-MVPs but Taylorina gets offensive MVP. How does that make sense? Also happy to see Luke Lingenfelter get the "Husker Heart" award for wasting a spot on the NU team the last few years.

--Speaking of football, we're convinced the Capital One Bowl will be a game NU should have won, only to have Martinez piss it away because he can't handle playing against a speedy, physical defense.

That's all for now...slow times in the sports world today....we're just bracing for the epic Rat vs. Utah State matchup later today.

PYB

Don't Touch the Watch...

2011-12-13T04:00:00.000-08:00

Source: Uploaded by user via David on Pinterest

--Glad to see that NU is once again taking bowl season seriously. Mike Caputo racks up a DUI and Eric Martin ticketed for leaving the scene of an accident. Glad to see they respect their teammates and fellow citizens. Well, all the more reason to place a healthy wager on South Carolina on January 2. Sadly, these two scrubs should be afterthoughts in a program as proud as Nebraska's used to be. Now they're starters whose stupid actions are already detracting from its chances to lick the Cocks.

--At least Doc Sadler's basketball team logged a nice, comeback road win at TCU Saturday. We aren't able to offer analysis, because we were too cheap to pay for The MTN network given the fact we only would be home for the second half.

Hopefully, they can handle the remaining two stiffs on their non-conference schedule, because the start of the Big 10 schedule looks like a distinct 0-4 possibility unless the Huskers improve dramatically. Wisconsin, Michigan State, Ohio State, Illinois. Ouch.

--Only 27 more starts.....should get over the hump....any game now. What a waste of 1000 words. And 500 more....

--Finally, PYB got an insider tip on the leading candidates for defensive coordinator at Nebraska. They are, in no particular order, the 7th grade coach at Youngstown middle school, the 8th grade coach at Youngstown middle school, and the 9th grade coach at Youngstown middle school.

--The Washington Post with a nice writeup on Roy Helu. Still thrilled that NU wasted his talent for 3+ seasons.

All for now...we promise to get back into the swing after a heavy week of travel....

Longhorn Soft

2011-12-09T15:08:00.000-08:00

Glad to see Colt McCoy still needs his daddy to fight his battles for him. As if the national title game against Alabama wasn't embarrassing enough, he now can't take up for himself as a professional?

PYB can only imagine McCoy's dad and Brent Musburger sitting on the side of Colt's bed, caressing his head and nursing him back to health.

Another in the long line of Longhorn-turned-NFL warrior like Chrissy Simms, Ricky Williams, Roy Williams, and Cedric Benson.

Rats!

2011-12-03T03:59:00.001-08:00

--PYB was glad to see last night that Rat Solich has not lost his touch. Up 20-0 on Northern Illinois in the MAC Championship game, the Lil' General summoned his profound skills of pissing away the easiest of wins and helped the Bobcats blow their first chance at a MAC title since 1968.

Hopefully, any idiot who thought the Rat got screwed when NU axed him watched this game. Same glassy-eyed look as the sand slipped between his fingers. Same horrible clock management. Hey Frank, if you have two timeouts and the opponent is driving down the field for the game-winning score, you might want to use those timeouts to save some time for when you get the ball back.

Instead, Rat Solich saved both timeouts to ice the kicker with five seconds remaining. After the short FG, time had expired and Ohio didn't even get a last-ditch scoring chance. Gary Pinkel, however, thinks Solich worked the clock like a true maestro. It was Wow, Sheesh, Wow, Amazing!

--Go big and go home. The Nebraska volleyball team turned in its annual choke job, by losing in the NCAA's second rounded to the unranked Mildtwats from Kansas State. Looks like Lauren Cook, after her felony arrest, was just as toxic to her team as her boyfriend.

--More speed lost from the Bayou.....don't worry, we're sure Bo and the boys have a Class D walkon from Howells to replace this recruit. That said, PJ Smith was from Louisiana and was heralded as the second coming and can't tackle, run or remember an assignment to save his ass.

--Fresh off another bad loss, this time to Wake Forest, Nebraska takes on the Creighton Bluegays Sunday. Apparently, Creighton is the greatest team ever for beating San Diego State on the road and has 'that look' according to the Omaha World Herald because they are ranked for no reason in particular. Check back with us in March.

Anyway, NU lost to Oregon because it missed shots and played spotty defense and got jobbed by the officials. It lost to Wake because they exposed the Huskers' weaknesses....already. NU still, in a state of 99.9% white people, can't find a knock-down three-point shooter for drive & kick situations. The Deacons pressured Bo Spencer, Dylan Talley and Caleb Walker when they had the ball and didn't allow them to get their shots in rhythm. It was another horrible shooting night for Nebraska, who were 38.6% from the field and 6/23 from downtown. Shades of last season. Perhaps if they got JB Diaz more than 10 shots on the interior that percentage would be higher. Diaz still gets pushed off the low block too easily by even the skinniest of players.

Even more frustrating was NU's perimeter defense, as it gave up consistent wide-open threes that helped keep WF in the game in the first half. For a coach who hangs his hat on rugged defense, that kind of effort is unacceptable. However, it's been happening since the beginning of last season. Perhaps our preseason prediction of 14-16 for this team wasn't far off.

NU had better show up and make shots on Sunday, or they will get bottle blasted in Omahole. This is Creighton's Super Bowl, as we all know they'll piss the MVC conference title down its leg in February. Fear not, though, Husker fans. Brandon Ubel has been assigned to guard Creighton's top dog Doug McDermott...and they don't call Ubel "The Glove" for nothing....

Two side notes on the Wake Forest game, after watching the second half on DVR:

1. Could the court design be any worse? Over-sized ugly Iron N with an inexplicable white background behind it--like someone forgot to crop it out on Photoshop before rubber-stamping the final proof. Thanks 3:10 to Beatrice for pointing that out. Jammed in next to the N is a gaudy Big 10 logo, topped off by non-matching font Nebraska on the baseline.

2. We never thought we'd hear play-by-play man Mitch Holthus top his effort from an NU game last year, when he called Andre Almeida "The Bouncer" at least 15 times in one game. He did, though, on Wednesday, when he talked about men, women and children taking dumps for a good 45 seconds when Miles Simon mentioned the fact that the new Hendricks Center had televisions in the shitters. Simon says disgusting.

Finally, congrats to some friends of PYB for making it center stage on Deadspin. 50 Cent called and says "Damn, you big time now..."

Enjoy your weekend....PYB

Old School

2011-11-27T06:48:00.000-08:00

One good video, featuring a couple of old bastards that have more fire than 99 percent of today's football players who hug at the 50-yard line after every game.

Speaking of the NFL, PYB is giddy with anticipation as we await today's Clash of the Titans as Matt Leinart and Blaine Gabbert go head-to-head. God only knows if yards per attempt will eclipse the 3.5-yard mark today.

If this matchup isn't enough for you today, you're also blessed with and undercard of Rex Grossman v. Tarvaris Jackson, Christian Ponder v. Matt Ryan, Cam Newton v. Curtis Painter, Caleb Hanie v. Carson Palmer, Mark Sanchez v. Ryan Fitzpatrick, and Josh Freeman v. Matt Hasselbeck. Looks like a good day to start and finish your Christmas shopping or to wrap up any other annoying family commitments.

Recapping and Christmas Rapping

2011-11-27T04:24:00.000-08:00

--Solid 76-64 win for Nebraska basketball over South Dakota State, who had given Georgia and Minnesota trouble so far this season. Bo Spencer racked up 18 points, but more importantly had eight assists and just one turnover. Christopher Niemann played three minutes -- so much for the 15 that Doc Sadler guaranteed he'd play the day prior.

Onward to a Wednesday matchup against Wake Forest, who was most recently seen getting blasted by an average Arizona State team in an Old Spice Classic consolation game.

--Nice to see Roy Williams has started getting outcoached already this season. The Orleans Arena has always been known as a snakepit...white trash blackjack players and $3.99 steaks that resemble the sole of an old cowboy boot.

--Nice to see the Nebraska volleyball team has started its annual choke. Usually, they wait until the NCAA Tournament to melt down. This year the gals decided the first round of the conference tournament would suffice. So...under Title IX.....if NU blew its number-one seed and between two to four home games in the NCAA tournament, do the women have to pay back the lost revenue? Just wondering.

--PYB chimes in with a quick recap of the boring Iowa football game, an epic 20-7 battle that gave NU its first win of the contrived Heroes series. A game where the Hawkeyes barely tried to score. At least Penn State had an excuse with its horrible offense. Iowa didn't even try and certainly forgot the tried-and-true formula. Throw random deep balls over and over against any DB besides Alfonzo Dennard and get at least 14 points a game from it.

Nebraska won because of its three good players -- Rex Burkhead (overused), LaVonte David, and Dennard. Other than that, it was four quarters of completely unremarkable football. The only watchable part of the game was the Dennard v. Marvin McNutt matchup, which was a first-round TKO. Welcome to the Big 10.

In another side note, LaVonte David has racked up 274 tackles with one game to go in his all-too-short NU career. To put it in perspective, if he had two more seasons he would beat Barrett Ruud's career tackles mark by at least 100. PYB would give anything to see Ruud's name wiped from the record book, as he was one of the most overrated NU players ever. Considering how many times he saved the Blackskirts this season and that he made game-saving plays against Ohio State and Penn State, David may be one of the most underrated.

The game, however, did leave us with a clear big picture of the future. Next year will be rough, with an already porous defense losing its only two good players. The offense will be the same. Same shitty QB. Same menagerie of RBs seeking playing time. Same inconsistent line. Decent, but underused, receiving options.

All we know is that this program is not getting any better without a new quarterback. Three to four losses will be the norm. Taylorina Martinez can't pass downfield consistently. He can't complete a screen play. He can't run the option. He can't scramble. He can't run the zone read. He can't lead others. He can't put together a sentence of more than four words. What, exactly, does he bring to the table? This is a 100 percent serious question, and if anyone has an answer, we're all ears....

Any other point we could cover today would be something we've driven into the ground 15 times this year. Change must happen, and if it doesn't, we'll see you again next year at 9-3. All we have now is a horrible 11 a.m. bowl game in Florida, against an SEC also-ran that isn't that good but has way too much speed for a team with a bad line, slow defense and a QB who turtles at the first sign of adversity.

All we want for Christmas is a point spread under seven....For now, we're saving our breath.

Happy Holidays...PYB

Folks They're Not Booing....They're Slauson-ing....

2011-11-26T07:04:00.000-08:00

If a face painter doesn't like you, should it hurt your feelings? Former Nebraska stiff and Jets hanger-on Matt Slauson took this opportunity to kick Ndamukong Suh while the Detroit DT is down. Curious timing, considering Slauson's had almost two full seasons to say something before now.

PYB says the source of his dislike is more the fact that Suh tossed him around like Haloti Ngata did last season than because he "wasn't a good teammate."

Keep in mind this is the same Slauson that was featured for fighting during training camp during the last season of HBO's 'Hard Knocks'. Looks like another attention grab for a player who couldn't block anyone while at NU and spent more time applying warpaint than pancaking opponents. We say he should just shut up and enjoy the sympathy starting spot that Bill Callahan gave him.

Hopefully, Detroit and NYJ can square off -- soon. We'll see the DT with the talent, strength and fire standing over the tattooed and painted pretender. Can't wait.

Duck Duck Lose

2011-11-24T03:56:00.000-08:00

PYB received a bevy of texts and tweets and Blackberry messages from disappointed friends and fans last night, as the Nebraska basketball team was in the process of taking the fist up the ass during its 83-76 loss to the corn nuts from Oregon.

Comments included:

--JB Diaz is a pussy and lost the game. His 21 points on 8/11 shooting, six rebounds and three blocks say otherwise.

--NU still can't make free throws. NU went 21/25 for 84%. Unfortunately, the four they did miss were all front ends of one-and-ones. However, the last missed FT came with 5:45 remaining and the Huskers trailing 73-64.

--Terrible possessions. NU only had 14 turnovers (three coming on bullshit illegal screen calls. We thought Dick Bavetta had this fall off from work?) and PYB didn't see an inordinate amount of wasted possessions.

For some reason, PYB came away from this loss with a more positive outlook than negative. We're pinning this loss squarely on the officials and their untimely, horrendous calls. The illegal pick on Brandon Ubel with 1:07 remaining and NU with the ball and a chance to take the lead was one of the most atrocious calls we've seen in 25 years. Given the history of officiating in the Big 8/Big 12, that's saying a HELL of a lot. We've watched it four more times on DVR this morning, and it gets worse every time. The reach-in call on Brandon Richardson was nearly as bad.

Those calls and a couple other factors led to NU's first loss of the young season. Most importantly, outside of the ref job, was the fact that Oregon made shots in the second half while NU's wouldn't fall. The Quacks shot 45 percent from field and 44 percent from three-point range. Doc's crew had some tough misses and in & outs and shot 40 and 20 percent, respectively. Not an excuse, obviously, but some games the shots won't fall. This was one of them.

Our biggest concern is NU's lack of a good power forward. Despite bringing some assets to the team, Ubel will never compete with athletic big men on the boards and will never change opponents' shots. Toney McCray played just eight minutes and is just too up and down to ever be a reliable contributor. This team seems to be just one 6-foot-9, athletic shotblocker/rebounder/dunker away from being a true threat.

Bo Spencer had just 11 points, but Oregon made a point of shutting him down. Still, he had five assists and is clearly a team leader. His game-tying, double clutch layup into contact made the score 75-75 and was impressive. The fact that he's garnering so much attention opens opportunities for his teammates.

In the end, NU just couldn't get over the hump Wednesday. A fact made clear when Doc Sadler drew up a perfect play with NU down two points with 27 seconds remaining. Ubel swung it to the win to a wide-open Dylan Talley and the three barely missed. Two Duck FTs and missed Spencer three later, the game was over.

The referees had to be happy, as they had their fingerprints on another college basketball game. So did Dana Altman and the Ducks. Doc and his crew had to be disappointed, but if they're like PYB today, they have a lot of reasons to look forward to the rest of 2011-12. Maybe we're just searching for a team to believe in, with another lost football season on our hands. We loved the Thanksgiving Eve game. It should happen every year.

The game was by no means perfect, but at least it was an entertaining brand of basketball. At least the team didn't quit when it was down 15 points in the second half. At least 10,881 fans showed up and made a little noise. Perhaps they realize that the hoops team may be the only team on campus playing with heart and intensity this fall. Let's hope they don't quit coming to the games.

We'll have plenty of chances to see if this squad will develop into something, as tests against Wake Forest, Creighton and TCU remain in the non-conference schedule. (Side note: the BlueGays win over Iowa doesn't look as impressive this morning, as the Hawkeyes got destroyed by the Camels of Campbell last nite)

Onward and upward. Happy Turkey Day.

Ducks for Turkey Day

2011-11-23T04:15:00.001-08:00

--Alonzo Whaley gets to share time as a starter with one of the worst Nebraska LBs in 20 years, because he got a good grade report. Holy shit.....we don't know where to start.....

--We're also glad to see the Blackskirts are so unorganized, that they can't get defensive calls in consistently....by game 10.

--Dear Tom Shatel: Please let this stupid obsession with a meaningless, hokey trophy die.

--The Nebraska basketball team tries to run its record to 4-0 tonight against Oregon. PYB is interested to see if the Huskers can keep up shooting, dribbling and scoring like a real D-I team.

--Apparently the PYB source, a PSU alumni, who told us Paul Posluszny got suspended five games for making prank calls was exaggerating.

2011-11-22T04:48:00.000-08:00

PYB leaves the heavy lifting to someone else for the day. We love this OWH comment post from Joey.

Joey says:
November 22, 2011 at 5:47 am
I’m tired of people making escuses for Bo. 48-17, 45-17 losses, and LOSING to an UNRANKED TEAM WITH A LOSING RECORD, ON YOUR OWN HOME FIELD Is just INEXCUSABLE!!!! We could get BLOWN OUT the next game, and in our bowl game. T-Mart could throw 3 INT’s in each game, and coming next season T-Mart would STILL be our QB!!!!! All Bo will do is cover for him, and say he just had some bad games, it could happen to anyone. Something tells me T-Mart’s daddy is pulling out ALOT of Benjimans to keep T- Tragic in as a starting QB!!!!! I mean COME ON, ESPN has even commented on how ridiculous he plays!!!! It just feels like Bo is here to pick up his check and head home!!!! Bo talks as if Crick was healthy, it would be different!!!…lol.. Really?.. OK.. The games he was in, how many sacks did NU have??? 1 or 2 a game??? NU was getting blasted, NU still has T-Mart still in??? Now wouldn’t a GREAT coach put in the back ups to give them experience??? NOT BO!!! Is he AFFRAID Carnes, or Turner will do what NU fans ALREADY KNOWS what they’ll do???? Which is make Martinez look RIDICULOUS!!! Bo says were a GOOD team..hmmm. Did you fans pay hundreds of $$$$$$ for HOME GAMES to see a GOOD TEAM… HELL NO!!! YOU PAID TO SEE A GREAT TEAM!!!!!!!! Even more DEPRESSING, he said ” This college is about CHAMPIONSHIPS!!!” Really?… Where are they??? Oh I’m sorry Bo, I didn’t know you were referring to the Banana Bowls we won, in replacement of a Division Titles, and National Titles!!!! That’s a GREAT accomplishment to do what you’ve done… If you’re NMSU ( New Mexico State ). That’s like SEC fans should be grateful if they ONLY play in the Banana Bowls rather than a National Title..lol ( not that I wouldn’t enjoy every second of it!!!). I’m sure they would loooooove that idea… NOT!!!

Just Another Manning Monday

2011-11-21T03:44:00.000-08:00

--Nice win for Doc Sadler's NU basketball team yesterday, as they crushed Rhode Island. Sure, we've seen them hammer teams like this in non-conference play before, but this squad looks different. They look, run, jump and shoot like real basketball players. Guys like Toney McCray don't have to try to handle the ball and look like fish out of water.

Bo Spencer provides a nice scoring punch. Dylan Talley looks like a legitimate player too. Caleb Walker is as athletic as any player NU has had in 20 years. If these guys can keep performing, and McCray and Brandon Richardson can focus on the things they do well (defense/rebounding/hustle), this team could have potential.

The Cornhuskers dominated the 83-63 win from the outset. They can actually shot over 30% from three-point range. We shall see, as the first Big Ten season will be a bitch. But at least they look like a real basketball team.

We know this, the team will play with heart and will never quit playing defense. That will buy at least a couple wins in the B10. Hopefully, our preseason prediction of 14-16 is way off.

--Speaking of quitters, the Omaha World Herald's Sam McKewon provided a nice recap on how the Michigan coaching staff toyed with its Cornhusker counterparts before crushing them in the second half.

--Actually, the strategy that Jon Nyatawa mentions here is not 'throw deep on NU', it is throw the ball anywhere on any Nebraska player without #15 on his jersey. The same strategy we covered yesterday.

--The OWH's Lee Barfknecht is on point today. He confirms what we all knew--that B10 football still sucks AND that NU's coordinators are setting a ridiculous example by skipping press conferences when they are outcoached yet again.

--In case you wondered, Eli Manning still sucks. It was great watching the Philadelphia defense plant him into the turf after another one of his patented INTs Sunday night. Lil' Elly couldn't do what even the Arizona Cardinals did this year, and beat the Eagles -- without Michael Vick and Jeremy Maclin. And he lost PYB money for at least the 25th time in his career.

On the bright side, former NU CB Prince Amukamara did get his first interception in his first NFL game. If you're counting, that's one more than he had all of last year during his senior season. That is, of course, because teams 'wouldn't throw his way.' Luckily, Vince Young underthrew DeSean Jackson by 10 yards, because Jackson had run right by Amukamara.

--We make fun, but we'd pay money to have Prince back at NU along with Dejon Gomes, who was second on the Washington Redskins yesterday with eight tackles. Sorry for the weak link, but the Washington Post's online coverage lacks in the organization department.

Solich 3.0

2011-11-20T04:49:00.000-08:00

Nebraska got bottle blasted by Michigan 45-17 Saturday in Ann Arbor. Michigan isn't very good. Nebraska is awful, and the Cornhuskers are stuck on a treadmill that keeps them jogging in the same dreadful abyss that Rat Solich led them to eight years ago. While watching a game NU could have won, but instead lost by 28 points, we wished that we were the ones who had been slipped some GHB. The rape was inevitable, so we may have well been able to enjoy it.

Let's run down the list, in no particular order. After watching the game tape again, and concluding that the highlight of the day came five minutes before kickoff when Lee Corso said "fuck" on national television, we came up with a lengthy list of observations that would take several hours to organize. Without a free day to spend at the library writing an outline, here goes:

--The uncalled offensive pass interference that led to Michigan's first touchdown was an outrageous miss that was just the beginning of a home-cooked ref job of Big 12 proportions. Even though this was not the reason for the loss, we knew the day was already fucked at this point.

--NU came out with its big-game face on, and shot itself in the nuts with eight penalties for 73 yards. More damaging than the 73 yards was the timing of the fouls, which led to horrible field position and to Michigan TDs. It's what Bo Pelini teams do on the big stage. Turn on the bright lights.

--Mike Caputo kept his marginal play going, whiffing at the most inopportune times to help NU turn 1st & 10 into 2nd & 14.

--Cameron Meredith was as bad as always. Handfighting with offensive tackles for four quarters, getting pushed four yards off the line of scrimmage, getting juked by any Michigan skill player within five yards, waddling after Denard Robinson once in a while and making one assisted tackle every third quarter. But hey, he has a ponytail, so he must be good. ESPN's announcers even made fun of him on one of his pathetic tackle attempts on Robinson, saying that Camyoufeelit must have thought he was playing flag football. Sadly, he's too fat and slow to be good at flag football.

--Most shocking this day was Nebraska's lack of talented personnel. This team has three good players. LaVonte David, Alfonzo Dennard and Rex Burkhead. The rest of the team is a menagerie of overwhelmed, home-grown walkons and overrated recruits from the other 49 states.

NU's three good players are from Florida, Georgia and Texas....so PYB is happy that Nebraska moved to the Big 10 where it can concentrate on racking up more slow players from the Rust and Corn Belts. What does NU plan to do next season when it loses its two best players from a defense that gives up 45 points to any team with an above-average offense? Scary thoughts, indeed.

Bo Pinelli keeps running hacks like Lance Thorell (he's so bad we almost feel bad for him but our rage at Pinelli for playing him overrides that emotion) and Austin Cassidy out on the field, to be eaten by the wolves. Are players like PJ Smith and Courtney Osborne so stupid they really can't learn the offense? Or are they recruiting misses by the staff? Or is the defense too hard to learn? Or is the development so bad that they can't beat out the stiffs like Thorell and Cassidy?

--The in-game coaching was terrible, across the board. Brady Hoke toyed with Pinelli and his Youngstown brain trust. Offensively, there was no focus. No rhythm. No identity. Gone was the Wildcat formation with Burkhead at QB, which won the Penn State game. The Diamond formation? One play for a long TD pass, then scrapped.

The only offensive consistency was the inconsistency. Taylorina Martinez's uncanny knack of turning 1st & 10 into 2nd & 15 was still present as ever, as was his complete lack of presence in the pocket. Nebraska will never win, especially with a mediocre offensive line, if it tries to play 'hide Martinez like the Ravens hid Trent Dilfer years ago.' It's necessary to have a good defense to play that game successfully.

--In all seriousness, what does Martinez bring to the table? Can't run the option. Can't pass. Can't scramble from the pocket. Can't read the zone read. Can't secure the ball. Can't lead. As we've said hundreds of times, Nebraska will never be good with him under center. May as well cut bait with him now. Otherwise, it's 26 more starts with him and hello, 8-4 twice more. Anyone who thinks this is sour grapes, please contact us with ONE thing Taylorina adds to the team's bottom line.

--Defensively, it was another sad effort. The defensive line is banged up, and not very good to start. Will Compton is one of the few bright spots outside of David and Dennard, but can't do much when his DL is pushed back into his face 60 percent of the time.

The defensive backs continue to disappoint--actually it can't be called disappointment when it has become expected. Too many times, Andrew Green and Ciante Evans are around the ball and drop easy interceptions or misplay the receiver and give up long receptions. Daimion Stafford looked good on run support some times, but was lost on pass coverage. He's shown flashes, but it's hard to learn when the veterans around you are making the same errors just as regularly.

Austin Cassidy was horrible, as always. We'll devote a full paragraph to his embarrassing play, as we've done ten times before. If it's inevitable, we may as well sit back, laugh and enjoy it. His whiff/faceplant on Michigan's final TD run provided an embarrassed chuckle and evoked memories of one Philip Bland. Most sadly, he's become some type of media mouthpiece for the defense. If you're stealing a scholarship from the state of Nebraska, and are that bad, just shut your mouth and ride out the last two games and thank daddy's former position at NU for the free ride.

--On an unrelated note, PYB likes listening to Urban Meyer on ESPN. His knowledge of the option game adds a great layer of information to Nebraska telecasts. We'd like to know what he's thinking about NU's underachievement. It's also interesting to hear him say that the Huskers have "no chance to win" once they start with the incessant, dink-and-dunk, forced passing game. Apparently, NU fans do know a little bit about football if they agree with a coach with multiple national title rings.

--PYB also contends that Burkhead is the best QB that Nebraska has played this year. Inexplicably, he got zero snaps under center after living there the week prior against Penn State. He commandeered the second good offensive play of the day, a handoff from Martinez which he then pitched to Ameer Abdullah (perfectly, we'd like to note) for an easy TD.

--Speaking of Abdullah, who's still on his way to become the next Santino Panico at the coaches' behest, he looked pretty nice running the ball. Hopefully, he isn't worn out after getting two carries. If he is tired, though, Aaron Green should be fresh enough to spell him. He got one carry. His redshirt, however, is still burned. As is Jamal Turner's, who sat most the game only to get his ass ripped for being the 12th man in the huddle late in the game.

--Regardless of all the aforementioned atrocities, NU had cut Bitchigan's lead to 31-17 at the end of the third quarter. The Blackskirts had stopped the Wolverines on their own 16 yard line and were set to get the ball back at midfield, at the worst, following another fair catch by Abdullah. However, Pinelli's charges decided to come after a punt (despite not blocking one since Barron Miles wore red) with another Walk-on 5.0. The result was obvious to anyone not from Youngstown. Too slow to make the block. Not enough hops to lay out and get the ball. Just slow enough to hit the punter's plant foot. Personal foul. Game over.

Meyer knew it and said it as soon as he saw the flag. Michigan ball at the 31-yard line. First play following that.....14 yard run. Again and again, UM gashed the worn-out defensive line...and then the Blackskirts did what they do in times of adversity--they quit. It was like watching the Wisconsin mauling in Madison again, except this time NU was being bludgeoned by a decidedly average team.

Nebraska did get UM pinned to a 3rd and 9 on the drive, but then Robinson dialed up a play that Penn State was not smart enough to last week and just threw it up for grabs on any NU DB not named Alfonzo. Stafford did his best Cassidy impression, quit running and fell 10 yards behind the play. Green did his best Ciante Evans and was beaten by three yards. 38-17.

Next drive, T-Vag can't find a WR on 3rd & 3. Too dumb and indecisive to find a scrambling lane....sacked from behind from a Michigan DT that runs a 5.5 40, fumble. Two plays later, missed tackle following Cassidy faceplant. 45-17. We've seen it all before. Solich made it too common, almost acceptable. Bill Callahan made it a habit.

As time wound down, Martinez found ways not to get the ball to receivers. He did, however, remember that he had an All-America caliber receiving TE and hit Kyler Reed for a meaningless pass completion.

PYB fielded calls, tweets and texts from pissed off friends and readers, wondering how to handle another massacre at the hands of a bad team. Just sit back and enjoy it. Enjoy another lost season. Enjoy another ruined Saturday. Enjoy another terrible bowl game. Enjoy the fact that the program hasn't gone anywhere since 1998 and isn't going anywhere soon--not with the program tied to a duo of blockheads. Bo and T-Vagic, sitting in a tree, R-O-T-T-I-N-G.

Nebraska shells out nearly $3 million a year to Pinelli, apparently for the honor of sitting on the periphery of the Top 25. For the consistent result of being outcoached by the likes of Pat Fitzgerald, Steve Sarkisian, Pat Hill and Brady Hoke. For the regular meltdowns on ABC and ESPN, when NU sits center stage. For members of the coaching staff ducking press conferences after another bad game. Thankfully, NU did move to the B10 this year--or it might have five conference losses by now.

Turn out the bright lights. Have mercy on us. End this season now, and not in Houston in the Meineke Car Car Bowl. End the T-Vagic era. Find a QB who can beat good teams. A QB that leads, not hides, in big games. And find a coach, whether it's a Pelini we've yet to see or a new, long-term solution. A coach who has an identity, and sticks to it.

NU fans can handle losing to better teams. They can handle a couple 9-3 seasons if the overall direction of the program is upward. They can't handle the treadmill to nowhere, a program held together with duct tape and seasons showered with needless blowouts filled with penalties, personal fouls, poor decision making and mind-boggling personnel and clock management.

Fourteen seasons and counting. Back....to the Future.

PS--Bitchigan ought to be embarrassed for having its defense fake injuries, multiple times, to slow down NU's no-huddle offense while holding a 21-point lead.

PSS--Choke-la-Homa should be embarrassed by giving up 45 points to Baylor and pissing away YET another chance at a title game bid.

Choke-la-Homa

2011-11-19T02:48:00.000-08:00

--Mark it up as two Oklahoma teams that have pissed easy wins away this season once PYB hit "Off" on the television remote and went to dreamland. We threw in the towel last night once Brandon Weeden's TD pass gave Oklahoma State a 24-7 lead over Iowa State early in the third quarter. So, surprised were we, to wake up this morning at 4:30 and see that the Cowboys had taken a page out of the Sooners' book, relinquished the lead to the Cyclowns, and lost 37-31 in 2OT.

Apparently, OSU wouldn't have been a match for LSU's speed-laced defense after all. Any national championship contender must run through a gauntlet that includes treacherous road tests like the one they faced last night in Ames in front of 38,000 fans. A team that can survive that snakepit unscathed shows true championship grit. It was not meant to be.

Alas, OSU was who we thought they were, and they let ESPN off the hook. The puppeteers at the World Wide Leader are surely stroking their cocks at a rapid pace this morning, as they think of just how to shoehorn Oregon, its sweatshop money and its hired-whore "cheerleaders" into the BCS title game. The folks in Bristol surely have to hate faking sympathy for the OSU women's basketball coaches killed yesterday, before giving their recap of one-loss contenders now back in the championship hunt.

--By the way, did anyone know that Weeden played professional baseball before going to Oklahoma State to try his hand at football?

--Remember when beating a top-five team in college football meant something? Now, teams are in the top five by default--because the overrated teams in front of them just lost the week before. Dethroning a top team is now a weekly occurrence, gets a flicker of press on Saturday evening, then is gone and doesn't mean shit to anybody by kickoff of the NFL games on Sunday.

--Is it really possible that NINE of the TEN teams in the Big TWELVE could qualify for bowl games?

--PYB was glad to see that Tiger Woods decided to show up for the President's Cup in Australia and win a point for the team Saturday. Fred Couples decided to celebrate that victory by benching Phil Mickelson, undefeated in 11 straight President's Cup contests, for the next round of matches.

--Reader question: Why are the greens at Royal Melbourne black? No clue, but you can read more here.

--While we're talking golf, we'll post a favorite video of ours, courtesy of the Diggler.

--We'll ask the question one final time: Did Gary Pinkel call timeout to try to ice the police office administering his sobriety test?

--Does Joe Paterno really have cancer, or is this a distraction to make everyone forget that he helped cover up the fact that innocent kids got butt-raped on his watch?

--Two weeks ago, the Omaha World Herald wrote flowery pieces on Tim Beck and the offensive line. Hours later, NU both had horrible games in a home loss to Northwestern. Well, Tom Shatel has chimed in just in time with a Taylor Martinez column.

--Let's get on with our picks/pigs for Saturday, a day filled with unstellar matchups:

Nebraska at Michigan: If Iowa can contain Denard Robinson, can NU's cement-footed D-linemen? No clue what happens here, but we like the over at 50. We just hope Fatshi Hardrick stops tweeting and begging followers for game pictures long enough to fucking block someone.

Kansas +31 at Texas aTm: No logic here, other than aTm has mailed this season in.

Oregon -14.5 vs. USC: Difference in speed shows up big here. For some reason, national media cretins are trying to pump Matt Barkley up into an NFL can't-miss QB. Decent draft prospect, yes. The next Ryan Fitzpatrick? Not so fast.

Oklahoma -15 at Baylor: This is our favorite pick of the day. Baylor made its bowl game already. Baylor isn't that good. The Sooners will be interviewing for ESPN today, trying to make us all forget they lost to Texas Tech. Hammer time.

That's all we got so far....Enjoy your Saturday. PYB

Road Warriors

2011-11-16T04:31:00.001-08:00

PYB makes a quick Wednesday appearance, as we laud the Baltimore Orioles for bringing back one of the best logos in sports history. The days before everything was black & silver and selling team gear was more important than creativity.

--Any road win is a good one in college basketball, especially if you're Nebraska. The Cornhuskers nabbed a victory from USC Monday night in the disgusting City of Angels. In true Big 10 style, the final score was 64-61 in 2OT. Bo Spencer racked up 22 points, seven rebounds, three assists and four turnovers. Perhaps he will be the scorer NU has needed the last few years. JB Diaz chipped in 10 and 8, along with three blocks. We'll see what he does against good teams with stronger players.

We were definitely too tired and too cheap to stay up for the 930pm tip time and pay the extra money to DirecTV for one game. We'll offer our first game analysis after Sunday's contest against Rhode Island. The Rams lost last night to Texas in Austin, 100-90. That said, it was nice to see NU shoot a Division-I-worthy 45% (9/20) from three-point land.

--Kansas was outclassed and outcoached, once again, last night at MSG in NYC.

--The Mayor loses to Drake. Hopefully, NU beat the CyClowns in their pre-season scrimmage.

--Middle Tennessee State goes 10/11 from downtown and blasts UCLA 86-66 in Los Angeles.

Cart Before the Horse

2011-11-14T03:37:00.000-08:00

--So now we're penciling NU into a BCS bowl if they don't make the B10 title game? This is the same team that lost to Northwestern, at home, nine days ago. Have we not learned the lesson that as soon as you think this squad is in prime position, the famed Pinelli meltdown rears its head. Think Texas Tech, Iowa State, Texas...all in Lincoln.

Anyone banking on 10-2 as a given is like the hopeful boyfriend that keeps taking his slut girlfriend back after her latest foray into another guy's bedroom...only to be disappointed when she lays down for the next hunk she finds at last call. Just remember, wear a condom....and don't forget Penn State has one of the worst 10 offenses in college football. We are thinking the Insight Bowl in Tempe, Ariz. is a lock, since PYB recently left AZ after watching NU blow chances to play a bowl in the Copper State for four straight seasons.

--Enjoy Lee Barfknecth's latest Big 10 ratings, with NU only one slot behind a team it dominated two weeks ago.

--Speaking of Trojans, Doctor Sadler and his bunch try to push their season record to 2-0 tonight in the war zone that is Los Angeles. They also try to make it three consecutive wins in three years over USC. PYB is debating whether we make the call to DirecTV to add Prime Ticket to our package for this one game.....especially considering the 9:30pm CST tip. We did our best to track down the South Dakota game on btn.com, but the streaming service wasn't working.

Sadly, The Bouncer Andre Almeida didn't make the trip out west.....apparently his fatness has caught up to him and this season will be filled with nagging injuries.

--Joe Flacco still sucks.

--Vince Young still sucks.

--Arizona State has lost three of four, as expected, to help us lock down our season unders bet. The latest was a second-half meltdown at Pullman against Washington State, as the soft Sun Devils couldn't handle the cold--once again.

--Herb Sendek's ASU basketball team, though, is a 10-point favorite at home against the Arizona Mildcats tonight. Some things do change. Meanwhile, Tucson doesn't have one sports team to be proud about.

Enjoy your week....PYB

We Are....Co-Conspirators

2011-11-13T09:28:00.000-08:00

PYB chimes in after NU racked up a good win over Penn State in University Park/State College/Happy Valley, especially considering the week's events after the nation learned about Jerry Sandusky's going the 'Second Mile' to speak San Franciscan.

The win was good, because it was a conference road win over a team with a good defense. We'll conveniently forget, for now, that the Nittany Lions had the worst offense that Nebraska faced all year and that the Cornhuskers still almost blew the game with its requisite number of stupid and untimely errors.

The win was good, because it keeps NU's slim Big 10-title hopes alive. The win was good, because they didn't lose to one of the supposed superpowers in its new conference. Two more to go. Can the weak-minded Huskers bring their B-minus game two more weeks in a row? That remains to be seen. Let's run through a quick recap of points we want to cover, as we dissect what needs to improve or keep going successfully if NU is to finish 10-2:

--The dropped balls have to stop. With Bo Pinelli ill-advisedly hitching his wagon to Taylor Martinez's arm, converting third downs is critical. Catching the ball helps in those situations. NU had five drops, all costly....Kinnie x 2, Kenny Bell, Quincy Enunwa, Khiry Cooper. The Ghost of Niles Paul lives....

--We all know that no PYB column would be complete without bitching about Martinez for a couple paragraphs. His presence as NU QB still limits the team. His option running is sporadic at best, but his passing has been much better. What is inexplicable is why he is such an awful scrambler. If he could prolong two or three drives per game by bolting the pocket for 10-15 yards, it would be priceless to this offense. Again, his lack of vision and feel for the game hurts the Huskers. Oh well. 28 more starts to go.

--Why do we feel more comfortable with Rex Burkhead under center than Martinez? Is it because he throws like a man? Is it because he's sure-handed (except when Yoshi Hardrick whiffs on his assignment)? Is it because he runs the option like it should be run, makes decisive cuts and positive yards? Is it because we have faith that he will not force the ball into triple coverage. Well...all of the above.

--Instead of hammering Twitter two hours before kickoff, maybe Hardrick should watch extra film and quit missing assignments. He did, however recover the Burkhead fumble that was caused by the missed block. The Big 10 referees, though, did their best impersonation of a Big 12 crew and awarded PSU the ball without seeing who recovered the ball or having any idea where it was. Then, conveniently, the play was deemed unreviewable. The rig was on.

--PYB was impressed that the NU offensive line started opening up holes on the strong PSU front. Most frustrating is the fact that blown assignments are still too frequent and put the team in second and third-and-long situations. Obviously, not optimal for a team with a mediocre QB and butterfingered receivers.

We were urged by a reader to watch the play of Mike Caputo this week. Said reader said Caputo had to be the worst center in college football. We won't go quite that far, but in watching the film, we counted six times where he whiffed on his assignment entirely. Obviously not acceptable, especially considering half the time he is just helping one of the guards double a DT.

--It was nice to see Kyler Reed reappear as a weapon on the offense. Funny how utilizing an All-America caliber TE can open things up for the rest of the offense.

--As Reed re-emerged, Ameer Abdullah has vanished as a threat in the kick return game. He did rack up a whopping two yards on two carries, but after a couple misplays on punts in prior weeks, it seems the coaches have turned the freshman into the next Santino Panico--the human fair catch.

--Will NU ever convert a 4th and 1 this year? We would be fine with continually not converting, as long as Tim Beck would dial up a different play just once...

--Defensively, the Blackshirts were as good as they can be. They're fine against one-dimensional offenses. It's when they play good teams that they struggle. The line fought well, considering it's injury problems. Two of the team's three linebackers played great games. LaVonte David, as usual, was excellent. Will Compton continued his development as a solid contributor, and had 13 tackles. Sean Fisher was a day late and three steps slow, as usual. In all seriousness, how can NU not have more than three viable linebackers in its whole rotation?

--The defensive-back play has improved from early on this season, which isn't saying a damn thing considering how bad it was to start. Most disturbing is the fact that all but one of the DBs looks cluless when it comes to making a play on the ball. Penn State's first TD was the result of Andrew Green losing sight of the ball, losing his man and then flailing around helplessly as the receiver pulled in the reception. Too many times, NU's DBs were close enough to get to the ball but weren't looking for it and gave up the catch. Shades of 1988.

--PYB poses a question: What is the role of the DE in Nebraska's defense? They get slower each year. Don't contain plays. Don't make sacks. To us, it looks like they are there to handfight with their blockers for 10 seconds before waddling after the QB as he easily escapes to run for a few yards or complete a pass downfield. Annoying.

--Also annoying is the fact that Austin Cassidy SUCKS but keeps playing. In watching the entire game film, we counted seven major errors and then three more shitty plays that anyone with D-II talent would have made. Three of his errors came on the reverse throwback to PSU QB Matt McGloin. To start, Cassidy overpursued on the reverse action. Then, after finally recognizing it was a trick play, he ran back the other way, only to get burned by McGloin because he looked at the WR with the ball instead of playing McGloin. Finally, as the lob ball arrived to McGloin, Cassidy got spun around and misplayed the ball and allowed a big gain. Just brutal.

--Thankfully, NU escaped with the 17-14 decision despite stepping on its own dick numerous times. Thankfully, McGloin has to be one of the worst white throwing QBs of all time. Thankfully, Penn State's playcalling was overly conservative. Thankfully, Penn State took a page for Michigan State's playbook by continually throwing at Alfonzo Dennard, the only capable NU cornerback. A high school QB could throw jump balls against any of the other three DBs and complete 50% of his passes.

--On a side note, PYB sources said the PSU fans were annoyingly and overly nice. We spotted more mustaches on men under 40 than we have seen since 1983. We also feel compelled to let PSU know that having its band play the White Stripes while the student section hums/sings along for 30 straight minutes isn't cool....especially considering the band itself is terrible. We'd settle for Taking Care of Business instead...possibly....well, probably not....

Anyway, there it is. An unspirited column for a run-of-the-mill win. But at least it's a column. Two more wins needed to make this year mildly successful and to secure a decent bowl. Two more wins, and maybe we'll be happy. But probably not. Well, we're out. NFL action awaits, as does another 11am kickoff next week in Ann Arbor.

Live from the Black House

2011-11-12T06:32:00.000-08:00

Guess who's back, back again, with some pigs, tell a friend...PYB has hovered around .500 with our college football prognostications the last few weeks, but our personal portfolio has taken a hit with some ill-advised late Saturday night bets and with the NFL being the NFL. That said, here we go:

Kansas State +5.5 vs. Texas aTm: So is the Faggies' signature win so far this year their win over Baylor or a road win at Texas Tech? Not sure, but they've lost to every good team they've played. Meanwhile, KSU has lost two in a row to top-five caliber teams and is everything aTm is not. Hard-working, overachieving, well-coached. And somehow they're getting 5.5 points at home. Roll with the Mildcats. The money line at +180 is nice too.

Penn State +3.5 vs. Nebraska: Emotions will fuel a mediocre Nittany lion team. Their defense is strong. Nebraska's offense sucks against good teams. The fact that Tim Beck has gone to Andy Reid's dink and dunk passing offense in order to prevent T-Ragedies limits it even further. Actually, we're convinced Bo & Co. has done this just to pump up his QB's completion percentage and deflate media scrutiny surrounding his lack of game.

NU's defense sucks against all teams. Its defensive line is banged up. The players are mentally weak. Not a good cocktail for this shitstorm. Take PSU at +145, and if NU wins, you're still happy (if you're a Cornhusker fan). Throw it in a parlay with Kansas State's Mildkittens.....it's paying just over 5:1.

Oregon +3 at Stanford: We love Stanford, but we think they aren't used to the limelight and games with as much pressure as this. The evil of Nike money prevails, as the Ducks beat the Cardinal and fuck our season unders bet on Oregon.

Wisconsin -27.5 at Minnesota: The Badgers destroy bad teams. That's what they do in order to try to fill that hollow spot in their heart that comes from not being able to win a big game----ever. Hammer time.

Maryland +20.5 vs. Notre Dame: Too many points here. The Irish join Nebraska and aTm as one of the most overrated teams in the eyes of Vegas.

All for now....as we wonder.....were protests in the 1970s as embarrassing as the ones now? Was it just the nerds who protested, like it is now? Enjoy your Saturday....PYB...

Bono Plays Volleyball?

2011-11-11T05:16:00.001-08:00

Friday Foray

2011-11-11T04:43:00.000-08:00

--While watching VT vs. GT last night, PYB posed the question: Would it be an NCAA violation of NU sent T-Vagic to next summer's Georgia Tech Quarterback Camp to teach him how to run the option?

--Putting this link together with the game film, the 'safety who peeked too long' was none other than Austin Cassidy. How many games does he get to tank before riding the pine? Playing D-III talent in D-I games doesn't work.

--Way to go Huskers! Awesome job getting that 3.0 team GPA! More proof Cassidy & Sean Fisher should be walking to class amongst the rest of the student body--not losing games at Memorial Stadium. If they are so smart, why are they constantly out of position? Keep speed on the field, the team GPA at 2.2 and trophies stocked in the case. The rest of the student body is on campus to actually study and can make up for 30 classroom dunces who can run a 4.4 40.

--While watching the Raiders and Chargers last night, it's nice that Norv Turner and Philip Rivers saved San Diego fans the heartache this year by sucking in November instead of January and missing the playoffs altogether.

--Tom Osborne says NU fans in "Happy Valley" shouldn't wear red. Are NU fans part of the story somehow? We thought the scandal was about Joe Paterno allowing kids to get rammed in the ass on his watch without reporting it? We didn't think it was about a bunch of Husker nerds who always think the world is watching them. PYB was hoping for a forfeit by PSU--we're dead certain that a team that can't tackle the Northwestern Mildcats at home won't be able to gangster up in this situation.

--The quick and preferred solution to the Jerry Sandusky case is two bullets to the back of the head. Jesus, look at the guy's teeth....if that doesn't say "I like young boys" we don't know what does....

--Speaking of sexual deviants, Tiger Woods flew to Australia early (President's Cup later this month) to try to get a win against watered-down competition. If he does win, at least he can say he deserves the trophy....unlike like his spot on the Cup team--despite what team puppeteer Fred Couples and his lackey USA teammates are saying publicly.

--Nebraska's basketball team starts its season Friday against South Dakota. And NO, Bo Pinelli will not be delivering the pre-game speech. We are predicting a 14-16 finish in the inaugural B10 season. Brutal schedule, new PG (regardless of how many props he's gotten, marginal athleticism. Hope we are wrong. We are, however, very impressed with the non-conference slate: URI, Oregon, Wake, Creighton and TCU. We'd rather see 14-16 against a brutal schedule than a falsely inflated 19-9 against 300+ RPI teams.

--According to the cutline on this link, NU lost 25-28 to Northwestern last Saturday? Is this fucking volleyball?? By the way, NU fans should always 'brace for the worst' at Penn State. Loudmouth, belligerent, East Coast drunks are never easy to deal with....especially when there are 100,000 of them and when they all hearken back to when the program was good---1986. If PYB had one wish, it's that we could smack the dirty Pennsylvania/Maryland accent out of all their mouths.

--Finally, PYB recommends the ESPN Films documentary, "Unguarded", about basketball-star-turned-junkie Chris Herren. Unlike most of this ESPN series, which is overdone and overly dramatic, this one is great. A fun look back at Herren's talent and an intense recap of his 14+ years as a drug addict, as he speaks to different groups along the way. If you watched Catching Hell about Steve Bartman, this one is the exact opposite. ESPN may have just covered this because Herren played for the Celtics, but either way, a must-watch in our book.

We hope to return with our wager selections before kickoff....enjoy your Friday...PYB

Brains Over Blockheads

2011-11-09T17:17:00.000-08:00

As PYB looked back on what can generously be called the debacle against Northwestern last Saturday, not one play stood out in our mind as being mildly remarkable. The only thing close was the backbreaking 81-yard Mildcat TD pass after Ciante Evans was burned for the umpteenth time this season. But by that point, we'd been numbed so badly by Nebraska's lackluster play that nothing came as a surprise.

Not the missed tackles. Not the countless blown coverages. Not the missed blocks, untimely fumbles, or the dropped passes. And certainly not the lack of desire shown by the Cornhuskers in another game as a heavy favorite. Chalk this one up with mystifying no-shows against South Dakota State, Kansas, and Texas. Chalk it up as the fifth straight season with a home loss to an unranked team.

After returning from travel and watching the Bo Pinelli Show, a few more plays stood out....even though most the ones of NU getting dominated by a team with a losing record had been deleted by the puppets at HuskerVision. Let's go down our checklist, in a feeble attempt to keep this rant focused:

1. What struck us as most embarrassing after the loss was Carl Pinelli not being man enough to speak to the media after taking an ass-kicking from the team that Barney Cotton surely now calls "the real NU". First of all, the Mildcats beat Nebraska fair and square. The least an outmatched defensive coordinator can do is answer the tough questions and give credit to his opponent.

Worse yet, what kind of example does it set for his players? When the going gets tough, and you're used to being a bully to get your way, just quit and shirk your responsibilities as a coach and a "leader". Or, maybe it wasn't a bad attitude and Carl was just late for a hot date with a booster's wife.

2. The annoying trend of last-minute injuries cropping up and claiming a starter continued, as Chase Rome didn't play. Stanley Jean-Baptiste fell victim to the pre-game injury bug the week prior. Why can't the Pinellis just release injury info in a timely fashion during the week like everyone else in the world except Bill Belichik? It didn't seem to give opponents an unfair advantage when NU used to rack up titles....but now this all must be shrouded in secrecy so NU can preserve its best shot at an 8-4 record? Please.

3. Taylorina Martinez threw for nearly 300 yards on 28-for-37 passing. However, he rarely threw downfield. Even when Martinez is hot, if you're relying on him to string together 15-play drives with his arm, you're cooking a recipe for disaster. More importantly, the fact that he is a god-awful option runner and misses read after read and open chunks of yardage is a killer. It limits the offense severely. His knack for taking a five-yard loss when it should be a no gain, is lethal to scoring drives. So, once again, Bo's insistence on hitching the Husker wagon to Martinez is paying negative returns for NU. Only 29 more starts to go.....

4. Speaking of disasters, let's get to Tim Beck's play calling. To the uneducated fan (which is everyone not from Youngstown, Ohio), it looked as if Beck thought that NU started the Northwestern game with the same 24-3 lead it held at the end of the Michigan State game. We wish someone had told him that to play keep away and ball control successfully, that your team must have the lead.

Beck's plan included ZERO aggressiveness, didn't even attempt to stretch the field and put little emphasis on actually scoring until late in the third quarter. In short, he didn't respect his opponent and relied on them to roll over and play dead just because the Spartans came to Lincoln the week before and pissed it down their legs in another big game. Surely, Northwestern would fear the MIGHTY FUCKING HUSKERS and their 280 rushing yards a game. Not so.

5. While we're covering disasters, let's talk about an abortion--Bo Pinelli's clock management. As Pat Fitzgerald's team sapped the life out of NU with its final, 13-play scoring drive, Bo did not deem it necessary to use his timeouts to give the Huskers more time to stage a comeback after the Wildcats' inevitable TD. In doing so, he let at least a minute of game clock expire. If that wasn't enough of a kick to the nuts, he did call one timeout after letting 35 SECONDS surpass after the play. Amateur stuff. Embarrassing.

Sure--a comeback was unlikely...but $3 million coaches are paid that much to give their teams the best chance to win at all times. Efficient clock management should be a given--perhaps Pinelli could start playing EA College Football online and learn this lesson from eighth-graders across America. Nebraska did end up scoring, and had it gotten the onside kick, having 58 seconds instead of 18 seconds just may have been helpful.

6. After watching the film, it was surprising that NU got two early turnovers from the Wildcats and was moving the ball decently. However, they didn't close drives with TDs and gave the ball back twice. The perfect recipe for an upset...just ask Paul Rhoads.

7. Kenny Bell and Brandon Kinnie dropped passes. Par for the course. Quincy Enunwa had a costly fumble. All fine examples of NU players NOT making plays and costing the team dearly. A new Husker steps up each week.

8. During his show, Pelini seemed miffed with his defense as he lamented all the blown assignments and bad tackles. Evans, Daimion Stafford, and Sean Fisher stood out this week. Injuries to the D-Line have piled up, and can't help any, but the continued missteps in zone coverages turn eight-yard gains into 80-yards game losers. Are players not listening to Bo's message any longer, or are they just too stupid and untalented to apply the theories?

9. Rex Burkhead looked tired. He fumbled. He played hard as always, but Beck did him no favors by giving him 35 carries against MSU considering the game was in hand early and NU has a stable of young backs who could have ligthened the load. Especially considering the stretch of tough games head. So, because the freshmen backs all fumbled a couple times earlier in the season, they get no more reps in key moments even though Taylorina can fumble 23 times with impunity?

10. The pass rush still stucks. It is apparent (to all of us not from Youngstown) that it ain't getting better any time this year. Would it be too hard to blitz a DB once in a while...preferably a black guy who has a chance of getting to the QB.....and preferably we would like to see the blitzer start closer than 15 yards behind the line of scrimmage. This gives him a better chance of getting to the QB before he passes the ball.

Well...that's all we got. Sorry for the long layoff...rugged travel and work schedule. We PROMISE to be back for Saturday, to offer a preview of the epic game against the Penn State Packers. Nebraska took it up the ass on Saturday, countless helpless boys took it up the ass in Happy Valley the last 20 years...PYB thinks it's time to return the favor to JoePa as he makes his shameful departure from the college football landscape. The best he can hope for is to leave the field Saturday with an empty diaper.

"Be careful of these things, that you use....because you could get arrested, for sex abuse...."

All for now...PYB

Tell Me How My Ass Tastes

2011-11-04T05:07:00.000-07:00

As PYB flies off to AZ for the weekend, we offer some notes on various topics:

--A nice collection of college football information, courtesy of Yahoo! and the eighth grader who designed the page.

--A few prognostications:

Texas Tech +14 at Texas: Tech might make you regret this pick within two minutes of kickoff, like they did last week at home against Iowa State. But this is a hunch game -- TT ready to bounce back and Texas isn't very good.

Nebraska -17.5 vs. Northwestern: If the defense proves last week wasn't a fluke, the offense should be able to fall into enough points to cover this.

Oklahoma -14 vs. Texas aTm: We see this being another bottle blasting, like the one the Sooners handed out in Manhattan last week. aTm can't stop anybody, and OU's speed on defense should neutralize the Aggies enough to make 14 an easy number.

Stanford -20.5 at Oregon State: This is a 50/50 pick that we'll decide on after the early games. The Cardinal spent a lot of energy last week vs. USC, but Oregon State sucks.

Arizona -3.5 vs. Utah: Utah has proven they will never be contenders in a major conference. Arizona has a good offense and has shown signs of life after completing a brutal early-season stretch that culminated in Mike Stoops' firing. We like this one a lot. That said, Arizona 20, Utah 17.

Wake Forest +14 vs. Notre Dame: Vegas is giving ND too much credit considering what its done this season and Wake's home performances so far.

Missouri -2.5 at Baylor: Baylor is finished. We'd promote this one more highly if Gary Pinkel wasn't Mizzou's coach.

Oregon -16.5 at Washington: This line seems low, and after enough beers, it should be fun to bet on regardless of the result. PYB will just have to decide whether it will lift its betting ban on the Ducks, after they screwed us twice by a half point by going for two points after a TD -- for no reason...in the first half.....F U.

--An interesting link here, showing us all again that ">Shaq O'Neal is a drama queen, Kobe Bryant is a douche, and Derek Fisher was always a hard-working warrior who knew how to earn respect through actions and not words & media hype. Interesting how the NBA 'code' includes covering for teammates who cheat on their wives and rape locals at health spas.

--Speaking of drama queens, Erin Andrews always in the middle of something. This one takes the cake, however. Just get it over with and lay down for Playboy before you lose what's left of your hotness. PYB has never shared the nation's over-amazement with Andrews and once we saw the peeping tom video, it was confirmed her body was average at best. That, coupled with the fact that her voice drops an octave each year while she spews facts nobody cares about, makes her days at the top limited.

--Finally, in case you were wondering, Tony Barnhart is still a short-sighted, SEC-blinded idiot. He was irrelevant 15 years ago when he claimed any team from his beloved SEC would destroy Nebraska, even after the Cornhuskers put consistently major bottle blastings on the likes of Tennessee (twice) and Florida. How is he still employed? It's not like CBS still counts on the college football map, given that its coverage each week lasts about 15 minutes and that the clueless Tim Brando anchors its studio show.

All for now...enjoy the weekend....PYB

November Notes

2011-11-02T03:45:00.000-07:00

PYB is back after our unexcused absence with some quick hitters this fine morning:

--The win over Michigan State was a nice one. The defense played its best game all season. The offense did what teams need to do to grind out wins consistently in conference play. Hell, even Bill Callahan had that formula down -- for one season, anyway.

But we get the feeling that the win over the Spartans is like that yearly win over Missouri. Sure, they're ranked. Sure, they present a mild challenge. But, in all honesty, it was Missouri. A team with some nice talent but many flaws and a history of meltdowns when the bright lights are on. A win like that is expected.

This year's NU squad will make its bacon in the upcoming weeks, as we all know, with trips to Penn State and Bitchigan. The fact that the offense has been more consistent and that the defense woke up is encouraging. Taylor Martinez will have to keep holding on to the ball and will have to break a few big plays to get wins in both those contests. We shall see.

--Speaking of Martinez, PYB never thought he could become a bigger pussy than he already was. Then he started wearing two gloves. Unless you're Kurt Warner and throw for 400 yards at will, or Dirty Doug Flutie in -22 temps in Buffalo/Canada...there is no excuse.

--Speaking of Martinez, it is sad to see that Ameer Abdullah has recently attended the QB's seminar on ball security. The last two games, Abdullah has had a few bobbles, fumbles and muffs. Not good stuff for your biggest special-teams playmaker at the time where he'll be needed the most to flip the field and win games on the road.

--Barney Cotton. What has happened to his status as annual PYB whipping boy? Well, it's gone away due to the offensive line's encouraging improvement. And let's not call it anything more than that. It's still far from dominating.

But our question is...is it any coincedence the OL can finally open some holes once Cotton outsourced the coaching to John Garrison and Brenden Stai? We say not. Cotton's units have always sucked. And in year one with some real tutelage available, the line can actually block. You do the math.

--Twenty Blackshirts were given out this week by the Pinelli brothers. Jason Peter isn't a fan. We can see his point, when stiffs like Austin Cassidy are wearing the same jersey he wore -- when it actually meant something. No word on whether Peter wore his black jersey while banging crack whores in New York City while he was strung out. We'll work on that story.

--Switching gears...why does Carson Palmer need more receivers for his new team in Oakland? He does just fine throwing balls to the other team and losing games that way.

--Suh going corporate. Ouch.

--Funny that Georgia's administrative process worked at JUST the right speed to suspend its players AFTER the Florida game last Saturday.

--PYB hopes to be back for analysis before the Northwestern game Saturday. However, our travel schedule may prevent that. What do we know about this year's Mildcat team? They're 0-2 in covering for us.

All for now....we can line you up with a sweet Blackshirt jersey like you see here for just $59.95 if you're interested....

Black Saturday

2011-10-29T03:52:00.000-07:00

PYB checks in at T-Minus five hours until Nebraska kickoff, as we wonder which Taylorina we'll get today against those nasty Spartans: the shaky little girl or the overconfident teenage boy who tries to do it all and blows the game in the process.....anyway....we thought we'd offer some CFB wagering advice.

Several games look good, and that can mean just one thing: it's Black Saturday 2011. That Saturday where all the games look good, you're sure to win money and by the time 7pm rolls around you've gone 1-8 (with the only winner being the Clemson 2H overs) and you're down $800 and debating going big on Washington over Arizona....enjoy:

Michigan State at Nebraska: Really no clue what will happen here. Take MSU's money line in a couple parlays, though, as it may ease the pain if NU follows course against another Top 15 team. Since 2001 in those games, Nebraska is 1-20. The number we like most is the over at 49.5. MSU throws well, NU doesn't cover anybody. Cha-ching. It will be best to win some money on this 11am kickoff, so when NU loses, you can withstand the pain of eight more hours of action thinking about another lost shot at Cornhusker respectability.

Missouri +10 at Texas aTm: Just a hunch. The Aggies are still overrated by everyone across the country, but have rebounded a bit after back-to-back 2H meltdowns against Okie State and Arkansas. Mizzou has hung tough with everyone except OSU last week. Just decide if you really want your money on Gary Pinkel.

Oklahoma -13.5 at Kansas State: The Sooners blew their chance at the NC last week with an awful home loss. So, since this week's game doesn't really matter, they'll play well. KSU has had some nice wins, for a team of its mediocre stature, but the winning streak is over. To steal a line from a PYB confidante: this is the week that somebody finally figures out how to stop a slow, white guy running the option. Call it 63-20. Side note: A PYB relative, who could be likened to Mush from A Bronx Tale, loves the Sooners in this one.

Oklahoma State -14 vs. Baylor: The country has already forgotten RG III. Well, ESPN has quit talking about him. Anyway, Baylor is going back to being Baylor. And the over/under....it's set at a mere 81 points.

Penn State -5 vs. Illinois: The Zooker cashed in yet another season. Penn State is terrible. Somehow they Jedi Mind trick Illinois into thinking it's 1986 again.

Texas Tech -14.5 vs. Iowa State: Letdown game alert. However, ISU has crawled under the rock where it belongs, and dropped four straight B12 games. The last two on the road were by 23 and 35 points. TT will run up the score to prove last week wasn't a fluke and to move up the rankings until they play another good team and lose.

Wisconsin -7.5 at Ohio State: As long as the Badgers don't fold after last week's tank job, this should be easy. They're better than the MSU team that beat them and OSU isn't very good. Load up.

Stanford -7.5 at USC: Andrew Luck is unreal, despite what this fatass says. USC is OK, not great, and hasn't seen an offense like this.

Washington -4 vs. Arizona: Neither team can play any defense. 'Zona rode the emotions of their new, interim coach last game against UCLA for a blowout win. This line screams "Vegas setup." We've picked a lot of favorites thus far and this seems like an easy one. We'll have to gauge the success of the aforementioned picks before deciding on this game. Should it be Black Saturday, we'll go with the underdog Mildcats and watch Huskys roll, 55-7.

There you have it. Enjoy the action. Win some money.

Beating a Dead Horse

2011-10-26T03:47:00.000-07:00

Anyone who didn't think Taylor Martinez was a loser before shouldn't have any doubt now. This quote says it all. It doesn't matter if we lose to Michigan State? Even if NU was 0-7, it would matter. It's a matter of pride, wanting to win and not play bitch to a second-fiddle program from East Lansing that has never won shit. Never got it, never will. Only ~30 more starts with this pussy at the helm....enjoy.

Anyway, little T-Vagic has a chance to prove us wrong with a good performance, but he'll have to do it more than once to make us believe. And that, we all know, is very unlikely.

The most annoying part of this week's pre-game hype is writers who are predicting NU's bowl slots should it lose and saying the Capital One Bowl is a 'nice' option. No, it's a terrible option somehow made OK by subpar Cornhusker performances. A 7 a.m. kickoff on New Year's Day from boring Orlando. We'll pass. That, and a brutal Cotton Bowl game played on dead grass are all you generally need to remind you how hungover you are. But hey, at least they took time to design a cutting-edge logo for the game.

OK, Theo. Now win.

All for now..PYB apologizes for the spotty entries lately. The Minnesota win didn't deserve analysis--except for the fact that the Pinelli Crew butchered a rare and the last chance to get Brion Carnes some work. Duh. We'll be back later this week.

Looking Back

2011-10-22T03:16:00.001-07:00

A top five quote from NU football history, courtesy of Mike Rozier. "They kept talkin' shit, and we kept scorin'". Thanks to the Omaha World-Herald's Jon Nyatawa for some rare footage we'd never seen.

Not sure what the dirtiest part of the Metrodome is: The horrible turf? The filthy numbers on the outfield wall in the endzone? Or the fact that the grounds crew put the yard numbers on the brown turf in chalk?

While we were at it, found more awesome highlights from the 1994 Nebraska-Colorado game--hands down the loudest game we witnessed at Memorial Stadium. So many awesome things in just a few minutes of this clip: the fact that the rankings were called "The Bowl Coalition", Kordell Stewart choking from his first play forward, Darin Erstad as a sophomore punter, Barron Miles--likely in the Top Five of all-time underrated Huskers--almost blocking a punt, Tommie Frazier weighing about 85 pounds less than he does today, Lawrence Phillips soon-to-be-wasted combination of power, speed and jukes, Tom Osborne dissecting the CU defense by using (GASP!) the tight end over and over and over, the fact the Brook Berringer was a better option runner than T-Vagic, a cameo by Rashan Salaam...Heisman winner turned NFL washout and prodigious pothead, Eric Alford starring in the game and then being outed years later as a child molester (as an aside, we remember him as the stoned guy at the corner of the bar from the mid-90s), the shovel pass to another top five underrated Husker, Abdul Muhammad, Michael Westbrook (before he beat down Washington Redskin teammate Stephen Davis), Tyrone Williams (before or after he shot at a moving car in Lincoln's rough streets), Rae Carruth! (before he murdered his pregnant baby momma!) and--AGAIN--the crowd being loud as hell for one fleeting week.

Also of note is the number of home-grown role players that NU had from Omaha that actually had talent and were glad to contribute in any way possible: Clester Johnson, Reggie Baul, Tony Veland, Damon Benning, Clinton Childs etc. What the hell happened to Omaha high school football?

--PYB wonders what the effort at Minnesota will be like today? A good effort that builds on the overhyped comeback against a bad Buckeye team? Or a turd that has become a trademark of Pinelli against bad teams: Kansas, South Dakota State or whichever school it was, Texas, Iowa State, et. al.

--Is it official that college football is more watered down than a strip club cocktail when Oklahoma State is ranked in the top five?

All we have for now. The highlights above will likely be better than anything you see in today's NU-Gopher game. Enjoy.

PYB

Violence in Lebanon

2011-10-21T04:42:00.000-07:00

This is awesome. And then the players take a cue from the crowd of 12,000 degenerates in Tucson and start fighting because neither team can play football worth a shit. Then the smallest player on UCLA has to be restrained from beating the shit out of all the 325-pound Mildcats donned in pads and helmets. It would be different if he was In Da Club, we surmise....

The game left us with only one question: Why didn't we bet big on 'Zona?

Delusions of Mediocrity

2011-10-16T02:47:00.000-07:00

PYB was going to take the day off. That was until we woke up at 350 am and then read the Omaha World Herald's overblown and overdone mid-season report card of the Nebraska football season. It lists Austin Cassidy as the "Standout" of the secondary. No wonder nobody signed this article as its author? Cassidy? Who blew the OU game last year. Cassidy? Who stands in cement every game while receivers run past and around him for TDs before he even moves. Nice cop out with the "coach on the field" line. Seems we hear that about every shitty QB at Alabama and Ohio State who can't throw for more than 140 yards a game despite being surrounded by talent and speed. Wonders never cease.

How about Alfonzo Dennard, now finally healthy, who locked down his side of the field all game against Ohio State and provided the secondary's ONLY good moment of the season thus far? Oh yeah, and he's All-America caliber while Cassidy shouldn't be on the field in Lincoln.

--Sorry Scum Devils, still not ready for prime time. Never will be. The Quacks, pretenders in their own right, used a second half roll to stymie Arizona State and set up a match with Stanford for the Pac-12's top dog status. Our teaser with ASU at +20.5 was still good, though.

--Look at this nerd. Came to Lincoln and tried the ice cream. Awesome. Wonder if he experienced Lincoln's divine Italian food at the Olive Garden? Or the coldest beer in town at Barry's? Or the authentic Mexican food at Carlos O'Kelly's? Jeezus....

--This is going to be trouble for NU and its Poor Man's Denard Robinson.

American Idle

2011-10-15T03:29:00.000-07:00

PYB hates Saturdays when Nebraska is IDLE, or what is now referred to as a bye week. A bye week, even though there is no tournament taking place. Technically, it's idle, if you ever watched Jim Lampley read down the scores on Saturday afternoons before tickers existed and the only way a person got the finals on the day's upsets was watching ABC or listening to a shitty radio with bad reception.

Sure, there are a ton of other college games. But without a stake in the game for your team, there's no fire or anticipation to the day. Time to golf and gamble, and sure that's great...it's just not the same. Anyway, we hate it. So on that end, here some more things we hate from our "Shit We Hate" department.

--People who call us guy or pal.....as in "Hey, guy..." F- you, douche.

--People who bring their own pillows on airplanes

--People who close the window shade on airplanes so we can't see out

--Fuckers that lean their seats back on airplanes

--Realtors (Average IQ of 50, but are still cocky)

--Mortgage brokers

--The drooling idiots who sit in model homes and call themselves 'sales people'

--People who spray shit all over public toilets and leave it

--Dirtbags who walk around locker room toilets and urinals in bare feet

--People who drop three-inch-long pubes all over public bathrooms/showers

--Those who sit naked on locker room benches, with their nuts rubbing all over

--Those who shave naked at gyms and flop their crank all over the sink area

--Iceberg lettuce

--Cocky high school graduates. The ones who could never get into college and act like it doesn't faze them because they make $85,000 a year and have 2 Wave Runners

--Baseball fans that boo intentional walks

--People who bring outside food onto airplanes that smell up the entire cabin

--People who don't say anything when wanting to get to the seat on the other side of you on a Southwest flight. This is general admission, motherfucker, and I don't read minds.

--Free airport WiFi that NEVER works

--Cheap dress shoes

--Cheap dress pants

--Cheap dress belts

--Reversible belts

--Belt buckles that are so heavy when you undo them to take a piss the whole belt comes out of the loops and nearly plunges into the urinal

--Stoners that act like they're cooler than you because they know more about drugs than you do

--People who are so stupid they use apostrophe s when trying to denote something plural (apparently, this covers 95% of the U.S. population) Example: Taylor Martinez blew the game with three interception's

--Top 40 music

--R&B music

--DJs (any of the pricks that ruin weddings or radio stations. It's really not that great that it's Friday, or that you made it past Humpday and it's not that fucking bad that it's Monday morning either.

--People who stroke In & Out Burger like it's the greatest thing ever. It's OK. It's fine. It's not great.

--Slide shows on web pages with links that move up or down with each click so that you have to search for it with your mouse on every picture rather than just enjoying the god damn slide show.

--The scumbag live version of Eric Clapton's "Cocaine" with all the white trash clapping in the background and going apesh1t every time he says the word cocaine like they're being rebellious for listening to the song and knowing what cocaine is.

--Bands that you love ruining every song at their live shows by extending them from a kickass 2:30 to a nine-minute, overdone, watered-down travesty.

--When referring to somebody being a good person, saying "He's good people." Awful

--Public restrooms that don't give the paper towel option. Just the blow dryer that doesn't work.

--LOL, SMH, FML, LMFAO.....F U

--FM radio morning shows.

--Politics

--Andy Dick

--People who wish every one of their 555 Facebook friends a happy birthday on their wall. If you really liked them and weren't just trying to show everyone else what a great person you are, you would send them a private message, e-mail, birthday card or would have picked up the fucking phone and called them.

--David Spade

--Bermuda grass

--Crab grass

--Fans in bathrooms. They are loud and don't work. The fan's main purpose is to cover up the sounds of someone taking a dump and not exhausting the noxioius fumes.

--Chris Berman announcing the Masters and U.S. Open golf tournaments

--Tim McCarver

--Johnny Miller. Well, sometimes. Now he's so old and delusional that the self-proclaimed "Greatest Iron Player Ever" (with one major title) is good for some laughs.

--The fact that Monday Night Football sucks these days.

--Mesa, AZ

--Tucson, AZ

--Plano, TX

--Omaha (no offense, of course, to all our great friends that grew up and live there. It's not you, it's us. We promise)

--Dirty cities (Not to be confused with being old & having character. see above)

--Werner Enterprises (Ditto on the no offense thing)

--Playing golf when the course is not green

--Playing golf when trees are leafless

--Slow golfers

--Reality-show sluts confusing themselves with actresses

--Tiger Woods (as a person. complete fake)

--Lebron James (not as a person, just as a self-proclaimed "Icon")

--Karl Malone

--Kobe Bryant

--Eric Crouch

--Blaine Gabbert

--Tyler Gabbert

--The BCS (and the fact it fucking ruined New Year's Day)

--Ben Rapelisberger

--Any golf cart that is not Club Car (ie, Yamaha and EZ-Go)

--Gas golf carts

--PF Chang's (and the fact everyone creams over it)

--Chinese food

--Lettuce wraps

--Dark meat chicken

--The way food looks in advertisements with non-professional photography

--MSG (not the Garden, the shitty preservative in Asian food)

--ESPN

--Conference realignment

--Mark May

--Tony Barnhart

--Colin Montgomerie (In the 1990s, now he's just a has-been joke)

--Municipal golf courses

--The Lincoln Journal Star

--The fact that Nebraska never has cool gear for fans to wear to represent the team.

--The stupid, fat "Iron N" logo that the University of Nebraska insists on using over the classic, helmet N. Embrace tradition and realize the 1980s ended 22 years ago.

--The fact that Bill Byrne dropped the name Cornhuskers for 'Huskers. Hello, it's Nebraska, it's an agricultural state. That's your identity. Embrace it. You can't change it.

--The N/Huskers logo

--The fact that Nebraska football hasn't been nationally relevant since 2001 and may never be again.

--UNO

--Creighton

--People who try to equate the amount they spent on their education with getting a quality education and being intelligent. "You wasted $150k on an education you coulda got for $1.50 in late charges from the public library."

--People who say we're too negative.

All for now....feel free to send us the Shit You Hate....enjoy your BYE week.

SAS vs. LeQueen

2011-10-13T08:15:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Stephen A. Smith for giving us the fall off from ripping The Queen. All true.

And some words to live by for all you fatasses, courtesy of Bernard Hopkins.

Pic of the Day -- Scorpion Edition

2011-10-13T05:12:00.001-07:00

So Sorry, It's Over

2011-10-13T03:40:00.000-07:00

Wow. So now Bully Bo Pinelli has reporters running apologies where none is necessary. This is sad. This is not good. We cannot believe the Omaha World Herald's Dirk Chatelain caved.

Now, Taylorina has full immunity from his coach AND Nebraska media outlets. It's going to be a bumpy ride the next 2.5 seasons...or 30+ starts...however you want to look at it. Sickening. PYB can't imagine the Washington Post, New York Times or even the York News-Times kowtowing like this.

Go Cubs Go. New GM. Thank God the regime of the Creighton castoff is over. PYB watched "Catching Hell" last nite on DVR. Some interesting parts, but talk about overkill and excess drama. Two full hours on Steve Bartman, heaven & hell, Leviticus, Goats, etc. Glad we had FFWD level three on the remote.

So Nebraska loses Jared Crick for the season. Can't help the defense. But in all seriousness: Could the defensive line be any worse than it has been thus far? AND, could Crick have been playing at anything more than 60% if he had a torn pectoral all along? The best part is that now the popular theory is that Chase Rome is a star in waiting. Why? Because he has a unique name? Because he hasn't done shit on the field?

PYB remembers Baker Steinkuhler being anointed the next Blackshirt Badass on the D-Line and the guy is flat-out awful. The way he lumbers around the field gives Cornhusker fans visions (bad ones) of Mike Petko trailing plays by 15 yards. And please, on another note, can someone tell us when the last time was that NU had an impact player at defensive end? A once-proud pipeline of talent now forgotten in Lincoln.

Tiger Woods hot dog video, from his latest failure at a minor PGA Tour event.

Standing Tall and Stupid

2011-10-12T06:20:00.000-07:00

Delusional, as always. Amare Stoudemire never has and never will get it.

Speaking of things that ruin sports, an unsurprising accusation about The Devil itself, ESPN.

Fool's Gold

2011-10-11T04:40:00.001-07:00

Nebraska's football season is in no better place than it was before Saturday night's game against Ohio State. But it could easily be in a lot worse.

Players and fans both rejoiced from the school's largest come-from-behind win, celebrating a 34-27 victory that was expected before the game and saved the season for at least another three weeks when Michigan State visits Lincoln.

Still, we know no more about the 2011 Cornhuskers than we did prior to the contest, other than that they are a complete enigma that can play well one moment and horribly the next. They are, in short, a personification of their flake of a quarterback.

PYB let the win sink in for a couple days before offering its analysis, so let's bullet-point this thing in the interest of time....and because you've read half this shit 10 times by now...albeit from lesser football minds and the high-school-level reporters at the Lincoln Journal Star.

--Bo Pinelli filled his evening with his usual number of game-management blunders, the first being his decision to go for it on 4th and 1 from the Suckeyes' 41-yard line trailing 10-3 early in the second quarter. It was a panicked, ill-advised move that put more unnecessary pressure on a crumbling Blackskirt squad. One play, one missed assignment and four missed tackles later, it was 17-3 Ohio State as Carlos Hyde sprinted 63-yards to the end zone and showed the national primetime audience just how slow Austin Cassidy is.

Worse yet, after hitching his entire season to Taylor Martinez for the second straight season, he took the sophomore QB out on this play. He instead opted for the formerly effective, but now-little-used Wildcat formation and ran the play to Kyler Reed's side. Reed, a great receiver, is seldom (never) mentioned as a great blocker and whiffed on his attempt to kick out the defensive end. Blocking TE honors go to Ben Cotton, as coaches try their best to justify at least one of the three Cotton full ride scholarships.

Pinelli didn't wait long for an encore. With NU trailing 17-6 and 52 seconds left in the first half, the head coach decided to dust off the offense's vaunted two-minute drill. On the second play of the ill-advised drive, Taylor Martinez forced a pass into coverage and into the arms of an OSU defender for another crushing interception. Apparently, Pelini forgot that Martinez is no Harrison Beck and the meltdown in Madison didn't reinforce the lesson on when to roll the dice and when to swallow one's pride and head to the locker room with minimized damage.

Bo continued his latest amateur hour by dismissing boos with a wild wave of his play sheet....boos he apparently thought were intended for young Taylorina. This time, however, they were directed at Pinelli's lethal combination of arrogance, boneheadedness, hardheadedness and stupidity and not the quarterback. What the hell was he doing passing? Not even Frank Solich thought this was a good idea, and Pelini thankfully copped to the idiocy during the watered-down, unwatchable Bo Pelini show (another PYB rant entirely) after the game.

Apology or not, this could have been a game loser had the Buckeyes had a real offense. Maybe PYB is being shortsighted here and missing the bigger picture. The Cornhusker coaching staff did show improvement from the week before at Wisconsin: they handed the opponent 14 free points and the game while only relinquishing three points and their self-respect against Ohio State.

The second half started as badly as the first ended, as OSU took a 27-6 lead and the defense looked as lost as ever. Something is certainly amiss here. The defensive line is very slow and very bad. Cameron Meredith has still been AWOL since Chattanooga, opting instead to get caught inside on every misdirection play and to get dominated by the opposing tight end on run blocks.

LaVonte David, as great as he has been trying to make up for all the shortcomings around him, blew two glaring assignments in the first half. One gave up the long Braxton Miller run that set up the Buckeyes' first TD; the other surrendered the 63-yard TD run. His strip of an OSU runner did save this game, and this season, for three more weeks. We'll grant him some deserved leniency.

Yet another point of amazement for us at PYB is the fact that players were logging Twitter posts within two hours of kickoff. You can pencil Yoshi Hardrick and Antonio Bell as the culprits here. Bell is one matter, since his was three hours before kick and he never plays. Hardrick, however, is a starter and is tweeting inane shit just two hours prior to the game. There shouldn't have to be a rule preventing this. If players don't know better, they're obviously not cut out for playing on a Top 25 team.

As we ramble on, another question: Where was Corey Cooper this game? We thought his switch to cornerback was permanent? So a starting CB two weeks ago no longer can see the field when Andrew Green continues to be burned again and again? Stanley Jean-Baptiste was this week's guinea pig in the secondary and made a couple plays, including the INT that started the winning drive. He also chipped in a personal foul penalty, borne mostly from his inexperience than poor decision making.

Anyway, we'll give the offensive coordinator and his players credit here. Once they saw the opportunity to come back and eventually win, they seized the momentum and kept calling plays that worked. The "Diamond" formation looked great, and hopefully it is used as a staple in the offense. It gets more playmakers on the field and allows NU's scatter-armed, shot-putting QB to get the ball to them with less risk and more consistency.

Tyler Legate and Kenny Bell did a spectacular job blocking on Rex Burkhead's second-half runs. Bell showed the fire and domination that hasn't been seen out of the receiving corps since the 1990s. Burkhead was his normal, clutch self and was finally allowed to use his steady hand to take this unsteady ship into port for an unlikely comeback win.

Alfonzo Dennard locked down his side of the field like the Dennard of old, even if the other team's QB was as dangerous as Zac Lee during his prime. Still, it's good to see him move without hobbling and allows the defense to concentrate on the rest of its myriad of problems.

So, as we go forward, NU can get fat off by feasting on the Gophers in two weeks. What happens in the games following is anyone's guess. We still don't know any more about this team than we did before Saturday. Can they beat a Top Ten team with Martinez at the helm? Doubtful. Can the defense be fixed, or at least taped together? Unlikely. Would Nebraska had lost had Miller not been injured? Certainly.

We will be watching and waiting, surprised by nothing. Alamo Bowl, here we come.

Hit 'Em Up

2011-10-07T04:08:00.000-07:00

--Should PYB accuse the Omaha World Herald's Dirk Chatelain of plagiarism? Maybe....but a great read nonetheless. Bangs out 10+ solid points.

--PYB also likes this story. Recruiting guys from the homes of Eazy-E, DJ Quik, AMG and former NU great Mike Brown as well as Florida, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. See....how fucking hard is that?

--More from Bo Pinelli's tired bully act...

--Looks like another trunk-slamming weekend in NoCal for Eldrick Woods. Guess it wasn't the lack of practice time that was keeping him from regaining his top form from yesteryear. Which was 10+ years ago....

--Enjoy your Friday....and our track of the day. Energy booster for a Friday morning...

--Below are some guest prognostications...we'll see if this guy has any juice. His Week One picks were shit. His friend who sent them to us thinks Taylor Martinez is a good QB, so consider the source:

Boise State (20.5) @ Fresno State - Fresno State has the athletes and QB Carr can score some points but Boise State has just dominated teams on Friday nights. This is a tempting home dog but I think that Boise ends up covering this one late in the game...Boise State 41 Fresno State 21

Ohio State (11) @ Nebraska - Both teams coming off losses...Nebraska is now 1-6 ATS in their last seven games and OSU is 6-1 ATS. Nebraska's defense will come to play against a young Buckeye offense with a freshmen QB making his first start on the road. Ohio State is without their two best WRs and best RB but they still have talent...however, this is a tough spot for them as Nebraska will be well-focused after getting drilled last week in Madison. I think that the Huskers come back this week after circling the wagons and if they start strong, this one could get out of hand because Ohio State looks like a program that has given up on its coaches....Nebraska 28 Ohio State 10

Oklahoma (-10) vs Texas - This might be the lock of the season, Oklahoma is going to just destroy the Longhorns and Texas will be searching for answers...OU 53 Texas 14

Kansas (31.5) @ Oklahoma State - KU is 119th in the country in pass defense...the Cowboys are going to set some records...OSU 66 KU 20

Miami (7) @ Virginia Tech - Miami will do enough to cover this late...V Tech 20 Miami 17

Florida (13.5) @ LSU - without Brantley, Florida might not score...LSU 30 Florida 9

Michigan (-7.5) @ Northwestern - Same story as the last two seasons, Michigan starts out strong with a creampuff schedule and then comes crashing back down to earth. The Wildcats have the better defense and QB and should have a ton of confidence at home...wrong team favored...Northwestern 31 Michigan 20

Missouri (-3) @ Kansas State - Kansas State is an underdog for the third week in a row...but they won SU in the first two games and are undefeated on the season. I think Snyder has a defense he likes in Manhattan and a QB that has played very well in some very tough games...take the Wildcats...KSU 31 Missouri 28

Auburn (10) @ Arkansas - Auburn really needs this game and I don't believe in the Arkansas defense...Auburn 35 Arkansas 31

Alabama (-28.5) vs Vanderbilt - The Tide will absolutely crush Vandy...any spread under 30 is probably robbery...Alabama 41 Vanderbilt 6

NFL
Buffalo 24 Eagles 20
Pittsburgh 14 Tennessee 21
Seattle 6 Giants 24
Arizona 30 Vikings 14
Kansas City 20 Colts 17
Oakland 28 Houston 31
San Diego 38 Denver 28
New England 38 Jets 14
Atlanta 35 Green Bay 31

Succiona

2011-10-05T03:27:00.000-07:00

--If any of you PYB readers are fathers, and are teaching your son/daughter how to throw, please follow this link and look at the still shot of the practice video. This is perfect form and will lead to a certain full ride at the school of your choice down the road. Sprinkle in a lack of mental acuity and toughness, flaky disposition and the ability to lay the ball on the turf two to four times and game and you're looking at four years of a starting job. Meanwhile, Andrew Luck sits in Palo Alto and frets about his #1 draft status should NU's quarterback make the jump to the NFL early...

In all seriousness, is T-Vag playing catch with another defender in this picture or a game of 500? Another serious question: how does someone who sucks have a nickname in the first place? Most amazing question is: how is he surprised and mad, mad, mad about taking heat for his shitty performance(s)? Props to the chick in clase de Espanol. The link says he's ready to respond....God only knows what that means.....but if he's planning on taking the game on his own shoulders we hope he knows what a loss to Ohio State's Suckeyes would bring....

--Nebraska's top unit faced off in practice yesterday (novel concept since NU did it weekly during the Osborne era). Some results of the 10-minute tete-a-tete:

-Sean Fisher missed eight tackles
-T-Ragic went 2/11 for 28 yards, 2 INT, 3 fumbles
-Austin Cassidy started, blowing three assignments
-Rex Burkhead got one carry for 27 yards
-Jamal Turner DNP
-Kyler Reed was benched due to excess talent
-36 offensive linemen saw action. 12 sustained an injury.
-The defensive played without its line to simulate live game action
-Frank Solich thought the team moved around well

--On a lighter note, link to bum fight here! Not sure which is funnier: the punch or the guy's serious analysis of the squirrel's body type.

All for now...PYB

Taylor Martinez = Born Loser

2011-10-03T17:08:00.001-07:00

Well let's get to it, as Taylorina Martinez proves once and for all why he'll never be a good Division I QB. The spoiled brat act won't work anywhere in college, much less at Nebraska. Blaming the media for his three-interception & a fumble performance. We'll end the commentary and let Daddy's Little Girl do the rest...Tiger Woods would be proud.

On the other hand, Bo Pinelli's comments were open, honest and informative for a change. He took responsibility for the team's piss poor effort, in particular the defense. So PYB would like to recap the Saturday contributions from the starters and 'top' substitutes:

Jason Ankrah--One assist, invisible throughout the game and all of 2011.

Jared Crick--5 tackles, good pressure early, neutralized due to lack of help on DL

Baker Steinkuhler--Too slow to play D-I, yet to impact a game in his career

Cameron Meredith--MIA since Chattanooga, yet to impact a game against worthy team

Sean Fisher--Fisher brought us all back to the Cosgrove era with his woeful effort. One assisted tackle and at LEAST seven misses. Seriously.

Will Compton--Could contribute with right mix around him, but is exposed due to horrible surrounding cast

LaVonte David--Only impact player on entire team. Team MVP. NU would give up 50 per game, every game without him.

Ciante Evans--Too consistently burned by consistently wide margins.

Austin Cassidy--Been covered ad nauseum on PYB. Terrible player. Can't cover his assignments, can't run, can't tackle.

Alfonzo Dennard--Obviously not 100%. Looks like a sad end to a spectacular career.

Daimion Stafford--Lack of knowledge of defense being exposed in coverage due to bad teammates. Get him near the LOS where he can hit & impact the game.

PJ Smith--Blown assignments still trump his prototype size and body

Courtney Osborne--Where did his career go?

Chase Rome--Can't do shit on the field? Smash a paper towel machine.

Josh Williams--Why do all Nebraska DEs get fat and ineffective within two seasons?

Andrew Green--Is Erwin Swiney his personal coach?

Lance Thorell--Poor man's Austin Cassidy

Terrence Moore--Looking forward to his first meaningful play

Have You Seen This Man?

2011-10-03T05:53:00.000-07:00

Sources tell PYB that Prince Amukamara didn't look close to ready to return to the field while attending the Rams vs. Giants MNF game a couple weeks back. But we're willing to bet he could offer better coverage than NU's current cornerbacks--even with his broken foot. Judging by the other unathletic folks in this photo, we're thinking maybe Amukamara was recruiting them for Bo & Carl Pinelli's secondary for 2012?

Send in the Clowns

2011-10-02T04:35:00.000-07:00

Nebraska football was good enough for Barry Alvarez in building a program. Saturday night in Madison it was good enough for Wisconsin to destroy the Cornhuskers 48-17, as NU took its 16th bottle blasting in 18 games against Top 10 teams.

The only place Nebraska football is not good enough these days is Nebraska itself. The Badgers used the power running and timely passing that NU once used to dominate and demoralize teams, shoving it straight up the Cornhuskers' collective ass in a beating that was best described by NU alumni Fabian Washington's twitter account as "No Vaseline." NU, on the other hand, tried to roll out its Texas Tech offense in the second quarter and came up with Matt Cassell results.

The game started out well enough, with Nebraska mixing the run and pass and taking early leads at 7-0 and 14-7. Even when the Badgers scored to make it 14-13, it was because UW had been lucky to pull down some jump balls and continue drives. The Blackshirts looked like they had come with a Pinelli-type effort, with defensive linemen pressuring Rusell Wilson and defensive backs managing to stay within five yards of receivers.

Anyone with a football brain figured the deep passes were going to set up the power runs between the tackles in the second, third and fourth quarters. Wrong. Over a 14-play span in the second and third quarters, Tim Beck called 15 pass plays. Was he not around to watch Shawn Watson lose game after game after game in Lincoln?

The first interception was bad, but if NU was going to pass on that third down, it should have been deep down the field so an interception would have pinned the Badgers deep in their own territory like a punt would have. The second pick was inexcusable, as three run plays and a punt would have put NU in the locker room down six points with a chance to rest the defense and adjust strategy.

The third interception, on the first drive of the second half, when it was quite apparent that Pinelli & Company needed to shorten the game and establish the run to have any shot at all, was unfathomable. Moreover, how does every 22-to-40-year-old, who has played EA Sports NCAA Football from 1993 to present day have better game-management and playcalling skills than the meathead coaches pulling down between $500,000 and $3.25 million? We'd offer our coaching services for a mere $250,000 and promise we have bigtime connections in Nebraska's C-2 high schools to keep the defensive backfield stocked.

Obviously, we could go on and on and on about the shortcomings last night. Let's hit some more specific points, in order to keep this diatribe under 10,000 words:

--The defensive back situation is tragic. The only good DB is hurt, as Alfonzo Dennard continues to limp noticeably. He still manages to keep the ball away from his receiver. Every safety sucks, as they all miss tackles, consistently blow assignments...or both. PJ Smith, Austin Cassidy, Lance Thorell. The only safety with potential, Daimion Stafford, is getting exposed more each game as he is forced to take on more responsibility prematurely while not being surrounded with the talent and depth to ease his transition. Remember Dejon Gomes? He didn't start impacting games until late in his first season. Stafford has been forced to play from day one without a safety net.

--Bo's specialty, defense, is a huge liability. The number of holes on the Blackskirt squad is alarming. If they didn't have LaVonte David, they would give up 50 points a game--to Fresno, Wyoming, Northwestern, whoever. The defensive line doesn't have a player that is even average outside of Jared Crick. Outside of David, the linebackers aren't worthy of low-Division-I scholarships. Sean Fisher does not belong on the field and looks foolish on nearly every snap he plays. He makes Cassidy look like Ed Reed. The defensive ends are nonexistent, the safeties can't cover anybody, neither can the cornerbacks, and nobody outside of David can tackle. Not a good formula. In year four of the Pinelli era, how can so many key components of a defense be missing?

--Added to NU's game management woes are its personnel management. Remember NU's new starting cornerback in Laramie, Corey Cooper, and his "permanent" move from safety? Didn't play Saturday. So in a matter of two weeks, Cooper went from backup safety and special teams contributor, to STARTING cornerback, to can't even see the field? Andrew Green and Ciante Evans both look awful, but were good enough to start three games, then ride the pine against Wyoming, only to be deemed good enough to start the very next week? PYB remembers Tyrone Williams struggling mightily as a sophomore before eventually becoming one of the best CBs in NU history. Of course, he had a lot of talent around him to help him through the learning curve. Do Green and Evans have that in them, or are they overmatched, or is the Pelini system not taking hold like it used to? Probably a combination of the latter two factors.

As we said next week, healthy competition is necessary to keep players vying for playing time throughout the season. But when 25 percent of the travel roster changes from week to week, and players have no idea when or why they will or won't play, that will crush confidence and consistency in a heartbeat. Cornerback Antonio Bell, left of the travel squad Saturday, says so here. Mutiny can't be far off.

--Taylor Martinez played one of his vintage games, completing a couple big pass plays early, dodging first-quarter trouble when a teammate jumped on yet another one of his fumbles, then eventually panicking over and over when things got tough and melting down with three interceptions in 10 plays. Whether or not Martinez is the best option for the rest of this season is immaterial. NU will lose games it shouldn't with or without him, and they surely won't win a game against a good team with him under center. It is IMPOSSIBLE to imagine him as the starting quarterback and face of this team for 2.5 more years. If he does stay, it may just be the most painful span Husker fans will ever endure.

The sophomore is inept at running the option. Can't make proper reads on the zone run plays. Fumbles often. Can't read zone pass defenses. Throws a lot of interceptions in critical situations. Can't evade even the slightest pressure in the pocket. And he must be the slowest player in the nation when running in any direction that is not straight ahead. In all honesty, NU would be better offensively if it had any of the starting QBs from its 2011 opponents--outside of Chattanooga. Derek Carr, Keith Price, Brett Smith. All better. Fewer turnovers. Distribute the ball. Focus on getting the ball to the running backs. It's time to start whoever could be a long-term solution, obviously to anyone who is not a Nebraska coach--Jamal Turner.

--Even though Martinez is not the answer and sends NU into a deeper spiral with each bad start, what the coaches did to him Saturday night was unacceptable. Tim Beck refused to support his quarterback with the interior run game after NU staked its 14-7 lead. Inexperience, arrogance and panic all arrived in that second quarter. Most importantly, the $3 Million Man, Bo Pelini, was too stubborn or too shell-shocked to rein Beck in. Three turnovers later, it was game over. For the first time, Pelini had the Frank-Solich-deer-in-the-headlights look on the sideline. The only thing missing to complete the look was the wide-eyed, Leprechaun-like jump following the pre-game jet flyover.

NU has been badly outcoached by Fresno State's Pat Hill, Washington's Steve Sarkisian and now UW's Bret Bielema. Tom Osborne keeps raising the bar on Pinelli's salary, and Pinelli keeps lowering the results on the field. Other coaches play chess against Nebraska, while Pelini keeps playing checkers. Too many meltdowns. Nine penalties for 80 yards, with Courtney Osborne's cheap shot capping the night. Another negative turnover margin game (-2) on the road. Another embarrassment on national television, against a team that is not that good but doesn't beat itself. What NU used to be, even in the worst of years. Welcome to the Big Ten, they say. Thank god, because if NU played the Big 12's best team last night they would have lost by 55 points.

Most disappointing is that there is finally depth of playmakers on offensive, and they're wasting away, unutilized: Kenny Bell, Turner, Quincy Enunwa, Kyler Reed, Aaron Green (DNP), Ameer Abdullah, Braylon Heard (DNP). And, oh yeah, Rex FUCKING Burkhead....who got 18 carries for 98 yards while Taylorina got his requisite 20 carries that included two bad sacks.

The capper Saturday came with NU on the goal line, down 48-17 and trying to punch it in to reward all the bettors with the 2H overs on their wager card. After calling timeout, then failing to score on the next play, NU inexplicably let the clock expire instead of calling another timeout and going for the score one more time. In essence, quitting. Rolling over and playing dead--a trait that is all too familiar with recent NU teams. If you doubt us, just watch Dennard's post-game comments.

Has Pelini already lost this team? Has his hair-trigger-benching tactics for some players with full-immunity-for-others created a double standard that has divided the program? Who knows. All that is certain is that something ain't right, and it's something big. In addition to all the mental and physical errors, the consistent effort and fire is not there--not even close.

NU has a chance to get healthy next week by blasting a bad Ohio State team in Lincoln. Changes needs to happen next weekend...establish some defensive consistency and get the ball to those who can be prime-time players---not Martinez. A loss to the Suckeyes would be disastrous, but we're certainly in for the 'just another game' speech. Just another game of more poor coaching, poor throws, poor ball security, poor tackling, poor coverage. Send in the Clowns.

And for one more season, the 14th straight, we sadly say: Maybe next year.

Yo!

2011-09-27T03:57:00.001-07:00

--PYB offers a cool link courtesy of Deadspin, from the days when rap music meant something.

Let's have a real good time, Let's have a real good time, Let's have a real good time,Let's have a real good time.....

--And Taylor Martinez has a smug attitude like players did when Nebraska football meant something. He's so out of touch with reality that he thinks he's good and can make plays whenever he wants. We're braced for another embarrassing and overwhelmed performance Saturday night.

--Thanks to the Dallas Cowgirls for kicking six FGs on MNF, and missing the cover by one point. Bettors everywhere cringe.

--Blaine Gabbert's NFL debut went as expected, except for the fact that he actually threw a TD pass. The score, however, came on a Hail Mary that the coaches designed for him to throw 10 yards short of the end zone because he wasn't strong enough to throw it 50 yards. Without that TD, Gabbert had 20 attempts for 103 yards. Right on par with his career 5-yards-per-attempt at Mizzou. Pussy.

2011-09-25T10:43:00.001-07:00

pussy tyler on hand to watch blaines debut. Hows online college treating him?

2011-09-25T10:19:00.001-07:00

Sorry Blaine. -2 in your first start. Gash

Faith No More

2011-09-25T04:51:00.000-07:00

Alfonzo Dennard's return, one week before Nebraska's biggest game of the season, was supposed to shore up the team's defense and build confidence for the trip to Madison. Amazingly, though, Bo and Carl Pinelli gave players and fans all the more reason to doubt the Cornhuskers' chances next Saturday.

The brothers Pinelli gave us a Solich-esque show of ineptitude from the open last night. First, and most embarrassing, was the inexplicable move of Corey Cooper from safety to cornerback. Cooper, whose body type tells even casual football fans he's a safety, has no business out on the corner. It was an unfair move for a kid who, to this point, hadn't played any meaningful reps outside of special teams. The plays he did have under his belt were at SAFETY. A couple series into the game, Cooper was puking on himself at the 50-yard-line while the Brothers Pinelli were shitting themselves on the sideline.

Coaches say Cooper's move is permanent -- proof of their arrogance and apparent detachment from reality. Bo Pelini, even tried to big-league those who called him out for the laughable move with the "I coached Deion Sanders" card. Whatever. John Sanders is on Line 3 talking about how he coached with Whitey Herzog.

Next, in what should have been a positive switch, they moved Daimion Stafford from safety to nickel. The Juco transfer, however, seemed to be on the field less (couldn't find the participation chart on huskers.com) and was definitely less involved in the defense. Stafford had only three tackles. Not good, when he's one of only four good players on this year's Blackshirt unit and two of those are hurt. The move will hopefully pay off against better teams with more speed, where the nickel is needed.

Dennard controlled his side of the field, for the most part, but pulled up lame twice. Once on a long incompletion and a second time on Wyoming's 46-yard TD when Cooper was doing his Justin Blatchford impersonation. PYB is suspecting that coaches rushed him back and that the injury is lingering and could worsen. We'll find out soon enough.

Jared Crick didn't play. The rest of the defensive line didn't show up. Either that, or they just aren't very good (the more likely scenario). The starting front four of Cameron Meredith, Terrence Moore, Baker Steinkuhler and Jason Ankrah combined for 10 tackles. Not good, considering the physical edge they had over the Cowboys.

Austin Cassidy is so fucking bad he now deserves his own paragraph. The senior has parlayed what began as sympathy playing time into a career blessed with full immunity. Cassidy is burned at least five to seven times a game, costing his team stop after stop, yet continues to play...and play...and play. NU's other safeties are either so bad (Justin Blatchford) or blow enough coverages and tackles (PJ Smith) that this will continue. From here forward, this will be called the Philip Bland / Dion Booker corollary.

The entire Pinelli premise that every starting job is up for grabs every week is dogshit. Sure, it's great to have players push each other. But if a player can be a starter for the first four games, then have one bad one game and not play again that season, doesn't that show that the coaches can't evaluate talent properly from the outset? How do players who continually miss tackles and assignments and give up scores keep playing, while others are benched for less glaring offenses?

Eight paragraphs in, and we haven't even gotten to the offense. Here goes. Taylor Martinez was himself last night in Laramie. Missing wide open throws and underthrowing the ones he did complete. His receivers (Khiry Cooper) helped with a couple drops. Either way, Martinez's inconsistency is killing this unit.

For once, the offense is loaded with guys who can make a play and Tim Beck has no way to get it to them. Kyler Reed, wasting a potential All-American career just like Mike McNeill. Jamal Turner -- two meaningless touches per game. Braylon Heard / Aaron Green / Ameer Abdullah ..... can't get it to them in space because Martinez couldn't hit a screen pass five times in a row if his life depended on it.

PYB would take Wyoming's true-freshman QB Brett Smith over Martinez in a heartbeat. The offense would flourish. The offensive line could concentrate on its run blocking, since the focus would be on the talented running backs and not T-Wat. And, in a novel concept, he'd be able to distribute the ball to the team's playmakers on the edge.

Adding to that, Martinez continues to lay the ball on the turf. Nebraska has 13 fumbles in four games. Barely good enough against cupcakes like Wyoming and Chattanooga. Good only for a loss in Madison. Heard and Abdullah got in on the act as well, nearly fumbling the secure lead away in the second half. Inexplicably, sure-handed Rex Burkhead was continually taken out of the game when all the coaches had to do was feed him 30 times and get on the bus with a win. Even Bill Callahan was smart enough to use this formula on the road -- some times. That said, Burkhead still got 170 yards on 15 carries.

After nearly 2.5 seasons of the same, fans should know that the only reliable trait of NU's teams is inconsistency. Inconsistent coaching breeding inconsistent play due to lack of confidence and repetition. Players don't get the repetitions to build their in-game fundamentals and lose confidence because, game-to-game, they have to idea what's coming as far as strategy and playcalling are concerned.

Pinelli's over-substituting in efforts to 'battle the altitude' was laughable. Sure, it's great to give the starters consistent breathers. But when you're putting players in positions where they can't succeed, with no rhyme or reason, then it's a detriment to the overall performance. Just ask Mike Anderson how that worked out in the College World Series a few years ago, with Jake Opitz at bat and Curtis Ledbetter on the bench.

We've heard that it's all about competition. To us, it looks haphazard. We've heard that ball security is a priority, ever since the turnover-laden, home-loss debacle against Iowa State in 2009. Nothing changes. The program is centered around a self-centered flake who doesn't understand schemes well enough to succeed at college football's top level. And Nebraska's supposed hardass coach is rapt by his spell, saying every week "I'm glad he's on my team."

PYB isn't glad. Anyone who values winning over individual accolades shouldn't be. But Wisconsin surely will be, when he's fumbling and bumbling all over Camp Randall next week. It's what he does. And sadly, it's Nebraska's only identity in this first Big Ten season.

2011-09-24T18:00:00.001-07:00

Pinelli leading a brutal coaching effort in Laramie

2011-09-24T12:00:00.001-07:00

Pitt and ND---two bad teams.

Weekend Recap

2011-09-19T11:19:00.000-07:00

Another weekend of action in college football and the NFL left us with a little bit more money in our pockets but few answers about the long-term success of any of the teams involved.

--PYB would be remiss if we didn't kick off the weekend recap by lauding Blaine Gabbert's debut in New York. The Jaguars' future did his best to re-create the creepy Moto-X wannabe look that David Carr unveiled on league sidelines a couple years back. Long hair. Flat-brimmed hat. Stoic look on the sidelines.

That was, of course, until Luke McCown threw four interceptions. Jack del Rio called Gabbert's name, and the former Missouri QB didn't disappoint by picking up right where he left of in college with a prodigious 5/6, 52-yard showing. Perhaps the NFL agrees with Gabbert, as his yards per attempt were near nine, as opposed to the six yards in Columbia. We can't wait for his first start, when the other team actually is playing its first string. But if the New York Post didn't mention Gabbert, did his debut really happen?

--ESPN started its Sunday OTL coverage by asking why Tim Tebow is such a 'polarizing' figure. Why do so many hate him, they asked? We venture to guess that it's because the Devils themselves at ESPN jammed him down our collective throats for four years while he was at Florida and continued to do so as he made his way to the NFL. And continue to do so now....even though he is his team's third-string QB and played some snaps at wide receiver yesterday.

--Joe Flacco still sucks. How many years do we have to hear about his "cannon arm" and that he can make "all the throws"? The Ravens were dominated for four quarters by Tennessee, and Flacco completed 15/32 for less than 200 yards and two INTs. Matt Hasselbeck was the best QB in Nashville yesterday by a landslide.

Great to give back the divisional lead they earned over Pittsburgh in Week One the very next week. Remember, once Baltimore blows its second game against the hated Steelers, it's hello Wild Card weekend. And we'll have to watch Flacco's stupid-looking, "I don't know what happened" face the whole time...

--Nice debut for Roy Helu in Washington's win over Arizona. Averaged 7.4 yards on 10 carries and gained more than 100 total yards. What could have been in Lincoln had they fed this talented back and had a real offensive line and offensive coordinator to highlight his attributes?

Unfortunately, fellow first-year Redskin Dejon Gomes went out with an injury after making one tackle. Niles Paul -- surprisingly absent from the box score.

As for Saturday:

--Andrew Luck annihilated Arizona late-night in Tucson. PYB is glad we've wasted three weeks wondering if Stanford had the same spread-covering magic they had last season. After two bottle blastings in two weeks, the clock on Mike Stoops has to be ticking louder than ever.

--Michigan State is still Michigan State. They got run off the field by a bad Notre Dame team, still had chances to win, and pissed those away too.

--Florida State was overrated to begin with.....and if they're without EJ Manuel for any length of time....cha-ching on our season unders bet of 9.5.

--Nebraska beat Washington 51-38, but proved little. It was nice to see some offensive firepower, but we saw how much putting 50+ up against a middle-of-the-pack Pac 12 team meant last season. Nothing, in the grand scheme. The offensive line showed at least a pulse...will it strengthen in upcoming weeks or fail to appear at crucial times like the last few seasons?

--Taylor Martinez went out of his way to protect the football. So much so that he now embarrassingly avoids contact by dropping to his knees faster than a 200-pound sorority chick at the Brass Rail does for a walk-on football player. Is this seriously the new plan? The last thing he needed was another way to make him look more awkward and timid. Shying away from a hit that badly is just shameful. It does, however, win him the Philip Bland Award for looking like he took a sniper bullet JFK-Style as he crumbles to the ground--dead before impact on the turf.

--The receiving corps looked good, even though Martinez was just 9/20 after the game's first play--an option pass completed deep to Kenny Bell. Brandon Kinnie didn't play much. Not sure how he gets benched for a couple bad games when Niles Paul got four years of free passes during his god-awful tenure? We'll see if the receivers can get open against better teams and if Martinez can find them.

--PYB is reserving any further analysis of the defense until Alfonzo Dennard plays. One good sign was that Sean Fisher and Justin Blatchford played relatively sparingly. Hopefully, this means the coaches realized neither can play and will give their reps to players with potential. Now, just need Austin Cassidy to weed himself out. He did a good job of that again Saturday, adding some icing to the cake by dropping an easy interception. If the Blackshirts aren't any better at stopping offenses when Dennard returns, pencil in another rocky finish for 2011.

Special teams contributed several game-changing plays: both good and bad ones. The fact that almost every player on the NU roster shows flashes of brilliance followed shortly by flashes of ineptitude points not only to the team's youth but also to some glaring coaching holes. These are holes one might look past for a coach making $775k or so. For one making more than $3 million, the continued costly gaffes are unacceptable. They're the difference between being a divisional conference champion or playing in a BCS bowl. For the rest of the Big 10, playing in the Capital One Bowl with a visit to the Rose every 10 years may be enough. At Nebraska, it's not.

Success is in the details.

2011-09-18T12:25:00.001-07:00

Curtain's up on the Blaine Gabbert era in Jacksonville.

2011-09-18T11:24:00.001-07:00

Joe Flacco still sucks

Pig Farm

2011-09-17T05:40:00.000-07:00

Here are our weekly prognostications, after pulling some lucky, late winners both Saturday and Sunday last week to break even:

-Michigan State +5.5 at Notre Dame: What are we missing here? The Spartans have rolled in their first two games, and the Irish have lost to two bad teams. The money line of +170 is tremendous fodder for parlays. Cash for everyone.

-Washington +17 at Nebraska: How many years will NU receive too much credit from the Las Vegas oddsmakers? It's possible the Cornhuskers could break loose and cover, but we're betting that T-Wat will lay it on the turf a few times and keep the Huskies close. If Alfonzo Dennard sits another game, UW should be able to pick on NU's poor safeties and linebackers enough to put up some points.

-Illinois -2 over Arizona State: The Scum Devils lucked out at home last week thanks to Gary Pinkel being Gary Pinkel. They are historically awful on the road. Ron Zook will piss intensity all game and lead the Illini to a big win over a soft ASU defense. (500 yards given up to Mizzou last week).

-Oklahoma -3 at Florida State: We think Landry Jones sucks, but we're not sold on Free Shoes U yet.

Who the Hell Knows

-Auburn at Clemson (-4): No clue on the result, but we know the players will be undisciplined and the coaching will be bad.

-Pitt at Iowa (-3): The Hawkeyes looked bad last week. Iowa State dominated them all game and would have run away with the game if not for multiple turnovers. This game could feature more than 18 starters who couldn't run a sub-4.9-second 40-yard dash.

-Texas -3.5 at UCLA: A pillow fight of epic proportions. We'd rather take a handjob from Brad Faxon than have money on this game.

-Syracuse at USC (-15): Can USC cover 15 against anybody right now? Can anyone safely wager on the Trojans after the most crooked gambling fix in years last week? TD gone...oh wait, we'll add it again the next morning when Vegas calls us.

-Ohio State (-2) at Miami: Marquee matchup by name. Boring game in reality. Players on these teams are better at accepting cash from boosters and getting their dicks sucked by whores than they are at playing football. Bet at your own risk. Having money on Jacory Harris is a miserable fucking experience.

-Utah at BYU (-6.5): Both schools had near misses against big-name teams last week. The only thing certain is that these schools hate each other.

American Idle

2011-09-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

Back to the Future

2011-09-11T05:33:00.000-07:00

We've seen the future, and it's not pretty. Nebraska escaped an upset bid from fiery Fresno State on Saturday, using two big plays and a lot of luck to win 42-29. Let's get on with a position-by-position report card:

QB--This is the future of Nebraska football, barring injury, for the next three seasons. Taylor Martinez has tapped his limited potential, and Nebraska will flounder because of it. Low football IQ, careless with the ball, poor passer. If the play doesn't involve him, he doesn't understand. Taylor run right. Taylor run left. Taylor lob ball high for long bomb touchdown. NU has seven fumbles in two games and a -2 turnover margin, mostly because of Martinez. That won't work.

RB--Who knows. If Rex Burkhead can't get positive yardage most times, who could? The backs are met by defenders in the backfield on a consistent basis, which makes us realize how good Roy Helu was at jumping sideways and just getting past the line of scrimmage.

Running back should be the most important position at NU. Instead, as a group, they got just 17 carries to Taylorina's 15. Aaron Green and Braylon Heard didn't get a touch. Looks like a great way to burn a redshirt. Do these coaches have a long-term plan on using/burning redshirts? Never seems like it.

OL--See above. Watching the Fresno game once was sickening enough, so we haven't analyzed the game tape yet. However, the blown assignments and lack of drive that we saw in 2010 remain in 2011. The Huskers average 5.7 yards per carry, but that's severely skewed by Martinez's long runs, which won't happen against good competition.

WR--Quincy Enunwa has been a pleasant surprise. Brandon Kinnie, by our count, has had eight balls thrown to him the first two games. He has one catch, FIVE drops and had his hands on the other two but didn't catch them. We'd hammer him Niles-Paul style, but he's not a delusional, arrogant flop like Paul. We're rooting for him, actually.

TE--Glad to see that Tim Beck thought Kyler Reed was good enough to use, once they fell behind to the Bulldogs and got desperate. How many yards could he rack up if he had a QB that threw like a man?

DL--Got pushed around badly on Saturday. That 'depth' that you heard about--everyone conveniently forgot that Jared Crick is the only one who's played well in the past, so having five other average linemen doesn't necessarily mean shit. Cameron Meredith was expectedly absent, after padding his stats against a pathetic Chattanooga team. We saw nothing from him or the other DEs.

LBs--LaVonte David was great, as usual, by necessity. Will Compton proved that he may be capable of contributing in Big 10 play, racking up 15 tackles. Sean Fisher constantly gets mismatched against faster slot players and won't be able to compete against good teams. This will be a huge problem area once conference teams start hammering at the spotty defensive line.

Safety--This is the best of times. This is the worst of times. Daimion Stafford has been the best addition to the NU team over two games and had eleven tackles against Fresno. Whether or not the Pinelli brothers will admit it, they will have to move him up to cover slot receivers and help David once Alfonzo Dennard returns.

Austin Cassidy is still awful and misses more tackles than he makes. He whiffed on both of Fresno's first two TDs--the Devon Wylie punt return and the Derek Carr run. Shades of Philip Bland and Clint Finley. Justin Blatchford, the junior for Ponca, Neb., can't compete at this level. He is consistently beaten by four yards on five-yard out patterns, because he doesn't have the acceleration out of the break to compete with elite athletes. Time to bench him. Is PJ Smith really so bad that he can't crack this rotation?

Punt Coverage--Brett Maher has no problem kicking it 55 yards, but he has no hang time. This is a problem in itself, but when John Papuchis insists on peppering his punt coverage team with slow walk-ons, the issue is accentuated. If you don't believe it, watch Wylie's 67-yard punt return TD and count the number of stiffs who miss tackles on his way to the endzone. Apparently, giving special teams playing time as sympathy reps didn't end with Frank Solich. Games are won and lost with these units....

Punt Return--Ameer Abullah looked great. Glad to see Tim Marlowe back there in his place several times instead. More sympathy reps for Bo's fellow Cardinal Mooney grad.

Kick Return--Abdullah saved the day for the Cornhuskers with his 100-yard return. Get him on the field.

There you have it. We could go on for days about the playing and coaching shortcomings on this team. There is a lot of youth, however, so we'll wait until this unit is tested against stiffer competition to make a final judgment. Either way, it's certain they'll be limited by their offensive line and their quarterback's continual fumbles, bumbles and errors.

When Nebraska football relies so heavily on one player, the future isn't bright. When that player is mentally soft and doesn't understand the game, it could be downright dark.

2011-09-10T11:27:00.001-07:00

Any school that announces every first down via PA announcer is a joke. ISU and KSU come to mind.

Two in the Pinkel

2011-09-10T05:06:00.000-07:00

PYB is here to offer you all with some third-rate college football prognostications, in honor of the third-rate amenities at Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe. In case you can't make it out, that is a 16-inch Zenith TV in one of their 'luxury boxes.' Eyewitness reports have the Arizona State bandwagon celebrating the win over a middle-of-the-pack Big 12 team like it was 1996 and they were on the verge of blowing another national title chance. We offer you the recap of the momentous win from the Arizona Republic here--in a game that would be complete without some coaching gaffes by Missouri coach Gary Pinkel.

Anyway, let's get on with the show:

Fresno State at Nebraska (-28): After a week of taking heat about its lackluster performance against Chattanooga, NU will hold form with its up-and-down pattern and roll to a cover here. Cornhusker fans will be convinced that a 49-10 romp over a not-as-good-as-usual Bulldog squad puts Bo's boys back in the national title hunt. They'll also conveniently look past persistent poor play from the QB, OL and WRs. Either way, a revenge game against the 'Mighty UW Huskies' looms next week.

Notre Dame (-3) at Michigan: We are on the Wolverines. PYB has no clue how the Irish are favored in this road contest. The loss to South Florida was not a fluke, to be certain, as ND has consistently proven its ineptitude the last 15 years. If UM can provide at least some resistance on defense, they should be able to post enough points for a win. Take Michigan +130 on the money line.

Oregon State at Wisconsin (-20.5): Don't bet this, and the Badgers win 57-17. Bet it, UW cruises 37-17 and misses a crucial extra point for the second straight week.

Iowa (-6.5) at Iowa State: Despite not looking good at home last week vs. Tennessee Tech, the Hawkeyes are the pick here. Iowa State barely got by UNI's Panthers, which is better than they've done in the past against the outfit from Cedar Falls. That said, the 'Clones will always be the Clowns and should take their yearly bottle blasting today in Ames. It's the only thing they ever done......

Mississippi State (-6) at Auburn: Is War Eagle as bad as it looked last week against Utah State? Who knows, but bettors should avoid this game at all costs. MSU is feeling the weight of expectations and money will be heavy on them after Auburn's near-loss last week. Coin flip.

Northern Illinois (-4) at Kansas: Kansas is a home 'dog to a MAC (we think) team. Anyone else glad that NU took Bo Pelini over Turner Gill?

UTEP at SMU (-19.5): The only reason to make a wager on this game is if you've had 15 Coors Lights and are down $800 for Saturday or just need a reason to watch the late action. Feel free to bet either team and watch them fall down by 14 points within five minutes of kickoff. Fun times.

Cincinnati (+4.5) at Tennessee: Kirk Herbstreit has this as his upset special. Since the game doesn't involve Ohio State or ESPN telling him who to pick, we say roll with it.

Alabama (-10) at Penn State: PYB can't decide which way to side on this game. PSU's two-headed QB situation has to be on the verge of a meltdown. Bama's defense could be in store for a big effort and a vintage Tide blowout game of 23-10 that features two defensive TDs and a third set up by an interception at the one-yard line. UA puts up 136 total yards enroute to a 'dominant' victory and a top three ranking. There could be some money-line parlay value in the Nittany Lions at +290, however.

BYU at Texas (-7): Desmond Howard called BYU his upset alert against the so-so Longhorns. The only problem is that they didn't play that well last week at Ole Miss and won due to gifts from the Rebels. Texas explodes offensively and takes it 24-6.

If these pigs aren't enough for you today, we'll be back tomorrow morning with some Week One NFL boars.

Beaten, With a Club...

2011-09-08T17:40:00.001-07:00

Good nite Mildcats...Another bottle blasting at the hands of a slightly above average Big 12 team. But, really....Nick Foles is NFL material. He threw 51 times for almost 400 yards.

Meanwhile....in South Tucson...

It was only $200 in the latest round of Buckeye cheating. We think they should receive a commendation since it was under $1000. ESPN will surely lead the way exalting the honesty of AD Gene Smith for the most recent round of self reporting.

Thanks to Deadspin for the picture....which is likely what our bets will end up looking like come Sunday evening....especially if coaches butcher playcalling inside the 20 as badly as Saints Head Coach Sean Payton did last night...

From Lebanon With Love

2011-09-08T17:00:00.001-07:00

Remember this post from last year. Well, we weren't exaggerating. Thanks to Mr. Hagen for the tip.

Husker Power

2011-09-08T07:07:00.000-07:00

This Husker Nerd was poised and ready for the big game against Chattanooga....on the Thursday before the game....at the bank....in Dallas. The only thing you can't see, due to our shitty Blackberry having a shitty camera, is the dried sweat ring on his fake Under Armour golf shirt. Apparently, you don't get breathable sportswear for $19.95.

To add to his air of confidence, he was talking on his cell phone during his entire transaction at the counter, bragging to his friend that his wife is going to sue her boss. Hey, that's what scums do.

2011-09-05T15:23:00.001-07:00

Johnny Miller just called Webb Simpsons son "it". $

The Road to Nowhere

2011-09-05T04:30:00.000-07:00

As is our stated policy here at PYB, any Nebraska football game against I-AA / FCS competition is not worthy of a full write up. So, in holding true to that mantra, and in the interest of time, we'll bullet-point the Cornhuskers' mediocre (at best) effort from Saturday. We'll also withhold judgment on NU's lackluster performance until they face a team that could, in theory, qualify for a bowl:

--The offensive line looked the same as it has during both Cotton Regimes. We should have expected as much as soon as the yearly excuses about Barney's Boys started to flow. Within one practice, two linemen were on the shelf with minor injuries. Then, on Saturday, despite having 28 linemen on its roster, NU started a true freshman. So much for developing that elusive depth and toughness.

Making things worse was the fact that Nebraska couldn't blow a shitty defense off the line of scrimmage. Maybe a power run game will emerge next year.

--To be fair to the 'Pipeline', offensive coordinator Tim Beck's playcalling did them no favors. If it's possible, the rhythm of his gameplan was equally bad or worse than that of the excommunicated Shawn Twatson. The pass routes were even more pointless -- two yard patterns that had visions of Bill Callahan dancing in our heads.

One would think that everyone should have learned that not having an offensive identity was the main shortcoming under Twatson. His balanced offense was equally bad at the run and the pass against good competition, and Beck's plan seemed to be a carbon copy.

--To quote one of our readers: "Jamal Turner needs the ball, I am sure we will find a way NOT to get it to him for four years." Amen. Can we just blow this whole thing up and start him at quarterback right now?

--Brandon Kinnie dropped three passes. We're hoping it was an anomaly and not a sign that he will offer Niles Paul-type leadership during his senior campaign. Kinnie has had big drops before, though, and given his possession-receiver-type speed, he can't afford any drops.

--PYB put the over/under on Nebraska fumbles at 35.5 and -12 on turnover margin. After one game, the Huskers are on pace to shatter that figure. Four fumbles, two lost. Negative two turnover margin. Not good enough against a bad team and an instant loss against even a decent team in conference play.

--NU's best offensive player is still its kicker.

--Taylor Martinez is about two games from becoming Eric Crouch Junior. We saw no development in his game. Run fast, run straight. Any deviation from that plan spells instant meltdown. Despite looking terrible in the pocket last season, Beck continued to call dropback passes for the sophomore quarterback. In an overreaction to his freshman season, Martinez does not even try to read his route progressions and immediately scrambles when pressured.

His game in one-dimensional, and since the offense revolves entirely around him, so is the NU offense. His option abilities are akin to those of Crouch, meaning he can't time a pitch or maintain spacing to save his life. The 'option' is just an avenue to get Taylorina 20 carries a game. Unless there are drastic changes, the first good defense with a smart coordinator will stymie this offense with ease. We'll be back realizing that NU can't move the ball in big games, because it doesn't do anything particularly well and plays a QB that doesn't have the intangibles needed to win championships.

--Remember all those young, stud running backs you heard about? They got nine carries. Rex Burkhead got 11. Embarrassing.

--Bo Pelini and Tim Beck wasted two possessions with the game well in hand, where Brion Carnes could have been receiving semi-meaningful reps at quarterback. Instead, Martinez got to feed his ego with a few more carries.

--Seeing Nebraska run a gimmick offense (The Pistol) is sad. Imitating Nevada is not the ticket to winning championships.

--Jared Crick was dominant, as he should have been, against UTC. His tipped balls led to two of Cameron Meredith's big plays. Meredith looks fat. Not much else can be determined from the defensive line's play, considering the level of the opponent.

--Still amazing to PYB is how NU coaches let the linebackers get so bad. Daimion Stafford will need to be on the field all the time during conference play, so will have to overcome a sharp learning curve like Dejon Gomes and LaVonte David did before him. Once Alfonzo Dennard returns, Stafford will likely become a hybrid DB-LB.

Funny how the JUCO ranks of Florida and California prove more fertile ground for talent than Class C Nebraska high schools. Hopefully, the scrub collection of May/Cassidy/Thorell/Ebke/Fischer/Blatchford plays its way out of the rotation in the next two games. Getting burned by four yards on five-yard patterns will usually do the trick. If the Pinelli brothers insist on keeping them on the field, NU will lose four times. Keeping Austin Cassidy on the field last season lost NU the Big 12 Championship game. Well, that and Martinez's god-awful interception in the end zone. Anyway....

--As for special teams, Brett Maher looks great as punter and placekicker. Ameer Abdullah was the first non-terrible punt returner NU has had since Dennard returned a couple early in his career. It's a novel concept, but putting game-breaking speed at the return positions can change games. Hopefully, Abdullah will provide that true touchdown threat, full time, for the first time since Dejuan Groce.

That's about it. An uninspired game recap to go along with an uninspired game. Hopefully, the coaches have something more up their collective sleeves. Given their experience and salary levels, you'd think so. From what we've seen the last 14 years, however, it's not a certainty. Persistent problems remain, and Nebraska is still holding its course on the road to nowhere.

--And in the most shocking development of the week, Niles Paul made the Redskins' 53-man roster. Sounds like the Washington Post was as shocked as we were. We always thought you had to make a play or two to make an NFL team. Apparently, not anymore. Or, maybe a team with a Rex Grossman vs. John Beck quarterback battle is just that bad...

All for now, we'll check in after Fresno State. The Bulldogs barely showed a pulse against Cal.

2011-09-03T14:46:00.001-07:00

In case you wondered, austin cassidy still sucks.

2011-09-03T14:43:00.001-07:00

Status quo at NU: shitty offensive line and the best offensive player is the kicker

2011-09-03T09:23:00.001-07:00

Purdue kicker sporting Ultimate Warrior bands on his arms.

2011-09-03T09:21:00.001-07:00

Hawkeyes trying to wear down Tenn Tech with 15 play drives and FGs.

CFB Kickoff

2011-09-01T03:45:00.001-07:00

As the first college football Saturday nears, we offer a package to get jump-started:

--A Dear John letter from one pussy to another. If anyone needs a reason as to why NU football has been in the shitter since 2001, look no further.

--We continue the tradition of showing the nation why Kansas State will always be a punch line. Not that they haven't done it themselves with an updated embarrassment.

--And thanks to AMG, who at long last found a video PYB has searched for for years. At the 1:15 mark, Hayden Fry shows his emotional side and mastery of the English language all in one fell swoop: "Only thing I ever done!"

--Meanwhile, the clock ticks as the greatest game ever is slowly (or not so slowly) destroyed. Thanks to ESPN for the reminder. Click here.

First game's in a few hours...if you have any winners...send them to us here...

At Long Last...

2011-08-28T04:52:00.000-07:00

PYB finally offers up its annual college football season win over/under prognostications, which hit at about .500 every year. So pick the right teams with the right juice and you may come out ahead. First, however, we've got some commentary.

The Omaha World-Herald published its 2011 College Football preview, which covers Nebraska's move to the Big 10 in depth. A few notes:

1. One amusing thing is the hype on the bullshit tradition of trophy games. Can't compete for the Sears Trophy---ever? Put extra emphasis on some unidentifiable relics to make yourself feel significant. If you pass this quiz, your team is a perennial also-ran...

2. The OWH picks Iowa to beat Nebraska---in Lincoln. Not going to happen. This rivalry can't be manufactured, no matter how much Tom Shatel jerks off about the Heroes Game. Iowa must do something to establish itself as NU's rival, and an under-the-radar 10-2 season every few years doesn't cut it. No matter how badly the media wants it to be, they can't make it so. Does the OWH sell that many copies in Southwest Iowa that it needs to soft-soap its readership there? At least it's possible to share a beer with Iowa fans (most of them). The same can't be said about fans from Kansas State.

3. Reading about NU's year-end meltdown from 2010 makes us sick every time. Sick while realizing what a shit coach Shawn Twatson was and what a pussy Taylor Martinez is. Area scribes have conveniently granted him the "he was injured" pass, while forgetting the complete lack of leadership, decision making and balls that he displayed for a solid six weeks.

4. Jamal Turner ceased taking snaps at QB, supposedly because NU added Anthony Ridder after another career-long scrub hurt his knee. Huh? Anyway, the OWH offered a nice roster breakdown here. Quick questions:

--How can NU be so horrible at LB outside of LaVonte David? Sean Fisher, Will Compton, Jim Ebke, Graham Stoddard, Trevor Roach and their Class C-2 resumes don't exactly conjure visions of Michael Barrow, Ray Lewis and Jon Vilma.

--How can they have ONE wide receiver who has any meaningful experience?

--How can they have 28 (seriously) offensive linemen listed and not be able to field five who can stay healthy and block someone? On that note, here's 2011's first FUCK YOU to Barney Cotton.

--How can NU's defensive line be called its strength when it has exactly ONE player who has shown that he can play at an above-average level? (@whitemamba9fo)

--How many fumbles will NU cough up this season and what is the over under on their turnover margin? We say 32 and -12.

5. Collins Okafor carries a 3.475 in biological sciences. Apparently, he overrated his ability on the field when he pulled his Eric Crouch "Run Home to Omaha Like a Baby" move a couple years back.

6. Finally, hats off from PYB to Anthony Blue. The former highly-acclaimed recruit out of Cedar Hill, Tex. has decided to hang it up due to a chronic knee injury.

So....let's get to it. We'll save you a pointless Top 25 ranking, when there are probably only three good teams in the country anyway, and nobody knows who they are and won't until mid-October...

Over
UNLV (2.5) -- No idea who they play. No idea how bad they are. Just know that they will be playing the late game on several occasions and we'll be blasted. It's either go to bed or find a reason to stay up until 1am. Rooting for the Rebels will do just fine.

Stanford (8.5) -- What we saw from Andrew Luck last season is enough to think the Cardinal won't lose more than three of its five losable games.

Texas A&M (8.5) -- We had the over penciled in before the SEC rumors ran rampant. If they get tabbed for a sayonara fuck job like Nebraska did last season, it would spell trouble. If the Aggies can win at least one of two against Arkansas and Okie State their first four games, 9-3 should be good.

Virginia Tech (10) -- This pick got stronger as the best team on the Hokie schedule, Miami, is now likely to be paralyzed by suspensions. The rest of the slate is a combination of bad teams (ie Arkansas State and Virginia) and horribly mediocre FCS & ACC teams (Appalachian State & Georgia Tech). Frank Beamer will again have VT ready, despite the loss of QB Tupac Taylor -- one of the more overrated players at his position in recent college football days. Unless you're Matt O'Hanlon, of course.

Wisconsin (9) -- Consider a horrible non-conference schedule (UNLV, Oregon State, Northern Illinois and South Dakota) and the fact that the Badgers only have four losable games. 9-3 at worst.

USC (7.5) -- Add the fact that the Trojans still have a tremendous depth of talent to the fact that Matt Barkley will be in his third year as USC's QB, and you've got at least 8-4 in the books. The Trojans start off with a favorable early run with Minnesota, Utah and Syracuse at home, followed by perennial choker Arizona State next in Tempe. There are a few possible bumps later, but USC will outclass most of them and we have a sneaking suspicion Lane Kiffin might get them rolling. Sure, he's a douche, but he'll rack up some wins.

Miami (8.5) -- We had the 'Canes pegged for the overs before all hell broke loose in Coral Gables. Funny that the world is shocked that UM players were banging whores and getting free booze. Jacory Harris was shaky, at best, before being thrown into this bright spotlight. Line is off the board now, as everyone outside Miami roots for them to get the death penalty, even though The U hasn't been above average for seven years.

TCU (9.5) -- Three losable games and nine cupcakes. If the Frogs can win one of those three, you're golden.

Michigan State (7.5) -- Can Sparty keep the momentum from last season going? MSU has three games it probably won't win if you take this over: at Ohio State, Wisconsin and at Nebraska. If they can avoid stubbing their toe against both Notre Dame and Michigan, eight wins is a lock. And we all know anything is possible when it comes to the Spartans on Saturdays.

Penn State (7.5) -- If the Lions can get through its murderer's row of Indiana State, Temple, Eastern Michigan, Indiana and Purdue, they would need just three more wins against Alabama, Iowa, Northwestern, Illinois, Nebraska, Ohio State and Wisconsin to get to eight. Improved QB play would make it possible. Stalled development, and it's hello 6-6.

Michigan (7.5) -- With a shred of defense, the Wolves have a chance to be 5-0 if they can just get by MIGHTY Notre Dame in Ann Arbor. After that, three more wins against Northwestern, Michigan State, Purdue, Iowa and Illinois would get them to eight. If Brady Hoke is indeed stupid enough to bury Denard Robinson under center, then all bets are off.

Oklahoma (10.5)-- If the Sooners can get past FSU in their second game, they don't face another good team until Texas A&M in game nine and nothing until Bedlam in the final week against Okie State in the high school stadium that T. Boone Pickens donated $1 billion for.

Under
Alabama (10) -- Schedule filled with potential potholes. Lost three games last year. No Julio Jones or Mark Ingram. Under.

Boise State (10.5) -- It all hinges on game one in Athens against the Dawgs. We're betting on a loss.

LSU (9.5) -- Now off the board, we had them for the under prior to the Showdown at Shady's with the US Marine Corps. An inconsistent team and a schedule with eight losable games.

South Carolina (9) -- The Michigan State of the SEC--the Cocks could fuck up a wet dream. Steve Spurrier's squad is blessed with a favorable schedule for SEC standards but will still lose four times.

Arkansas (8.5) -- The Flavor of the Week is that the 'Hogs could be better without Ryan Mallett, who looked like an extra from 8 Mile during his Fayetteville career. Well, star RB Knile Davis (this name makes us think MooseKnuckle every time) torched his ankle in the first week of practice and is out for the season. Couple that with games at aTm, LSU and Bama and four losses is a given.

Georgia (8.5) -- Will the Dawgs ever be back? A favorable schedule gives them only games against borderline Top 25 conference teams and bottom feeders. However, Mark Richt's team isn't stable enough to keep from stumbling, and if you take these unders along with Boise, one of the teams is starting with a loss right out of the gate.

Oklahoma State (8.5) -- Expectations in Stillwater? Bet on the flop now and take your money to the bank!

Florida State (9.5) -- Apparently, FSU is again a Top 5 team. Funny, since they haven't been good for years. We tried to look it up, but the Noles' web site sucks dick and after searching through the past three seasons we gave up. Just so you know, they've lost three, four and five games those past three years.

Arizona State (8) -- The Sun Devils are awful on the road and travel to Illinois, Utah, Oregon, UCLA and Washington State. They've already been fighting each other in the locker room after practice, and Dennis Erickson is covering up the actions of the team's best player and resident thug Vontaze Burfict. Not only did he cold-cock his teammate, he reportedly has been in several near-scraps at the campus rec center. Sounds like a leader cut from the same cloth Towel Boy Rudy Carpenter, who will surely pull the Devils through the tough battles this fall. Eleven losable games in total. Book it.

Notre Dame (8.5) -- Lookie here, the national media idiots are calling for a breakout season. The Domers have no talent. Haven't for years. Taking the unders on the Irrelevant Irish means you need just four losses from the following: South Florida, at Michigan, Michigan State, at Pitt, at Purdue (a peer team), USC, Navy (owns ND), at Wake Forest, Maryland, Boston College and at Stanford. Cha-ching.

Texas (8.5) -- A team that was lucky to go 5-7 last year is listed at 8.5? The Longhorns cleaned house on their coaching staff but it won't matter. They're devoid of any offensive playmakers or offensive identity. The defense is soft. UT is the most underachieving program in CFB history, given the buckets of Five-Stars they sign each year. Does the Longhorn Network have a carrier in Texas yet?

Missouri (7.5) -- Either Mizzou had its run and is set for 4-8, or Bill Simmons' Ewing Theory will prove true in epic proportions. As all evidence of the Pussies Gabbert exit Columbia, the team finds some focus and toughness it couldn't muster with two women under center and puts together a solid season. PYB's sources said the team is ready to follow new QB James Franklin. Speaking of shitty web sites...

Oregon (9.5) -- Just a thought, after remembering how the Ducks were manhandled up front by Auburn in January. We still don't know shit about flag football, the type they play up there in Eugene. A style as fake as its financial backer, Nike, minus the New Delhi sweatshops and poorly made shoes. Anyway, we just think it's a year for the Ducks to believe their own headlines, relax and slip a bit downward. Hopefully, this will diminish the arrogance of their falsely-confident fans in their $329 North Face fleeces.

Who the Hell KnowsUtah (7.5) -- Will the Utes prove they belong with the big boys, or will they melt under the pressure of a schedule with more than two challenging games?

Nevada (8.5) -- Even though QB Colin Kaepernick was hugely overrated (enough so that some idiots are predicting he become a legitimate NFL player), it can't help the Wolpack as they start on the road for three of their first four games at Oregon, Texas Tech and Boise State. What follows is a bunch of WAC stiffs, but there is too much uncertainty here to make a wager either way.

Florida (8) -- Is it just us, or is it hard just looking at Will Muschamp's doughy fucking face?

Auburn (6.5) -- How long until War Eagle is on probation following Cam Newton's slimy career?

Tennessee (6.5) -- Do the Vols still play football?

North Carolina (8.5) -- Does anyone in the country have an opinion one way or the other on UNC football?

West Virginia (9) -- Is Pat White still their quarterback? Amos Zereoue is money too. Is that old guy still their coach?

Oregon State (6) -- No clue.

BYU (8.5) -- Ditto, even though the Cougars will play a big role in several of the aforementioned wagers.

Live from Au$tin

2011-08-27T08:04:00.001-07:00

ESPN Gameday season preview live from Austin. What a fucking embarrassment!!! All we need now is: "You are looking LIIIIVE at the empty quad from the campus of the 5-7, bowl-less Texas Longhorns! The most underachieving program in college football history."

This is one more swirl for college football as it continues to circle its way down the shitter. Money, greed, and entitlement ruin what used to be the unquestioned King of Sports.

Does the Longhorn Network have any carriers yet?

Saturday

2011-08-27T04:45:00.000-07:00

--Safe to say these guys wouldn't have had the shit kicked out of them by the Chinese Rockets...

--Anyone who bets on high school football games has to be crazy. It's impossible in these days of watered-down college football to bet on 18-22 year olds who all think they're NFL material, much less 16 and 17-year-olds...However, if anyone comes across a 5-Star lock, let us know... We would almost feel bad, with HS FB being so pure and all -- with it's $68 million stadiums in Allen, Tex. and kids that transfer with the wind...

--Looks like Agent Zero was fucking with the wrong teammate a couple years back.

--Fantasy football is near, and it still sucks. And for the AFC.

--Another zero-catch night for the self-anointed playmaker Niles Paul. Hello, Omaha Beef!

CFB Live = Laughable

2011-08-25T15:57:00.000-07:00

--PYB just wasted 10 minutes watching ESPN's College Football Live break down the Big 10 for 2011. After a solid anaylsis for 9 1/2 minutes, Kirk Herbstreit decided to call for an Iowa vs. Ohio State matchup in Indianapolis. Not to mention raving about how loaded the Suckeyes are despite losing their scatter-armed QB Terrelle Pryor.

Sure, opinions are like assholes. But Iowa is going to win the Legends Division because they are a distant third-best team? And Ohio State is a lock to win the Leaders despite losing its top three offensive players for at least five games. Sound logic. Of course, the mighty Buckeyes will prevail in Indy, says Kirk.

Is Herbstreit that delusional, or has he achieved 100% puppet status in Bristol?

--In addition, we just read Bo Pinelli's recap of freshmen who might contribute in 2011. He said receiver Taariq Allen is good enough to play right now but may redshirt due to "depth." NU has one receiver who has more than a handful of career receptions.

--Barney Cotton yesterday admitted butchering Andrew Rodriguez's freshman year by pulling his redshirt, as the lineman only played 60-70 snaps. When will he admit to butchering NU's offense and offensive line during both his tenures at NU (in addition to admitting extoring UNL out of three valuable scholarships)?

--Sean Fisher is now taking snaps at middle linebacker to learn the role so he can also help at that position. Translation: he's so god-damn bad that the NU coaches can't even sell his presence as a Blackshirt any more. If you don't believe us, just watch one series when number 42 is in the game.

--So now the Nebraska basketball team will have a refrigerator that can dunk and The Bouncer, Andre Almeida. Toss in The Pansy JB Diaz and the Huskers may set a record for near-seven-footers playing below the rim.

--LSU players in trouble for beating the shit out of some locals. Meathead football players against jarhead Marines. We'll side with the football players every time in the matchup of alibis, personalities and IQ tests. Maybe we are wrong, but we're quite certain there are no "victims" here and that everyone got what they ultimately deserved. Lastly, is there any better place for a bar brawl than a shithole strip mall bar named Shady's? Been there, done that. Many thanks to the LSU Reveille.

--Finally, PYB would be remiss if we didn't mention Pat Perez's latest meltdown. Impressive scorecard (at least he broke 80), and another WD. Way to show some guts by playing round two before slamming the trunk on Friday. We'd expect nothing less, however, from this noted douchebag---the same guy who stiffed The King, Arnold Palmer, in favor of a champagne bottle after winning his tournament and nearly tore Pebble Beach in half when he choked off the AT&T years back (thanks Sports Illustrated).

Stay tuned for our CFB preview....still to come....we promise....

NFL Live = Unwatchable

2011-08-23T04:27:00.000-07:00

We can add videos one and two to the litany of reasons that going to an NFL game is miserable. We'll remain mum about the demographics of the scums doing the brawling. Wouldn't it be cheaper, however, to just skip buying the ticket and the $10 beers and just have a gang fight in the shittiest part of town?

Hell, we'd all benefit from this, as Gangland reruns on the ID Network could certainly get better video than a dirtbag with a knockoff Smartphone from Boost Mobile. Most hilarious are the ridiculously outdated 49er jerseys: from Montana to Watters to Rice.

But hey, if you enjoy seven-minute TV timeouts, $10 beers, a fan base with an IQ level quickly sinking below that of a NASCAR race, outrageous ticket prices and missing every other NFL game that day, who are we to stop you from going?

Cholo! One more vid for good measure... For those of you who can still read, feel free to skim the San Francisco Chronicle recap here. It also includes a story claiming SF is rated among the Top 5 cities for casual sex. We are shocked.

Run Roy

2011-08-20T04:01:00.000-07:00

PYB liked to see Roy Helu rack up 101 rushing yards on 14 carries last night in Indianapolis, although the Washington Post didn't think it was worth mentioning in its game story. The former Cornhusker, who is surely one of the most underutilized talents to ever play in Lincoln, also caught four passes for 23 yards.

And unsurprisingly, Helu's temporary teammate Niles Paul was absent from the receiving column of the box score. Not a big deal on its own, but considering 13 other Redskins caught at least one pass it proves a lot. Hell, former Husker and PYB favorite Chris Brooks even caught a ball for the opposing Colts!

Surely, however, Paul was a dominant team leader in his own mind last night. Who else could return four punts and average nine yards per? Cut day looms large for perhaps the most overhyped Husker ever.

Ding Dong

2011-08-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

It came four years too late, but the Cubs finally fired GM Jim Hendry. It took a Creighton man to turn the the Cubbies into a bigger laughing stock than they had been since 1908. We'll see if the latest owners, also proud Omahans, can turn the ship around. If they can get a Cheesecake Factory to River City, they may be able to pull off anything!

So Confuse

2011-08-19T04:31:00.000-07:00

--Just in time for the start of the 2011 Nebraska football season, Barney Cotton starts prepping Cornhusker fans with reasons while his line will once again fail to meet expectations.

Yesterday, we learned that FIVE of his 'studs' are crippled with minor injuries. Today, we're warned about the lack of depth at center. Apparently, the entourage of assistants he's been given can't even overcome Cotton's lack of leadership.

And what's even more apparent is that Cotton has some sort of Mike Anderson clause in his contract that allows him to do an awful job for years on end without being terminated.

--Is everyone else as shocked as we are that Miami players were getting free parties, pussy and booze?

--And is it just us, or does it look like the Chinese team got the best of the Hoyas in this epic brawl? We suspect the outcome would have been much different in the days of Allen Iverson and Victor Page...

Editor's Note: PYB thanks the Donger for his addition of Michael Graham as a former Hoya who would have bloodied the Chinese Rockets. We would have obviously mentioned Patrick Ewing, had he not been so famous for not connecting on his shots in the clutch...

All for now, we'll be back soon with some college football coverage.

2011-08-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

If the fact that the NFL moved kickoffs up to the 35-yard line wasn't enough proof that the league has become marshmallow soft, a rookie QB getting a questionable personal foul flag against the 2010 Rookie of the Year should do it...

2011-08-12T12:07:00.001-07:00

When will Stricker realize he is playing in a major?

So Long to the SWAC...Well, Almost....

2011-08-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

PYB was pleased to see that the Nebraska basketball team put together a legitimate non-conference schedule for the first time in 15+ years. Adding some matchups at home against peer teams will add more fans to the seats than another meaningless 25-point win over a hapless SWAC squad. We'd rather watch NU lose an early-season matchup and learn something that will benefit the team in March than pound Alabama A&M 72-47.

In a week where Doc Sadler lost out on the most hyped in-state recruit in years, the shift in scheduling philosophy is a big win for everyone.

2011-08-11T17:04:00.001-07:00

Gabbert down in a heap again. Scared

2011-08-11T16:44:00.001-07:00

Three pressures on gabbert: two back foot throws and a sack..pussy

2011-08-11T16:40:00.001-07:00

Blaine Gabbert's first NFL pass went 4 yards---fitting.

2011-08-11T10:04:00.001-07:00

Way to grind tiger

Scum Devils

2011-08-11T06:38:00.000-07:00

PYB promises to release our annual college football season-win over/under prognostications. Just wrapping up some research. But the fact that Arizona State and Dennis Erickson are covering up the fact that reputed hothead Vontaze Burfict sucker-punched his teammate in the locker room could mean two things:

1. Erickson has no control of his team that is now set to go 5-7 on a schedule that does a traditionally horrible road team no favors.
-OR-

2. That Erickson is finally rounding his Sun Devil squad into the mold of his Miami and Oregon State teams, where thug life rules the roost and wins accumulate....only to leave the program sucking his dust a couple years later.

Should be fun to watch. And the fact that he's got the media backtracking and helping the coverup only brings up more question marks. Hell, Erickson has even praised Burfict's maturity after the brawl.

If nothing else, ASU will always hold a spot in our heart as one of the last games of the day to bet after digging a $500 hole each Saturday. Well, for that reason, and the moral-less skanks that provide joy for all Tempe-area residents. (Google images link here, to help PYB avoid trouble with work IT department). Where else could The Shocker pass as a school's gameday hand motion of choice? Only in Arizona, where slutty castoffs of single moms from California to Chicago flock in droves to slam booze, blow and get ridden more than Secretariat....

All for now...PYB

Pic of the Day - Pimpology

2011-08-10T19:29:00.001-07:00

Lesson Two, Breakin' the Bitch...

Pic of the Day -- Extreme Geek Edition

2011-08-08T14:45:00.001-07:00

@FonzieD15 & Co.

2011-08-07T04:24:00.000-07:00

--Great read by the Omaha World Herald's Jon Nyatawa on Nebraska's best player this year and last. A bit long, but worth the time, as PYB-favorite Alfonzo Dennard emerges from Prince Amukamara's artificially large shadow.

--Speaking of Amukamara, his NFL career has soured even earlier than PYB expected as he's out with a serious injury.

--We are all lucky enough to read, for the third time before the season's first game, how much the Husker football team loves each other this year. PYB couldn't care less how many jokes they shared over ribs this summer. Win some games that matter and we'll be happy.

--Final tidbit on Nebraska football: Two linemen hurt. The Cotton Regime continues. PYB wistfully remembers when NU's linemen used to block and were NEVER injured. Now, it's a constant litany if bumps and bruises keeping Barney's six-foot-seven, 320-pound behomoths sidelined day after day. Suck it up.

--Tiger Woods is JUST 13 SHOTS back entering the final round of the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational Sunday. If anyone can come back from that far down, it's Tiger Woods! PYB can't imagine a better storyline than 54-hole leader Adam Scott winning in Woods' return to the PGA Tour using Woods recently-fired caddie Steve Williams. That would be dope. The ultimate "fuck you" to ETW...especially watching the highlights of Scott and Williams having fun on the course Saturday.

Off to the links. Some pussy commented on our last post asking if we like ANYTHING? The answer: in today's sports world...not really. All contrived for money, unearned glory and television ratings. We prefer the days of unrestrained fighting, heavy drug and alcohol, real competition and earning championships. For now, we'll just bitch about how it used to be....

Devil

2011-08-05T05:33:00.001-07:00

In case you missed ESPN's ridiculous ticker last night, declaring that Tiger Woods was just seven shots off the lead and in 36th place: Woods has dropped to T-39 and is JUST NINE STROKES off the pace! If anyone can make a comeback like this, it's WOODS! Let's ignore the fact that his steroid-laced body is breaking down at a brisk pace and that he is 10 years past his prime.

Nevertheless, the Devil in Bristol ran three full minutes of Sportscenter highlights showing Woods' mediocrity before getting to the leaders' highlights. More proof that it's all about money and nothing about covering sports for the "Worldwide Leader." The highlights, of course, included Woods being a prick to media members who know he's delusional enough to think he can win the event and had the balls to ask him about it.

Further proof of ESPN's overblown sense of self-worht comes in this great article, courtesy of The Diggler. Real sports fans go elsewhere, why the casual fan stand in line for his serving of LeQueen, Tiger, Yankees/Sox, Tebow and the Patriots. BACK BACK BACK...GONE!

Speaking of Tim Tebow, PYB wishes him nothing but the best. But the fact that the Merril Hoge story became such a story is more proof of an ESPN-fueled media grab. Bottom line is that Tebow has no chance to become a long-term, successful NFL starter and should make his move to tight end now instead of later. Anyone who says he should start in Denver over Kyle Orton either knows nothing about football, is kidding himself, has the last name Tebow, or works for ESPN. We are just surpried Hoge is still employed by The Devil, since he told the truth.

Stay tuned for increasing PYB coverage as football nears. Sure, we could cover the Cubs' six-game win streak but don't have the energy. We'll offer our take on the Coaches' Top 25 poll and the Vegas season win total lines for college football. For now, we'll leave you with one of the Omaha World Herald links from Nebraska's fan day, where losers stretched 120 yards hoping to get autographs from overhyped Bubba Starling and daddy's boy Taylor Martinez.

The link we leave you with shows you the interviews of all this years pre-anointed 'leaders.' You can get a glimpse of their personalities, and that's about it, since every question is the same fluff you've heard 1000 times if you're over the age of 10.

The question we most wanted asked was of Austin Cassidy: "Austin, do you feel worse about the fact that you are wasting a scholarship that a deserving Division I player should actually have or that you lost your team the Big 12 Championship and a BCS berth with your Division-III level of safety play last December against Oklahoma?"

Finally, if you live in the Omaha area and are bored you can go to the Cox Classic and witness firsthand the Phoenix Open of the Nationwide Tour! There is now a TWIN PEAKS TENT! This is for people who think the overweight, white trash slut waitresses at Hooters are hot instead of what they truly are: single moms who spawned a couple illegitimate kids by age 20 and now are tapping the last half-ounce of their sex appeal for a few bucks of tips from blue-collar scums and fat, short-sleeve-dress-shirt-clad office workers who haven't seen pussy in 15 years who still find them desirable. After that, you can go to Costco, then PF Chang's then go see Boston at the Qwest Center!

And the answer to Tom Shatel's question is: if John Hurley can't make the cut at the Cox Classic, he ain't making the PGA Tour anytime soon. Hitting the ball 345 yards is commonplace on Tour and he's not destined for greatness because he's from Nebraska---shockingly enough. Shooting 70 on a pitch-and-putt course where 63 and 64 are routine won't get him there. But of course we wish him well.

All for now, have a nice weekend. PYB